Auberge du Vert Galand Hotel in the 1st district of Paris

It's Galand this time. QUIT BEING LAZY WITH THE COMMANDMENTS!

*breathes* He's similar to Serpent Sin of Envy, useful for Knighthood Boss Battles because he has lots of different debuffs to give out.

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Summary: It's the week of the Winter Solstice and the demons are partying like they normally do. For some of them (read, my favourite Commandments) that means playing pranks on each other. Or, a festive oneshot featuring my favourite demons.

AN: Festive shenanigans with my favourite group of demons; what's not to like? Title of the fic is from 'Fairytale of New York' by The Pogues; which I think fits a certain arguing demon couple quite well.

Chills. Tickly gusts. Something silky caressing various parts of his body. Something else very soft pressing against his front. These were all things Monspeet became aware of as he started to wake up. He hadn't opened his eyes yet. If he was remembering last night correctly... he and Derieri had stumbled to bed together. And being in bed with her was so much of a dream, he dared not open in his eyes in case he was misremembering it. There was something soft and warm against his front, which might well have been her. They did cuddle, in spite of suggestions Commandments weren't the cuddling type.

But... the two of them being in bed together didn't explain the chills or the gusts. Nor did it explain the silky something. The sheets on the beds in the castle were silky, but not this silky. It wasn't covering all of him either. Whatever he was lying on seemed too hard to be a bed as well. Which meant one thing for it. Monspeet slowly opened his eyes. Grey slabs. Cold grey slabs. He appeared to be in the courtyard. Perhaps the two of them hadn't stumbled to bed after all. They were drunk and it wasn't uncommon for one high ranked demon to wake up in the courtyard the next morning after a party like last night's. And around this time of year, the Winter Solstice, the demons tended to have quite a few parties.

Though... he could feel the tickly gusts tickling his legs. And, unlike Derieri, he didn't wander around in only darkness. In case of exactly this occurring. So... it did beg the question of why the gusts were tickling his legs. He tried to summon darkness to cover him. Tried being the operative word. He could still feel the tickly gusts on his legs. Which meant a magic dampening signal. While wandering around in the nude was not typically done by high ranked demons, he could do it until he got out of range of the magic dampening signal. He tried to sit up. Again, tried. Whatever the silky thing was wrapped around him made it impossible to move. The soft thing squished against his front started to move. Stir. He had gone to bed with Derieri. The two of them were lying together.

And her starting to stir made him very aware of the fact he was naked and so was she. Flames licked under the skin where her body touched his. She was squirming, just starting to wake up, and it felt really nice. He pleaded with his body to behave itself. Based on what he had noted already, they were in the courtyard. And he did not need that kind of humiliation this morning.

“Mons...” Her voice was thick with sleep. He thought it adorable, but had no desire to thumped for voicing that thought.

“Yes?” He asked instead.

“Why are we in the courtyard?” She asked sluggishly.

“I wish I knew the answer to that myself.” He answered. She squirmed and more flames licked under his skin.

“Why can't we move?” He prayed his body behaved itself. Her squirming like that felt a little too good.

“Another question I don't have the answer for I'm afraid.” He answered her.

“I can't summon darkness and I can't move and...” Her cheeks went pink, her voice lowering to say the next bit.

“I'm naked.” The thought of telling her he was the same went through Monspeet's head. He quickly pushed it down; he did not need her being curious the way some demons were about exactly how male he was. Not that he thought Derieri would try to find out; she'd become very sick if she did, he figured. It did beg the question of what exactly to say to her though.

“There's something around here dampening our...” He spotted a slight flicker just over her shoulder. A Perfect Cube. The probable source of the dampening signal.

“I'm starting to suspect we've been pranked.” He felt her body go stiff.

“What?” Then she bristled with rage.

“Somebody made sure we were naked, tied us together and placed us in the courtyard in a Perfect Cube.”

“Yeah, that isn't funny.” He agreed with her on that one. It was annoying. He guessed they could get out of this when the Perfect Cube shattered. Which, if it was one from Gowther's incantation orbs, meant half a day from casting. Lord knows what time the two of them stumbled to bed last night.

