#fuckyou.

"speak English this is America!!!!!"

Okay? And? Which america? North or south? Bet you don't know. Also what Abt the other freaking country on the American CONTINENT that speaks primarily a DIFFERENT language. ALSO WHAT ABT ALL THE OTHERS THAT ARE GEOLOGICALLY APART KF NORTH AMERICA!?!? i genuinely hate and wish death upon those who say that. "This is America!!!!" Drop dead.

Okay this is besides the point but I found this when I was trying to type fuck you.

The boy who I was falling for turned out to be abusive, like so many others. He left me in the small motel without any explanation. I guess he’s in Indiana now.

I sleep in a stranger’s arms at night. I know next to nothing about him. We don’t have sex, we don’t make out, we’re not intimate. We just sleep in each other’s arms.

I’ve lived in three different places since moving down here in the short span of just a month and a half. It fucks with my head but the place I’m living in now feels more like a home and I know the man helping us isn’t going to bail or kick us out.

I have nearly 3 months clean from Opiates. I did some Blow at a bachelor’s party the other night. It was really good compared to any of the shit I ever had in Iowa.

I left the Cedar Valley for a reason. I can’t go back, even if I long to. There are too many images there, too many memories. Too many things resurface even at the smallest hint of the place. It makes me sick. My stomach fucking churns. The energy that emits from that place in its entirety is simply bad and I realized the other night that I was not withering away because of the drugs.

After 8 years of masking the symptoms of my PTSD, it is now in full swing. I have to learn how to cope with it while being sober.

I sleep in a stranger’s arms every goddamn night.

No one from home asks me how I’m doing.