•Summary: Y/N and her boyfriend Connor are in a very toxic relationship therefore Y/N believes that's how every relationship should go. When Connor cheats on her, Y/N finds the courage to break up with him and meets Theodore Nott, a Slytherin who showed her how a real relationship should go.
•Song: Daylight, by Taylor Swift.
"And I can still see it all in my mind, all of you, all of me intertwined. I once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden."
(Some phrases from the music may appear written like this in the middle of this post)
A/N and warnings: here's probably one of my biggest works ever haha
i'm sorry for the many time skips but, in the end there is an obvious mention of sexual activity, not explicit tho
Also for a little context, Y/N and Connor met each other on last year but they talked all summer long and started to date on august and broke up on december.
One of your best friends Luna Lovegood walked up to you while you were rushing to reach your dorm. As soon as you spot her, your expression softens, looking at the blonde kindly.
"Y/N, I need to speak with you! It's... urgent." she gasps for air due to her run.
"Luna, please, breath," you show a smile but still worried "what happened?"
Your heart sanked. Was Connor okay? Was he in trouble? He had been your boyfriend for the past 5 months and well, it wasn't the best relashionship you ever had - considering you never had one before - but it wasn't the baddest.
No one was perfect and sometimes people lose their minds and do things they don't want to. Like the time when he came back dead ass drunk from a party he forbade you to go to with your friends and slaped you across the face. That wasn't him, it was the alchool talking. And you forgave him.
"What happened?" you grab a piece of your hair and put it behind your ear.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry... He's with Violet." What? She didn't mean that.
"No, Luna, he's not... You're not..."
"He's making out with her on the Gryffindor common room. I didn't want to show you, maybe you'd be too startled-" she talks to you in a low tone, even though no one was around.
He was with another girl. That's what he did at the parties he didn't let you go to? Just so he could kiss your friends? What was next? Hooking up with them?! Maybe he already had done that too.
Your head bows down. Your heart aches. Your hands shake. Your eyes start to give in, letting the tears roll down your face.
No. He wasn't like this... was he?
"Gryffindor common room you said?" you look up, wipping the tears, not wanting to call one of your oldest friends a liar, but you needed to see it with your own eyes. It didn't matter how much it hurt.
Luna gulps and nods, grabing your arm, intertwining it with hers and takes you to the party.
Luna mumbles the Gryffindor password and you pass through the little door leading you to their common room. The lights almost blind your eyes, considering you were both in the dark halls before. You bring your hand up to your face, to clean the tears and to cover your eyes.
Loud music, people dancing, people drinking. That was what the party looked like but your eyes were set on him.
Connor. Making out with a girl. Another girl. He swore to be faithful and here he was. Kissing another girl when the only one he should kiss was you. Even though, reflecting on it now and with the scene unfolding in front of you, that thought disgusted you.
The blonde looks at you with melancholic eyes, feeling sorry for you. She touches your arm gently, trying to lead you away from such sight. They didn't even noticed you.
If a stranger looked at them right now, he'd see a happy couple just fooling around in the party; but that wasn't a couple and they were too comfortable to being doing that for the first time. That definetely wasn't their first time at it.
The world however seemed to keep going: the party didn't stop at the scene, the music kept louder and louder, people sang and drank but your heart still ache.
That's when it hits you: the world kept spining. Right now you felt like crying, your boyfriend cheated on you - you had a valid reason.
Whoever controlled the lights was making an awesome job, until it illuminates them. On a corner, smilling at each other now. The world seemed to stop for a few seconds.
Everyone looked worse in the lights.
Luna brought you back to reality by shaking your shoulder and leading you out of the party.
"Y/N, I'm really sorry that you had to see that, but..." she opens the door of the common room and leads you out gently "He wasn't a nice person."
Your eyes give up, letting the tears roll down, but silently. Your hands shake again. She was right... wasn't she?
"We warned you so much. He..." she stops talking, realizing that maybe you didn't want to hear that now "I'll walk you to our dorm, okay?"
The walk was silent, but she never let go of you. Well, it certainly was a silent walk for her but your thoughts were on fire. Not only the nice things Connor had done for you - which weren't a lot - but all of the bad things. How could you be so stupid? He treated you like trash, cheated on you, slapped and manipulated you and you still stayed?
There are so many lines that I've cross unforgiven.
Maybe this wasn't all his fault but you had a part of it. You thought your friends were crazy for telling you that wasn't what a real relationship should look like, but that was what you saw your whole life.
Your parents were abusive with each other and sometimes even with you. They yelled, smoked, drank, cheated on each other, they beat each other up... well, definetely not the most loving parents or the best relationship you'd ever witnessed. But you're friends were right. All this time. And you didn't listen.
I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked.
On the other hand, Connor didn't seem to care, so why would you? This relatonship had been over for a long time.
The next morning was like others: calm, if Connor wasn't around. You got up, did what you had to do and step out of your dormitory, directly to the Great Hall to have breakfast. Before even your heels could turn around the corner, a hand griped on your arm, stopping you.
As you do, you see the green eyes you once believed in and trusted: Connor's.
"Y/N, you didn't wait for me. Are you okay?" he asked, letting you go.
Your expression turned serious, and so did your boyfriend's.
"I don't have to explain myself to you-"
"What?" he interrupted you but you ignored.
"-since you aren't my boyfriend anymore."
"What?!" his loud tone draws attention from students passing by, which did not make him content. His hand flew to your wrist and he pulled you with him, to a more private place.
"What are you talking about?" you free yourself from his grip.
"I thought you made it quite obvious when you made out with Violet in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, yesterday at the party."
