#fs pac

Pile 1

Cards: Ace of Pentacles, Nine of Wands, Seven of Cups, Justice rx, Six of Swords, Eight of Pentacles rx, The Magician, Five of Swords

Back of the Deck: King of Pentacles

For my beautiful pile 1's, it seems like you guys will be pretty inexperienced, I am seeing a few different scenarios for y'all. For some of you, it could be for religious reasons but if not, you be hoping your first time to be with someone who has a similar amount of experience. This also seems like it would happen around the time you get married or your honeymoon. Some of you just haven't had sex in a while or you will be taking your fs's virginity. Interestingly enough, I am hearing for some of you, this is actually gonna happen very soon. Whatever the scenario, I feel like you are going to be VERY nervous and many of you will very reasonably have a lot on your mind. You are definitely going to be so nervous to the point that you may not be able to relax properly during the act. I am getting it comes from a place of really wanting to impress each other, so I feel like it actually takes a little while before the act really starts because of these nerves. I also heard it might take a few tries before you actually have sex but you will eventually get there. It's really interesting cause I feel like you both are preventing this intimate moment from actually taking off because of how overwhelmed you will be. If you are a virgin and you are nervous about your first time, spirit is saying that you need to relax and try to be in the moment, I feel like when you do get to the sex, you guys will have to do a lot of foreplay and reassuring each other that no one is going anywhere despite the initial awkwardness. The vibes are really wholesome here lol. For this first time, you are going to do a lot of experimenting to see what you like and dislike in bed. For some, there is something you always thought you'd enjoy in bed and you are gonna try and see how you like it when you have sex with your fs for the first time. For example, if you always felt like you would enjoy being on top and in control you are going to try that with them. If you aren't a virgin then I feel like you are going to try something you have never tried before, the first time you have sex with your fs. I actually feel like for a lot of you, you are going to realize you didn't like it as much as you thought you would. However, as mentioned previously the vibes here are pretty wholesome so I'm not getting the sex will be anything really rough or intense. I feel like it will be the definition of love making, like after struggling with nerves of wanting to impress, your love will come through and you will enjoy each others way of expressing that love. I just heard neck bites and hickeys so I feel like you are going to start by kissing their neck, or you will know your fs is horny because they start kissing your neck. I also heard your fs is good with their hands and mouth. With the King of Pentacles at the back of the deck, I feel like someone is going to be spoiling you in their affection, perhaps even to the point that they sacrifice their own pleasure to make sure the other feels good or has an orgasm. This first time is the start of a really healthy and satisfying sex life. It is very important for y'all to communicate what you want with your partner and vice versa for this to continue smoothly.

Advice Cards:

Create an internal structured frame of reference and stay focused

Your heart is a center of intuitive intelligence. Listen to it!

Align your body, mind, and spirit with your heart

No better time exists than right now

The key is in the application. Practice!

Practice the pause

Channeled Song:

Pile 2

Cards: Knight of Wands, Eight of Swords, Queen of Swords, Knight of Pentacles, Strength, Six of Swords, Ten of Swords, Ace of Cups

Back of the Deck: The Chariot

Ok, but why I am loving the vibes of this pile already lol. The first thing that screamed at me was fem dom, especially with the mixture of the Queen of Swords and Strength here. Definitely some strong mommy energy (apologizes to any mascs interested in other mascs lol). This pile also seems to be a little kinky, like this is only the second pile and I feel like this is going to be the kinkiest one. I am hearing the lyrics to S&M by Rihanna, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me" LMAO. These could be really intense kinks considering its the first time having sex with this person so be careful Pile 2, don't do anything you aren't comfortable with and prioritize communication with your partner! Also, you might not exactly go all out with the chains and whips but a little light BDSM, some playful and mischievous energy in the bed. I did just see someone in a collar though. I also keep hearing spanking. I feel like for some of you, whoever is the bottom is either going to be super submissive or almost match your energy like switch energy and there is no in between. I just heard spit play. Actually, y'all might start this relationship on a sexual note, perhaps you met through a dating or hookup app, so you already know what you are into before the relationship really starts. This first night y'all are gonna really hit it off well. Perhaps in the past nobody could make you cum but your fs is the first person that got you to cum. Like you have never felt as turned on as you have with your fs. I think they have an almost siren affect on you. It almost feels like they want to put on a little dance for you to seduce you. Originally I was getting that one of you would come slightly early and it would feel embarrassing, but now I am hearing you both may come early so its a little less embarrassing. I think this is happening because the positions you use are going to be deep reaching so it feels extra intense. This first night together seems to be full of sweet giggles and loving kisses, even if you hadn't known each other for long, their arms will feel familiar to you, comfortable. Your fs's embrace is going to feel like home. Being in bed with your fs for the first time is going to make you feel confident, more confident then you would normally feel.

Advice Cards:

Align body, mind, and spirit. Know that you are whole

Act on what you know

Take a lighter approach and smile about all facets in your life

A smile reflects a heart at peace

Make your presence felt

Set the conditions. You will succeed!

