#gamechangers

-

When he had first received the call-back, the Russian actor almost thought about not even showing up for it.

“Who’s going to watch a show about two gay hockey players?” He had asked himself while scowling over the photograph on his wall of the set of his last big film - a short-lived indie production that only ever got translated to English when it went straight to streaming.

Ilya rolls his eyes - right, this was going to be that, yet another failed project that would go totally under the radar of the average American audience.

With all the budget being spent on two actors who weren’t even that famous.

And to top it all off, he was going to be starring right next to romcom heartthrob, Shane Hollander.

-

“Well son,” Shane’s father fumbles off the exercise machine while holding his phone, “it’s not like you’re the first actor to do this, look at Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal!” He scoffs and he can practically hear Shane sweating on the other line. “Kissing a guy for a role is no big deal!”

“We do more than just kiss, dad,” he shyly says, while looking over his skyline view in New York City, finishing up his last night at some press conference for his latest holiday hit - Santa and Me - where Shane does exactly that, play a young Santa Claus who goes back in time to fix his mistakes in an a-la-christmas-carol fashion.

Sounds corny, and not really the type of work Shane sees himself doing. Then again, he doesn’t see himself in the role of closeted gay Canadian hockey player either.

“Yeah but it’s just acting,” his father reassures him, he’s a lot calmer about all this which both surprises and disappoints Shane. “You’ll get over it,” is all he has to offer while his son nods.

He exhales loudly when they end their conversation - his dad was never much of a talker anyway.

-

And, to think things unraveled the way that they did.

It was a round table reading - they were all in a circle, practicing their cues when Ilya had gotten up for a coffee.

He walks by, pretending to drop a folded note right next to Shane’s foot.

Shane picks it up, only to notice that the other actor is signaling for him to open it up. “1221,” he reads, looking confused.

Ilya offers him a wink instead.

-

It’s shocking that production had enough of a budget to put them up somewhere this nice.

Shared hotel accommodations between all the regulars, actors, director, writers too, heck anyone who has to be on set daily.

Shane shakes his head as his feet lead him to the door faster than his brain can register what he’s doing. “There’s no way,” he says to himself, making it to his co-star’s room in his pajamas, no less.

(It’s probably just to run lines, or maybe even, some kind of friendly late night coffee thing? Oh surely, it can’t be for - )

He almost loses his balance when Ilya answers the door in nothing but a fluffy white towel.

-

So, that’s how they wind up like this -

Nights spent sneaking off after shooting a new episode, stealing glances in-between line readings, getting stuck together with interview after interview and fan meet-ups and all sorts of questions about Shane and Ilya, Ilya and Shane.

(It’s even more confusing because the characters' names were changed after casting. So now, it’s almost like they’re playing themselves - and not some fanfiction about Sydney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin).

“I don’t even know a thing about hockey,” Shane complains, as he rolls to his side and hides his face away from the sun. “I’ve never even been to a game!”

Ilya pulls the curtains open, gazing into the distance - they had become so familiar with this particular hotel room, sometimes, it felt as though they almost lived here. “What is there to know?” He scoffs, looking over his shoulder this time. “There is a ball and there is a bat, yes?”

“What?” Shane giggles like a child. “You mean puck and hockey stick, do you even pay attention during the scenes where we’re on the ice and we wear skates? It’s not baseball, ” the joke passes over his head, as usual.

Ilya crawls back into their shared bed, tenderly, he takes a hold of Shane’s hand. “Perhaps,” he murmurs softly, “I am too busy, getting lost in the eyes of a handsome boy with freckles, I hardly ever manage to remember my lines.” He purrs, noticing the heat of Shane’s skin.

He stammers, overwhelmed by it all. “You say stuff like that,” he chokes. “No wonder there’s so many rumors about us.” Shane goes on with.

Ilya smiles, all the while. “Rumors,” he repeats, with his knee suddenly pressed in the space between Shane’s legs, “imply that it’s only speculation that we are, maybe, dating behind the scenes, or so the tabloids say, anyway.” he leans in and kisses his co-star, who is flushed with anticipation.

“And yet you are here, in my bed,” Ilya continues, pinning Shane’s hands to the wall. “So, it is not a rumor, after all, is it?”

Shane can’t keep up with the conversation when he has him like this - all helpless and begging.

Ilya’s right, it’s not a rumor - just unofficial.

-

(On set, things are not that different. The lights are bright and Ilya is towering on top of him, sweat dripping down his chest and a glazed look in his eyes, while there are about a dozen people around them. Camera folk and sound crew, one or two people messing around with the shades and even interns bringing in snacks and drinks.

An intimacy coordinator handles a lot of these scenes, she has them wearing these skin colored patches on their crotches which always gives Shane a lot more difficulty than he’d like to admit.

Mostly because, later on, when it’s just the two of them, Ilya teases him about almost getting a hard on during their scenes together).

-

“Apparently, I play the guitar for you,” Shane says, flipping through the script for season 2 and laughing.

“I didn’t think they could make you even more boring, Hollander,” Ilya scoffs, reading onwards.