"You went to that party? I told you to not." he points a finger to your face.
"You don't get to control me, Connor!" you counter back, voice steady but hurt.
"Yes, I..." he stops himself before saying something else and massages his temple "Y/N, I love you. I would never make out with Violet, please. You need to understand that I would never do anything like that, baby. I love you..." he puts a lock of your hair behind your ear.
His expression softens suddenly, accompanying the words that came out of his mouth. Bullshit. If this had been your first fight, you'd fall for it. His 'I love you' wasn't normal like it used to be. He used to say it with such ease but now, it seemed rather empty.
"Don't. Save it for someone else." your cold gaze wanders through him "We're done, stop looking for me. I put up with a lot, way more than I should have."
He scoffs, without patience.
"This isn't over, baby. You know damn well there isn't one guy in the world who would want to stay with you as much as I do. You'll crawl back to me... You'll see." his gaze turns serious and while stepping away from you, he bumps on your shoulder with unecessary force.
As he leaves, you suddenly let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.
"Y/N?" a voice calls you, drawing your attention to your back.
The smell of cinnamon invaded your nostrils and you knew exactly who it was: your friend, Lorenzo. Even though you were from different houses, you were still friends and Enzo was the first one to tell you to stay away from Connor - which you didn't listen.
After starting the relationship, Connor knew Enzo was your friend and forbade you to hang out with him. Obviously Enzo didn't care and that did not went well for you but you never told him what Connor did to you.
"I'm okay, Enzo." you nodded, your hands trembled slightly but not so much as yesterday at night. When you saw it. "It's... over."
"What happened to change your mind?" his eyebrows furrowed.
"He made out with a 'friend' of mine... At the Gryffindor party."
He nodded, understanding and didn't say another word. He led you to the Great Hall and had breakfast with you. He didn't leave your side until he could get a laugh from you, which he did.
"See you at lunch?" the brunette boy looked at you, almost entering Snape's classroom.
"Yeah, bye Enzo." you smiled softly at him while he entered and you walked now to your class alone.
The halls were filled with students running back and forth to their classes while some just accepted their fate of being late.
Far away, you saw Luna, waiving at you, right next to McGonagall's classroom. You had Transfiguration now. And so did Connor and worst, Violet.
How could she do this to you? How could she? She was your friend since you both met on the train. Maybe you two had your ups and downs but that didn't mean that you weren't friends or that she could kiss your boyfriend to get back at you.
As soon as you reach Luna, Violet stares. As if she wanted you to look at what she took away from you.
You ignore her, revealing to Luna what had happened before breakfast.
"Don't worry. I won't let you go back to him." she secures.
The door suddenly opens and everyone goes in. In Transfiguration you sat next to Violet, but obvioulsy she sat next to Connor now that the truth had gone out.
Luna was sat behind you with another blonde girl you didn't know.
"Alright children, settle down." McGonagall speaks in front of the class "Open your books on page 123."
You hear the door creaking, as it usually does but you don't almost have a heart attack by the noise.
As you open your book, you notice a tall figure next to you. You look up, your hands still on your book, and see a boy; brunette, blue eyes, wavy hair, tall and in his Slytherin robes.
"Hey, mind if I sit?" he asks, pointing to your table.
"Ahm, no, sure. I mean, you can sit there." you mess up on your own words.
You had seen him before, he was one of Lorenzo's best friends but he was alone today. Were was the other one?
"Mr. Nott, you're late." McGonagall states, calmly.
"Sorry, professor." he nods and keeps his head down while looking for his book.
"Where's your friend?" the words come out of your mouth before you even have a chance to stop them.
"Mattheo?" he looks at you and smirks, looking back to his book "He's not feeling well. He had too much fun last night and... drank a little too much."
You nod, understanding. Truth is, you actually never talked to Theo or Mattheo. Yes, you were friends with Lorenzo but neither of them ever spoke to you. Did you catch them looking at you at the Great Hall? Loads of times. Did they ever talk to you? No!
Times goes by and you take notes of everything McGonagall says and underline some phrases that might be important.
A feminine giggle suddenly echoes through the class and you stop, knowing who it belong to.
Violet. You didn't need to look back to know it was her. Worst, he was making her laugh.
Not you, with your silly jokes or daily gossip. Him. Because, in the end, she chose him.
You turn back around and Theodore notices your melancholic expression but says nothing.
The way you held your pen, the way you became more serious or the way that you completely lost focus.
He knew that feeling very well.
After that day, Theo became, not only your partner in Transfiguration but your friend. But you didn't felt like this friendship was similar to yours with Enzo or Luna, no, there was something else in there.
Maybe it was the way that he listened to everything you said and remembered the small things. Or the way he laughed at your silly jokes or even threw on worst ones.
After this day you also noticed the way Violet and Connor acted around you. They were always touching each other or kissing and, as much as it disgusted you, you no longer felt intimidated by them. Or you made yourself believe that.
Honestly, you just felt sorry for her. For the things he would do to her. Or maybe not. Maybe you were the problem and she was perfect. Maybe-
"You okay?" Theo woke you up from your thoughts "Y/N, you look a little lost..." he whispered, since you both were in the library studying.
"I'm fine, Theo. I was just... thinking about something. But, uh, where were we?" you smiled it off, shaking your head, trying to change the subject.
"I was doing my part of the assigment and then I asked you something and you froze. Now, I'm going to get another book because these ones suck..." he grabbed the books he brought from different shelves, "I'll be back." he whispered, getting up and leaving.
You watched him go, pencil in your hand, the other one playing with the end of your braid.
