#future headcanons

You hadn't had the chance to speak to either Ethan or Damiano, they had gotten home so late from their music video shoot and after a certain hour, it hadn't seemed worth staying up until they got back to the house. This wasn't the kind of revelation that should be shared after 1am, when they had been in a loud, energizing environment for an entire day. You would give them time to unwind from the sensory overload and maybe by the time you woke up, you would have the right thing to say.

You had deposited the 7 plastic devices into the bottom of the bathroom bin, immediately covering it with scrunched-up pieces of clean toilet paper, some cotton balls and a few strings of floss. Then you had climbed into the large bed on your own, falling asleep.

When you woke up, there was a second body in the bed. There were many mornings where you ignored the day beckoning and just curled in closer to Ethan. You would usually doze off again, content with your place in the world.

But you pushed back from this temptation and rolled away from your sleeping boyfriend. You got up, beginning the search for Damiano.

He was in the kitchen - you guessed he hadn't been awake for long, his hair was sticking up in all directions and he was preoccupied with buttering some toast. There was a smell of ginger thick in the air.

You took the opportunity to sneak up behind him, linking your arms around him and caressing his bare chest. He blew a kiss in your direction and you let your lips explore over his skin.

You didn't want to move, you didn't want to open your mouth yet. You wanted to commit this to memory, before everything changed.

"I missed you." You said.

"I missed you more. How's your tummy feeling? I've made you some ginger tea 'cause I know how that helps when you get your motion sickness on planes."

You pressed your forehead into his skin, not responding to his gesture to the steaming teapot. You tried to gather all of your courage.

"I have to tell you something…"

Something in your tone made him immediately alert and he turned around to face you. There was concern clear in his eyes as he studied your expression, pushing some hair back from your brow.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"You hate my new haircut, don't you?"

"No, why would I hate it? It's shorter but I still have something to tug on when needed. But it's not… this is not about your hair."

"The new tattoo." He said and you moved out of his embrace, sliding up onto the counter to sit out the rest of his guessings. "I've done it, I've finally found the one that's too far and you hate it."

You shook your head, prepared to tell him how much you enjoyed the minimalist design of a chair that had been permanently etched onto the skin of his thigh a month ago. He had worn the goofiest smile on his face as he presented it to you, proudly offering 'take a seat, ladies'. You and Ethan had laughed hysterically at that and it was agreed that this was the perfect tattoo for Damiano - summing up his dorky sense of humour.

"I should have listened to Vic when she said I didn't need another joke tattoo, but I-..."

"Dami, stop. It's not about your tattoo or anything on your body." You reached for his hands before he could spiral off into any other tangents. "It's me."

He stopped, staring straight into your eyes and you squeezed his hands. You took in a shaky breath, feeling like you could laugh or cry.

"I'm pregnant."

He seemed to be speechless, a feat you had never been able to pull off in the past five years of dating him. His mouth was hanging open, the gravity of the situation clearly not lost on him. He didn't look happy or upset, for the moment he was just overwhelmed by the revelation.

It was the first time you had said this fact aloud - you hadn't even typed it out in a message yet.

The assistant that you had sent to the pharmacy hadn't asked any questions about why you needed the tests. When they handed you the bag of goods, you had asked her to keep this between the two of you and she had mimed a zipper being pulled shut across her lips.

It was real for you now as well - you had breathed oxygen into it and now it could walk into reality. It was exhilarating, something brand new that the three of you had never really prepared for. 

"This is amazing." He said, coming toward you to smack an enthusiastic kiss onto your lips before throwing his arms around you. "I can't believe it. A baby. This is the best news ever." 

"Yeah, it's definitely big news."

"When did you find out?" He asked.

"Well, I realised that I was late last week but I didn't wanna freak out, 'cause I've never been the most regular. But then with all of the nausea I've had the past few days - I just kinda had a feeling, you know? So last night, I sent Gianna to the pharmacy and I made her buy seven, 'cause everyone says that you shouldn't one hundred percent trust those things. But every single one came back the same. So, last night, I found out last night." You said. "I didn't wanna say anything 'til I was more certain and then, I wasn't gonna just send it in the group chat."

"No, no, you're right on that." He said, still grinning widely. He caressed your cheek and brought you in for another kiss. "A baby, this is gonna be amazing. We're gonna be parents."

"You're not scared? We hadn't exactly planned for this. I mean, I know we figured it was an inevitability when we ditched rubbers and everything. But we hadn't really sat down and decided that we were gonna do it right now. And now here we are, we are going to be parents."