“Hey,” Shane teases, pulling their dialogue sheet away from the other man, “at least they’re not making me call us lovers,” he goes on with.

“What’s wrong with being lovers?” Ilya doesn’t give him the time to answer, instead they walk into the bedroom together and there are rose petals on the sheets.

Shane forgets their practice run all together.

-

When the last episode airs - the numbers explode and they’re rewarded with even more time spent together. It gets trickier and trickier to hide their secret meet-ups. Ilya gets elaborate with disguises - trench coats, dark glasses, he even straightens his hair sometimes which ends up making him hardly recognizable.

Shane goes out of his way to rent different cars, pick out the obscurest of places to stay, woods and trees and nature-esque places that his partner always tends to hate.

But, he’ll tolerate the heat and the bugs if it means alone time with his boyfriend.

-

“What if…the show gets cancelled?” Shane asks, one night when they’re both lying on the grass together, right outside the little cottage they had rented out for the weekend.

“What if it never does?” Ilya quips, resting up on his elbows.

It doesn’t faze him that the man he chooses to have a secret relationship with isn’t taking any of this seriously at all - because in the end, he was a great balance to Shane’s constant anxiety.

“Then, I’d never get rid of you,” he banters back instead, sounding amused.

“You weren’t going to do that regardless, Hollander,” Ilya hums, with a kiss on Shane’s cheek.

“Right,” Shane says. “You know me so well,” he smiles.

It feels strange - like something he’d never pictured back when he first got into acting. They teach you all this stuff about expression and getting into character, how to best memorize scripts and convey emotion…but what about the other stuff?

What about when two actors wanna date each other?

“I do, ” Ilya interrupts his thoughts instead. “Just like I know that right now, you are going to ask me to make you a sandwich, yes?” he tells him, while getting up and reaching a hand over to help Shane off the ground.

“Well,” he shrugs, placing his fingers in the other’s palm. “Since you offered,” it’s a confident response, one that the old Shane could never even picture himself saying.

Looks like his boyfriend’s mannerisms had rubbed off on him after all.

-

They are informed that season 2 won’t start shooting for a while, just until the director catches up with writing up a storm and yet - both their schedules are still filled to the brim with promo work.

Ilya no longer flies back to Russia, as it turns out, even playing a gay role for an acting gig is still not a good look there. Still, he stays the same aloof indie starter film dude he’s always been - he’s different from the Ilya he plays on Heated Rivalry after all, his family isn’t as angsty, his mom’s not dead but still distant, his dad’s not sick either and best of all, he’s got no jerk of a brother.

Shane’s family’s different too - they’re divorced, but happily so and he even has a sister who’s gay so they wouldn’t even care if he brought his co-star boyfriend home, he thinks. Maybe someday he will, heck, maybe they’d even come out as a couple someday to the whole world.

Hollywood’s not that unfriendly of a place for queer actors, he supposes, not as bad as how it goes in big hockey leagues anyway.

If his character could do it, despite the toxic masculinity of the NHL, then surely the real Shane Hollander could too.

Only if he wanted to, of course. Which, to be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure about.

-

“You know,” Shane is wandering off in his thoughts again, this time, it’s while they make breakfast together right before running off for a morning show appearance. “It would be easier if we just moved in together,” he says, in reference to the fact that this is the third hotel change they’ve had this week. “All this back and forth is really stressful,” Shane adds on.

“Yes well,” Ilya flips the pancakes with smoothness and precision. “I have been thinking the same thing, Shane,” he says, while placing his carefully crafted dish on a plate.

It’s only later that he notices how his boyfriend is adjusting his glasses in the way he does when he’s overthinking about something, yet again.

“We don’t have to tell anyone,” Ilya reassures him, with a hand on the other’s shoulder.

Shane reaches over, tightening his grip around his partner’s fingers. “I don’t want to,” he finally realizes, feeling a weight lifted off of him. “This is just for us,” he shares, already seeming lighter than usual.

He wonders if Ilya will be okay with that - with them remaining a secret, just a little while longer.

(It’s not something that has to happen anyway, coming out, straight people don’t have to do it, so why should they?)

“I like that,” his boyfriend offers. And, once again, he erases all of Shane’s anxieties. Almost as if Ilya had been doing exactly that, all this time. “Oh and I want a dog,” he suggests, breaking the brief silence once more.

“As long as you’re the one taking it out for walks in the winter,” Shane pours himself a glass of orange juice to go with his meal.

“Hey,” Ilya softly elbows him, taking a seat at the table. “We could live anywhere,” he reminds him. “Doesn’t have to be somewhere where there is a winter,” they begin eating and something sparks inside Shane, like a fire suddenly ignited.

“You’re right,” he clicks.

Ilya takes a bite from his breakfast and shakes his head. “Shane Hollander, no longer in Canada,” he concludes. “Have you ever thought about that?”

He looks into the other man’s eyes and sees nothing but endless possibilities ahead of him.

“It’s crossed my mind,” Shane coyly says.