#found audio

[Transcript starts.]

W: “So I heard you're my new neighbor on this lil’ old part of the world!”

M: "Yes! Finally my magical abilities are being recognized!" 

W: “Magic eh? So you don't use any special effects at all?”

M: "None at all, just pure genuine magic!." 

W: “Oh, wonderful, wonderful! Truly a man after my own heart! I'd looove to watch it sometime!”

M: "You're just in luck, I have a show coming up, why don't you be my guest?"

W: “That's a grand idea! Consider me already seated in the room!”

M: “I’ll save you a seat!”

First entry: 

<Hello? Hi, I--Yes, I think it’s on. Captain’s log, cycle one of the E. S. Iphigenia’s voyage to the Deimos military base in the Bellona system. This is Admiral Alala Tann. We are agents of DOLOS, a private warfare company, going to assist the Federation in its fight against the insurgents. This is my--well, actually this is my first mission of this calibre. 150 troops, at my command. It’s exhilarating. I’m ready to fight! I will gladly give my life for my people. Uh, well, my crew is clearly not as thrilled about my new position as I am. I can tell they’re uneasy about me. The head engineer, Zelos, seems particularly rebellious. I should watch him--for signs of mutiny, you know? Anyway, this is my first DOLOS mission with, you know, consequences. Gysthus, this is also my first long-term mission outside of Earth. It’s a little scary, that I won’t see my family for at least five years. Hell, there’s no guarantee I’ll ever see them again. But that’s war, right? Can’t make an omelette without cracking a few nutrition storage pods. It’ll be fine. I asked for this. This was my choice.

Anyway, I’ll try to keep this log as frequently as I can. DOLOS wants me to, apparently it helps with accountability and all that. I’m trying to get in with my crew, but it isn’t easy. It’s particularly tough when you’re a small town, Earth-native human. All I can do is try. Admiral Tann out.>

Second entry: 

<Captain’s log, cycle five onboard the E. S. Iphigenia. Admiral Alala Tann. We’re on course to arrive at our first checkpoint. I was talking to Brizo, our navigator, about out upcoming passage through the Antaeus Asteroid Belt. That’s the big one, the nasty one. I hate to admit it, but, uh, I’m kind of nervous about this asteroid belt. Every other vessel I’ve commanded was small enough to go over it, but it looks like we’re going to be forced to go through it. Brizo reassured me that she’d done this a thousand times and it would be okay. I like Brizo. She has a--a calming, motherly presence. I trust her. 

In other news, I think I’m making friends. Kakia, a lieutenant drone pilot conversed with me in the mess hall. Gysthus, I hate that mess hall. It feels like high school all over again. Anyway, she came and asked me about myself. 

‘So, Admiral, where are you from?’ She asked.

‘Earth. America, specifically,’ I said. 

‘Wow. I’ve heard it’s beautiful.’ She lowered her eyes and picked at her food. I could tell she was lying.

I laughed. ‘You and only you. It’s a wasteland. Most of Earth is. I love it, though.’ 

She smiled. ‘I get that. I’m from DOLOS, more than anything.’

‘Oh really? What do you mean?’

‘Well, my parents are from Quirinus, but I was born on the base. More or less never left. My parents were high-ranking DOLOS agents. DOLOS was all I ever knew.’

‘They must be very proud of you,’ I said. 

The smile melted off her face. ‘I sure hope so. They went missing three years ago.’

I didn’t know what to say. 'I--I’m so sorry, I--’

‘It’s okay.' She looked off distantly. ‘That’s part of why I became a pilot. Maybe, if I travel across the galaxy, I just might find them.’

I could tell she didn’t want to talk anymore. 

She still sat and talked with me every day. And slowly, I think people are starting to warm up to me. Brizo talks with us too. Others chime in every now and again. I still can’t seem to get through to Zelos though. One day. Admiral Tann out.>

Third entry:

<Captain’s log, cycle nineteen. Admiral Alala Tann onboard the E. S. Iphigenia. There’s, uh, there’s a problem. Brizo says there’s been some unexpected asteroid movement. I-It seems another, independent ship was struck by an asteroid, which is tragic, but it also means that it redirected the course of an asteroid, which is now heading right for us. Brizo told me not to worry, but Gysthus, it’s massive. At least twice the size of our ship, and the Iphigenia is no dinghy. Brizo said we may be able to redirect our course, but it’s going to be tricky. We’d have to improvise the entire rest of our path through the asteroids. Navigation says they can do it. I have no choice but to put my trust in Brizo. 