Trying to focus again, you see a familiar figure beside you. You didn't need to turn your head around since you recognized the smell of lavender and betrayal the person exaled.
"What are you doing here?" you ask, writing some nonsense in your sheet, pretending to be busy.
"I don't know, Y/N. I just..." Violet sighs and sits next to you "I'm not sorry, for what I did. I know that we are best friends-"
"Are you serious?" she scoffed.
"Violet, you..." you look around and lower your tone "You kissed my boyfriend at a party. And, Merlin knows what else you both have been doing. I would have never done that to you, I mean, what happened to our code? 'Sisters before misters'?" you remember a Muggle thing she thought you.
"It's not like that. He was the one who came up to me. Three months ago."
You had been dating with Connor for the last FIVE months and he has been cheating on you for two?!
"Excuse me? Three months ago?" you were speechless.
"It's not my fault. He came up to me on the night he tried to have sex with you. And he was not very pleased when you said no. He left and I bumped into him in the common room. One thing led to another and..." she lifted her eyebrows, confirming your suspicions.
You opened your mouth duzens of times but nothing came out.
"What?" she asked acting like this was some silly daily gossip and not the most atroucious thing someone had ever done to you.
"I... I don't even want to talk to you, just- Please, go away." you turned your head back to your paper.
"Honey, you have to believe me. It wasn't my fault. Besides, it's not my fault either that you can't keep your boyfriend satisfied... If you don't, someone else will."
"You have been with him for two months!" you raised your voice a little, and some people looked at you both. You also tried to change the subject "What kind of friend does that? You- Just go away, Violet."
"I tried to be nice. And I was actually thinking about-"
"Nice? You acted more like a bitch."
Her expression turned serious but she left before even saying anything, making noise with the chair.
Before you could even recover from this conversation, Theo is already standing next to you, a big book in his hand as he sits, watching Violet leave.
"What happened? What did she told you?"
"I'd rather not talk about it, okay? Did you bring the book?"
"Yeah..." he answered, still not over the subject.
"Good" you take the book from his hands and open it on a random page.
His ocean blue eyes analysed you, looking at every part of you. The way you blinked quickly to avoid tears or how your hand slowly shaked.
"You can talk to me, you know?" he tries.
"Theo, please." you plead, pushing him away. He stood still, but gave in and kept on doing his work.
As the sun went down, students began to leave the library, you and Theo were the only people in there.
"It's getting dark and it's almost dinner time," you grabbed your stuff and closed some books "you're finished there?"
"Well, not yet, but maybe I'll end this tomorrow."
"We need to give this to McGonagall by friday." you put the bag strap on your shoulder.
"Okay... hey, do you wanna sit together at dinner?" a flashback hit you.
The same words came out of your ex-boyfriend's mouth before you two were a thing. You froze for a second but then you thought, what if you and Theo actually were something? Would he ever do to you the same Connor did to you?
The same thing your parents did to each other?
You, to begin with, didn't see Theo like that and, if that was the way every relashionship went, you would be better off alone.
"Uh... actually, I'm having dinner with Luna tonight" you said after a few seconds "I haven't seen her all day... Is it okay with you?"
"Yeah, sure. It´s okay... I actually haven't seen Mattheo either. Probably he spent the whole afternoon locked up with Snape in detention." he chuckled and you did the same.
"Bye, Theo." you showed a soft smile and he did the same.
While on your path to leave the library, you felt his gaze, burning on your back, watching your every step until he couldn't anymore. You then, decided to ignore that... As you did the other times.
New year, new you. Isn't that what they say?
Well, it's official. It's january first of 1997. The Gryffindor common room is buzzing; everyone drinking, singing, dancing and celebrating the new year.
Luna wasn't with you right now - she rarely went to parties like these - and you only went to see the Weasley twins and a few more friends, although Connor was in the same room, with Violet. It has been almost a month since you two were broken up and you couldn't be more happier. You could do everything Connor forbid you to do while you two were together.
You didn't know what time it was but you could tell that was already late and you promised to Luna you would go to your shared dorm as soon as you left the party.
Feeling tired, that's what you did. You said goodbye to your friends, who kept on partying, and left their common room.
As soon as you step out, you are welcomed with the cold and crisp breeze against your face. Wrapping your jacket tightly around yourself, you walked back to the Ravenclaw's common room. The only sounds you could hear were your heels walking on the floor, the breeze rustling through the trees outside and your breathing.
When you turn around after climbing a whole lot of stairs, you see a shadow. Maybe another student.
Who was aparently smoking, near the open archways.
Walking closer to the person, you realize it wasn't a complete stranger. It was Theodore.
"Theo?" he turns around to look at you, hiding his cigarette. "What are you doing outside? It's freezing."
"I needed fresh air. The party downstairs is just crazy, I needed some space."
"Fresh air, you say?" you smile and look at the hand behind his back.
He scoffs and doesn't hide it anymore. He takes a drag from his cigarette in front of you, releasing the smoke after.
"First smoke of the year." he announces "How was the party in the Gryffindorks common room?" he asks, never taking his eyes off of you.
"They're not dorks... Some of them, at least." you cross your arms and step closer to him, staying by in front of him. "It was actually great. And how was your party?"
"Well, Mattheo got drunk before the clock even striked midnight, I have no idea where Pansy or Lorenzo are, I am 100% certain that Draco is passed out on the couch and Blaise must be still greeting his thousands of friends around the room."
"That seems about right." you smiled and looked up at him.
His gaze was so piercing you couldn't even make eye contact for more than 5 seconds. You look away, to the view to your left side, with your heart pounding loudly in your chest.
