#ftlgbtfics

Natsu looks over to his husband to find him staring worriedly at Erza. Gray’s teeth sunk into his lower lip in a way that made Natsu’s eye linger before traveling up to the eyebrow scrunched high on his face. He too could see what Natsu saw and knew they needed to do this.

With practiced ease, Natsu called a wide cocky grin onto his face. “Oh, come on Erza, we’ve babysitter for you a bunch of times remember?”

But as Gray and Natsu could see though Erza’s facade, she could see through theirs. She narrowed her eyes at them. “Rhea. You babysat Rhea alone. I’m warning you now that this is not the same. Rhea has always been self-sufficient even when she was younger. Andre can be…difficult sometimes. Toddlers are a lot of work.”

Gray interrupted this time moving closer to the mother. “Stop trying to scare us off Erza, you know that only gets us fired up.” Natsu’s grin turns into a smirk as he redirects his attention to Gray. “Stealing my lines now Snowflake.” Gray gives him a challenging stare back but says nothing. The two just smirk at each other like idiots in the Scarlet-Strauss yard speaking a thousand words without a sound. Erza always held strong for their guild, for Gray and Natsu, no matter the cost to her. That type of behavior had led to her self-destruction more than once, and each time the boys were there catch her before she fit the ground.

There was no way they were going to leave without the kids.

At that moment, the door opened again, and Rhea walked out. Heading their instructions, she brought along with her a bathing suit and towel carried on her cake-shaped backpack. The eleven-year old looks between her two rowdy uncles and her tired mom. Secretly, she had noticed that both her mothers had looked more down the last few weeks. Between issues at the guild and Andre tearing through whatever he could get his hands and/or teeth on, her mothers were always fixing problem after problem. Rhea tried to make up for it by being extra good. She cleaned up after herself and did her chores without her mother’s asking. She even tried to talk to Andre about being good too, but he just stared and giggled at her as if she were telling a joke. Rhea wasn’t anymore immune to that cute giggly face than her parents and ended up on the floor reading him stories.

Still. She was going to keep being good for her uncles as well. Especially since they seemed blissfully unaware how much of a little terror her brother has been for the past few weeks.

Mirajane smiled at Gray and Natsu and so did the little person slobbering on her dress. Andre giggled as Gray made silly faces and went willingly into his arms. Her turned to shoot a I-told-you-we-could-handle-it look at Erza only to be stopped by the same look of hesitance that flashed over Mirajane’s face.

At this rate, they’d never leave. Gray and Natsu exchanged looks again and subtly nodded to each other. It’s game time.

Gray started down the pathway with Andre in his arms and Rhea following right behind them. Natsu waited for them to move further down the road before stepping forward to grasp both women’s shoulders. “Listen, you two deserve this break. We all know how hard you’ve been working both at the guild and at home. Me and Gray handle the kids for a few days, just trust us alright?” Without waiting for an answer, he kissed both women on the cheeks and grabbed the baby bag Mirajane had brought along with her. With another reassuring grin, he headed to meet his lover.

“Natsu wait-” He turned to see Mirajane and Erza’s hands intertwined. A look of sincerity on their faces as they whispered, “thank you.”

 This time, the smile that came onto his lips was genuine.

~

He and Gray had spent hours arguing over where the best place to spend a week with little kids was. They had come to a standstill glaring from opposite sides of their kitchen table when Happy’s fish went sailing through the room and ended up dropping between them. When Natsu turned to yell what the hell was that for! Gray’s eyes had lit up in the mesmerizing way.

Now here they were in a 5-way race across the beach. Happy won of course, the cheater, but Natsu gladly headbutted Gray out of the way allowing for Rhea to race past him. In retaliation, Gray picked Natsu up off the ground and swung him around under the eyes of a giggling Andre. Andre had given up on trying to race on his short unsteady legs pretty early and instead seemed content to run his fingers through the sand and watch his uncles wrestle. Rhea was celebrating her victory with Happy by trying to bob for fish underwater. At the sound of a scuffle, she raises her head and turns to the fighting men fight men on the beach. She jolts up out of the water when recognizes her uncles. “Are they okay?!” She askes Happy worried. The blue cat just rolled his eyes. “Yeah they’re fine. That’s just their version of fun. Come on, the fish aren’t going to catch themselves!” Rhea hesitates, but as she looks back she could see the little details she missed before. The light tone in their voices as they called insults back and forth, the smiles they exchanged when one managed to pin the other, the way the hands lingered and caressed the other in between moves. In that moment, they reminded Rhea so much of her own mothers when they bickered back and forth just to have an excuse to get closer to each other. With a smile she decided that Happy was right and they continued their dives.

The rest of the day passed by in a splash.

