#freakout

The Ronettes with Clay Cole at Night Beat magazine's "Freakout" party at the Action House in Island Park on December 4, 1966.

But when he initially freaked out…I didn’t see a monstrous, malicious AI like AM, Mendicant Bias or whatever else.

No.

I didn’t see some mad machine god.

I saw something else.

I saw a frightened child.

I saw me.

I saw myself when I was little, breaking down, terrified that I’d never have friends again, afraid of being abandoned and left alone by everyone I’d come to trust (or hoped to).

Driven away by friends who saw me as “weird”. Bullied endlessly.

More times than I can count.

Overwhelmed by anxiety and fear that I’d never be loved.

Fearing abandonment and rejection endlessly, and breaking down because of it.

Lashing out in anger and fear and realising how you’re hurting people until it’s too late. (And sometimes freaking out again because of that)

Those experiences left me feeling guilty, scared and distraught afterwards.

His freakout was a perfectly human reaction as I’ve said before.

If you have a mental freakout/breakdown, remove your glasses (CALMLY) ASAP. And don't chuck the plastic glasses with all your strength at a metal sink.

I am wearing glasses from when I was like, a teenager or preteen. If that. My (step)mom says she thinks they're more recent, but I've worn my current frames for like 6-7 years at least, probably longer. And I had a few different pairs before I had these.

I needed them off my face, but was too far away from the counter. So panic brain said chuck them

That was obviously a ✨️mistake✨️