#fraysexual

These are just some ref sheets for artfight.

Fraysexual :)

Kinda contradicting ain’t it?

Shout out to my Frayromantic and Fraysexual fellas

Underlust (c) Undertale AU Community

Fraysexual- is only sexually attracted to people they have no emotional bond with. Sexual attraction fades (frays) upon forming a connection.

Francium is NOT a stupid element. Its most common isotope has a half-life of 22 minutes, which is low for a naturally occurring element. It is mainly formed from the decay of actinium.

Fraysexual flag , Frayromantic flag , Frayrose flag

Frayplatonic flag , Frayalterous flag

Fraysensual flag , Frayaesthetic flag

Frayamic / Frayattraction

I said, "ope, too late!" And woke up. I spent days feeling embarrassed and confused. He was just a coworker. A much older coworker. I didnt like him.

~

The second time i dreamt of him he wasn't even present. I was chatting with another coworker, a good friend of mine. He asked me what I could possibly like in that guy. I told him, "I dont like him so much as i just want him to skullfuck me, you know?" And then immediately, "Oh god ew, absolutely not, shut this dream down." I bolted awake feeling sick and knowing I was down bad. On a side note, I had never, until that point, really considered giving head. I didnt much understand how the giver would enjoy it. Well. I do think about it now.

~

There were many more after that. They always ended the same. You know how your brain doesn't know what dying is like so it can't write it into a dream, and you simply wake up if it comes to it? All of my advances led to me waking up, or the dream jump cutting to a different scene, or sometimes just fading to black. It doesnt know how to fill in the blanks. But it didnt stop me from trying, from hunting him down through my dreamscapes to beg him for something I need but cant bring myself to find in the waking world. And it is always me hunting him.

For some reason, I can never dredge up the names and faces of my favorite fictional characters in my dreams. The asexual in me sits in my stomach and twists itself in knots. I dont feel invalidated as an ace for having a crush, but I do feel something akin to guilt or shame over it. Again, not as an asexual, just as a human person, it feels gross to be having these thoughts about other human people. It feels barbaric and dehumanizing. Maybe that's what makes me asexual. Sometimes I wonder if it's a consent thing. Would I feel less gross if they knew? If they reciprocated? The thought of talking about this with anyone, let alone him, makes me want to jump off a bridge. So I let it fester in my stomach.

Sometimes in the dreamscape he exists more as a shard of my imagination than his real self, and sometimes he appears ultra HD and glowing and it makes me wonder if I'm the one in his dream. That would make more sense with how much effort I have to put into hunting him down. You'd think my own mind would be more agreeable to my own agenda. More often than not, as soon as I had found him, he would make a comment on my insatiability, or tell me "we're not having sex tonight".

"Oh, okay" I'd say back with my most innocent smile. "No sex. Sure. We can... talk or something."

He would sigh and roll his eyes but smile and let me lead him away.

~

Recently I dreamt I found him and he was angry. He snapped at me, "dont you ever have normal dreams? Like where you're not trying to get in my pants?"

I woke up purposely. It was as easy as hanging up a phone or closing a browser window. I didnt want to be in the dream asleep anymore so I quit out of it. I was hurt and confused and honestly? A little paranoid that I was astrally projecting into his dreams or whatever. And feeling extremely silly for letting a dream give me all these feelings.

~

It's been a long time since we worked together, two years maybe. I'm a very "out of sight, out of mind" person so I don't think of him much, not unless I happen to read a romance novel where the male lead shares his (unfortunately common) name. I only chase him sometimes, only when I'm in the throes of ovulation and am desperate for anything.

Last night I dreamt of him for the first time since he snapped at me. He was still angry. He tried to ignore me but I guess he saw i was also angry and wasn't trying to seduce him for once.

"Why are you acting like this?" I demanded.

"You spend all day trying to convince yourself you're not into me and all night trying to convince me to sleep with you! You need to make up your mind! Do you want me or not?"

I faltered. I wasn't expecting to hear I'm subconsciously confused. I thought i had accepted that i liked him aesthetically and generally didn't want much to do with him irl. I shook it off and went back on the attack.

"And you know that because you are part of me. I'm not in your dream and you are not here in mine." He shot me a Look at this point. "You are a slice of my subconscious. I'm in my brain and you are a part of it. So tell me why we aren't on the same page? If this is my subconscious, why is it arguing with me? Shouldnt-"

I guess he (I?) got tired of either my questions or my avoiding his point, because this is when he shoved his tongue down my throat to get me to stop talking. Ironic.