“Oh my god.” Both Monspeet and Derieri forced a look down their bodies. A maid who had been referred to as 'Derieri's-sister-from-another-mister' was looking at them.

“Thank you whatever lords gave me this vision this morning!” Said maid shouted. She started happily dancing about, making both of them ponder what exactly she was referring to.

“I wonder if they know. If they know they're both...” A smirk crossed the maid's face.

“I bet if she wiggled about a bit she'd find out if she didn't already know!”

“May we help you?” Monspeet asked, not wanting to hear the rest of what she was saying. Derieri wiggling about sounded like exactly what he didn't want.

“Oh! You're awake! Apologies for disturbing you.” She bowed, remembering her place.

“Help us.” Derieri told her.

“Um... how? Lady Derieri!” She quickly added, aware she was supposed to address the two of them as 'lord' and 'lady'.

“Do you know when this Perfect Cube was cast? I am presuming it to be one of Gowther's incantation orbs.” Monspeet asked her. The maid shook her head.

“It is one of Gowther's; he made them appear that shade of pink on purpose so he knew they lasted a half day exactly from when the orb was smashed. The pair of you were in the cube when I came in this morning at daybreak, lord Monspeet.”

“Time?”

“The breakfast bell hasn't been rung yet, lady Derieri.” The maid answered. It both did, and didn't, answer the question. Then again, maids didn't have time to be clock-watching. The breakfast bell rings about three hours after daybreak... which still doesn't help with... midnight! We left after the midnight bell. Which means...

“Thank you. I believe it might shatter in the early afternoon.” He informed her.

“If you require help to be untied... I'll be happy to help you both!” She bowed, before scurrying off.

“We're going to be made a spectacle of, aren't we?” Derieri lamented.

“I believe so.” He answered, lamenting their fate himself.

XxX

By the time the orb shattered, and they'd been untied, everyone had saw them. All of the other Commandments had come to gloat or mock or just laugh at them. Though, Grayroad had told the pair of them what had happened, when she'd finished laughing. Somebody had got a shiny red ribbon and trussed the pair of them up in it, before trapping them in a Perfect Cube. And whoever it was had stripped him, because he didn't wander around in only darkness; so he and Derieri would both be naked.

It had been utterly mortifying being leered at and 'eyeball-fucked' as Derieri had bluntly put it afterwards. Most of the lewd suggestions and comments had been noblewomen, the men very aware of Derieri's curse. Some of them had been suggesting she ground on him, rolled her hips to give him a little relief. He wanted to know exactly which nobles they were, so they could discover it wasn't just her temper that was as hot as hellfire; his was too. And they'd discover that right before they became a pile of ashes; neither of them were whores chained up for their entertainment.

He was quite thankful for the Perfect Cube though. It stopped the other demons from touching them... or worse. The worse he didn't want to imagine. He'd been handed a piece of paper with 'You're Welcome' written in semi-familiar chicken-scratch when he'd been untied. It had apparently been dangling from the ribbon, making them resemble a present. That he recognised the chicken-scratch meant it had to have been another Commandment. One of them had done this to the pair of them. He wouldn't dare ask. Though... he did want revenge for that particular humiliation. Not just for himself; but for her as well.

“We gonna find out who did this?” She asked.

“We might. And we'll get our revenge if we do.” That brought a grin to her face. A slight smile crossed his at the thought of making whoever it was pay. It didn't take them long to find out.

“Ah, finally free from your little love-nest in the courtyard, are you?” Melascula teased, most of the others laughing at the comment.

“I hope you didn't do it, for your sake.” Derieri grumbled darkly, not liking being teased.

“Or else what? You sic your pet hellfire wielder on us?” Calmadios asked, a nasty smirk on his face. It earned more laughter and a few catcalls. Monspeet didn't rise to the bait; used to the tease by now.

“I don't need him to fight my battles for me. I'm more than capable of fighting them myself.” The comment earned more catcalls and a few teasing comments. He chose to ignore them. He was above their childish attempts to make him lose his temper anyway.