It is time to unclutter your body, mind, and spirit

Channeled Songs:

Pile 3

Cards: Seven of Wands rx, The Devil rx, Three of Pentacles, The Tower rx, Judgement, Four of Cups, Eight of Pentacles rx, Six of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles

Back of the Decks: Three of Wands

For my pile 3's, your first time with your fs feels straight from a fairy tale. Spirit keeps showing me very fantastical and story book imagery. I am getting for this pile, you likely already know who your fs is, you may already be in a relationship, but of course take it how it resonates. One of the strongest things I'm hearing is Office/Workplace Romance which is lightly confirmed with the Six of Pentacles and the Three of Pentacles together. Some of y'all this first time with your fs is literally at your workplace (⸝⸝˃ ་། ˂⸝) . There is a strong energy of "forbidden love", so when you first have sex, there is a sense of urgency. I'm hearing "I don't know when I'll have you all to myself again so I need to make the most of my time". Your fs will take this first time SO seriously. Perhaps a little too seriously, when you look into their face, your fs may seem really stoic but trust me Pile 3, they are on fire on the inside. There will be signs too, they will look flushed, fast breathing, I heard sweaty hands lol. I'm heavily picking up on your fs's energy and how your fs is feeling, almost as if they are trying to let you know that they enjoy you and your body but may have a hard time expressing it outwardly. Ok, so I asked for an extra card on how you will be feeling during this first time and we got the Nine of Pentacles which is 👌🤌. I heard you will feel like you are blooming lol. I just see such a wide smile on your face, your fs will rock your world and you will feel sooooo satisfied. After you climax you will feel high as shit. You seem to be the more receptive partner, I keep hearing your fs wants to prove themselves to you. You seem more confident and proud then your fs who seems a little submissive in energy but dominant in bed. I heard you may still be clothed or keep certain articles of clothing on. For some of you, you were wearing something of theirs and they got really turned on by it. The sex feels really slow, even with the earlier sense of urgency, your fs gives off really desperate and emotional energy like they are overwhelmed at the sight of you. I'm also hearing they are in love with your imperfections, so I see them giving extra affection to the parts of your body that you are insecure about. I'm getting the image of someone getting close to their partner's ear, whispering sweet nothings and biting down just hard enough to make you gasp. Your fs is going to make you lose your breath from really simple touches and kisses. For this pile, I am seeing your fs may take you up against the wall but I notice the greatest variety of positions with this pile. I was also getting lotus really strongly. This first time with your fs might start out as a fwb situation but for a lot of you this will just be the start of a long and fulfilling sex life with your partner.

Advice Cards:

You can make an important contribution

It is important to understand and value your own energy

Be adventurous. It's time to go for it!

Be bold. It's time to leap forward!

Pay attention to the issue that time plays in your life right now

You are a natural teacher

Channeled Song:

Pile 4

Cards: Three of Cups, Knight of Cups rx, Eight of Wands rx, The Moon, Queen of Pentacles rx, The Hanged Man rx, Nine of Swords rx, The High Priestess rx

Back of the Deck: Five of Pentacles

Ok Pile 4, I am loving the energy I am getting for this first night together. The energy seems really sensual and soft. I'm not getting that y'all are too inexperienced but I am getting a lot of shyness around sex as a whole, specifically coming from you. With the Nine of Swords and Queen of Pentacles in reverse, there may have been a lot of fear and anxiety around sex, you may have some insecurities about your body or feel uncertain about how you are in bed. Perhaps, you don't feel like you are sexy enough in bed. Possibly, this is your fs's energy I am picking up but I feel this is mostly you. Don't worry, your fs is gonna take care of everything. I am getting that they are going to bring out a side of you you didn't even know you had. They are gonna be so gentle and soft, and they will take their time. I am hearing "I've been waiting for this" which goes well with the Hanged Man in reverse, they can't wait to be with you for the first time but they aren't going to rush into anything, they will make it last for as long as they can. Your fs is going to try and look really cool and sexy for you, and they will, but inside they are being a total nerd like, "Oh my gosh Pile 4 looks so amazing and I am so lucky how the FUCK did I catch that?" that kinda stuff and it might spill out a little on the exterior through heavy blushing or smiles that break out. I am getting your fs may be the type to hold in their moans, so spirit is encouraging you to reassure them in being more loud and vocal. Speaking of being vocal, I am getting your fs will try anything you vocalize to them, if you want them to touch you a certain way, they will and they will do it with enthusiasm. If you want them to go hard/softer, they will follow your every command. I heard "We have all night." there is no rush for what you are doing and most things are on the table. Your fs is the opposite of selfish with you. With the Knight of Cups in reverse, your fs has a little bit of tsundere (someone who tries to be harsh but is actually really sweet, in case anyone doesn't know) energy but I feel like all their sweetness will show during this first night together. For those of y'all that do relate to the insecurities, I don't think this one night will fix all your problems with yourself since nobody can change the way you feel expect you, but I do feel like it will be the start of you appreciating yourself and your body more.

Advice Cards:

Be adventurous. It's time to go for it!

