#four's asks

First of all honeypie, great grammar and coherency, you don't need to apologise for anything. Secondly, AS A TRUE BRIT SHOULD!!! LET'S FUCKING GO LADS, WOOO BRITAIIIINNNN 💪💪🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧💪🇬🇧🇬🇧💪🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧💪💪💪‼️‼️‼️

Patriotism aside, I'm so glad you brought this to my attention, this is such a fun idea and I adore random kidnapping adoption AUs so I'm going to find literally the perfect reason for child-hater Shen Jiu to find this random baby demon and not just kill it on sight.

Okay, so. Shen Qingqiu, Shen Jiu, badly injured during a mission and basically just trying not to die because if he does, he can't blame it on Yue Qingyuan and he won't let that happen (or whatever reason he comes up with). He's got no qi, he's used up all of his stock when fighting because fucking hell that beast was not what he expected it to be (stupid villagers giving vague explanations of the monster so he believed it to be something entirely different), so he's basically stuck alone in this forest, trying to figure out which beast would come at him first.

Xiu Ya is in his weak hand, his only weapon against the creatures hiding in the shadows, ready to help maim anything that tries to attack its master. The first beast is too cocky, thinking that he's an easy target, but the dead body just brings in more beasts, all attracted by the scent of blood. Every kill becomes more of a struggle to complete, until it's hard to so much as raise his blade to meet the next beast, but he does the best he can as he hears something snapping twigs as it creeps closer.

Whatever monstrous creature he has been expecting to be his murderer, he does not expect it to be this strange little creature who looks rather human, but has these wings and a frankly shocking amount of rocks clutched in its small arms. They lock eyes for a moment, the thing making a sound that could be related to shock. Shen Jiu tenses up as the beast drops all of its rocks, but then the little creature begins to sort through them with more focus than his own disciples greet their work with, pushing them around and throwing a few back into the pile after careful inspection.

After a while of this, Xiu Ya almost wilting in Shen Jiu's grasp with how he begins to involuntarily loosen his grip on the hilt, the little creature suddenly moves and he tenses up again as it approaches. However, instead of getting too close to Xiu Ya, it just stares at him and holds out a rock. Of course, he's not going to trust this creature, so he jabs his blade forwards and the little beast darts back into the trees, but not without dropping the rock where it was just standing.

Now that the creature is gone, Shen Jiu glares down at the rock as he uses Xiu Ya to drag it over for closer inspection, which reveals it to not be a rock but a sort of crystal, one that Mu-shidi would swear helps with cultivation. Judging by the type of creature, it was likely a baby demon of sorts, unaware that it had given its easy prey a means of survival. Fucking moron.

Meanwhile, baby Crowyuan is confused by the crow demon who has no wings (not aware of what humans are) and why he's attacking him with the shiny metal (he wants it so bad, but it's obviously been claimed by this other demon), but he still wants to help!! He doesn't know much, but he knows the smell of blood and this demon reeks of it, and that isn't good at all. So, what does baby Crowyuan do? He goes looking for food to help this injured adult demon. His parents are going to be so impressed!!!...When he..finds where they went....

First, he starts with things he can reach, plucking different berries from bushes he knows are safe, grabbing a few plants that always helped him when he was super hungry, and even finding some sticks so that the demon can nest while it heals!!! He's such a good friend, even if the injured demon doesn't quite know it yet!

This goes on for a couple of days, with Shen Jiu becoming more confused as the little demon brings back more things that would aid his survival rather than prevent it. Hell, some of these plants were said to be extinct in all the books he's read about them, and yet here the little demon comes with them everyday, sometimes waving the sticks around in concern and then placing them down in what seems to be an organised pattern and then shuffles them over to him expectantly. It gets to the point where he doesn't even bother bringing Xiu Ya out of its sheath when the beast comes back, and yet the demon does not make any attempt to attack him when he's disarmed.