You tried to ignore it, knowing that if you didn't, things would not end up well.
"Well, I gotta go. It's late and I promised Luna I'd return before 1 o'clock." you said a bit more loudly now, to hide the sound of your heart.
"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he asks, interested.
"Probably not. Why the sudden interest?" your smile faltered but that didn't seem to make Theo back away either.
"Don't we have a project or something to do? Maybe we could finish it and then head to Hogsmead." he suggests, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"I don't think we have anything..."
"Great, then we can go to Hogsmead. Have a butterbeer and walk around. I'll pick you up at 3."
"I don't-" you try but he doesn't even let you think straight.
Truth was, you were so afraid to make the same mistake all over again that you wanted to simply disappear and stay away from boys. Theo knew that, although you still haven't accept it.
"Do you have anything else better to do?" you open your mouth but he speaks again "Besides locking yourself in your room with your face in a book?" that caught you off guard.
"With that said, I'll pick you up at 3." he drops the cigarette, stepping on it with his foot. "Happy new year." he walks through the hall, turns on the corner and leaves, disappearing through the dark and shadows.
You stay still for a few seconds, still processing what had just happened. In a matter of seconds, Theodore had managed to change, somehow the weather. The cold breeze from before had disappeared and you felt very warm. Like you were burning.
You touch your cheeks and forehead with your fingers and you can conclude that you were in fact burning. Turning on your heels, you continue the path you had inicially started, to your common room.
You mumble the password as soon as you reach your destination and enter, seeing that there were no ravenclaws at the common room anymore and the new year decorations gone.
Some of them might had went to another house party and the others might be in bed already.
Climbing down the stairs, you make way to your shared dorm with Luna. You open the door softly, not wanting to make any sound and find the blonde girl reading one of her magazines.
"Hello, Y/N. How was the party?" she smiles softly at you, putting her magazine down slowly, on her nightstand.
"It was incredrible! You should have come!" you sit on the edge of her bed, smothing the sheets.
She smiles, watching you take off your shoes.
"Well, it was a cold night. And the ravenclaws had quite some fun in here too."
"No, however my window was opened and I could hear them screaming songs from the common room. And we are significantly far from there, remember." she places her hands on her lap as she looks at you with one of her wise looks. "Did something else happened at the party? You are quiet tonight..." she states.
"I just... well... I bumped into Theodore as I was coming back here," you admit, leaning back against one of the four posters on her bed that were supporting your back. "and he asked me to go to Hogsmead with him tomorrow."
"He actually didn't let me say no. It was more like a 'You're coming and end of discussion' sort of thing."
"And are you happy with that? I think you should go. You should go, have fun and forget about everything for just a few moments." Luna suggests.
"It's just that... What if..." you sigh, not knowing how to put your feelings in words of your own "He's my friend, Luna. And I have no intentions of ever going back to Connor but it's been one month. Only. I don't feel like doing this all over again."
"Falling in love?" she questions, in a muted tone. You don't say anything because deep deep down, she was right. What if, let's say, you did go out with Theo. And what if right now he was an incredible person but in the next months, he turn out to be just like him?
"Maybe he's just being nice. I never talked with him, but he doesn't seem like a bad person."
"When have you ever met someone and thought they were a bad person?" you ask with an ironic tone. She looks at you before responding, her voice in a soft whisper:
You look away for a few seconds when you realised she wasn't actually joking this time.
"Look, but maybe Theodore is just being nice. I know that you see him as a friend and that is okay. No one is forcing you to date him or anything. And he won't either, of that I'm sure." she holds your hand. "Now, if you really do not want to go on a walk with him tomorrow, you don't have to go, even if he said it the way you described. That's completely up to you." she assures.
You think for a moment. As Theo mentioned earlier, you really didn't have anything better to do tomorrow.
"Okay, fine." you show a shy smile "I'll go with him tomorrow. But just because I have nothing better to do." Luna nods, smiling as well.
"I'm happy to hear that. Now let's go to bed. I'm tired of having to wait for you to come back." you giggle as you walk back to your own bed, changing your clothes.
You take a few steps and enter the bathroom, where you take your makeup off and wash your face and teeth. You get back to your bed, that was right beside Luna's and lay on it, pulling the covers over yourself.
Eventually, after you and Luna have another conversation where the topic changed in a blink of an eye, you finally fell asleep.
You stare at the mirror in front of you. Wearing a simple dark red sweatshirt, a pair of jeans, a dark brown leather jacket and your favourite boots, you were ready for the day ahead.
You turn around, fixing your hair as Luna stares at you silently and with her arms crossed, she analyses your outfit.
She lets out a small oh! and runs to her trunk, handing you a checkered beige scarf, red and green.
"Now you're ready." she nods.
You look at the mirror again. You did look good, but looking this good didn't mean that you were officially trying to make a good impression, did it?
"Thanks..." you murmur as the thoughts are still in your head.
Luna senses your silence and as she always did, she reads your mind.
"You don't need to go see him if you don't want to, okay?" she remembers "You can literally look at him and think 'nope, not today' and turn back around, he's going to understand."
"That's okay, I... Nevermind, I'll be going." you state, before opening the door "I'll see you in a few hours." Luna smiles and waves a little goodbye as you leave.
You walk down the stairs of the dorms to reach the common room and you see Violet. Not even wanting to ruin your day, you keep going, ignoring her curious gaze.
You open the door to exit the common room and, as you walk out, the cold breeze meets your face and you wrap your jacket tightly around you, covering your mouth with the scarf as it was an old habit.