"Yeah, it's amazing, it's exciting. Don't be scared baby, you're gonna be an amazing mum."

"Every aspect of our lives is gonna change, we don't have anything that a baby needs. There's a frickin' stripper pole in our lounge room." You said.

"Hey, that is a piece of exercise equipment. It's only a stripper pole when someone is stripping on it."

"Which you did two nights ago…"

He smiled, looking away for a wistful moment. "Oh yeah. What can I say? You guys were feeding me rosé, you know how slutty pink wine makes me.

"But listen to me, we've been through a lot of changes together…" He said, taking both of your hands in his. "We've been broke nobodies together, we've been at ridiculous, unimaginable heights together, we bought a house together - all these things that seemed so impossible and then we just fuckin' did 'em. So this- this is just the next adventure for the three of us.

"And no matter what changes, there's one thing that will always be the same and that's how I feel for you." He kissed the backs of your hands one after the other, his thumbs caressing over your knuckles. "I love you, I love you so fuckin' much and I wanna do this with you.  

"We can make an incredible family. Don't you think so?"

You nodded, smiling as excited butterflies swarmed your stomach. "Yeah, so we're gonna be parents. That's, like, so grown up. Are we adult enough for that?"

He shrugged. "Sure, we can be."

"A baby." You said, your voice getting thicker as you felt tears prickling at your eyes.

He put his arms around you and you kissed him, feeling your happiness overflowing. You wanted to stay like this forever - it was a rush similar to when you had first fallen in love with him and Ethan, daunting yet invigorating.

"Oh my God." You said, your mind racing as the smile on your face only got bigger.

"Oh my God." Damiano repeated.

"No, oh my God."

"What are you two Valley Girls omg-ing about?" Ethan asked, coming down the stairs, looking slightly perturbed to be out of bed. "Is that ginger tea?"

Damiano sniffed, blinking rapidly and clearing his throat before speaking. "Yes love, let me get you some…"

"Good morning hun." Ethan came towards where you sat on the bench. Before giving you a typical greeting kiss, he furrowed his brow and took a longer look at you. "Why do you look like you're about to cry? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, not at all." You dabbed beneath your eyes, sniffing back the threatening tears.

"Here you go, my love." Damiano held out a steaming mug, keeping his head low and sniffing again.

Instead of taking the drink, Ethan grabbed Damiano's chin and pushed it back, forcing the other man to look him in the eye. "Hang on, why are you crying? What did I miss?"

You met Damiano's eye and saw how he was ready to burst. You drew in a shaky breath and turned to Ethan, reaching for his hand.

"Baby, hi baby."

"Hi honey." He said, giving you a critical look.

"I have something to tell you." You grabbed his hand and squeezed it, trying to steady yourself. "I'm pregnant."

His mouth fell open and the scowl immediately disappeared from his face. He didn't say anything, instead he backed up a step and then crouched down, both hands going over his mouth. He looked up at you and you could see tears already brimming there. This was enough to stop you from holding back and you began to cry freely.

"We're having a baby?" He asked, his voice quiet.

You nodded, laughing through your tears. "Yes, we're gonna have a baby."

His eyes were incredibly wide as he looked over to Damiano. "A baby?"

"You're gonna be a dad."

"We're gonna be dads?"

Damiano laughed as well and stooped down beside Ethan, planting his hands on his shoulders to give him a playful jostle. "We're gonna be dads."

Ethan grabbed Damiano and pulled him into an embrace that ended with the two of them landing on the ground. They remained holding one another - the sounds of laughter and some blasphemous phrases.

You put your hands to your head, overwhelmed and unsure of what to do with your emotions.

"I don't know how to be a dad." Ethan said, sitting up.

"Oh, who does?" Damiano gave a dismissive flap of his hands. "You didn't know how to win Eurovision, but you did that, didn't you?"

"This is quite different from that, Dami. Not a fitting comparison, oh at all."

"It's okay baby, I'm scared too." You told Ethan as you looked around you for something to dry your eyes with. "Ugh, where are the tissues?" You slid down from the bench and navigated around your boyfriends on the ground, making your way into the lounge room.

"We should order books, right? Lots and lots and lots of books, not just about pregnancy but about raising kids and- hang on, I should get my phone and get onto Amazon…" Ethan's voice followed after you.

You spun around and grabbed his hand before he could disappear. He allowed you to link your fingers with his and he gave a little nod before being led into the lounge room with you.

