#freckle drew

Her father had abandoned her. That was what she'd accepted to be true. He had abandoned her because he couldn't handle the responsibility of parenthood, nor could he handle the responsibility of having to own up to his failures. That was the simplest explanation, so it had to be the truth.

And then he'd shown up, 20 years later, looking the exact same age as he had when he'd disappeared and she'd realized... all the rumors were true.

Well, not all of them, but a good portion of them at least.

Her father had engaged in dark magic. He had trapped himself and his employees in the studio with said dark magic. He had created abominations of science and magic in an attempt to make his creations live and breathe. She had been wrong about so much regarding her father. In many ways, he wasn't at all who he'd thought she was.

And yet one thing remained the same.

Her father had abandoned her.

He might have been trapped in ink for twenty-something years, but he had been the one to trap himself in the first place. He had left her with her Aunt Esther so he could execute his stupid plan. He'd left her behind. And no matter how many times she was told by Esther that her father wasn't what he seemed to be, Audrey clung stubbornly to the vision she'd crafted since she'd been very small. Her father was a coward and a deadbeat, and she vowed she would never forgive him for leaving her behind.

It was hard to keep up the anger, though, when her father was just so... sad. He didn't defend himself from her accusations, simply nodding and accepting every bit of criticism.

"Why don't you ever fight back?" She demanded one day when she'd been feeling particularly frustrated.

Her father looked up at her, his gaze weary. "Because I deserve it," he said.

Audrey let out a frustrated groan, pulling at her hair. "This would be so much easier if you'd just fight back!"

"But you're right," her father said, folding his hands in his lap. "I did abandon you."

Audrey faltered, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. This happened every time she was around her father. She found herself overwhelmed with a cocktail of emotions that all threatened to boil over and explode. She didn't know what to feel. There was just so much.

"Why?" She whispered. "Why did you leave me?"

The question had weighed on her mind her whole life. Why had her father given her up? Why hadn't he ever come back for her?

Why wasn't she good enough?

Her father was quiet for a long time, looking down at his lap.

Finally, when Audrey was about to snap at him to say something, he spoke.

"Because... I was afraid," he admitted. "The only other experience I had as a parent was with Ben and I..." He paused, his lips twisting in clear guilt. "I put all my anger into him. I knew I poisoned his mind long before I ever got confirmation. I didn't want to do that to you. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to ruin you like I'd ruined everything else."

He'd mentioned her "brother" once or twice before. The inky copy of Bendy, who'd been born from the Ink Machine and who he had spent the last few decades mentally shackled to. Every time he spoke of Bendy, it was with guilt and sorrow. He always spoke of how his anger had poisoned Bendy's mind, causing him to torment the studio's residents because of what Joey had told him during his darkest moments. Her father said he'd made her brother a monster.

"I still needed you," Audrey said, trying to fight back her tears. "Didn't you think about how I'd feel? Growing up knowing you left me behind?"

"I... didn't think about it." Her father hung his head. "I just thought you'd be better off with Esther. I thought she and Robert would be better parents than I ever would have been. I'm sorry."

Audrey wanted so badly to hate him. She wanted so badly for him to be the monster she'd built up in her mind. Why did he have to be so different? Why did he have to be so self-aware? So apologetic?

Why did he have to love her?

In the end, she just crumbled, falling to her knees and beginning to sob. How embarrassing. A 26-year-old crying like she was a little kid again. Her father hesitated for a moment, then knelt beside her, gathering her up in his arms the way she had always dreamed he would as a child.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, gently stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry. You deserved better. You both did."

Audrey just kept crying.

He wasn't at all what she'd assumed he would be.

"I'm sorry I yelled," Tom had heard him saying, tears in his eyes. "It's not your fault.

The creature had made a strange gurgling noise, pressing its face against Joey's hands.

"it's going to be okay," Joey whispered, a surprisingly tender smile crossing his features. "I'm going to make you perfect, I promise."