You may need to take a break from the situation or simply take rest

This challenge is intended to promote your growth

Considerable and consistent effort may now be required

Have a closer look at your family situation

You can manifest your heart's desire

You can make an important contribution

Channeled Song:

Pile 5

Cards: King of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Nine of Cups, Judgement rx, Strength rx, The Fool rx, Queen of Cups, The Star

Back of the Deck: Six of Pentacles

Hello my Pile 5's, for your first time with your fs, I'm not gonna lie the first thing I am getting is y'all will be exhausted QUICK because we have Strength in reverse. This could either be on your wedding night and you will be so exhausted from the whole day that you will be dragging yourselves to the hotel room, or you both will be working on something career related or an exhausting project, and it unexpectedly takes most of your energy for the day (for like 5% of y'all, you bang so hard that you are absolutely winded but for most of y'all it aint the latter lol). With the King of Swords, this doesn't feel like a random moment of passion, I feel like your fs and you will communicate with each other about how you want to spend the night together and make plans accordingly. Don't get me wrong Pile 5, it will mainly feel exhausting because of how good the sex is. With the Nine of Cups and the Star, this night will likely go exactly how you planned it. Even if you think you won't come, you absolutely will, probably way more than you thought you could. However, spirit is saying if you go into this night with really low expectations, you will be met with only awkward moments, but this is more a reminder to go into this night excited and try your best to push any butterflies you may feel away. For most of y'all, this pile feels like your first time with your fs will be comfortable and pleasing for both. I am getting major good communication energy from this pile and that will probably end up being the reason why this first night with your fs leaves a really good impression on both you, your fs and you will most likely being very compatible in bed, like more than most. Because of this communication, you will feel seen and protected in the arms of your lover. With the Fool in reverse, there is less of a playful energy, there definitely are nerves between the two of you, but its not shyness, just pure emotion and love. "It's like a work of art" is something they might say but I also feel like this is spirit saying the sex will be like art which I find so fascinating. I think out of all the piles, this one is the healthiest. Anyway, with the Queen of Cups, I'm hearing "two bodies melting together" so you and fs won't know where one begins and the other ends.

Advice Cards:

Get clear about your intention and hold firm

Expect good things to come to you

Pay attention to your breathing. It is reflecting your life

Awareness opens a field of possibility in your life

Make your presence felt

Love is the answer to your current situation

Deep, deep, deep down, something need attention

Hold your life from a sacred viewpoint. Witness the universal picture

Channeled Song:

Pile 6

Cards: Knight of Cups, Ten of Pentacles, Seven of Cups, Eights of Swords, Nine of Cups, Page of Pentacles rx, Ace of Cups, The Wheel of Fortune

Back of the Deck: King of Pentacles, Temperance

Pile 6, I am FUCKING SCREAMING. THE ENERGY IS EVERYTHING Y'ALL! Ok geez, this pile is sooo hot. With the Nine of Cups, this first time with your fs is almost exactly how you envisioned it. When I first started shuffling, spirit kept showing me shades of blue so before this experience, you might be very emotional, maybe a bit overwhelmed, I even heard some of you are going to be "ugly crying" (but I know all of y'all look beautiful when you cry ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊) The reason for why varies for everyone but I am getting you will be very emotional right before you start the deed. I am hearing some of you will be pouncing on each other as soon as you confess your feelings so right after you guys become official, you decide it's time to get naked. But this will feel so natural for y'all, there will be a lot of tension and unspoken words between y'all but when you get together it all explodes. With the lack of wand cards, this first time with your fs won't be lust it will be pure love and admiration for each other. Foreheads together, sweating and holding hands, on the verge of tears. Ugh y'all I am blushing. Pile 6, when you see your fs and how romantic, charming, and fucking gorgeous they will look in the moment, you will be internally screaming. Spirit keeps showing me the imagery of someone dressed in very formal attire white dress shirt, tie, climbing over their partner, harshly removing the tie, holding it in their mouth before using it to loosely tie their partner's hands together. Very casual bondage moment lol, I'm not getting a full on BDSM fantasy. It's so interesting cause this moment feels so soft and intimate but for y'all it will feel so sinful. The feeling I am getting is kinda of hard to describe. With the King of Pentacles and Temperance at the bottom of the deck with the addition of the WoF, y'all will equally give and receive. Your fs will make you come and then it's an immediate, almost desperate need to satisfy your partner. With the Ace of Cups, there will be multiple orgasms, I'm not getting in a way thats too overwhelming though. Y'all are wild but in a very vanilla way lmao. The kisses are very romantic but sooo messy. Spirit isn't giving me any specific positions or anything, the only thing I heard was "unique" so take that as you will. I also feel with the Ten of Pentacles, if it's possible, beware of pregnancy for this first time. I am getting a special shout out to my gay or bi men, extra confirmation this is your pile.

Advice Cards:

The conditions are primed. Yes, it can happen, and if you believe, it will!

Ask and you shall receive

Awareness opens a fields of possibility in your life

Get clear about your intentions and hold firm

Release all that keeps you in the past

Be adventurous. It's time to go for it!