Turning left, you meet Theodore, already standing against the wall, hands in the pockets of his jacket, waiting for you.
"Hey, thought you weren't coming after all." he pushes himself away from the wall to slowly walk towards you.
"Yeah..." you lift your neck to leave your mouth outside so your voice doesn't come out muffled "Sorry if I'm late." he nods and stands by your side.
For the first minutes, you both walk in a complete silence. You didn't even know what to say.
As you leave the castle and head to Hogsmeade, you lean over him. Due to the cold but also because Hogsmeade was packed today. Lots of people were wandering around the place, so you stood near Theodore.
As you approach the Three Broomsticks, Theo opens the door for you, lets you enter first and then he enters the place. Again, lots of students were there, drinking the so famous butterbeer.
You sat on a table near the window, Theo always behind you. As you sit, an older woman walks to your table, asks what you wanted to drink and walks away.
"Aren't you cold with that?" he points out to your jacket.
"No, I'm okay." you smiled, playing with the edges of your scarf. Theo notices but he doesn't say anything. With time, the conversation flows and you realise how funny and gentle he was, again. He always made some jokes, taking a simple smile or a giggle from you.
Once it was time to pay, you both walked up to the front counter. You searched through your jeans for a few coins to pay for your butterbeer but Theo already had a bill in his hand.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his left hand supporting his jaw on the counter.
"I was..." you take out another coin "...taking out my money so that I could pay my beer."
"Nonsense, I'm paying." these words never came out of Connor's mouth.
"What? No, I- Theo, it's okay. I have money." you tried.
"I'm not going to let you pay for a butterbeer. End of discussion." he answered as he handed the money to the same woman who served you two. Your hand slowly reaches into your back pocket again as your let your coins fall back there.
When you left the Three Broomsticks, was still early outside, so you both decided to walk around to see some of the stores.
Hogsmeade was your favourite place because your favourite bookstore was there. As soon as you spot it, you wasted no time.
"Can we go there?" you ask calmly. Theo looks at the store and nods, walking in.
You rub your hands together as you walk in due to the cold and wander around the store.
You greet the owner and keep walking, Theo always following you and at some point, interested in some books.
When you spot your favourite book, you grab it and tug his jacket sleeve, calling his attention.
"This is my favourite book of all times, from all the books I've ever read." you say, holding 'Little Women'.
"Isn't that a muggle book?"
"Yes, but all the good books are from muggles." you explain.
"What's it about?" he takes the book gently from your hands and turns it around, looking at it.
You smile as he asks, biting your bottom lip.
Hearing silence but not your voice, he looks at you again.
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you.
"It's uh... It follows the story of four sisters in the 19th century and they have to deal with a lot of things..." there was so much more you wanted to say but no one had ever stared at you that way when you talked about your books.
Another thing Connor didn't do was hearing you talk about books. He gave you a disgusted face the first time you mentioned a book and that was all you needed to know.
"Like, girls stuff?" he handed you back the book. You chuckle.
"No, silly. It's about their lives." you put the book back and whisper-gasp as you see Jane Austen books "I didn't know they had more muggle books in here!"
"Let me guess, more books about girls talking about girls stuff and their lives?" he leans his shoulder against one of the shelves.
You stare at him with a soft smile and shake your head.
"No... Well, kinda." then, you held Pride and Prejudice along side with Sense and Sensibility and told him what the books were about. He never interrupted you once, or yawned or rolled his eyes as Connor used to.
He actually listened. He opened his mouth as a shocking information about the books came out of your lips and he even said some hm's.
After telling him basically what every Jane Austen book was about and reading the plot of new ones, sadly, you left the store with none in your hands. You decided that you could buy them at a muggle store and after all, your money was runing out by this time of the year - mostly due to Connor's wishes to go to expensive restaurants and the gifts you bought him, things that reminded you of him.
You visited other stores but neither of you bought anything and decided that since dinner time was getting closer, you'd head back to the castle.
On the way back, you were much more confident and comfortable around Theodore, laughing now freely at his jokes and talking more.
As you enter the castle, a few students stare at you and Theo, giving you all types of looks, but you don't seem to care, too involved on something he was tellling you.
Approaching the Great Hall, you spot your blonde best friend waiting for you. Seeing you were still with Theo, she smiles and you notice, but he doesn't, stil involved.
Behind Luna, you see Connor approaching. Violet by his side as she was the luckiest girl in the world to have a guy like him.
You stop and Theodore immediately looks at you, analyses the situation and few seconds later, he cracks it, as if it was a code.
Connor was staring at you as if you had done something wrong and you knew that look very well.
"You can sit with me and the boys tonight, if you want. Bring Luna." he suggests, your gaze still not off of your ex.
"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea..." I look at him and back at Connor. Afraid that someone made a big scene out of this, I decide to leave.
Understanding my actions, Theo holds my arm gently and I look quickly at his hand and then at his eyes.
His ocean blue eyes met mine and we stood like that for a few seconds. I could've swear that I read them, they showed expression and emotion. He wanted me to stay.
Looking back, all I saw in Connor's eyes was the pure feeling of rage and lust, nothing else.
We mantain the eye contact for far more then needed and I decide to break it before something happens in the middle of the hall.
"I have to go..." I murmur. "Thanks, for today." I end, pushing his hand gently away from my arm and walking towards Luna. I sense him walking behind me but he respects my decision and walks into the Great Hall, towards the Slytherin table. Luna looks at me curious and I hold her arm, trying to pull her inside but I feel another hand holding my arm strongly.
