#freecollege

Day in and day out i find it more and more disgusting that we tie our healthcare system through peoples employment or through exuberant amounts of money. How you can have what they consider healthcare in the U.S but still end up paying 250 a session. a session in which your doctor and you discuss your mental state he prescribes you the wrong meds then telling you to return in a month. 10 mins of hard work! my mind doesn't add up where one gets that amount from 10 mins of me basically talking to myself? So after what 4 failed 10 min meetings which one did you think you'd get it right? A country that finds it ok to not give citizens basic needs like healthcare. And then has the nerve to wonder why so many of its citizens are dying, young, old lets not even mention Covid. I mean people who are dying because they cant afford life saving surgeries or life saving meds. People like myself who feel discouraged to seek any kind of help, because every time we (Me) try to get our mental health or our psychical health in line. It takes 8 years to finally see someone. For them to charge you and arm and a leg for minimal help all to either not be qualified for your care anymore, or lose the a job that healthcare was provided through employer, or not fitting the hourly requirement to qualify for benefits. Every time I feel like im on the right track getting my life in order, getting myself out of the dark abysess that is my day to day life. One of those things happens and all that progress goes down the drain. Why you may ask? the system is meant to keep me hopeless and is meant to keep stuck or feeling down. That's the whole point. Why give me the options to help myself not feel lost or trapped? When you could watch the darkness swallow me whole until it finally destroys me.

Got to love the american healthcare system, Run you dry with appointment after appointment charging you a kings randsom while not actually solving the issue or giving you the right things to solve those issues. All for it to be yanked away in one swift swoop leaving you once again thrown to the darkness at a time when you think the one thing you needed most was proper care.

So much for finally getting put on the right meds. One day this country will see the struggles we all go through and finally put its arm around its peiople and show actual care and suport. I just dont know if i will 

Land if the free, land of opportunity yet it keeps its citizens in mental bonds. Why do you think so many mid 20s people either die by their own hand or by control not of their own. They’re afraid to seek help because they know what follows, bill after bill after bill. They know it leads to debt so They don’t seek help. Help for the lump, help for the bump, help for the dark thoughts, the ones that pull you out of life, the ones that suck any drive or will from your being. The ones that make you wanna cease to exist. The help for all your issues, they don’t want you to have that help or they wouldn’t make it so hard to get

It’s sad to live in a place that claims to put its people first but is the first to put its people out to dry.

Asking for help ia frowned upon, giving help is as well. What and how is acceptable to help your fellow man? Why is this capitalistic system okay? Wolf eat wolf, every man for himself & fuck the lil guy mentally. Isn’t how a nation thrives, it’s how it’s rich survives while it’s young dies. There won’t be a plannet to inherit or save, not because our elders would of have destroyed it, but actually because our elders destroyed us. Killed our hopes and dreams and sometimes us. To keep the one thing going.

Wall streets and the corporations hold on the politicians strong so not a Single page of legislation that gets passed. Substantially helps your life or mine. So we’ll never get Medicare for all or free college. They’ll keep telling us it’s impossible. “We don’t have the budget” yet we’ve got the “BUDGET” to bomb the Middle East for 20 years straight destroy families and stealing recourses. In two pointless wars we lost years ago but we’re too scared too admit, that’s more important? Policing the world instead of lowering our over inflated military budget and helping out citizens

America ladies and gentlemen, America

                                                              --

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March 30, 2019 – 8:15 PM

I sit here, approximately one year and three months after my previous post, looking back on how my views and opinions have changed, adapted, and grown since I first started this blog in 2014. I wonder how it must all look to someone who doesn’t know me and has only my blog to judge me. Are there parts I would delete? Rewrite? Emphasize on? Maybe, but that’s not how a journal works, and I don’t think that’s how a blog should work, either.

 Who I am now is partially a result of the path I took to get here, and partially a result of who I am at my core—who I have always been—and I wouldn’t want to change any of the details after the fact. People tend to harbor regrets for the things that they have done, and the things that they have said, but despite my negative outlook on life, and my frequent bouts of depression, I refuse to regret. I have always striven to make the best choices I could given the information available to me at the time. Instead, I choose to learn from the past in an effort to improve the future.