Natsu tried to teach Rhea how to swim while Gray wadded around the shallow end with Andre on his hip. Then they broke for lunch and devoured the triangle sandwiches Mirajane had packed. Shortly after eating, Andre fell asleep on Natsu’s chest while the rest of the gang built sandcastles. They spent some more time in the water until the sun started to set and both kids movements began to slow. They were in the process of packing up their stuff when Gray placed his hand gently over Natsu’s, “so, kids hun?”

The dragon slayer patted the seat beside him on their couch. Freed placed a peck on his cheek as he sat down, swinging one graceful leg over the other. They were both silent for a moment before Freed spoke again, “It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”

Laxus nodded, “It’s just… so weird. As a member of Fairy Tail, I feel like I’m expected to be happy about this. But… he was also my father. I mean, he was never a great dad, but he was there.”

“How do you feel about it?”

“I… don’t know,” Laxus admitted, “Empty, maybe? I’m not sad, but I’m not happy either. I don’t really feel anything.

Freed hummed, “That’s understandable. You don’t have to feel a certain way about it. Nobody is expecting anything from you about this.”

“It’s just… something that’s been there my entire life is just suddenly gone. I guess I kinda miss him, but not as a father. Just as someone who’s always been out there. Is that weird?”

The rune mage shook his head, “We all process in different ways. Everything about this is complicated,” Freed’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling the dragon slayer closer, “If you need some time off to process, we’d all understand.”

Laxus let out a huff of laughter, “I think that would be the worst thing for me. I just need something to take my mind off of it.”

Freed smiled before resting his chin on Laxus’s shoulder, “If there’s anything you need, I’ll be here.”

Laxus kissed his husband’s forehead, “Thanks. I love you.”

“And I you.”

The dragon slayer sat still as the rune mage slowly fell asleep, still leaning against him. Freed always looked so peaceful when he slept, his features gentle as his chest rhythmically rose and fell. It was always comforting to see him rest, since he hardly ever slept when they had first met. The Thunder Legion had always been like a family, and they had lost their eldest brother as children. Freed had taken it the hardest, hardly ever sleeping in fear that he would have nightmares about all the people he had lost.

“Papa?”

Laxus looked over to the little boy in the doorway, trying his best to not disturb his husband, “Hey Yuri. What’s up?”

The boy made his way over to Laxus, climbing up onto the couch and then onto his father’s lap, “Is something wrong?”

“Huh? No, why do you ask?”

Yuri frowned, “Your eyes look sad.”

Laxus sighed. Even though he was only five years old, Yuri was always very empathetic. He cared so much for every living thing, insisting that they take in injured birds and nurse them back to health. It was adorable, but Laxus had always wondered where he’d gotten that from, “I guess I am a little sad. But it’s not anything you have to worry about.”

“Is it about Robin?”

The dragon slayer froze. It was rare anyone ever mentioned their lost daughter. Robin was Yuri’s twin sister who had suddenly died three years ago. Although it was no longer taboo to mention her in the guild, nobody ever had much of a reason to talk about her. Laxus always hated remembering the months after she had passed away, when everything had been so bleak and he and Freed grieved every night.

But this was nothing like that. All in all, it was a good thing Ivan was dead, “No, it’s not about her. I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Oh, okay,” Yuri said, “I’m sorry I talked about her. She makes you upset.”

“It’s alright. It’s just a little hard to talk about her sometimes.”

“Can you tuck me in?”

“Of course. Just give me a minute, I don’t want to wake up your dad.”

Laxus slowly shifted Freed off of him, laying the smaller man down on the couch as carefully as he could before taking Yuri back to his own bedroom. The boy climbed into bed, pulling the covers over himself. The lightning dragon pressed a kiss against his son’s forehead before tugging the covers up just a little further. Yuri yawned, curling up on his side. Laxus waited until the boy was barely conscious before standing up. He brushed a strand of bright blonde hair out of the boy’s face.

“Good night, Yuri.”

“‘Night, Papa,” he mumbled sleepily.

Laxus sighed, slowly closing the door behind him as he left his son’s room. He was lucky to have a kid who was so kind and easygoing. Even he couldn’t remember much of Robin, but he was sure she was more difficult than Yuri was. Still, just thinking about his daughter made his heart ache.

It was an age of peace for Fairy Tail. There hadn’t been any major conflicts in nine years, and the guild was flourishing with new life as the members settled down and started families. Even so, Laxus had suffered so many losses. Makarov had died exactly a year before the twins were born, then Robin, and now Ivan.

When he walked back to the living room, Freed was sitting upright, staring at the lake beyond their window. He stood when he heard Laxus approach, blue eyes almost glowing in the low light.

“Sorry,” Laxus said quietly, “I tried not to wake you up.”

“It’s quite alright,” Freed responded easily, “You had to take care of Yuri. Besides, I’ve always been a light sleeper.”

The dragon slayer looked at his feet, “So did you hear what he asked me about?”