Channeled Song: I also kept hearing Tyler the Creator and Beyonce and was disappointed to see they never collaborated but thought I'd share with the class

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! I know it has been WAYYY too long for this and I am really really sorry for those who have been waiting for a while. This pac has been very chaotic to work on so I hope it resonates well with you <3

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ pile 1 ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

hiphop queens oracle: rapsody - truth

wild unknown archetypes: the flame

tarot: the lovers

you love how they can see through games and tricks, whether it be yours or others. they are honest and tell the truth. they don’t gossip or play games and they don’t care about being liked, instead they care about being deeply trusted. and with this, they aren’t the type to say empty words or love-bomb, they say what they mean and so when they express their love it is rare and deeply felt. they don’t just share their affection with anyone. you and only you see them at their most intimate.

you like and quickly notice that they fuel you creatively, their ideas and energy inspire you. this person could be an artist, writer or entrepreneur. they are able to see the potential in the world and understand the power of creation. they don’t let you get away with avoiding responsibility or progression, they help you step into your power.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ pile 2 ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

hip hop queens oracle: tierra whack - innovation & gangsta boo - confidence

wild unknown archetypes: the eternal child

tarot - knight of cups

your future spouse makes you feel calm and like you can finally breathe when you’re around them. you like that they aren’t the type to take life too seriously, but they take you seriously. they have a way of blending playfulness with emotional intelligence, seemingly intuitively knowing why and how to playfully joke you out of your dark moods or just sit with you in silence when needed be. you love that the intimacy and closeness between you too isn’t something you have to work hard at at. there’s no awkwardness, it just builds naturally and before you know it you realize they feel like the safest place for you.

you like that they are confident in being themselves. they march to the beat of their own drum and never try to copy others to fit in. you love their strange habits, niche opinions, the little things they do when they think no one is watching. with this natural playful personality, you may expect them to be scattered or avoidant, but instead, they always show up consistently. they know how express their love for you in profound ways. they don’t cause or chase drama and they know how to avoid conflict.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ pile 3 ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

hip hop queens oracle: lauryn hill – inspiration

wild unknown archetypes: the unseen

tarot: eight of pentacles (reversed)

your future spouse has a kind of depth that’s hard to describe, you like that they’re private and don’t give everything away up front. getting to know them feels like working together to gain trust and uncovering who they are piece my piece. they place a lot of meaning behind small things, so to you, being close to them feels like being trusted with something secret and sacred.

you admire their mind, their thoughts run deep and they don’t always share their opinions on things, but when they do it’s clear they aren’t speaking mindlessly, they’ve thought about things deeply. they are insightful in a way that can feel spiritual or intuitive. you love that they don’t chase trends or validation from others. they are the type of person that empowers you to listen more and trust the power of the unknown.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ pile 4 ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

hip hop queens oracle: missy elliott – innovation

wild unknown archetypes: the mentor

tarot: king of wands

your future spouse is a natural born leader. you love how they take initiative and how they don’t wait for permission to go after what they want. they have a clear vision and direction. you’re very drawn to how they think. to you, their mind is sharp and quick. you will see them as someone who is “ahead of the curve” and think they come up with unique ideas. they make taking risks seem empowering. you love their originality and the way they remix life in their own way. there’s nothing watered down about them, they know who they are, what they want and that they have the ability to to change their life at any moment.

one of the things you really love most is their ability to teach without preaching. they want to see you win, and your loved ones win. they know how to help people and guide them down the right bath without sounding condescending or like a know-it-all. you will feel like being with them makes you better because they truly believe in you and empower you. you will start forming a belief in yourself you never knew you had.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ pile 5 ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

hip hop queens oracle: saweetie – style

wild unknown archetypes: the lover

tarot: the empress

you will feel you future spouse has a magnetic energy. you love their sensuality. the way they move, speak, and even the way they take up space in a room. they seem like they move a very intentional way. you think they know how to make an entrance and have an aura to them. you love how they express themselves through their aesthetic whether it be their clothes, scent of choice or how they decorate their space. they’re someone who cares a lot about pleasure, when it comes to how they live and it will make you feel comfortable indulging and doing the same.

you like how in touch they are with their body, desires and likes and dislikes. they’re affectionate, romantic and love giving you all of their attention. being with them feels like being chosen over and over again, you will always feel wanted. they have a soft and sensitive side and can make the most of hard times because of it.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ pile 6 ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

hip hop queens oracle: cupcakke – sexuality

wild unknown archetypes: the storm

tarot: the devil

your future spouse has a highly intense presence and energy. you find them raw, unapologetic about what they want and who they are and think this is incredibly attractive. their energy feels electric to you. they’re very sexually confident and don’t hide their desires from you. you love how bold they are in this way, the way they want what they want and do what they want without shame. this will bring out a side of you that feels wild and free.

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝔀𝓸

Alright pile two for you what immediately comes through is that your future spouse will be a great listener, they will make you feel heard and understood. This person won't be good at comforting with words, instead they comforting with actions; hugging you, holding you, rubbing your back gently and as already mentioned listening to you without interrupting you or making it about themselves. Their love language is definitely skinship and quality time. Your future spouse is very into music, they are the type to make a whole music Playlist just for you. They value deep conversations and are calm and peace oriented, isn't a drama person. For most of you this person will actually choose personality over looks, for the few others - even of they prioritize other things like looks, they will also only stay for personality, they might have higher standards because of their family or career not naturally in that case. Oh they are also the type of person to listen to songs depending on their mood, unless it's a song they just find catchy. They might be a hopeless romantic or just genuinely a bit cheesy. Your future spouse will give you compliments on multiple different things, not just your outfits, because they are attentive.

