May 22, 2020
My Dad - #23
My Dad: *farts loudly* "Who fired that shot!?"
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My Dad - #23
My Dad: *farts loudly* "Who fired that shot!?"
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I hate to admit it, but I just choked on my coffee laughing at this and now I need to figure out how to clean the laptop screen
My dad tried making his own meme 😂
in the movie theatre
Submitted post by @around13ducks:
an animated short came on before the movie and in it the lady made a dumpling that came to life, and she continued to raise it and one day it was engaged and trying to leave the house but she didn’t want it to go so she ate it, and the entire theatre went silent out of confusion and a dad somewhere behind me says to his kid “YOU SEE THAT? YOU BE BAD AND IMA EAT YOU” then we all proceeded to laugh until the short was over.
My Dad - #8
My sister screams from the kitchen “Don’t take my cookie chunk!!!” followed by my dad’s malicious laughter as he quickly runs away.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
My Dad - #3
My Dad after farting in the car and rolling down the windows:
“The solution to pollution is dilution.”
My Dad - #10
My Dad was driving and had gotten bored so he started making random noises, but could remember how to make this one noise:
“Darn! Just when I’m trying to be annoying I forget how!”
My Dad - #11
Dad: *lying down with a migraine* “[my name], can you close that door? The sun is really bothering me.”
Me: *closes door* “Can’t you block out the sun?”
Dad: “No, I cannot.”
Me: “Why not?”
Dad: “Because I am not all that and a bag of chips. I’m not even a Post Toastie.”