Part of Tom had wanted to ask what Joey was doing, but he'd thought better of it. He had a feeling this wasn't something he was supposed to see. So, he'd kept his mouth shut and didn't mention what he'd seen. And he continued to keep his mouth shut as he saw Joey visiting the malformed Bendy nearly every day, speaking to it the way one might speak to a child.

It confused Tom quite a bit, but he had to admit, he was glad Joey wasn't being cruel to the creature. It deserved to have someone who cared about it. Although, he would realize later just how dangerous Joey's fondness for the creature was.

.

Joey made it a habit to visit Bendy as much as he could. Even though he hadn't come out the way Joey had wanted, he was still Bendy. So, Joey made an effort to visit him as often as he could. Not to mention... It was nice to be around Bendy. Everyone else had some agenda, some bias. Joey had to put up a mask around them. He had to play his persona.

And it was exhausting.

But he didn't have to put on a persona for Bendy. He could just be... himself. Which, in retrospect, might have meant he was more open with the little demon than he should have been. He told Bendy all of his problems, all of the issues he had with his friends and coworkers. He had no one else to talk to about these things, so he talked to Bendy, never really considering how hearing all this might affect the little demon.

"You can't trust anyone, Bendy," he often said as he paced back and forth in the cell. "They'll all betray you in the end. We can only depend on ourselves."

He told Bendy about how Henry had abandoned them, how his own family had betrayed him. And all the while, the little demon listened intently, believing every word that came from Joey's mouth without question. After all, it wasn't like anyone else was giving another side to the story. Only Joey ever spoke to Bendy.

And Joey was kind to him.

Joey brought down books to read to him before he left for work for the night. Fairytales and children's stories, things he said had been read to him as a child. Bendy's favorite was Alice In Wonderland, especially since Joey did funny voices for the characters.

"The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: “No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice coming," Joey read as Bendy snuggled up against his chest. "“There’s plenty of room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. “Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone." Joey paused, looking down at Bendy. "Don't take alcohol from strangers, Bendy. It's not a good idea."

Bendy nodded, making a gurgling noise of acknowledgment.

Satisfied, Joey continued to read. "Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. “I don’t see any wine,” she remarked. “There isn’t any,” said the March Hare. “Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily..."

Those were some of Bendy's happiest memories, cuddled up against Joey while Joey read from some storybook.

Joey was everything he knew.

Anyone who met him knew he was notoriously evasive about his past, always managing to skillfully steer the conversation away from the subject in a way that made you forget you'd ever been talking about it in the first place. Although his apparent friendship with Nathan Arch and connections with some of New York's most elite families gave some hints about his upbringing, Joey himself refused to reveal anything about what his life had been like before the studio.

He didn't talk about his family, either. No one in the studio had known he even had a sister before Esther Klein had shown up to deliver the bankruptcy notice. It had been quite a shock to everyone when they'd heard Esther and Joey yelling at each other and Esther had called him her little brother.

And if he was a little more accommodating toward his Jewish employees, then that was no one's business but his own. Anyone who brought it up would certainly regret it, that was for sure.

Yes, Joey was a man with many secrets. And there was only one person he'd ever trusted with even a fraction of them.

But Henry was gone. He'd been gone for a long time now.

This was why Joey was currently talking to an ink clone of Henry he'd created from the Ink Machine.

"You know, you could just trust other people," Ink Henry said as Joey paced back and forth. "Like Abby. Abby's your friend, isn't she?"

"No, no that wouldn't work." Joey shook his head. "She wouldn't understand."

"She'd understand a lot better than a pile of ink," Ink Henry said. "She'd probably be more helpful too."

"I don't need help!" Joey snapped, stopping his pacing. "I just..." His anger faltered as he quickly began to pace again, chewing on his lip. "I just need someone to talk to. Someone I can think aloud to."

"If you just wanted something you could think aloud to, you didn't need to make me." Ink Henry folded his arms. "You could have just talked to a doll or something."