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

Pile three for you, your future spouse is someone who is fond of animals and/or little kids and for most of you they already have/had at least one (like either has/had an animal or for some of you has a child / has a very young family member that they help taking care of at times) that means that your future spouse is someone responsible and dependable. Like you can ask them for something and you know they will actually do it and not just say so. They will make you feel cherished and safe. Might be a bit overprotective of you, although nothing crazy or toxic just actually cares deeply about you. You will be their number 1. This person is very loyal and committed, they will love you with all their heart. For some of you this person has big goals in life, yet is grounded and reasonable. For the others, especially if you are a bit younger in general, this person will be a bit of a goof ball? at times like isn't too future oriented yet and is very playful and a bit awkward at time in a cute way you know, of course still very dependable and reliable! Your future spouse seems like a very empathic person with a gentle loving heart.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed my little pac! Please like and repost this to support our blog, thank you ♡ if you would like to support us by buying a reading from us or making a small donation through our ko-fiit would mean the world to us! <3

Pile I.

tw: suicidal thoughts, suicide, and triggering.

knight of swords reversed, queen of wands reversed, the wheel of fortune sideways, four of swords sideways, and chains.

When happiness arrives for you, you tend to allow your mind to drift away from the feeling. You do not allow your emotions to come forth, to show appreciation and gratitude for oneself and your hard work. Or how others helped you, how your intuition guided you, or how your religion helped you. Whatever the case is, you don't allow yourself to feel; you just go to the next situation like a horse would if they're running a race. You need to learn to appreciate the flaws that you have even when you get what you receive. Happiness comes to us in all different shapes and forms. For others it would be through success and money and it can also be winning a trophy. Even in my case, it is buying a book that makes me happy. In your case it's appreciating yourself for the little details about yourself, but you always nitpick every single thing, so how can you appreciate yourself? How can you enjoy the emotions and stay grounded if you keep sabotaging your happiness?

The fear that comes forth is a fear of sabotage. Now I understand that this sounds like, “oh, I'm afraid that if I sabotage so-and-so that I should be afraid of sabotaging myself instead, right?” No. The thing is that you have a fear of sabotaging yourself and then become scared that you're sabotaging yourself. It's kind of like making yourself the villain of your own story because you disrespect what you say and then nitpick and insult yourself in the past for the aftermath of now. Then when it comes to the future, you do it again in the same cycle that never ends. Think of the Wheel of Fortune. Not the tarot cards but the game—it spends each time someone spends it for the game but there are certain parts where there's a low income prize or you cannot get something out of it, it's the same thing like this: Each time you spin it, you keep making it hard for you to receive happiness because you keep expecting something new.

You cannot settle but you must settle. You must not think 'oh let me get this over with, let me go to the next thing.' You cannot go to the next thing, you have to settle down and feel the emotions. You also have an addiction to playing video games, using technology, or reading too much. Yeah, some of you are reading way too much, and you're procrastinating and sabotaging your other duties. You have to prioritize everything and keep it in balance. Think of healthy productivity. You cannot do everything all at once. You're limiting your potential, and you're causing yourself stress and this is the fear. This is the fear because you keep repeating your life on a loop and you don't take breaks. You must take breaks. It's okay to take breaks. It's normal to take breaks.

I know that you idolize other people, and you see, ‘oh they are so successful, so successful, so they must have been grinding the first time.’ No, they're not grinding so hard, they took breaks. Some of them may have not, but they have learned lessons to take breaks. You also see tarot readers who keep making posts, or they're doing paid readings, and then you feel jealousy because they're successful and you want to feel successful, but you cannot be successful if you keep at it. You're gonna burn yourself out and some of you are already burnt out as it is. You need to let it go, you need to let it go. You cannot go all the way straight in and do it—you must take breaks. Some of you even think that I grinded very hard when I did my readings, but I took breaks when I first started out.And then I became insecure and went at it, grinding so much. And I was not getting anything out of it. And now I don't grind as much as I used to. And I'm slowly going back into the same momentum as I used to. And seeing success slowly come to me. So it's a slow process. Everything is a slow process. You're going to have ups and downs all the time. But at the end of the day, you need to take breaks, and you need to prioritize yourself and take care of your emotions because if you don't and you don't surround yourself, you're going to burn out, and you're gonna quit completely.

You have two reverse cards. Honey, this is about taking breaks. You need that break. If you don't take that break, you're gonna get to the point where you're gonna start lying to yourself, you're gonna start causing trouble for yourself, and you're going to feel disgusted with yourself. This whole reading is that you need to learn to take breaks.

