#freedomatters

"I got some shit I'd like to get off my chest. I spill out my soul, I spit out my stress" - J. Cole In this case though, I would cross out the word stress and replace it with "gratitude" instead. It seemed rather an appropriate time to contemplate over the events that have occurred these past twelve months and seeing as they have made me who I am today, I can't help but wish to describe them. If there is something I have realized about who I am now, it's that I am more appreciative of everything that I am. I used to be my own worst critic and now I just want to live with a purpose; live life purposely and with passion. I figured maybe my experiences could shed some beautiful truth onto someone else's situation so with that said, here I go with my attempt to explain my list of lessons learned. 2010, how I've loved you.

Sometimes we come across those moments in life where much needed answers seem nowhere to be found. Our minds become polluted with worry and anxiety because the decisions we have to face are not easy. It was in these moments I could never sit still. I swear, I never knew just how to be patient and the truth is that sometimes I still don't. I was always expecting answers to come to me overnight and then I would wake up in the morning disappointed because the truth still had not found me. No wonder I could never really find true peace of mind, I never trusted in myself enough to just close my eyes and commit to a free fall for a while. Every time I was faced with a hardship, I kept questioning why I was being tested instead of praying for the grace to pass through these tests. I realize my mistake now. There's no calm in a fucked up state-of-mind and people have never found comfort in their worries. Facts. But if you free your mind, let yourself go and detach yourself from all that outside chatter... everything just dawns on you. If you need to find peace of mind, simply pray for it with the sincere hope that it will come to you and it will. With the same persistence it takes to make a dream come true, the part of faith that comes alive begins with the genuine belief that nothing is impossible and this is something you must never stop believing. The most majestic moments in your life can happen when you are being tested and so often, we become so blinded by our fears and insecurities we forget to see those "tests" for what they really are: opportunities. It is in those moments when a diamond in the rough can be rendered priceless and a broken heart, once fixed, can become much more worth its weight than gold. Change begins with you.

"Take one step toward him, he takes two towards you" - Nas (Doo Rags)

If you don't let go of your past mistakes and regrets, you'll miss every opportunity to love yourself for all the moments you've done right. The simple truth behind staying happy begins  with the process of first learning to genuinely love yourself.

Don't let the wrongs others have committed against you define the person that you are. Judge yourself by the best of your own abilities and with the intention of always being the best you can be. Everything we say and do comes back to us so be delicate with your words and actions because there is nothing more real than karma. Put into the world what you want it to give back to you. Give love. Give joy. Give everything good.

I used to say and do things that I am not at all proud of. I hurt people and in return, I was hurt back. I judged others from lack of empathy and I was careless with their feelings. Sometimes I even took advantage of the fact that no matter what I did to these people, they would always be around. I just didn't know how to act. I realize that no matter what, we should never use our pain as an excuse to give someone else a heavy heart. I think about everyone who has lost someone in their life this past year and I feel all that trauma. Anything can happen so love the people in your life without reserve and don't forget to remind them how much they mean to you. Be honest and most of all be kind.