Miss Gail’s 2025 Life Update: A Horrible No Good Very Bad Year
Dearest Gentle Reader,
Here’s an old school update on my life this past year, taken mainly from the Chirrup in case, for some reason, you aren’t able to get it (and you still wanna know what’s going on).
Gail Carriger’s Horrible No Good Very Bad Year
January 2025 – Crisis
I started off the year dealing with an epic crisis with the Popster (rolled over from 2023). A
After relocating him (while concussed – me, not him), settling him into a new home (grumpy – both of us), he was diagnosed with kidney failure. At 91 with all his wits about him, he elected not to pursue further treatment so was released from hospital into hospice care at his new abode. I had already essentially relocated to be with him at that point. You can read a bit more about the Popster here.
I had help, the hospice team was amazing, and my friends rallied ’round. But it impacted… well, everything. I struggled to get any work done at all at his place (let alone fiction writing), and the driving back and forth was increasingly taxing. I didn’t make you any promises on deadlines for 2025, and frankly that was one of my better choices of the whole hellish year.
Right around the same time my stepdad and one of my best friends were also diagnosed terminal.
This was on the heels of having lost my beloved cat and ending a 15 year relationship.
Starting out on a low means things can only get better, right?
February 2025 – Death
The popster died, not unexpectedly.
It was not peaceful. I should have known he would “not go gentle into that good night.” (Shakes tiny fist at Dylan Thomas.)
His death resulted in drama that I can’t go into.
My friends got so worried, they assigned me a security detail. Locks were changed. Wild times.
I am trustee, only child, yadda yadda. There was stuff. So much stuff. Not to mention things. So many things. All of which became My Problem.
I got called to Jury Duty.
Facebook jumped from obfuscated evil to outright evil.
There was an error in chapter 11 of The Dratsie Dilemma audiobook. (I have the patch but I can’t upload to Amazon/Audible because they don’t let you edit audio that is live. I never got around to fighting with them about it.) The audiobook on Gumroad is good though!
Then Gumroad shut down my account! They decided The Dratsie Dilemma (of all my books) violated their “decency” standards. (As a corporation, I don’t think Gumroad has any decency, so this is rather rich coming from them.)
They also declined to pay me.
It all got fixed but then…
My website went down.
Good times. February. Good times. Thanks for that.
On the side of dark humor: The Popster’s last meal (as it turned out) was ½ a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream and a glass of nigori sake. Excellent choices all round, if you ask me.
Speaking of grief:
Me: Buys 3 new pairs of boots. Niece (10 years old) awed: “You can just do that as an adult? Buy 3 pairs of boots? All at once?” A pause. Exchanges glances with her mother. Niece suddenly serious, “Oh! She’s sad.” The emotional intelligence of this kid! I tell ya. Amazing.
Incidentally, in that picture above from WorldCon I am wearing one of the pairs of new boots. Aren’t they fun? They make me feel powerful. And tall. I love them very much.
Bright Note: Real Life Found Family
So I write found family narratives because it’s something I strongly believe in. I found my family in high school (and have added to it ever since). The thing that has given me the most comfort during this time with the Popster has been this found family of mine.
I am delighted to report to you that this narrative I have foisted upon you (would we say proselytized?) for well over 30 books now… is true.
My 2025 from hell highlighted found family as the absolute winner. The support my friends have given me these last two years has been truly incredible and amazing.
You see, I tend to be the guardian caretaker hostess boss of my social group. I like that role, it suits me. But this time around they were the ones coming to my rescue. Friends who I think of as soft sweethearts, who have always needed me to defend them against the world, who are kind-hearted and gentle, they took up proverbial arms on my behalf.
It was like having a rabid pack of vicious Pomeranians defending me.
I may need to put werepomeranians into my next book.
Here’s me doing a deep dive into the Found Family trope with Madame Askew and the Grand Arbiter at CONPossible (YouTube). It’s a blast, enjoy! And best of all… it’s true.
The Aftermath
Chirrup subscribers and online friends sent me kind words of comfort, not to mention adorable pet pictures. I read and looked at all of them. I felt very loved and taken care of.
What a complicated thing death can be. Initially, I found the stuff & things most challenging. Too many objects niggle at me. I get overwhelmed easily by abundance, so I tackled stuff first. (I’m not a minimalist but I make no case for it.)
Surplus medical supplies etc… went to an aged care charity I’m posting about it here because I didn’t know these existed and now I do, I want to spread the word. You might have one near you.