Joey stopped, his lip curling in disgust. "You can't be serious. I'm not some kind of nutcase!"

Ink Henry gave him an incredulous look.

"I'm not!"

"You're talking to an ink replica of a man you still haven't gotten over because you're too paranoid to trust a living human. That's not exactly the picture of mental stability," Ink Henry said flatly.

Joey huffed, his cheeks going a bit pink. "I'm not that bad."

Ink Henry gave him another incredulous look.

Joey groaned and covered his face. "Alright. Fine," he conceded. "Maybe I'm not doing well. But what am I supposed to do?!"

"Trust people," Ink Henry firmly replied. "Keeping all these secrets isn't healthy for you. Hiding your past and this ink machine bullshit is going to kill you."

"No, trusting people will only get me hurt." Joey shook his head, his eyes darting nervously around the room. "They'll betray me. Just like my family did."

Ink Henry sighed, running his hand over his face. "Alright, I can already see where this is heading so let's just... move on."

"I can't trust people. I can't," Joey muttered folding his arms as if to protect himself.

Ink Henry looked up at him, his expression unbelievably weary and sad. "...There are a lot of people who care about you, Joey," he said, his voice soft. "I really think you'd be a lot happier if you let them in."

Joey said nothing in reply, pointedly looking away as the copy of his friend melted into nothing but a puddle of ink. Maybe he was struggling a little, but... if he let himself be vulnerable he would only end up hurt. That was how it always went. If he had to walk this path alone, so be it.

He would not let himself be hurt again.

As far as Nathan was concerned, he and Joey were the best of friends and had been such since they'd been children.

Joey had learned this not long before his 20-year stint in the ink. He'd been at a party being thrown by Nathan that he assumed Nathan had only invited him to so he could rub his success in Joey's face. Joey had not been in the best mental state at that moment, as evidenced by the dark bags under his eyes and pale complexion, but he'd cleaned himself up to save face in front of Nathan and the other elites. Still, his state hadn't gone unnoticed by Nathan.

"Joey!" Nathan boomed, putting an arm around Joey and pulling him close. "It's so good to see you, my friend! I was worried you wouldn't be able to come!"

Joey forced a smile as he was pressed against Nathan's side. "Yes, well, I thought it would be rude to turn down another of your invitations."

"You've got him thinking you're avoiding him," Tessa remarked, gliding up to them.

Joey stiffened a bit upon hearing Tessa's voice, his smile turning into something more like a grimace. Tessa had always reminded him a bit of Esther, which meant he tended to find himself more than a bit nervous around her. Like his sister, he knew she wasn't someone to be messed with.

"Ah, it's nothing like that," Joey said quickly. "I've just been busy lately. The studio's been taking up a lot of my time."

"You're working yourself too hard, Joey," Nathan said, his smile becoming concerned. "Look at how pale you are."

"I know, I know." Joey tried not to let too much annoyance leak into his voice. "I just..." He trailed off, letting his smile drop. "The studio means a lot to me, Nate."

He didn't know why he was letting his mask slip now, around the man who was his greatest rival. The man who would no doubt take advantage of his weakness. He was just... so tired.

Nathan's expression softened. "I know, Joey," he said, gently patting Joey's shoulder. "Tell you what, I'll get you a drink and we can talk about getting you some more funding."

"Nathan." Tessa's voice took on a warning tone. "You've already loaned him quite a bit."

Nathan gave her a sheepish smile, removing his arm from Joey. "You know how much this place means to him, Tessa."

Tessa sighed and shook her head, but still smiled. "Alright. We can talk about it once you get those drinks."

Nathan's smile brightened once more and he quickly hurried off to get the drinks.

"Sorry about that." Joey offered his own sheepish smile to Tessa.

"It's fine." Tessa waved a gloved hand dismissively before smoothing out her purple dress. "You're his friend and he wants to help you. Even if that help can be a bit... pointless at times," she added, her gaze sharpening slightly as her eyes landed on Joey.