You collected the box of tissues on your way to the couch. You sat down, finding a pillow to squeeze while he sat down to face you.

"Are you okay?" You asked, pushing his hair back from his face with some gentle strokes. "You look a little… I mean, you're happy, right?"

"What? Of course I'm happy, of course I am. But it's…" He took a second, looking down and inhaling to fill his lungs. "This is the biggest thing that's ever happened to me, to us. And I don't… I don't really know what to think.

"But I'm happy." He said, placing his hand on your knee. "I'm so happy. I've wanted a family for… well, for as long as I can remember." Damiano had come into the room, handing the cup of tea to Ethan. "But we haven't planned anything. Being parents isn't the same as picking cool names or letting Vic buy us cute kids clothes that she comes across online. It's… it's a lot."

"You two need to stress less." Damiano said as he sat down in Ethan's lap. "What do I always tell you?"

You looked at Ethan and the two of you shared a shrug. "I love you? Aw, yeah, you do say that to us a lot." You reached out to stroke Damiano's cheek, smiling sweetly. "I love you too Daddy."

"No."

"Nicki Minaj was right about Miley Cyrus?" Ethan guessed. "I feel like you're always waiting for an excuse to bring that up."

"Yes, but no." Damiano said. "I am always telling you that we can do it, no matter what it is. We come up to an obstacle and we figure out together how to overcome it. We're the power of three, dammit and this is just our next chapter, our next thing to learn from, just like we've learnt from every single thing before this."

Ethan raised his eyebrows, taking a sip of tea while you nodded. "Right, well that was a good pep talk. I think I'm inspired."

"I am definitely pepped." Ethan said sarcastically. "So, did you go to the doctor yesterday or was it one of those at-home kits?"

"At-home."

"But don't worry about it being a false-positive babe, she did seven of them." Damiano said.

"Seven?" Ethan repeated, looking at you in disbelief. That sounds, uh, a little excessive…"

"Right, well peeing on a plastic stick was just too much fucking fun. I simply couldn't stop at one." You said, making both of them laugh.

There were more tears sparkling in Damiano's eyes as he put an arm around Ethan, kissing him on the forehead. "We're having a baby." He smiled, shutting his eyes, so utterly happy.

You put your hands over your face, letting all of the excitement, the nerves, the apprehension, the surprise, the joy, the optimism - you let it all in and marinate together, changing your reality. The tears sprang forth again and you were brought into an embrace of four arms.

"Who do we call first?" Ethan asked.

.........

The nine week mark - it wasn't the first time the three of you had piled into the office of your newly obtained obstetrician but it felt like the most important visit to the doctor.

Today you were getting the results of the prenatal paternity test. You sat in the middle, holding Ethan's hand. On your other side was Damiano, picking at his black nail polish.

"Our tests were able to confirm that the father is Mr Torchio."

Damiano cheered while Ethan's hand locked on to yours in a death-grip. You rested your head on his shoulder, reaching your free hand out to Damiano.

"A little baby Ethan. This is gonna be the first baby to do shampoo commercials in the uterus." Damiano said.

Ethan reached a hand up to whack him across the back of the head. "Idiota."

The doctor proceeded, she was getting used to this bizarre dynamic and didn't flinch as much when they took off on sudden tangents. "All the other tests came back looking great, nothing abnormal or that would cause any kind of concern. And right now, your baby is about the size of a cherry."

"A cherry, one single little cherry." Damiano said, holding his fingers apart in a pinching motion, less than an inch of space there. "That's tiny."

"Yes, it's still early days." She said. "How is your fatigue?"

"I've been really tired, like, all of the time. I've been doing less-and-less, but I'm lucky that I've got two partners to do all the shit I don't have the energy for anymore, otherwise I'd be sitting here in dirty sweatpants."

"Yes, I think you've got a great setup here. I don't see anything getting past all three of you."

.........

You sat on the kitchen stool, staring directly at the fridge opposite you. The house was filled with the usual 3am serene silence and the 38-week-old fetus was your only company. 

Your whole body felt so heavy, especially your head, which was so full of thoughts. You had laid in bed for about 4 hours, waiting for sleep to come. But it hadn't, no matter what position you tried to lay in, there was absolutely no escaping the discomfort.

Your body was no longer your own and your patience for all of this had worn out. You had spent so long with this all-encompassing change wreaking havoc through your body and you just wanted it over. You were greatly looking forward to thinking about something other than being pregnant.