Freed frowned, “I didn’t. Is something wrong?”

Laxus shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. It’s not important.”

The rune mage crossed his arms, “You know you don’t have to try to protect me. Come now, I can handle it.”

The lightning dragon sighed his resignation, “He noticed that I was upset and he… he asked if it was about Robin.”

Freed went quiet.

“Of course, he’s allowed to talk about her, but it still hurts, you know?”

“Yeah. I know.”

They both stood silently for a long moment, until Laxus heard a quiet sniffle. Freed wiped tears from his eyes as the lightning dragon looked up.

“Oh, Freed,” Laxus murmured, pulling his husband into a hug.

The rune mage shuddered, “It’s been three years since then. I should be over it. It shouldn’t still make me feel like this.”

“No, no. It’s fine to still be upset. What happened was horrible. Nobody expects you to just get over something like that,” Laxus comforted, “It still hurts me when I hear people talk about her.”

“Gods, I miss her so much.”

Laxus pulled his husband closer, “So do I. But when someone dies, there’s nothing we can do about it. We just have to be happy that they lived.”

Freed chuckled softly, “You inherited the master’s way with words, too.”

“Yeah. I guess I did,” the dragon slayer murmured, “I’m sad he’s gone, but I’m lucky to have had him there when I needed him.”

Laxus smiled, thinking of all the ridiculous things his grandfather did to cheer him up when he was little. He truly was grateful to have such a person with him.

“Freed?”

“Hmm?”

“Promise me you’ll always be by my side.”

“Of course, love. I would never leave you,” Freed responded, “But in return, you must promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“If, for whatever reason, something happens to me, take care of Yuri and the Thunder Legion. They need you.”

Laxus chuckled, “Of course. But nothing will happen to you, right?”

“Of course not. I love you all too much to ever dream of leaving.”

“Good, ‘cause we need you too.”

–

Natsu and the woman rage across the barren earth, trading powerful, blazing punches and delicate, deceptive strikes that keep cutting too close. He’s powerful, but his fists are no match for a swordswoman of her calibre. He spits and hisses flame, trying to keep her at bay, but her steps are too quick for his single-minded, imprecise attacks. Her blue hair’s half-burned off, hanging in a short, ragged, soot-edged bobcut around her ears, but she barely blinks at the sudden loss of weight from her head, pivoting expertly around Natsu’s stunned form.

And then the sword is slicing down towards Natsu’s chest before he can breathe, but he’s not even afraid because he knows - 

Ice stops the swing that surely would have killed him, strong and firm and hard and unyielding, a solid block that weighs the swordswoman down, and she cries out at the sudden cold, clutching her shoulder as veins of blue creep up her dark skin. Natsu doesn’t waste a second, going in for a full-blown punch to the head to knock her out while Gray stabilizes his magic to make sure her sword arm is incapacitated. Her head lolls back, brown eyes half-closed, skin glimmering with a sheen of sweat, lips murmuring a prayer even in unconsciousness.

“Do I always have to get you out of this stuff, Flame Brain?” Gray says, and he sounds exasperated, but Natsu knows he’s not. 

So he responds cheerfully, “It was me who knocked her out, not you, Ice Princess,” 

Gray snorts. “Says the guy who was getting his ass beat.”

They don’t mention that he would have been dead by now if Gray hadn’t been there. Gray won’t gloat in it; Natsu won’t thank him - because that’s not how it works between Gray and Natsu.

Because they have an unspoken deal, and that deal can stick to being unspoken.

—–

Gray stares up at the sky, dark eyes vacant and empty as they always are on this day. His head spins with a whirlpool of memory he’d rather not get sucked into, but he’s got no choice. 

At least today, he should let himself sink into it. Should atone by allowing it to rip him apart all over again, leaving him the same torn, broken mess he becomes this day every year. 

The same mess that he deserves to be, for daring to be happy.

Unwittingly, his shoulders sag, heavy with the weight of the illusory strength he’s too tired to project today. His head falls forward onto his knees, and a pit opens up in his stomach, wide and gaping and empty - a pit that can’t be filled even by the bubbling vivacity of Fairy Tail, not today. 

He is dropping, then, dropping into this pit, deeper and deeper, hurtling down the seemingly bottomless hole of despair and guilt and regret which widens every second he’s in it. A voice screams at him to stop, to pull himself out before it is too late, but he simply can’t try anymore. 

Gray is a lost boy, adrift, floating, and there is nothing that can save him now.

But then there is a warm and sharp blast to his bare back, shocking him back into the present, and his body retaliates with a hastily-made lance, though his mind is still reeling from the sudden shock.

“Come on, Ice Princess,” taunts Natsu, smirking confidently, but his eyes are full of understanding. “Today ain’t no day to be moping around like some emo loser.”