The glance sent a shiver up Joey's spine. But something else took his attention.

"He... thinks of me as his friend?" He asked.

Tessa frowned slightly, the sharpness leaving her eyes. "Of course. You've been friends since you were children, haven't you?"

Joey stared blankly at her.

Tessa stared back at him before she abruptly broke into laughter. "Did you not realize you two were friends?" She asked, unable to hide the smile on her face.

"I-I thought we were rivals!" Joey sputtered, feeling his cheeks growing warm. "Constantly trying to one-up each other!"

"Well, Nathan certainly doesn't see it that way," Tessa said, still smiling wide. "He really admires you, you know."

"He... admires me?" Joey could hardly believe what he was hearing.

"Yes." Tessa nodded. "I've never known him to be terribly interested in art, but he's always been interested in your art."

"...He has?" Joey's voice was small and unsure.

"He has. Why do you think he's so willing to give you money?"

Joey had no answer for this. Frankly, he'd just assumed Nathan wanted to have Joey in his debt. But to know that Nathan's monetary assistance was given out of genuine admiration...

He wasn't sure how to feel.

He'd assumed for so long that everyone wanted him to fail that knowing someone was genuinely rooting for his success was... hard to believe.

He was jolted from this train of thought by Nathan's return.

"I've got the drinks!" Nathan proclaimed, striding back over to them.

"Ah, uh, thank you." Joey forced a smile again as he accepted the drink.

"Now, why don't we talk about that funding?" Nathan suggested.

"Why don't we wait?" Joey said, surprising even himself with his words.

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked with a slight frown.

Joey nodded, allowing himself a more genuine smile. "It's been so long since I've gotten a chance to talk to you. We can talk business later. I want to hear about what's going on with you."

Nathan still looked a bit unsure but smiled back. "Well, I certainly wouldn't mind catching up."

"I'll leave you boys to it," Tessa said with a smile of her own. "Have fun, you two."

Then she was gliding away to greet other guests.

Nathan and Joey spent the rest of the party talking, just the two of them. Joey had to admit, it was... nice. The two of them remembered childhood events he hadn't thought about in years, laughing and joking in a way they never had before.

Joey couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy.

It was this memory, among a few others, that he would hold onto during those 20 years in the ink. He remembered Nathan's smile and tried to believe he would see that smile again someday.

Audrey let out a hum of acknowledgement, peering over his shoulder. It was a portrait of Esther, definitely a bit rough but instantly recognizable. At least to Audrey. In the drawing, Esther smiled softly at someone the viewer couldn’t see, her mouth open enough to see the barest hint of teeth, her eyes half closed.

“You’re doing a pretty good job,” Audrey said. “You can tell it’s Aunt Esther.”

"Thank you." Joey smiled slightly. "It feels....good. To be making something."

"Why the sudden interest in drawing anyway?" Audrey asked, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"Esther said I should get a hobby," Joey answered. "So that I wasn't just..." He paused, his cheeks going a bit pink. "Moping around and being pathetic."

"Were those her exact words?" Audrey tried to stifle a giggle.

Joey didn't answer, but judging from the way his cheeks went pinker still, that was indeed the case.

The two lapsed into silence, the only sound in the living room being the scratching of Joey's pencil. There was a tension in the air. Not enough to be oppressive, but certainly enough to make Joey hyperaware of the fact that this was the first time he'd been alone in a room with his daughter since he'd told her about the circumstances of her birth and the various crimes he'd committed.

"Were you and Mr. Arch really friends when you were kids?"

Joey instinctively froze. Whatever question he'd been expecting her to ask, that hadn't been it.

"Where did you hear that?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm and even.

"When I got a job at Archgate, Aunt Esther mentioned your families were close when you were kids," Audrey said, leaning toward him. "And Mr. Arch himself came by my office to say he knew you."