I know that when you have been in this mindset for so long that if you take a break, then you are not worthy of something in particular but in this circumstance you are worthy. And I know that you were conditioned to think this way and I'm sorry that you have. However, it is now your responsibility to take charge of your whole life and change your mindset because everything is about mindset. If you learn to nurture yourself, take care of your emotions and your mindset, then each time you do something simple like brushing your teeth or taking a shower, you are going to automatically thank yourself but it is going to be in your own way. But you have to start thanking yourself—you gotta become your own best friend, your own lover. Whatever you love, you gotta be that for yourself. You gotta stop loving things that are toxic. This is not for you. This should not be for you. This should not even be in your nature. You need to fuck off with those people that have treated you like crap, bullied you, made fun of you, conditioned you, whatever it is. Let them go. They are not worth your time. You are worth your own time. You have to respect yourself because if you don't respect yourself… you're gonna screw yourself in a pickle, and you're never going to return from everything—

People can burn out very quickly, but it's their responsibility to allow themselves to slow down and take a break. You feel guilt for taking a break but you should not feel guilt. Intuition tells me that “if you keep having this mindset where you feel guilty for taking breaks and you keep at it when you become an adult—not as of now, but like when you're in your 30s and 40s, and if you're in your 30s or 40s, then in your 50s and 60s. You'll come to the point where life has no meaning, and you will feel suicidal. You will feel so drained and exhausted. You won't think that life has meaning. You'll get to the point where you think that life should just be mindless, where you do a 9 to 5 job, where you don't do anything, and you're just... just like la la la, whatever, life is just life. You will become monotone and emotionless; you'll feel like you are devoid of your emotions. You won't feel anything and will literally chase to feel your emotions.” That is why I'm saying you need to learn to take breaks, and each time that you cannot take a break, remind yourself about this reading, or remind yourself of the time that you were burnt out in your life and how you allowed yourself to not feel burnt out anymore. What did you do exactly, how did you take care of yourself? You need to consider your past as the key to help you out with this notion.

You need to think of productivity as a reward system. Each time you're productive, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower, give yourself a small reward. It can be a cheat day. It could be one chocolate piece. It could be reading two or three chapters. It can be something small. And if you do something bigger, like finish your homework or finish two stacks of an essay or whatever, whatever. It doesn't matter. Give yourself a bigger reward. But it has to be genuine. You have to be genuine, and if you don't, you'll start to lie to yourself. And when you start to lie to yourself constantly, it's going to be so hard for you to get out of that cycle. Think of generational trauma. It's hard to get out of generational trauma because that is what you were taught and conditioned to have. So if you keep at it and if you have children, the same thing is going to happen. Do you really want your children to be like that? Or do you really want your future self to be like that? I don't think so.

You are at these pathways, there are two pathways… one is following what I'm telling you to a new path that I cannot spoil for you, and the other one is following your way that I can spoil for you, and it ends up with suicide. Now, I understand that the pathway I'm speaking about is very scary. I understand the fear of the unknown is scary as shitbags. But the thing is, if you follow the unknown, sometimes you're able to find lost roads. When you follow those lost roads, you come to a new place. Think about going to a new world each time. Each time you watch a movie or read a book, you are going to a new world (their world); you're experiencing the world that has a new path—your new path is your adventure. But the path that you're about to take is your demise. Is that what you truly want?

Intuition says, “I want you to think clearly about this. I want you to think rationally about this. I want you to think logically about this. I want you to think, think, think, think.” You need to really sit down with yourself and think. If you have to read this over and over and over and over until you're throwing up the words out of your head or whatever, do it. If you have to talk to yourself, talk to your comfort character, talk to your friends, or talk to someone that you trust then do it. If you have to vent to whatever, do it, but with their consent. That's your other problem. You need to respect other people's boundaries. You can't be entitled, you can be entitled to what you want, yeah, but you still have to think about other people's feelings. Be entitled to what you want, like money. Okay, money will come to you no problem, but if you're entitled about someone's feelings, it's not going to come for you. You're just being an asshole.

Intuition also says that “the wheel of fortune is in your hand. You can get the success you desire if you remove the jealousy and get forth what you want,” meaning that you have to do the work that you desire in order to get what you want. You cannot just sabotage your thoughts, sabotage your affirmation, sabotage subliminals, etc. You cannot do that. No. No, honey, you cannot do that. You're being a fucking asshole to yourself, and that's not what you deserve, okay?

Some of you are thinking that if you're a little bit harsh with yourself, you're being a cool person or you're being like everyone else—why do you have to feel like you have to be special? What do you gain from that? There's nothing. Everyone is special in their own ways, and everyone's special not in their own ways. Meaning we have flaws, we have two sides of us but also have many sides—it does not matter because the human mind is complex as it is. We are special in the things that we do and how we love ourselves, but we're not special when we don't love ourselves and we hurt other people. There are different hurts. You can hurt someone who's an asshole to you. There is no place for anyone to judge that because it's your experience, but if you're just hurting and bullying someone just for the fun of it, then you're not special at all. You're pathetic. It's that way, and I know for a fact you're not like that. I know for a fact that you don't understand boundaries because of a disorder that you have. I understand, I do. The thing and the reality is that you have to learn. You can learn by talking to other people, asking questions, looking online, and watching YouTube videos. You have to learn, you cannot disrespect people's boundaries and their feelings. You have to learn you're being unspecial, and I know a lot of you desire to be special, but the wheel of fortune is telling you to follow my path, but that is if you decide to follow it, and maybe if you keep following it and find different lost roads, eventually you'll find what you're looking for.