Damiano found you sitting motionless in the kitchen - alongside you was a mug that only held a completely dry teabag. He got your attention with a gentle stroke down your back before kissing your cheek as he came to stand next to you.

"What are you doing awake?" He asked. "Not only are you supposed to be getting as much sleep as possible, but it's almost 3.30 in the morning - that's the witching hour, when all the supernatural shit kicks off."

"Maybe I'll be visited by the ghost of my old waistline." You joked without committing to a smile. "I was just thinkin', thinkin' too much and I came down here to make some tea. But I got distracted…" You gestured to the fridge, its doors decorated with magnetic Scrabble tiles. "He needs a name Dami. He's about to be born and we're still just focusing on the pregnancy. I wanna be able to look at him and know him… and know that I'm meant to be his mum." 

"You are gonna know him, you already know what food he doesn't like and you know what music he likes. He's gonna come out of the womb knowing your voice and you're gonna know him and what he needs and how to take care of him best. He's lucky to have you as his mama."

You just nodded, it wasn't the first time one of your boyfriends had been forced to give you a pep talk like this. Their words helped but it was only ever a temporary fix, the insecurities always came crawling back. You hoped that once your son was actually in your arms, you wouldn't wonder anymore, you would be certain that motherhood was the right fit for you.

Damiano kissed your forehead a few more times before going over to stand directly in front of the fridge, considering the words that were spelt out on the metal surface - next to a photo of the baby from the most recent ultrasound.

"We've got it narrowed down to the top 3 - that’s not too bad.” He said. “And you know what we haven’t tried?” You sighed, propping your head up on your fist. “We haven’t asked him. Is he awake?”

"I think so. He's been rolling around a bit in there, trying to figure out the best way to lay in there- is it directly on my bladder or with his feet getting under my rib cage?"

You put your hand down to the side of your belly and felt the flutter of a response from your unborn son. You looked up to give Damiano a nod.

"Okay, help us out here little dude." He said, beginning at the top of the list. "Is your name Sergio?"

You felt another flutter against your belly, the baby reacting to the sound of Damiano's voice. You made a seesawing gesture with your hand.

"Okay, okay, maybe he's Sergio. But maybe he's actually- Cosmo."

You felt a jolt as the baby kicked you. This time you smiled at Damiano, feeling your eyes grow wide. "I think he's more a Cosmo, than a Sergio."

"Okay, okay, let's see if this'll be the big finish. Are you Leandro?"

You just blinked at him. "Nothing, not even a twitch."

"Well, this seems pretty clear." He said and he rearranged the 3 names on the fridge door. He put Cosmo at the top.

He strolled back over to stand beside you and silently, you considered this. Cosmo had come from Ethan's list of names. Unlike the majority of the other possible names - this wasn't linked to anyone of significance. It was a unique name of an individual who would set their own legacy.

Damiano put an arm around your shoulders. "So obviously you like the name, otherwise it wouldn't still be up on the fridge, right? 'Cause if you aren't totally sold on it…" He lowered his voice to a theatrical whisper. "Baby boy doesn't need to know that it was ever an option. It's not like he has eyes to see it up there."

"I definitely like it." You said. "We could call him Cozzie or Moe for short."

"That's adorable."

You turned to him, putting your hand on his chest to bring his attention to you. "Do you like it? I know that none of your names made it to the fridge…" There had been a maximum of 5 vetoes given to each of you to strike down the names you didn't want your child to have - any names that survived this round had gone up onto the fridge where you could mull them over, waiting for the moment of clarity.

"Yeah, I do like it, I think it's cute, it's quirky, it's memorable." He said. "If I didn't want my son named that, it would not still be up on the fridge."

You smiled, leaning against him. "I like it when you call him your son, 'cause that's-"

"Well, that's what he is."

"-what he is. Exactly." You said and you lifted yourself up briefly to kiss him. "I need you to know that I don't give a shit what science says or what anybody in our families says or what trolls online say or any of that noise - this baby is gonna have your DNA.

"He's gonna have your charisma, your kindness, your drive and determination, your energy, your fighting spirit, your fearlessness and your terrible, awful, dorky sense of humour." 

You saw a twinkle in his eye before he stroked your cheek and pulled you in for another kiss. He rested his forehead against yours and you could see that he was smiling as you took a moment of quiet together.

"But when people are talking about this incredible boy, what will they call him?" He asked you.