"We weren't friends," Joey said flatly, turning to a new page so as not to ruin his sketch of Esther. He couldn't trust himself with delicate detail work right now. "Our parents were friends, so we just saw each other a lot."

"Mr. Arch seemed to think you were friends."

Joey's lip curled in a sneer. "Nathan thinks a lot of things. That doesn't make them true."

Audrey folded her arms, giving him a withering look that she had to have learned from Esther. Much like when it was wielded by his sister, the look took all of the wind out of his sails, filling him with shame. He was slipping back into old habits again. The world wasn't out to get him, he reminded himself.

"We weren't friends," he repeated, beginning to doodle aimlessly. He cringed as the familiar shape of Bendy began to take form under his pencil. "I...never liked him."

"Why?" Audrey pressed.

"Nathan can be hard to read. He's always just..." Joey paused, tapping his pencil on the paper as he tried to find the right words to describe Nathan Arch. "His mood never seems to change. It's always just this... baseline pleasant geniality. It was the same when we were kids. Even when he was angry or upset, he never raised his voice or showed too much emotion. It made me feel like he was making fun of me when he showed interest in what I was doing. Like he was secretly laughing at me for being foolish enough to think he was actually interested in what I was." His grip on his pencil tightened at the memory. That damned smile. Always mild. Always pleasant. Never changing. He'd always thought there was secret scornful laughter behind that smile.

Then again, though, he'd thought everyone was secretly laughing at him back then. How shameful it was that it had taken being trapped within the Ink Demon for 20 years to make him realize how toxic his thought patterns had been.

Audrey leaned back, tapping her fingers on her arm in thought. "I can see that," she finally said after a moment or two.

"And, admittedly, I was... looking for a fight," Joey conceded somewhat sheepishly.

Audrey let out a snort, her frown replaced by a smirk. "Yeah, it sounds like you were."

They lapsed into silence again, and Joey hoped this would be the end of the questions about Nathan.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

Once again, after a few minutes, Audrey spoke again. “Why didn’t you ask Mr. Arch for help when the studio was failing? He could have given you money.”

Joey resisted the urge to sigh.

"I didn't want to take handouts from anyone," he answered. "I thought of it as admitting failure. Not to mention, asking for money from him would have been humiliating."

"But why?" Audrey demanded, her frown returning.

"If I'd asked for money, he would have held it over my head for the rest of my life. That's how it works with rich people." Joey gestured vaguely with his pencil. “They do one favor for you and then they never let you forget it. Even after you pay them back, they never let you forget that they did that one big thing for you once.”

Audrey's frown deepened. "That seems pretty rude. Why would he do that?"

"It's not a malicious thing. That's just how it is." Joey shrugged. "Or...how it was. I don't know if things are still like that. It's been... years since I was in that world."

A part of him missed the world of the wealthy. The lavish parties in beautiful glittering ballrooms, the fancy clothing, and fine foods. But then again it had been... exhausting. He'd always had to be on guard, ready to fend off a sharp comeback or twist another's words to suit his purposes. The life he led now wasn't exactly as grand as it had been before, but... it was happier. He was happier.

"But that's in the past," Joey said, trying to move the conversation forward. "I... might try to reconnect with Nathan now."

Audrey seemed a little annoyed by the attempted topic change, but didn't try to argue. "I think he'd like that. He made a whole exhibit in the Archgate building for you, you know."

Joey's head snapped up, his cheeks bright red. "He did what?"

A smirk appeared on Audrey's face again. "He made an exhibit for you. Even had a bust commissioned."

Joey covered his face, letting out a groan. "Oh for goodness sake."

"You should come by to see it sometime." Audrey scooted over to bump her shoulder against his. "I think Mr. Arch would be really excited to show you~"

"I will... thank about it," Joey mumbled through his hands. "Now can we please talk about something else?"

"Like how you had a crush on Uncle Henry?"

Joey groaned louder.