 I actually sat down to write this post out of a desire to explain myself, and my situation, to potential employers, assuming I go forward with my latest ‘last ditch effort’. I apologize if my writing style is roundabout and rambling, but I do ask that you bear with me nevertheless.

 I’ve spent the previous four years of my life trying to find a way to get back to school, to move forward with my life, to make a positive difference in the world. I want to run for public office. I want to create a non-profit. I want for no one else to ever have to live the life that I have lived.

 I know that last wish is an impossible dream, yet it is still worth fighting for. I’ve found myself stymied at every turn, shunned, ignored, attacked, and often told that I will never succeed. My goal? To help other people who are zoosexually oriented be able to live a relatively normal, happy, life. I want to fight for acceptance. I want to fight for understanding. I want the world to look at people like me, and see not a freak or a monster, but rather see just another human. I want the world to stop judging people for how they were born; I want the world to finally understand that we all come into this world equally deserving of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s amazing to me how such a well-known and important phrase from the Declaration of Independence can be so readily disregarded by so many Americans when it comes to other people. We all believe that we deserve those rights for ourselves, but when it comes to the ‘other’, we all too often deem them unworthy.

. . .

 I dislike my city’s mayor.

She all too often sides with the wealthy and the corporations. She has never once stood at the front of anything, instead always choosing to let other people take the lead. When a crisis arises, she never knows how to proceed.

 The list is endless, really, and for progressives is quite damning. And yet, what can I do about it?

 I want to run for mayor, but I can’t. My orientation won’t let me, unless I’m willing to risk my life, the lives of my animal companions, and the lives of my family members.

 I dislike my district’s US Representative.

 I dislike my state’s US Senators.

 But I cannot run for either position. I cannot challenge them in primaries. I cannot challenge them in general elections. I cannot challenge their ideas. I cannot stand on a stage and debate them. I cannot oust them from their positions of power, and fight for the people, for the animals, and for the environment.

 I don’t have that privilege. I don’t have that right. I’ve committed the crime of being born attracted to animals instead of to humans.

 But that isn’t to say that I haven’t tried to acquire that privilege—I have; I’ve fought tooth and claw for the ability, through every path available to me, and come up short time and again.

 I’ve been building my network of political connections. I’ve been reaching out to organizations and people for help—organizations and people who make a business out of helping the LGBT+ community. The responses start out considerate and helpful, but promptly turn cold or disappear entirely upon mention of my orientation. The political connections whom I reach out to for help are more willing to be of assistance, but never find a way to actually be of any help. My friends and family are likewise incapable of assistance beyond emotional support and, in the case of my parents, a place to live.

 I keep trying.

 I submitted a scholarship application to the Point Foundation. They promptly turned me down.

 I’ve submitted another five scholarship applications locally. I’ve heard nothing in response.

 For these past four years I’ve been three classes short of being able to apply to Psychology Master’s and PhD programs around the country. And for these past four years I’ve been incapable of returning to school.

 If I had been born in another country, I would have tuition-free education. I would be in school right now, well into acquiring my first, or possibly even second, PhD.

 If I had been born in another state, I might have had tuition-free education by now. I live in Minnesota, a state that has long prided itself on its education system—undeservedly, in my opinion. We appear to be nowhere near having tuition-free education; and yet, Tennessee of all places just found their way to creating a program for it.

 I was told by my local government-run employment agency that they would pay my tuition for one final semester of school—up until the day before registration, when they changed their mind.

 . . .

 My depression is soul crushing. I feel as though I am weighted down by a thousand pounds of painful emotional baggage, and I can do nothing but continue on, day after day, night after night, through a Herculean effort that no one—not even myself—appreciates. It would be easier, and more rewarding, to simply give up and die.

 If I give up, though, who then will stand up and fight for others who share my orientation?

 And maybe that’s why we are where we are. Maybe that’s why people like me live in the shadows, afraid to step into the light. Maybe that’s why humanity’s atrocities and injustices proliferate throughout history—and why the fight for LGBT rights has been so difficult, so painful, and so very, very, late in arriving.

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