Intuition tells me that you're losing hope as you read this pac, you're feeling like life has no meaning again, and you're feeling a bit suicidal once more because it's not the answer that you seek. It's the answer that doesn't feel right to you, like everything has to work your way because you're manifesting it.

Intuition says, “I want you to stop manifesting for the things you desire and instead do the work. You're being lazy and unprofessional with yourself. You're being disrespectful to yourself. You can get what you want through manifestation, sure, but you also need to do the work. Because it's not physical work, it's mental work. How can you desire these affirmations that you keep affirming if you're changing your thoughts the next day? Why are you contradicting yourself? If you keep saying that you are successful and then the next day when it does not work and you say you're not successful, how are you supposed to manifest? You can't manifest then. To manifest is to affirm and follow through with your desires.” Meaning, if I were to say that I am successful for one day and then the next day and then the next and the following day and so forth, I will become successful. I will have the mindset of being successful, and I will gain it. But if I were to follow yours and say I'm successful, the next day I wouldn't, and the next day I'd get jealous and say I'm not successful. And then I say successful. Like, nothing's going to happen. There's going to be no momentum. Think of it with drawing. Let's say I’m drawing. And it's the first time I'm drawing. I'm not going to be good at it. I'm not going to be the best. I'm not going to be a beginner with it. I'm just going to make circles. It's going to look wonky. But it's not going to be that same momentum. And then the next day I draw, and then the next day, gradually in a month and a half or so, I'll probably get better; it won't be that wonky, but it's still not gonna be the best for my skills, and that's okay. But if I were to draw and do your method, I'd take a break because I failed. Then the next day, I would get jealous of other people, and then I would do it dry the same day, get angry with myself, and take a break again. That's gonna be the same thing. I'm not gonna gain anything.

Intuition says that, “I know you're triggered, but you must understand this is for your best benefit. You are being triggered for you to understand this world, to understand what you want in this world, and what your purpose is. Your purpose is to love yourself. Everyone's purpose is to love themselves, but they keep seeking other different purposes, and they forget one thing. It's to love themselves.”

You've come to a crossroad where everything I'm saying is very triggering, and you kind of just want to give up. You just want to forget about it, let it go, and make sure that it's something you never read before. You want to erase it out of your mind or whatever. But I'm going to be upfront, and I'm going to be harsh, and I'm not sorry.

If you keep allowing yourself not to feel emotions and allow yourself not to be triggered once in a while, you're going to get this mindset of perfection, and you're going to lose yourself. Each time you look back in your past, you will only see this perfect version of yourself, a fake, a mask, and you will never be able to tell the stories to yourself, to your children, or to whoever. If you keep lying to yourself about who you are right now and assume that you're perfect because of your stupid manifestation affirmations that you cannot even follow, then you are not going to get what you desire. You're not getting your success. You're not getting anything you desire. You have to do the mental work. If everything is about the mindset, then you need to follow through. You don't follow through then you don't get your success. You gotta stop being jealous. It's pathetic. I'm triggering you. I know and I have to trigger you. These are intuition words.

You have to be triggered. You have to be angry. You have to allow yourself to tell yourself that you're fucking scared like crazy. You have to scream at yourself, saying, "I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. I'm losing hope. I can't handle it. I can't act. I can't wear a mask with other people. I can't say I'm fucking fine. I'm scared." You have to be honest with yourself and if you are not honest with yourself—you will kill yourself.

Is that what you deserve…..?

Pile II.

tw: a mention of suicide and death.

five of cups, six of swords reversed, and three of wands.

Did you recently lose someone who meant the world to you? It could be a child, a child that was not born yet, a family member, or someone you did not know but in a way you feel connected to. And when you lost them, did you feel like hope had no meaning anymore, that if you were to hope again, the same situation would happen? Whenever you think about happiness in your past, do you get stuck in the past? Think that it would have been better if you never met the person, never met your partner, or never met the one who caused you a lot of pain. A lot of you are blaming the person's death for your grief, you have to let it go. It’s not on them that they died. No one has control over their death, not even those who commit suicide. So you have to let it go.

Your heart is so heavy. There's so much emotional baggage. Each time I look at your heart as I try to channel your energy for this reading, I keep seeing shards of glass illuminating, but there is only darkness surrounding it. And each time I try to move around to see the light, maybe in hopes of seeing if there's something more inside the shattered glass heart. But when I open it in my mind, there's nothing but a withered rose. There's so much pain in your heart. And you feel like if you were to love again, if you were to have another child, or if you were to meet someone new, that pain would come to you.

Everyone in this pile is afraid of love and happiness. Not romantic love, but emotional love. When you give your heart to someone each time, it seems like the world puts you at a crossroad and makes you have a decision whether or not to save them or yourself. Meaning, if you were to save them, you would be grieving as you are now. But if you were to save yourself, you would be able to let go of the past and how they are dead now and move on with your life. Moving on with your life does not make you a bad person. It does not make you evil. And it does not mean that you are betraying or abandoning them. It just means that you're doing justice for yourself. And the five of cups wants you to do that. It wants you to let go, let go of the suffering, and allow yourself to feel like it's going to be okay. Because it will. Not only is tarot saying it, but my intuition as well.

