#foutch32

Dear Foutch32, 

No, spirits can’t just hijack a body. It works like a telephone line. You have to dial a number or... er call the name of the spirit, then they answer the call and they’re summoned. It works vice versa too, we still have to answer the call of the spirit before any channeling happens. 

Worst case scenario is if we do answer a call from a vengeful spirit, but we’re trained to not answer calls from spirits, unless we know them. It’s like learning how to only answer calls with the Caller ID of the person you know who’s calling you. There’s also sleep channeling, but that’s only an issue for beginners. 

.... and me when I first worked for Nick. Though, it did come with some crazy stories like the time I accidentally channeled his ancestor, while I was sleeping. It turned out it was because I had thought Nick had died in my dream and tried to channel him. Turns out, his ancestor has a similar name as him and I got Nick’s birth name wrong. Not my fault his birth name is in a foreign language. Luckily, Nick was there to cover for me.

(I guess that’d be called dialing the wrong number.)

(DISCLAIMER):

Now, I know everyone who’s pretty much of the “special snowflake variety’s” gonna hate my guts for sayin’ what I’m about to say,  but frankly, I don’t give a damn what that group of people call me (e.g., "cis male”, “homophobe”, etc.) or what they think since it’s pretty much baseless slander to shut someone up if they don’t like a person’s opinion.

I also would like to stress that I am just a guy throwing his thoughts out there, and frankly, I don’t care if Jack and Ashi ever got together or not; I’m NOT trying to personally attack anyone for their opinions, what I AM attacking is how utterly childish these people are in expressing their opinions. If you disagree with me at any time during this rant, that’s fine.

First Question (To the salty people who wrote things like this just because Jack and Ashi kissed at the end of Episode XCIX):

Why in the BLUE FUCK does Ashi and Jack being lovers bother you so goddamn much?

I honestly fail to see a point in all this rage over the pairing in a cartoon. Let me emphasize it again so you can see the problem here:

THESE GUYS ARE RAGING OVER A CANON PAIRING IN A CARTOON.

In case you don’t understand why I emphasize that, it’s because I honestly think it’s pathetic to whine, piss, and moan over a non-gay pairing, and on the other side of the playing field, I also think it’s utterly bullshit to whine and cry over a homosexual pairing. You guys are also aware that the situation might change in future episodes, right? I have no concrete proof of that, yes, but keep in mind anything could go. For instance, Jack and Ashi could break up in a future episode, Jack could lose Ashi in a fight, or vice-versa. The future isn’t always set in stone, y’know.

Second Question (To those who wanted Ashi to be in a lesbian relations with Flora, one of the Scotsman’s daughters and believe that Jack and Ashi’s relationship is equivalent to pedophilia because Jack’s older than her):

What I’d like to know, for those who wanted “Flora x Ashi” to be canon, my question is actually three parts:

Part 1: “Why exactly should they be together as opposed to Jack and Ashi being together? Just because you didn’t get your way doesn’t mean you have to go harass and threaten the writers of the show about Jack and Ashi being together or act so incredibly childish; that is not fair to put anyone through such harassment just because you hated something about the show.”

Part 2: “I’ve seen the Season 5 episodes, and I honestly don’t remember seeing Ashi interacting with Flora (correct me if I’m wrong on that), so what kind of chemistry do they have, exactly, that Jack and Ashi don’t? What exactly should make that canon as opposed to Jack and Ashi? In my honest opinion, Ruby and Sapphire from Steven Universe have far more chemistry together, and I don’t even watch much of the show, but I do read about it.”

Part 3: “Pedophilia? ...FUCKING REALLY? Those people hate the shipping so damn much that they try to say it’s pedophilia? That is a really, really weak argument.”

Now, about the pedophilia argument... Oh, my God... where do I even begin to tell you what’s wrong with that...?

First of all, Ashi is depicted to be a young woman, like late teens to early adulthood. Now, go back and take a look at Ashi... does Ashi look like a little girl who cannot consent to you? Ergo, she can choose to be or not to be in a relationship with Jack if she so desired; same point can be made for Flora and Ashi. I’d also like to point out that, yes, relationships between younger adults and elders can indeed happen in real life... so, from what I surmise, it sounds like you’re trying to say that all seniors who date younger men or women or what-have-you are all pedos. I guess they should all be outcasts of society, right?

Second of all, may I suggest you crack open a dictionary or go on websites that can define a word and look up the word pedophilia? If you do not feel like doing that, I’ll gladly do it for you and as an added bonus, I’ll spell out the meaning of every word in said definition... but then again, there are some people who like to twist words to suit their argument.

