In Dealing with Exomemories, Especially Exotrauma
Cross-posted from my dreamwidth entry. Link directly in the title.
In the time spent in the alterhuman community, in particular to the therian/kin that dealt with exomemories from other lives, I've come to observe something critical--many carried various exotrauma.
My belief is that a part of the reason reincarnation happens is to provide us a chance to seek closure in our other lives or heal the wounds we carry. Perhaps we are tied to this cycle due to unfinished business, whether positive or negative.
I don’t identify as the eastern ocean dragon of my past; thus, it is my kardiatype. However, I have memories, instincts, likes, and dislikes based on that dragon. There are pains I've felt that I'm still trying to determine if they might be connected to that dragon's own loss, but they don’t hurt me as much, as I am able to observe from a distance. However, this comes down to the identification and separation of the part of the self. From the beginning of my realization of being nonhuman, I already identified as who I am: the dream dragon.
Perhaps this can help others as well, in finding that separation and distance. This is also considering that we have people within the community who can interact with their other lives as separate beings. This couples with the Chinese belief in spirits and souls (hun and po)[1] and how transmigration works with each incarnation: you only move on with a part of it, leaving the rest behind. Essentially, one is different from their past or other selves (as time can be seen as non-linear to some).
Another key thing is finding closure. Perhaps the various memories are vying for attention because of unresolved loose ends.
Writing down stories, or making any sort of creation work for each and every one of those lives might help. I believe there is truth and fact in fiction. Many alterhuman that I've observed use writing as a form of interaction with their selves. I do it too, finding temporary joy in worlds where I can be myself, and it serves as an outlet to work through some inner conflicts or other dissent. Memories become somewhat easier to handle once I put them down as something concrete that I can work with. If emotions are causing suffering, mindfulness is a good practice to counter that—acknowledge and accept the emotions, and then learn to lessen their impact on one's being. This deals with more psychological territory, but the same techniques and methods are not restricted to a single subject area. There are numerous resources available, but here's a small excerpt:
Ride out Waves of Emotions--Be Mindful
Normalize Emotions
Observe
Anticipate
Emotions will get bigger/intensify
Visualize
Ride/surf the emotion wave/tide. Ride it out instead of blocking it. Let it flow. Gently let go; it's okay to release the grasp.
Shift focus; practice mindfulness; notice the physical surroundings. Be attentive and curious.
Be Nonjudgemental
Acceptance
Additionally, having something grounding or anchoring is good. Anything, even a stuffed toy, a pet, a place, another sapient being, or even things beyond—that's a bit like speaking of faith, ironic considering I'm discussing grounding in the unseen and forces beyond.
All of these can to be utilized together. Comfort allows room to break down, grounding offers a point to return to should the mind becomes lost in the memories and emotions. While all the other exercises allow confronting the memories, they help in working through emotions by offering a new perspective.
There is also something many East Asians do—they pay homage to their ancestor, a common practice is setting up ancestral tablets or spirit tablets. Offerings and prayers are made to these tablets as a way to connect with and show respect to one's ancestors. For me personally, I have seen this practice extend to one's own other lives.
In the end, the mind is what matter. Manifestation--your will to see your other lives' chapters be closed.
I wish everyone all the best in finding that inner peace.
[1]Reninger, Elizabeth. "Hun & Po Ethereal & Corporeal Soul In Taoism." Learn Religions, Feb. 8, 2021, learnreligions.com/hun-and-po-in-taoism-and-chinese-medicine-3182553.