Then he crouched down in front of you, his attention coming to your pregnant belly. He lifted up the hem of your oversized tee, looking at the stretched skin there.

"Hey little dude, it's your papa - yeah, that's right, the loud one." He said to your belly, making you laugh. He put his hand on the front of your belly and there was the flutter of movement of the baby responding to his touch, just a little flicker of acknowledgement. 

"I hate to interrupt you, 'cause I know how busy you are, what with all that growing you're doing. But we would really like to know your name." The baby didn't have much of a reaction to Damiano's other hand coming to rest on your tummy. "No pressure here, we don't have a tattoo appointment booked in to get this name put on us tomorrow. But maybe you could shed some light…

"Is your name Cosmo?"

The response was instant, the little boy whirling around in the womb. Then there was the jolt of him kicking - not once, but in a little pattern.

Damiano looked up at you, his face glowing with an excited smile. "That seems pretty conclusive to me…"

"Yeah. I'd say that he's happy with it."

"That's a definite reaction. There have been times when you've rushed me over and you're really excited and you go, quick, quick, ya gotta feel this, he's moving, he's moving, feel it. And I go over and I nod and get excited with you, but I don't feel anything, literally anything." He said and your mouth fell open in surprise. "Not all the time, but it's happened more than once."

"Are you serious? Why didn't you ever say anything to me?"

"I didn't wanna rain on your parade, but that's not the point…" He said and you rolled your eyes. "The point is - I definitely fucking felt that, I felt that he's moving. I felt him confirming that his name is Cosmo."

You smiled, pushing a hand through his hair. "Cosmo - he has a name."

"We finally did it." He said. "Ethan will be thrilled, I'm sure.”

"Help me up, I gotta pee, again."

.........

"I can't stop looking at him 'cause I just can't believe how perfect he is." Victoria said, sitting in front of the bassinet. There was a dreamy look in her eyes and she hadn't stopped smiling since coming into the house.

"He kinda looks like he's got his brow furrowed, like he's deep in thought about something serious." Thomas said. "He's already just like his dad."

Ethan didn't have any response to this and when you looked around, you found his eyes were shut as he sat perfectly still on the couch.

"Thank God, he has not been sleeping. I've literally lost count of all the times I've woken up to see him just sitting at the baby's side - hand on Cosmo's chest to check that he's breathing." You said.

"Yeah, he's the intense one." Thomas said with a shrug. "I thought you would've figured that out by now…"

Damiano returned to the nursery, a pitcher of iced tea in hand. He started to fill up the cups, handing them out. When he got to Ethan, he just placed the glass on the end table closest to your boyfriend.

"You should tell Ethan that he doesn't need to worry so much 'cause this baby is the most perfect thing in the whole world." Victoria said.

"He really is.” Thomas said. “I don’t get it, but right now, looking at him, I am just so happy. I feel good and everything makes sense. I’m looking at him and I know that everything is gonna work out just fine. Congrats on the perfect baby, you guys."

"Do you wanna hold him?" Damiano offered to the two visitors sitting on the floor.

"Oh, I don’t wanna get my cigarette smell all over him.”

Victoria’s arm shot into the air. “I’ll hold him.”

You moved closer to Ethan on the couch - with all three of them hovering over Cosmo, you felt safe enough to shut your eyes. You could take your eyes off the ball and relax. You put your head onto Ethan’s shoulder, immediately soothed by his body warmth, ready to cuddle with him for hours.

“He’s so tiny, what the Hell?” 

“I know, it’s amazing, I could fit him in my handbag.” Victoria said. “No, I’m serious - Tom, get my bag, it’s over there in the corner.”

“Cute, very cute.” Damiano said sarcastically.

You opened your eyes and looked across to where the three adults were sitting in something of a half-circle, their heads bowed close together as they all marvelled over the baby. Thomas had picked up a toy, he wiggled the colourful beetle in the air.

“Hi baby Cozzie, hi. Can you say Aunty Victoria?" She repeated the phrase, drawing the syllables out further.

"Five days old." Damiano said. "He is five days old Vic. Look, how about we see if he can say this word- delusional?"

Thomas now had a red dinosaur in hand, wiggling it about for Cosmo's attention over Victoria's shoulder.

"You need to give him more credit, for all you know, he's got a galaxy brain." Victoria said. "Can you say Vic?"

You shut your eyes again, a smile on your face. In his sleep, Ethan shifted and put his arm around you, a muscle-memory. You settled in, easily finding comfort.

"Can you say never gonna happen?"

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