“Emo loser, huh?” Gray returns challengingly, a spark lighting in his dull-edged, rusty blade of a heart. “I’ll show you what this emo loser can do!”

Natsu attacks first, and Gray sidesteps most of his too-direct punches and kicks, trying to get his rhythm down. But he soon starts taking hits and giving them in equal measure, tired of evading the fight like a prissy princess.

Natsu’s fists speak better than his words - always have. 

With a punch to the gut, he says, It’s not your fault.

With a kick to the head, he tells Gray, Never has been.

With a spell aimed at his face, he shouts, So shut up and let me help you! 

And as they launch themselves at each other, sharp hisses of steam rising as white-hot fire and hell-cold ice clash, Gray manages to forget, just a little.

And he manages to forgive himself, just a little.

The words stuck in his throat don’t come out. 

Thank you, Natsu.

Not today, not now… maybe not ever.

Because he doesn’t need to say them; doesn’t need to state in words the extent of their bond. Meaningless strings of letters cannot describe Gray and Natsu, and will never be able to.

Because this is how it is - Gray will protect Natsu from others, and Natsu will protect Gray from himself.

He extended his new enhanced hearing as much as he could and listened to the sounds all around him until he could make out something. Natsu strained even more and was able to make out the sound of running water. Natsu looked at Igneel with a confused expression and ran towards the noise. He ran through a grove of trees, the sound of the water getting louder and louder until he finally saw a large waterfall. He was running so fast he almost ran over the edge.

Igneel came behind him slowly, the trees impeding his movement. He snorted, “I guess your hearing has improved after all.”

Natsu ran towards him and gave him a big hug, “I take it back, this place is great. Can we go swimming?” He waited for Igneel to give his approval before finding a spot where he could safely dive into the water. He jumped in and was soon splashing around and frolicking happily.

He was having a grand old time when he heard a rather undignified cry of "King Dragon Splash!" and with a start saw Igneel run off the side of the cliff and let himself fall into the water with a resounding splash. Natsu found himself flying in the air along with many fish and a large amount of the water supply that until a moment ago had been residing at the bottom of the waterfall. There was a loud thundering sound in the air that Natsu immediately recognized as Igneel's laughter.

Natsu felt himself begin to fall and he flailed his arms trying to control his descent, soon landing on top of a scaly belly.

Igneel was still laughing, "You should have seen your face?!" Natsu thought he could almost see tears coming out of those giant yellow eyes. He wanted to pout, but the fact was it had been hilarious, and his heart warmed at the sound of his father's laughter.

He lay on his back and made himself comfortable, letting the sun dry his body. After a few minutes, he grew bored of this and plopped on his belly, peering into the water to try to spot any marine life, although he knew Igneel had probably scared most of them away.

“Hey Igneel,” Natsu crawled up closer to his father’s face. Igneel shook his head a little, the warmth of the day making him drowsy.

“What is it?”

“What are you gonna teach me today?” Natsu asked curiously.

“Just this,” Igneel waved his arm at where they were.

Natsu thought about what the dragon could mean, looking around at the waterfall and the rest of the beautiful scenery that surrounded them. “I don’t understand.”

Igneel smiled lazily, “It’s all well and good to learn how to fight, use magic, and all the other things I try to teach you. But every once in a while, it’s also important to just relax and enjoy yourself, to spend time with the ones you love and remind yourself of what it is you’re fighting for.”

Natsu remained quiet as he thought about Igneel’s words, his nose scrunching up cutely, making Igneel smile.

“Ok, look at it this way. Why do you fight?”

"To win of course!" Natsu jumped up and down on Igneel's body, and after some more thought he added, "And because it's fun!"

“Well yes, that’s nice of course, but that’s not why you should fight. You fight because you want to protect someone or something. It could be as simple as seeing a place like this exist for others to enjoy or because a friend is threatened or even just because it's the right thing to do," Igneel explained slowly, knowing sometimes it took Natsu a little while to grasp more abstract concepts.

“I’d fight to protect you,” Natsu said seriously as he hugged as much of his father as he was able to surround with his small arms.

Igneel’s voice was gruff and full of affection, “I know you would, and as fierce as you are I don’t envy anyone who gets in your way!”

Natsu's chest puffed with pride at the rare compliment. He thought the lesson was over, but Igneel continued. "What I'm trying to say is, Natsu, you can't fight all the time, sometimes you have to stop and enjoy the world around you and just be for a little while.”

Natsu looked at Igneel seriously, “That sounds really boring.”

"Oh yeah?" Igneel's grin became mischievous again, and he managed to somehow flip and have Natsu land on his back. He quickly took off and flew as fast as he could with Natsu holding on for dear life, his initial screams of fear quickly morphing into squeals of glee as Igneel began to dance in the air, doing acrobatics that made Natsu's heart dance as well.

“I love you, Igneel,” Natsu yelled into the air.