I donated larger stuff to non-profit organizations.
The Popster’s 1960s literary archive went to The Beat Museum. My dad was a completely unknown but very embedded beat poet.
I found artists and woodworkers in need of tools and supplies.
And friends in need of furniture.
It was actually quite rewarding. I’m not sentimental around objects (I wonder if this comes from having been an archaeologist) but it was nice to see things go to good homes.
In the middle of all this I left the country briefly (Mexico, a baby writing retreat) and attended a truly lovely steampunk event in Atlanta.
That combination brought me more peace than I expected. Travel is a balm for me. I had not been able to travel out of the country since Thailand in October of 2023. That’s a long time for me.
I had grand ambitions to write fiction, but wasn’t able to do much, instead focusing on my new non-fiction book. I did manage to complete a rough draft of that.
Divinity 36 got a BookBub Featured Deal. I haven’t had a BFD in a decade, and I was thrilled to score one for this particular book. I’m still so proud of the Tinkered Starsong series. I ran the numbers after and I am not sure how effective it was at getting new readers, but hopefully at least a few people gave it a chance who otherwise might not.
Bright note: A Valentines Mandolin
I am a survivor of a Great Mandolin Crisis. Let me explain.
On a whim I bought myself a cheap $5 mandolin a few years ago. I’m aware of the Great Danger in such an tool. Many close to me have sliced off fingertips. Yet I am stubborn. I prevailed despite the risk. And I LOVED my mandolin. I am a big fan of a cucumber (Dimity notwithstanding) and this mandolin did one thing and one thing beautifully – it sliced cucumbers perfectly. Plus it was small enough to fit into my only kitchen utility drawer. We had a torrid and devout love affair of some three months, the mandolin and I. And then… oh and then… I took it to my mother’s house. In my defense, I had become quite reliant on it and I was planning to cook a meal for her with lots of sliced things. Well, naturally, I left it behind at the mum’s. I called mum in a panic and she “put it in a safe place” to return to me. Yes, my darlings, the mandolin was lost. Lost, I thought, perhaps forever. Thus began an epic hunt for a new one. But since I bought the original at a “shop where objects go to die” AKA Homegoods, I could not find another exactly like it. Apparently, the world felt that mandolin technology needed to “be improved upon.” They made them so one could change the width of the slice (no thank you) or have fancy handles (doesn’t fit in the drawer) or “safety features” which stick up and mess with dexterity (I’ll take the risk). And then on Valentine’s Day 2025, I got a package from the Mum. Guess what was inside? She found my original mandolin!
Best Valentine’s Day present EVAH!
March – An Actual Book Release
You’d Think I Was An Author or Something
A New Special Subterranean edition was announced = the printed version of the Dear Lord Akeldama compendium.
It was delayed for months because of tariffs and issues with printing presses and paper shortages, but eventually it all got sorted out.
This book is the only place this content will ever be in print, if I have my way.
I’m not ruling out a paperback version, but it would be offered as an exclusive to my Chirrup subscribers only. And it will be years in the future. As I type this a few of the fancy cloth-bound ones are still available. I would jump on it if you want one.
Bright note: Hobbiting About
My high school friends and I are Very Silly Folk so we gathered together for a hobbit day.
I missed the memo that we were to dress up as hobbits and so accidentally wore all black and was dubbed the baby nazgûl. We put on LOTR but mostly just MST3Ked it and ate way too much food. We had :
a vast elaborate charcuterie board
roasted potatoes
roasted mushrooms & thyme
deviled eggs
smoked salmon & fixings
stuffed mushrooms
rosemary roasted lamb
smoked Cornish hen
green beans
roasted cauliflower
chard
shepherd’s pie
roasted root veg
2 kinds of salad
apple crisp
cherry pie
pear cider & beer
copious amounts of tea
It was pretty darn epic.
April – Ramping up Events Again
Come Spring I started doing lots of events, travel, and social stuff. Not necessarily a wise choice for an introvert. Why yes, I was trying to escape my life and shake myself up. How did you guess? I’d never had this kind of stacked loss to deal with before (relationship, cat, dad, friend, family), thus I had no coping mechanisms for it. (Not sure I have them now, either.)
I know, I know, but it’s me. I would like a Gantt chart for loss, a template for grief, and a color-coded spreadsheet for estate management. Please and thank you?
Barring that, I traveled away from my life and responsibilities. I decided if I couldn’t write (fiction remained a major struggle) to Be Busy and distract the brain. Maybe with the brain focused on new sensory input my muse would resurface.