Eventually, of course, he is healed enough to go back to Cang Qiong and yell at his so-called ' 'shidimei and shixiong' for not noticing about his absence. He finds himself delaying his return however, waiting for the little demon to come back so he can...what? He doesn't know. When the little demon does come back, however, it's looking terrified and one of its little wings isn't moving properly on his back. He's crying and this is how the world is but this child hasn't even been near humans before, he doesn't deserve to be hurt by a world he's not even a part of-

MBJ got his hamster stolen from right under his nose lmao, and now he even has a wife and an adorable little babey. He should apply for second wife.

SQH doesn't have a single clue what's happening or why the sect leader is looking at his with murder in his eyes.

-Chablie

Hello Chablie hello hello Chablie hello. I've actually forgotten everything about this apart from the fact that we had the conversation and that Mobei-Jun is intent on one-upping Shen Jiu. NEVERMIND, I'VE UNLOCKED MY BRAIN. Okay so, see, the thing is, Shang Qinghua isn't married to Shen Jiu yet. Why is this? Shen Jiu is waiting for Shang Qinghua to finally ask him to marry him, and Shang Qinghua is like "damn I hope Shen-shixiong finds a husband so he doesn't have to resort to leaving little baby A-Yuan with me all the time." He thinks he's the worst babysitter ever while A-Yuan is toddling around and calling him Baba, all the while hissing and biting at anyone else who tries to interact with him because he Doesn't Like Humans. So, technically, it's more just an almost-baby trapping situation except it just misses the mark because Shang Qinghua thinks he's the place holder for a father until someone actually worthy of Shen Jiu comes along. Yue-Shixiong, please don't kill him, he's just not remotely a threat which is why A-Yuan likes him!!!

So. This means that, while Shen Jiu has a leg up in the competition, Mobei-Jun still has a shot of being first wife. He's been courting Shang Qinghua longer, and this little human will not stop him from getting his little rat husband. If a child is what has drawn Shang Qinghua's attention away from him, then a child is what Mobei-Jun needs to find. Of course, this is found in the form of toddler Luo Binghe, who looks a lot like Shang Qinghua (much more than the human's child), and goes pretty easily because "wow that's a big demon and oh okay I'm being picked up now. I'm two I have no idea what's going on." He takes his child back to Shang Qinghua and goes "our child. Take responsibility." Shang Qinghua doesn't even realise this is Luo Binghe at first and so legitimately assumes that that's his kid without ANY question because hey they did hold hands that one time, maybe demon biology is different-

Hello Anon, I do want to thank you for your ask because I'm about to become brutal to this poor guy. NOT YOU, Yue Qingyuan. Okay, so Yue Qingyuan would certainly try to be the father that stepped up, but it just would NOT stick. First of all, baby Crowyuan is terrified of humans as it is (thanks, Liu Qingge), and Yue Qingyuan is a massive powerhouse. While other humans are easily settled because of how he hunches his shoulders and smiles sweetly, Crowyuan's danger instinct goes OFF and the moment he's in the same room as Yue Qingyuan, he starts bawling. Poor man is crushed by this, and he's all like "I'm going to KILL MYSELF" every time it happens because what do you mean a child, especially Xiao-Jiu's child, is scared of him?! He's like a soggy dog and people can't look at him too long because it's like "oh..that poor thing..." Meanwhile, Mu Qingfang is in the background like "Jesus Fucking Christ" because his sect leader is coming to him like "how do I make myself less scary?? :("

If A-Yuan has so many crow like tendencies, would SQQ get him amenities for crows? Like a perch, bird bath and whateverse else crows need. Or is he getting him more baby stuff? A mixture of the two? (This is merely an excuse to get you talking more about A-Yuan and SQQ's life together)

I bet Papa SQQ brings his son to class because he doesn't trust anyone with his babey.