"What the fuck was that?" I look back to see Connor. I hold his hand and try to free myself "You didn't let me touch you but you let him?" he emphasizes with a disgusting tone and furious gaze, leaving Violet behind.
"No, you're my girlfriend, you get that? No other man is allowed to touch you, let alone speak to you!" he raises his voice and people turn their faces to us. Even some people inside the Great Hall stare at us now.
"Connor, stop!" not even Luna knows what's going on.
"You bitch!" he pushes me against the wall "You think you can disrespect me like that?"
"Don't you fucking touch me." I pull him away "I'm not your girlfriend anymore, we talked about this." I lower my voice and take two steps to my right, bringing him away from the rest of the students "You cheated on me."
"So? What gives you the right to walk around like that? Especially with Nott?"
"That's none of your bussiness because I'm not yours anymore! So get the fuck away from me." you state and he narrows his eyes, his fist ready to strike.
Before Connor can even open his mouth or raise his hand, Theo is already there and he pushes Connor against the wall with force.
"She said to back the fuck off." he repeats.
"Oh, so you're with him now?" he scoffs, laughing but only out of rage.
"Get the fuck away from her before you wind up in the hospital wing, mate." Theo warns again.
"Who do you think you are?" Connor spits the words in his face and just like that, everything happens so fast.
Theo punches him once. Connor falls back but gets up again too quick, yelling furiously. Theo strikes again.
Luna takes your side. You're paralized. She's holding your arm and she slowly takes you away from them.
Theo sees you walking away and he falters. Connor hits him.
After that, everything is just a blur. Tears forming at your eyes and desesperate sobs come out as Luna holds you all the way to the dorm you both shared.
As she closes the door, you break down. You tell her everything he did to you and how much you stayed. She didn't judge you, how could she? She held you until your sobs became quieter and all of your tears dried.
"Y/N! You can't stay in bed the rest of your life..." Luna sits on your bed, seeing you curled up on the sheets.
"No! You must leave this room! I'm glad you told me what happened between you and Connor and I'm sorry for what happen and I feel terrible for not noticing earlier but you can't stay here forever." she says quickly in one breath, interrupting you. You have never seen her like this "You need to move on, as you were doing before all of this. Of course a lot of people are talking about it but some will have enough sense to not talk directly to you about it. Now, Theo as been going crazy, he needs to see you. I can't even stand him anymore." she admits.
To upset Luna this bad, Theodore must have been a pain in her ass, you thought.
And the fact that Luna was the most patient person you knew, said a lot.
"Okay..." you surrender, sitting on your bed, actually scared of her "I'll go out."
"Thank you. And I'm sorry for yelling." she says now more calm. She grabs her towel and heads to the bathroom to take a warm and pacific shower.
You take a deep breath and get out of bed. Even though you had zero intentions of leaving, Luna was going to hex you if she saw you weren't out of bed by the time she got back so you decide to put on something, fix your hair and get out of the dorm, to get some air.
What you didn't expect, was whatever was causing the yelling at the entrance of the common room.
"You can't barge in here like this!" an older student, perhaps a Ravenclaw prefect raised his voice.
"Excuse me? I haven't heard from my friend since yesterday. I need to make sure she's fine." you recognize Theo's voice, he was yelling at the older guy.
You walk down the stairs quickly, to avoid more confusion and walk up in the middle of the crowd.
"This is the last time I'll ask you, Nott-"
"Get your hands off of me." Theo shakes his hand off of his shoulder.
"Theo? I'm here!" you raise your voice, his eyes immediately meet yours and everything goes silent.
"Well, there's your friend. Now, please leave." the prefect insists.
"Hey, that's okay, we're going." you handle the situation, holding Theo's arm as he was about to jump on the guy.
You lead him out of Ravenclaw's common room and the same cold breeze meets your face once again.
You let go of his arm slowly and he looks at you.
"How have you been? I haven't heard from you since..." he stops, silence fills the hall and there is no need in finishing the sentence "I think I've been driving Luna crazy."
"You have... She almost hexed me today. Said you've been bothering her." you remember, a soft smile growing on your lips.
"I have been really worried with you. You practically disappeared yesterday..." as you both walk together through the halls, a few students look at you, pity and curiosity filling their expressions.
You ignore them and keep looking at Theo and the path in front of you.
"I know... I needed to be alone." you admit, placing your hands on the pockets of your sweatshirt.
Theo looks at you with the same look he had just like when you two were at the library and Violet talked with you.
He grabs your arm, slowly and you let him pull you.
He leads you into an empty corridor and you lean your back against the wall.
"Has Connor... Y/N, for how long as he been like that?" he questions, straight to the point.
"No, just... Please, answer me. Has he hurt you before?"
Only silence fills the halls. Your expression is more than enough to confirm his suspicions.
"He hits you? How- When..." he seems taken back from your silent confirmation. He walks back and forth for a second, as if controlling himself.
"What else has he done to you?"
You think for a second, imagining how to put into words and explain to the brunette the things Connor did to you.
You open your mouth a few times but nothing comes out.
Theo is still looking at you, waiting for an answer.
"Why? Why did you... How could you stay for that long? Why didn't you reach for help?" he asks, still in a low tone "You could've said something to Luna. Or to Lorenzo. They would've helped..." you don't doubt it.
