I feel deeply, and I am easily overwhelmed, so if anything, my social toolkit is mainly composed of pure vibes, and that is sooo difficult to navigate while living in the moment.
I remember how, as a child, I would practise poems in my room, running after dinner to act out movies and musicals in my parents' room, trying to remember my lines for plays back in kindergarten when I actually enjoyed being perceived. I didn't know I'd have to get back to those habits at 21.
It's very exciting to be in the middle of it all and fly around my friends, exes, and crushes like a true socialite, until the moment it actually gets to the question "What's up with you?", and then, by the tenth time someone asked me, I already felt sick of myself...........
/Buff, a lady just rang the doorbell and opened a little book, asking me if we can enjoy life forever. She started talking about how the people won't save the earth, but God will. As it is a political campaign, she pulled up a piece of paper with a bunch of QR codes and read that the Bible reveals that in the future: "Everyone will have perfect health," and "The earth's environment will be restored."/
Repeating the same key moments that were broad enough but still worth sharing to engage in small talk over and over again exhausted me quickly. Through simplifying my experiences, I kind of forgot there is more to the picture. The moment I got to be home, I couldn't point a finger at what was going through my nerves, and I felt plastic.