“You find my note?” That got Monspeet's attention. Galand had said 'his note'. It appeared he'd done it. That he was the reason they'd been humiliated like that.

“Which note would that be?” It didn't hurt to make sure, however.

“The one which said 'You're Welcome'. Which, by the way, you are. I mean, waking up tied up to the girl I'd been admiring all night would be a dream come true to me! And I gave you that.” He knew who the culprit was. And he had every intention of getting him back, with interest.

“You did.” He answered, trying very hard not to reveal his hand yet.

“Feels pretty good having a naked woman squirming all over you, doesn't it?” Galand hadn't took the hint. Good. It would make it all the more shocking when he was pranked in return.

“I wouldn't know that, would I? The both of us remained rather still.”

“Ah, I see. If that had been your quarters I'd bet that would have been a different story, right?”

“Perhaps.” Monspeet did his usual trick of sidestepping the question. He had desire for her, yes. Her commandment would prevent anything from happening though; so he kept that desire to himself. The armoured demon seemed satisfied with the answer, and went off to join the others. Who were still baiting Derieri.

“If you wish to spar so badly...” He remarked, letting a small fireball flick around everyone just close enough to startle them, just far enough away to let them know he intended no harm. For now.

“Then perhaps we should move this argument outside.” The others nodded.

“We haven't done our sparring today. Something about needing everyone, save our leader, to practice. Of course, the Executioner is acting as a stand in.” Gowther pointed out. He'd been quietly observing the goings on, as he normally did. It was the other demons who prodded and teased and... generally, encouraged as many sparring sessions as possible.

“And he's been rather eager to test all of us.” The pink haired demon told them, heading for the door. Everyone else trickled after him, Derieri quickly ending up at Monspeet's side.

“I know who it was.” He whispered to her. She made an inquisitive noise.

“He won't see retribution coming, trust me on that.”

“Trust you on more than that.” She whispered back, before swinging a few punches in front of her as they headed for the courtyard; getting warmed up. The words made a soft smile creep on his face, unseen by any of the others.

XxX

Monspeet opened his eyes. This time, he was where he wanted to be. In bed, with Derieri, on the Winter Solstice. He scrambled up and stretched, before lightly patting her shoulder. She grumbled, but sat up as well. She stretched, darkness covering her as she did so.

“Blessed Winter Solstice.” He whispered.

“Blessed Winter Solstice to you too.” There was a moment of silence, before she shook herself.

“Did you do it?” He nodded, grinning. She smirked.

“Then we'd best go out to the courtyard to listen to the bells ringing in the morning.” He nodded. It only took the pair of them a few moments to head down to the courtyard, black and red uniforms covering them. It was reminiscent of the midday moon in the demon realm on the Winter Solstice, black skies and blood red moon glittering in the sky. The other Commandments wore their uniforms as well. Although...

“Where's that lazy old man?” Melascula asked.

“Perhaps he's still in bed.” Monspeet suggested; even though he knew exactly where Galand was and it was not in bed.

“Yeah, I'm sure he guzzled his weight in booze last night.” Zeno added. No one suspected the lie, good. It would make it even better when... The first bell rung out accompanied by a deep moan.

“What was that?” Calmadios asked, sniggering. The second ringing also had a moan follow it. As did the third and fourth.

“Galand?” Derieri asked, grinning. Monspeet nodded. He used the ribbon to truss Galand up, and plonked him in the bell tower. He'd made his own way to bed after closing the door. And right now, Galand was not enjoying the bells ringing in the morning of the Winter Solstice. His howls of annoyance joined the bells, making the Commandments all start laughing. They knew what the howls were; their missing comrade.

Eventually, he will find the note saying you're welcome. Monspeet thought, a slight smile on his face. He was laughing as well, on the inside. Derieri was laughing enough for the pair of them.

“When I find... which of you... did this, I'm... make you pay... name isn't...” Galand was shrieking in annoyance, but it kept being drowned out by the bells ringing out an age old tune. It only made the others laugh harder. Monspeet cracked a rare smile. Blessed Solstice indeed.