This was taken directly from the Merriam-Webster site using a Snipping Tool, no photoshop and no gimmicks. Now, then... let me ask you guys this in the context of the definition above...

Question 1: Has the show ever depicted Jack to be a sexual pervert who thinks about only children at any point in time of the five seasons?

Question 2: Have we seen, at any point in time during the show’s run, Jack ever falling in love with a child or sexually fantasizing about a child or engaging in a sex act with a child?

Now, do you understand why the pedophilia argument holds absolutely zero water? Let me emphasize one more time that, “Yes. Romantic and sexual relationships can and do exist between an older and younger person.” Pedophilia, however, I do not condone.

It’s moments like this that make me ashamed to be a fan of anything in general... it... it’s just downright pathetic, it really is... and frankly, I think they need to grow up, i.e. those who are teens/adults. To those people who didn’t get what they want, allow me to tell you this:

Dear Foutch,

The idea of a lawyer having those kinds of fans would feel awkward at best. I can understand Trucy, because she deals with entertainment, but I deal with the law. If I expect fans, they’re likely going to be the more... civil. I don’t know how Edgeworth deals with his fans, but I’m sure they’re not the kind you’re describing. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Though, I’m glad you’re liking the attention.

(Just so long as it’s not me.)

Dear Foutch,

Me, a lawyer?

That’s a hard to decision to make, even if it’s a hypothetical one.  Let me think...  Would I look cooler behind the defense’s bench, poking holes in the prosecutors’ logic, or behind the prosecutor’s bench, making the defense sweat their brains out with my angry glare?  Hmmm...

(Finger points or glaring, finger points or glaring...)

I dunno...  I guess I’d go with being a defense attorney, since I’m already a certified legal assistant.  Besides, who wouldn’t want to see a successor to someone as legendary as my Sis?  I bet I’d have clients from around the world asking for me!

Thanks for the compliment, by the way.  My position as Kurain Village’s new Master is pretty much set in stone unless something big happens, but I know Sis would be just as proud of me no matter what path I chose.  That’s one of the the biggest things that keeps me going, in fact.

That and my good looks, as you already mentioned.  Thanks for noticing.

Dear Foutch,

I will play along with your paradoxes for this question alone. 

You are right about my father not wanting blood upon my hands and that doing so would certainly wild up Franziska, but that isn’t the reason for why I wouldn’t extract revenge, if I was  ever given the chance. The reason may surprise you, but... I don’t have those kinds of feelings for Mr. Von Karma. 

Manfred Von Karma did kill my father, yes, but he also was my secondary father. He raised me from my youth and made me the man I am today. He cared for me in ways no one else ever did. To even point a gun or weapon of any kind would make me physically sick. I’ve already spent 15 years of my life invaded by nightmares of possibly killing my real father, why would I wish for that same dream towards Manfred Von Karma? I’d rather that bullet be placed upon myself than him. 

Make no mistake, I find it hard to forgive the man that holds the blood of my father upon his own hands, but extracting revenge by having his blood on my  hands would make me wish my own death. Not to say I have or haven’t before, but if I was to dream of murdering Manfred Von Karma, I would likely vomit in my sleep. Mr. Shields would likely be more of a willing candidate for these kinds of feelings than I.

(Not to say he would do it, but considering how he had considered me a traitor for being tutored under Manfred Von Karma, he likely harbors these feelings of vengeance.)

Dear Foutch, 

I was aware of Aura’s feelings for my mom and I know she would jump at the chance. Though, I can’t speak for my mom or how she felt. I know Dad died when I was very young and she never got over it completely, so.... I don’t know how I’d respond, if Mom was to date or marry Aura at some point. At the time she died, she was still mourning over Dad. 

As for the part about revenge, honestly, I can’t say. As where I am now, if I was ever given the chance to go back in time, I’d likely try to prevent my mother from being murdered over extracting revenge. For one, I’ve already been through my phase of wanting vengeance and I don’t want to return to that. Second, I... just wanna see my mommy. I don’t care what happens to the Phantom right now. 

Some things are just better left to rest.

Dear Foutch,

(“Mayades, Olympian Demigoddess of the Dead”...)

It sounds pretty cool, all right, but I’ll need to come up with a better title.  “Mayades” sounds like a hole-in-the-wall restaurant somewhere.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Foutch,

Let us be clear -- I have no interest in discussing my love life with strangers, either in seriousness or in jest.  Surely you can find better conversation topics when speaking with a judge?