#funnyrant

The Sun is right above the horizon, slowly beginning to rise. People have started arriving in the park. This morning breeze is tempting me to add a layer of wool over my body. I don't understand why people like it? The sun is staring right at you but it still feels chilly. I can see some kids playing beneath the happy tree, while the birds on its branch are looking for prey to drop good luck on them. There's also this group of Elderly people doing that annoying laughing exercise. Don't they know how absurd they look while doing it? No joke could possibly crack them up this hysterically. For how long are you willing to fake it. Won't you get tired? And now there’s one more pair of love birds who have decided to wake up early in the morning to hang out in the park. Do they think they are invisible? Everyone sees you when you two birds jog synchronously. And her mum says, "My daughter is such a fitness freak, she is preparing every morning for next month's City Marathon." Bhabhi Please! Your daughter wasn't there last Saturday when they organized World Health Day, where was this motivation then? Aunty doesn't know that Aakash wasn't in town that day, Otherwise, her daughter would be ready to flex on that day as well. Most of these people showing up in the park are really just to show off, nobody's really there to get a healthy body anymore. I mean, if you really cared about your health, how come the vendor who sells Panipuri outside the park is getting richer by the minute. I think even he earns more than me now. Gets paid to receive eye tonic and here I am stuck in the job which breaks me every day. Why do I always get stupid clients? I mean how many changes you're going to ask for huh? First, finalize the things you want in your project, then come to me. I'm done working at this place of zero hope, things never change here. It has been more than two years now and I am done doing the same stuff over and over. I need to find myself a better job. You know, once I get my due increment, I'll quit. 

The Alarm rings, "beep beep.. beep beep.. beep beep beep"

Ah! not again, you can't wake me up more than I already am, stupid phone. I don't even need to wake her up anymore. At this hour, She's probably going back to her tent or a houseboat. But, why does she always have to go places like these? I get that the work she does is really important, probably, even world-changing stuff and these forests of Amazon is might just be the best place for the research but at least go to a place made for humans. You're living in a dangerous place with wild animals in a 1960 era forest where cell phones don't have reception. What makes it even more frustrating is not being able to anything about it. 

I know it shouldn't be bothering me much, after all, we did agree to do this together but damn this is killing me. At this point, I know my brain doctor brother would say, "What you're feeling right now is normal. When you were together, your body was producing Oxytocin at high levels, but now your body has quit delivering a plenitude of serotonin, oxytocin, and so forth, and to exacerbate the situation, the chemicals that your body does produce continue to be processed so quickly it's as if they were never there. But don't worry, your body will adjust to it in some time." 

Now, how is this any different from saying, "Don't worry, everything will be fine in some time." But, No! You need to say these difficult terms to prove that you're smarter than me. This whole situation sucks actually. Nothing makes sense anymore, even the article I read online did not help. I don't know who these articles cater to, certainly doesn’t change anything for me. And they always write them with such confidence that It's gonna turn around the reader's whole life. As if just writing in bullets will make people understand everything.

⦁ Try meditating to help ease the distress. 

Doesn't meditation require you to have a calm mind? Well if I could keep my mind calm I wouldn't be reading this article in the first place. 

⦁   Try expressing emotions through journaling, drawing, or music.

Well not everyone here is a Picasso. And even he made silly paintings, some of them don't even make sense. If he was a millennial, his Instagram page wouldn't even have 100 followers. 

⦁ Consider doing something kind, either for your loved one or for someone else in their honor. 

Yeah right, I donated ₹ 5000 last year to the PM Cares fund, I don't even know if any good came out of it. The migrant laborers still had to travel the distance by themselves, if they couldn't find a place in Sonu Sood Depot. It'd been better if I had personally donated that sum directly to our maid and her family. 

⦁   Keep track of thoughts to share later. 

Hmm... Wouldn't it be too much? I mean if I started making list, it would go on forever. There's a lot that I would like to share with her. I can practically imagine her going in a fit of laughter hearing all these crazy stories I have for her. 

⦁   Focus on positive memories, such as shared jokes or trips you took together.

Okay, let us try this. I guess we had few good memories, them Late-night walks, all those improv games we used to play together. Us meeting after a long vacation, just like when Noah and Allie reunite in The Notebook, minus the rain and the breathtaking scenery. And damn her weird Oreo coffee, I can't forget that combo even on my deathbed. Maybe I should try making that?