"My mom and dad have a similar relatioship. They cheat on each other, they drink, they do drugs, they hit and threaten and... They, overall, do a lot to each other and I grew up with that. Watching it. Because, at the end of the day, they could've try to kill each other but they'd always go back. My dad got my mom flowers or a fancy dinner every time." you start "So, I thought love was like that. When I started to date Connor, he was normal, as any other guy. And then the threats came, he started to drink, he didn't let me go out with my friends or have boy friends and even if I had, he made me stop seeing them at all; And for a moment, I thought that I had done something to deserve it because my mom always got my dad upset and I-" a sob comes out and you breath for a second, forcing the tears to stop coming "I don't want this, Theo." you admit "If this is what love is, I don't want it." you stopped, thinking if you should tell him or not the rest, but you can't take it anymore and another sob comes out. You decide to stop there.
He instantly hugs you, holding you in his arms as you silently cry. He caresses your hair, supporting in chin on the top of your head, not letting go.
You stay like that for a few moments; you couldn't even tell how long it had passed.
"It's okay. He's not going to hurt you anymore." he reassures you as you let go, still holding your face in his palms gently.
"Where is he?" you murmur, as you remember you didn't know how their fight had ended.
"He's at the hospital wing. I said I'd sent him there and I did." you let go of him.
"You beat him?" you blink several times.
No words were needed for him to understand your action of letting him go. You take a step back and he gives you the space.
"I would never lay a finger on you, Y/N."
You looked at him, his expression and tone showed no trembling or lying.
But could you trust him as you did with Connor?
Connor had finally got out of the hospital wing and was expelled from Hogwarts. He couldn't torment you anymore.
After that talk, you and Theo grew really close and spent a lot of time together. You were still recovering from everything that had happened and Theo respected your time, giving you space.
As time went by, you were finally happy again and could live your life normally. You started partying again, hanging out with your friends and started to dress up again as you used to.
Now, you felt good. Better than ever.
On one of your many walks around the gardens with Theodore, your favourite places out of the whole school, you realised something.
Since you broke up with Connor, Theo had always been there for you. Obviously, some of your friends did the same, but Theo wasn't your friend. Was he?
Well, of course he was your friend but you start to wonder, what if he was more than your friend?
Theo was the exact oposite of Connor; he was sweet, he made silly jokes to make you laugh, he memorized every single little thing about you - even the annoying habits.
On one morning, as you were having breakfast with Luna as you normally would, a second year comes up to you with a big box.
"Who's that for?!" you ask as you wipe your lips from the juice you had.
"You." he answers "Came like this." he places it in front of you, other students help him with the box.
"Thank you!" you smiled, getting up and opening the box. Luna also gets up to see what's inside.
"Who's it from?" she questions.
"'Don't... know." you stop as soon as you open the box and take a look inside.
A few books were at the top.
The Jane Austen books you told a certain boy about a few weeks ago.
You told him once. And he remembered it.
Inside, there were more books, some clothes you mentioned you liked but had already spent all your money on other things, a beautiful bouquet of your favourite flowers followed by a note at the top.
With a handwriting you had become familiar with for the past few weeks, was written:
"I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you."
You smiled at the note and looked at Luna who, at this point was also smiling, knowing who sent that box.
You look directly at the Slytherin table, searching for the italian with the blue eyes.
He was already looking at you, with a soft smile in his face watching your reaction. You smiled back and got up, walking up to him.
Pretending not to notice his friends screaming and laughing as he gets up to meet you, you keep going, until you meet him near the end of his table.
"You sent me that?" you asked, already knowing the answer.
"I did. Thought I'd make you a surprise..." he grins, holding your waist with both hands, staring at your eyes.
You both stay like that for a second, forgeting the rest of the students in the Great Hall.
Theo looks at you, in a way Connor had never, and then to your lips.
You sense he was about to kiss you and you steped back, watching his reaction. You would never let a guy treat you again like Connor had, so you wanted to test him before anything.
He immediately lets go of you, giving you space.
"You okay?" he asks, letting go of your waist.
You nod, taking a step forward and hugging him, standing on your tip toes. He immediately wraps his arms around your waist.
"Thank you, Theo." you whisper in his ear. You don't see but you know he's smiling.
You let go, after a few seconds and he does the same.
"You got something to do today? Besides classes?"
"Well, I'd like to see what you've got me with some detail. The books and the clothes."
"There's a party tonight, bella. Slytherin common room. Will I see you there?"
You think about it, making him anxious.
The halls were silent. The party was happening in the Slytherin common room, though the music couldn't be heard from the outside due to the same old spell students used to prevent people to hear what's going on inside certain rooms.
Luna was by your side. You had come together.
As you walk through the dungeons, your heart beated harder with each step you took.
Mostly because of the thought of seeing Theo again. For the past few weeks he had really become more than a friend to you, even though it took you some time to see and admit it.
You walk through the stone wall after whispering the password, going down a few stairs, Luna always holding your arm, and finally reach the common room.
Opening the stone door, you're greeted with green lights and a room filled with students dancing and drinking, the smell of fire whisky mixed with other drinks invades your nostrils.
You smile at the view and take a step further, walking in.
After wandering around the common room for a bit, grabbing some drinks and greeting some folks, you take Luna to the dance floor, where you both dance to every song.
Your white mini skirt was rising a little but you always fixed it down. You also had a brown top, now that the weather was getting warmer and the winter was finally over.
"So, you came." a male voice pronunces behind you. You turn around, immediately knowing who it was.
"I said I would..." you smile, looking at the brunette. He smiles back and takes a sip of his drink.
"I'm going to grab another drink..." Luna smiles at you, knowing exactly what she's doing as she steps away from the dance floor.
As you were going to turn around to look at Theo once again, Lorenzo walks up to you.
"Y/N, how are you? I haven't seen you since... well, since breakfast." you laugh.