Emotions are hard.
Grand Arbiter, Gail Carriger, Madame Askew at CONPossibleÂ
Other 2025 Gail Events ended up including…
Atlanta, GA – CONpossible
Dulles, VA – All-Star Book Marketing Retreat
Bruguières, France – Echos & Merveilles 2025
Berkeley, CA – Bay Area Book Festival
San Francisco, CA – SFinSF
Oakland, CA – 2025 Locus Awards
Hanover, VA – CJ’s Flutteryby Tea
Chicago, IL – Q&A + Book Signing at Volumes
Seattle, WA – Worldcon 83
Belmont, CA – Indie Author Fest
Aurora, CO – MileHiCon 57
Tucson, AZ – TusCon 52
Santa Clara, CA – Love & Tech Book Fest
Online stuffs included
Sierra Writers Conference 2025
Worldbuilding Con
All of which is to say, after being trapped in one place for much of 2024 and then smothered in a gravy made of freedom and grief, I basically said yes to everything and thus spent most of 2025 flying all over the place like a madcap ferret in a vintage hat, cursing past me’s decisions.
Which is not to say I didn’t enjoy the traveling, I have a podcast about it after all, but I might have pushed it a bit. I hope to pull back in 2026.
May 2025 – I Managed to Write a Little
Off to a small picturesque Pacific Northwest island to officiate a wedding ceremony. I was honored to be asked and it was a lovely day – with copious amounts of cheese.
I finally managed to scribble down new words of fiction. The beginnings of a new Parasolverse story coded HTCAK. I went on a writing retreat and it worked. I got about 12k down over one weekend – a solid start on the next Claw & Courtship book.
After struggling so much to write fiction this felt like a small miracle to me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to sustain it.
As I type this in December of 2025, it’s been 8 months working on this book and it’s still not finished. Normally it takes me about 6 months to write a fiction book. And while this one is running long, this is still behind for me.
Although, in retrospect, it’s not as bad as I thought.
Meanwhile, the Gail Carriger Discord server managed to start and maintain a book group. Probably because I’m not in charge. If you want to join the Discord and are having issues with the link please drop us a line and Kelly will make it happen.
This is not the book I’m writing, but everyone got very excited about it. So maybe in the future.
June-Sept 2025 – Midyear Slump & Lots of Travel
I managed to mostly wrap up the Popster’s estate. Challenging as various professionals whose help I required kept ghosting me. (I’m aware of the irony in using that term.)
As I type list there it still one lingering Thing, but it’s almost done.
Computer Crisis
So there I was in Chicago, gracelessly weathering a heatwave, eating yummy food, and hanging with the high school besties. (One of us has emigrated to the Greater Chicago Area and is struggling to adapt, so we went in force as a show of solidarity.)
I brought my computer because I intended to work. In fact, I did work-like stuff on the plane. And then.
Oh and then.
I upended an entire glass of water on said computer.
I did all the things. I dried what I could. But the Blinky Blinky Light of Doom did break.
And thus I was without my main computer for a while.
I returned home with Blinky in tow.
It was whisked away to see if it could be saved by Apple. No.
Could the data be saved. No.
And so I scraped some funds together for a new one.
Don’t worry, I always back up my computer the day before I travel. Always. So I only lost work done on the flight over. Still, it’s a touch disheartening. And an evident hassle, as one might expect when one’s entire life is essentially on one piece of tech.
October-November 2025 – Calm before more travel
I finished out the last events of my year and hunkered down trying to get everything sorted before my big trip to Thailand. Not only my own paperwork and shut down procedures, but also the very last of the Popster’s estate, plus some necessary family and friends maintenance.
Why back to Thailand?
So, as I started out this year of woe, right around when my Dad died, one of my best friends got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Since she lives in Thailand and I was already planning a visit, I extended those plans to ensure additional quality time. I’d also be taking on primary care for a while as her partner needed to leave for visa reasons.
December 2025 – Back in Thailand
So my loves, I’m now back in Thailand. For up-to-date info on my doings, please do join the Chirrup. These long form posts from me seem to happen only once or twice a year now.
My defacto stepdad is also quite ill, so there is a chance I might have to emergency come home as well. I’m telling you, 2025 has not been kind to me or the people I love. I am very happy to see the back of it.
Hopefully this is more than enough update for now. And hopefully you had a better 2025 than I did.
Yours, hanging in there,
Miss GailÂ