Henlo Chablie! Thank yew for the ask, of course. Or well, it WAS a THANKS before you YELLED AT ME FOR NOT ANSWERING YOUR ASK. YEAH. CALLING YOU OUT. PUTTING YOU ON BLAST. YOU'RE LUCKY I'M ANSWERING THIS. (/silly) Anyway the literal moment that Shen Jiu is like "yeah this is my son now", he's carrying the baby with him all the way to An Ding to add a new section to the budget - Child Spending. A-Yuan is his baby, and will be spoiled ROTTEN because Shen Jiu never was and he was a fucked up child. Shang Qinghua hears boss music and just slides down beneath his desk because maybe if he hides, he can avoid the boss battle. Of course, that has never worked in games, why on earth would it work in real life? Shen Jiu comes storming in, reaches beneath the desk and drags Shang Qinghua out kicking and screaming to force him to deal with the situation he's bringing to him. Baby A-Yuan watches his new baba drag out this strange man and (quite intuitively) decides that this human is not scary because he's weak and pathetic and cries a lot. Plus, he has those demonic instincts ingrained in him so he sees the rough handling of the man and goes "ahhhh baba's got a boyfriend" because he's one smart little cookie!! Anyway, instead of listening to Shang Qinghua's stuttering greetings, Shen Jiu just places A-Yuan onto the desk and lets him stare at the man for a while.

Shang Qinghua can only stare at the baby for a few seconds before he becomes irreparably weak to him and he's like "fuck you're so right you should have so much more money, A-Jiu." After a bonk on the head with a fan, Shen Jiu goes back to Qing Jing with a smug look in his eyes because yes, he very much knows how to get the budget working in his favour without having to go to stupid Yue Qingyuan! The moment this money is handed over to him, he is writing letters fucking everywhere. That random in-depth study session on crows really helps him out when it comes to buying things for his baby. He also thinks about everything that he ever wanted as a child, and buys all of that as well. Where is all the money coming from? Listen. LISTEN. Bai Zhan is basically a peak full of animals anyway, they don't need that much for the peak, not with Liu Qingge being paid in the adrenaline that comes from fighting and the children only accepting food and weapons as payment because honestly, Bai Zhan is filled with really weird as fuck kids - Liu Qingge really knows how to fucking pick them-

The imposter is sus

i was thinking, after shen yuan has finally made it to the CQM, both for the protagonist and hopefully to cultivate a true human form, it's only logical to keep an eye on the scum villain, you know, to make sure that he isn't going to be filleted into a tender piece of crow meat!

but while shen yuan thinks he's being super inconspicuous, sitting on the roof, shen qingqiu has slowly started to look forward to seeing the crow when he comes back. it's always there, and overall a quiet and gentle creature that doesn't bother anyone, but does seem to like hanging around shen qingqiu's house. maybe in his head shen qingqiu starts to think of it as "his bird", and he starts leaving it bits of food (not obviously, but more like he "accidentally" forgot to bring the dish back inside). he starts getting protective over it too, like one time maybe yue qingyuan comes by and sees the bird, and tries to make it sit on his hand or smth, and shen qingqiu gets all huffy bc "it's just a bird it can't hear you, it won't come to you!"

shen yuan starts to notice that shen qingqiu's mood seems to improve around him (which, huh???), so he plays it up a little bit by flying down from the roof to the porch railing when shen qingqiu comes home, or cawing to him in greeting. shen qingqiu sometimes reaches out his hand to perch on, but though shen yuan never does, it doesn't make sqq angry (sqq knows how difficult trust is to earn), until maybe one day shen yuan surprises them both by perching on his arm, and oh well guess he's the scum villain's bird now??

SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as a half-human half-crow-demon Phantom thief character.

He doesn’t want to steal from Bing-ge, but his System makes him, and naturally Bing-ge ends up obsessed. Bing-ge keeps luring him into traps with shiny things he just can’t help but want!!! Stupid crow impulses. (That he kinda wants to see Binghe again is irrelevant, obviously).

Crowyuan, with a little Shen Jiu and Yue Qi clinging to his robes while holding his fan: A fan.