When I told you that everything was going to get better, that my tarot and my intuition even said so, ironically, I flipped the card and you got six of swords reversed. And I know that the intention on this card is not the best, but your life is kind of upside down as it is. If you really think about the card and you learn about it, you'll realize that it's giving you a warning. But if you read the energy of the card and you combine it with five of cups, you're gonna see that there is nothing for you to worry about. There's no need for you to cause yourself pain, to allow yourself to drift into worry. You don't have to make a deal with the devil in a metaphorical way. You don't. You just have to let go and allow yourself to heal. Because intuition says this card means a slow healing. And I know that healing takes a long time, but when you heal, you learn that it's okay to let go, to abandon who you once were, and to find someone new. And when you understand that who you are now is who you were meant to be and that if you allow yourself to keep growing as a person, you'll find beautiful flowers already planted in your heart that were never discovered. Because now I see the shattered heart that was illuminating the darkness—there are flowers, pretty flowers growing in the dark. They're protecting the heart, and it's rising up. But the illuminating glass is showing a door out, a pathway for you. So in a comical way, yes, the card is necessarily right in the generalized way, but energy-wise, it just means that you're learning to solely heal as you read this pac.

You're like water in a glass. Sometimes it will rock. If you move it, sometimes it will stay still, and sometimes it'll rock when it stays still. Healing is a slow process. It's exhausting. Sometimes it feels like there's gonna be a lack of progress. Sometimes you have to stand your ground with your inner thoughts. Sometimes your inner thoughts are not your friends, and sometimes your inner thoughts are your friends. You're gonna have to figure out what inner thought is yours and what inner thought is your pain, grief, or traumatic voice.

When I said that tarot and intuition say that everything is going to be okay, the three of wands confirmed it. And it was also when I shuffled my cards, it popped up. It showed up immediately. But when I channeled it, it proved my point and it's gonna prove their point. If you look up the meaning, basically, it literally explains exactly everything that's gonna happen to you. But if you're curious, that is, then look it up. Otherwise, I'll give you a summary. I don't wanna spoil everything for you, because I feel like if I did, it'd be kind of boring for you. So I know you guys are like this spontaneous gremlin that craves excitement for every single thing, and when there are spoilers, you kind of become bummed out, but then you like get yourself back up and boom. It's like you're very moody; you kind of remind me of Bokuto from Haikyuu.

Basically, when you follow this advice, intuition says that you're going to start traveling, not physically but mentally. You're going to travel to different sections of your past, learn lessons, and teach yourself how to be gentle with yourself. You're going to travel to your past and ask yourself what you're seeking. You're going to allow yourself to daydream. Some of you are super realistic, and now you're letting yourself be stuck in your head. Some of you even shamed yourself for being stuck in your head or others, but now you're learning that it's not a bad thing, it's actually a very beautiful thing. All of you are actually going to become self-assured with yourself and have this strong sense of love for yourself. You were so afraid of love for the longest time, and now that you are able to—almost all of you are healing yourself as you read this. It’s like your brain is changing its gears in your mind. The energy right now is so beautiful. I'm really happy for you.

Some of you prayed for this. Some of you seek an answer. Some of you just told yourself this is never going to happen. You're not going to get your answer. Some of you don't even believe in this stuff, and it appeared for you. That's what I'm saying. It's meant for you, and this energy is so beautiful.

The gears in your head are shifting, and you're going to… also for those who are not in a relationship, you’re gonna fall in love with someone so genuine. It's going to feel like a fairy tale; it's gonna feel like Prince Eric from Ariel, but like the best type of way, and you're also going to become like an angel, both metaphorically and not. Meaning that you're going to spread your wings and find your desired job, your desired career, and the things that you actually want to do. You're going to follow through no matter what, you're not even going to look back, but physically you're going to—

Think about that illuminating cracked heart (again) made of heart glass.. there are so many flowers right now it's literally packed, and what I meant by physically is that your energy is like the heart but protected with flowers—that you're gonna have this energy that you're just like so.. you'll be people's angel. Angel on their shoulder. I know that some of you don't believe in angels, but I'm serious. You will be their angel on their shoulder. You're going to become their comfort person. You're going to be comforting. You're going to make people feel safe. You're going to make people feel relaxed. You'll actually change people's lives with the careers that you do. Some of you will also become tarot readers too, or if you're thinking about it, do it. Don't look back. We all start somewhere. If you don't write a lot, that's okay too. If you write a lot, that's okay too. It does not matter. Do it.

But one thing is tarot wants you to understand that when the love comes to you, not romantically, but when the love comes to you, just accept it. You can be scared. You can let the doubt come. It doesn't matter. Just accept it. Say, “I accept.” That's all you have to do. Because it will take the biggest weight off your shoulders. You're still going to worry. But this worry is not a bad thing. Think about the past before you got scared of this stuff. You may have been worried about your job, school, people, how you're gonna talk to someone, homework, an essay coming up, etc., right? But now you're worried about the good things that are happening. Do you see how much of a change that is?