"Am not." he scoffs as he looks back, kinda afraid to.
"What are you doing?" you ask, taking a step closer to Theodore.
"Running away from some girls. Are they gone?" he asks casually.
You look around and see two blondes pointing to him.
"Nope, they're coming." he looks back, afraid and waves his hand, going away.
Theo laughs at the situation.
The music keeps going and you keep dancing, Theo watching you.
"Nothing." his eyes lock on yours.
"Are you gonna dance with me or...?"
"You want me to? I got some dance moves to show off." he gestures with his hands. You chuckle and you both start dancing.
At first, he was really silly about it but then he started to dance like a normal person and you two had fun.
When a more animated song comes in, more students step onto the dance floor, what seemed nearly impossible since it was already so packed.
You hold Theo's arm gently as people pushed you both together.
"Sorry..." you apologize as someone pushes you closer.
He didn't answer that. All he did, was look at you. With something diferent in his eyes.
Not hunger, not lust. Something you couldn't quite understand.
He intercales his gaze between your lips and your eyes, holding your waist gently but firmly, keeping you back from being pushed again.
He leans in, giving you plently of time to back out which you don't. One of your hands stay on his chest and the other one meets the back of his neck, pushing him towards you.
Suddenly, his lips crash into yours and the whole world disappears, it's just you and him now.
His thumb caresses your cheek as your lips move in sync, his hand laying on your lower back. You put your arms around his neck now.
The kiss wasn't rough but it wasn't soft either. It was filled with all of the things you both meant to say for a few time but never did.
As you grew familiar with now, actions speak louder than any words.
I once believed love would be black and white,
You break the kiss, with air running out of your lungs and look at him.
He softly smiles at you and you do the same, widening your smile.
You could say you were finally happy.
Eventually, you and Theo started to date. Sixth year at Hogwarts was over and everyone went back to their houses.
You and Theo never lost contact during summer. He always sent you letters and you wrote him back.
Aware of your family's issues, he invited you to spend a whole month with him in Italy, in his home town and after many days thinking, you decided to go.
Your parents didn't even care, they still had their own fights and issues to solve.
You packed your bags and as you left your house, Theo was at the end of your house entrance, outside.
To sum up everything very quickly, he helped you with your bags, and later, you both used the Floo Powder. In a few seconds, you were in Italy.
You spent the whole month with Theo and eventually, he asked you to be his girlfriend at the end of one day, in the middle of the beach in Tuscany - yes, he took you all around Italy and you didn't complained about it because, well, it's Italy.
By september, you were back at Hogwarts for your last year. You and Theo didn't bother do hide your relationship since everybody practically knew about you two. His friends became your friends too and Luna, well, she could befriend a flower if needed.
Your relationship has been going on for three months, almost four, and yet, you didn't had had sex with Theo.
It's not like he ever made you feel like you should've and it was an obligation; no, on the contrary. Every time you two were hanging out and a hug turned into a kiss, which later evolved to a hotter makeout session, Theo never pressured you into doing anything.
At the moment, you were on Theo's dormitory. His friends were in the Slytherin common room and you two decided to stay in Theo's dorm to get some privacy. As you got there, he wastes no time, closes the door and kisses you fiercely.
Your back hits the door with a thud and your arms fly over to Theo's neck as instinct. One hand holds the back of his neck and the other grabs his shirt, pulling him closer.
You let out a soft moan as your back hits the door and you feel Theodore smiling between the kiss. He holds your hip, holding you in place as he keeps kissing you.
Suddenly, you feel his hand on your tight, as if pulling it up so you did understood what he meant and he picked you up, you wrap your legs around him after. He breaks the kiss, catching some air as he kisses your jaw and your neck, leading you to the bed.
Now, you never did more than a steamy make out because you'd always back out afraid and nervous but this time something was diferent, as if you actually felt ready.
Theo layed you on the bed, getting on top of your, his elbows supporting his whole weight and he still sucked on your neck as you scratch his hair.
He gave one last kiss on the hickey he left on your neck and kissed your cheek, laying beside you.
"What are you doing?" you ask, turning your body to face him.
"I..." he felt confused "I don't to pressure you into doing anything, amore. I'm okay just doing things like this, I'll wait for you." he points.
"No, uh... we can keep going." you gestured.
"You're sure?" he props on his elbows "We don't need to do this if you don't want to."
"No, I do." you smiled, leaning closer. He captures your lips in a kiss again, softer this time.
"We can stop at anytime..." he said in between kisses, you nod.
You kiss for a few more moments until he reaches for the hem of shirt, playing with it.
"Can I?" he whispered. You only nod.
He takes your shirt off and than he also takes his shirt off.
"You're so beautiful, tesoro..." he goes back to kissing your neck again, getting lower and lower each time.
As the night gets darker, the dorm becomes filled with soft moans and silent kisses, alongside with the sound of rumpled sheets.
In the end, you rest your head on Theo's chest as he draws soft circles with this fingers on your shoulder.
You look up at him, his blue eyes meet you once again.
"What is it?" he whispers.
"Thank you." you say "For waiting for me." you smile softly.
"Always, amore." he kisses the top of your head, slowly and gently.
And I can still see it all (in my head),
Back and forth, from New York (sneaking in your bed),
I once believed love would be (burning red),
this took me SO long, im not even kiding :(( but, what matters is that it's out hihi
hope u guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing <3
@theosdoll @laineypooh @govnder @nottsnymph @parseltonguekisses @redeemingvillains @simp-for-love @cipheress-to-k-pop @theosbae @pottersfia @rafesslxt @kelstey