I’m told that it’ll be fine. We have very capable navigators. And I don’t distrust them. I’m just--it’s my first real mission. And--and I don’t want to mess it up. I can tell navigation can tell that I’m nervous. I’m not trying to offend them. I can’t help it. 

Well, there’s not much I can do besides take the problem head on. Come on, Tann, you’re better than this. Navigation is working on it. It will be fine. Admiral Tann out.>

Fourth entry: 

<Captain’s log, cycle twenty. It’s bad. It’s really bad. Brizo cannot redirect our course, we’re surrounded by volatile asteroids. One rock knocked off course can trigger a chain of events in hundreds. There’s no way to predict it. At least, not with navigation’s tech. I haven’t told the crew. I know they’ll riot. I know I have to. It’s not like me to run away from a setback like this. I feel like a little girl again. But I’m not. I’m not helpless, I am competent, I am the captain of this ship, and I will lead my crew to safety. We’ve been filling the escape pods with supplies. I keep dodging glances from my suspicious crew. Zelos in particular can tell I’m on edge. I don’t know if he’s also anxious or if he’s just waiting for me to screw up so he can prove he’s right about me. I can work this out. It’s fine. Admiral Tann out.>

Fifth entry:

<Captain’s log, cycle twenty-one. It’s not fine. It’s super not fine. 

The asteroid stuck us today. And I hadn’t even told the crew anything was wrong. 

It struck at 300 hours. The first thing we heard was alarms blaring. I was on my sleeping shift, but I wasn’t getting much sleep anyway. I lept to my feet. It was time. 

I raced through the corridors, ignoring the questions from the crew. They were filling the hallways, a turbulent mass of riotous bodies running for their lives. I made it to the cockpit and grabbed the microphone for the announcement system.

‘All personnel report to the escape pods on the starboard side. The ship is in imminent danger from asteroid collision.’

I could hear the din from the cockpit. I took a deep breath, and stepped back out.

I was instantly bombarded with people. I could hear Zelos’ voice above all others. ‘What’s going on? What’s happening? Did you know about this?’

I stayed silent.

‘You did. Why didn’t you say anything?’ he roared.

‘Brizo told me it would work out.’ My voice was rising.

‘She always says that, that incompetent...You have a duty to inform us of all--’

‘You do not speak to your commanding officer that way. Report to the escape pods immediately!’

And he did. I darted around the ship, dodging bodies and questions. I got as much food and supplies as I could and shoved it into various escape pods. The crew crammed themselves in. Each of the fifteen pods could hold ten people comfortably, more than enough room for our crew. Each person brought as much of their things as they could, and when the cargo bays were full, they shoveled them into the compartments where people sat. 

I wish I knew what was happening to the ship. Because the simulated gravity is calibrated to the ship, we can’t feel movement in the ships path, meaning we can’t feel when we get struck. 

When nearly everyone had crammed into an escape pod, Brizo stopped me. ‘We can’t leave.’

‘What? Brizo, we have to go.’ 

‘The asteroids are projected to drive down, about thirty degrees from the ship in ten minutes. If we leave now, the escape pods to be smashed to smithereens.’

I looked at her. The people in escape pods were glancing around nervously. Some looked at me, right in the eyes, as if they were begging to let them go.

Brizo took me by the shoulder and turned me to face her. ‘Admiral Tann. Alala. Trust me.’ 

I turned to the escape pods. ‘We’ll depart in fifteen minutes.’ I call.

Pandemonium erupted. Zelos, still ushering stragglers into pods, cried out at me: ‘Are you crazy? We have to get out now. The ship is falling apart. An asteroid has already pierced the hull, it’s only a matter of time before our air supply starts leaking.’ 

I turned to him, my hands clenched into fists. ‘Stand down. The chief navigator has stated--’

He cut me off. The nerve on that man. ‘The same chief navigator that lead us into an asteroid field? This is her fault in the first place. Admiral Tann, requesting permission to release the first eight escape pods.’

I stared at him. I looked back to Brizo. She looked at me, pleadingly, mouthing trust me. I looked down. If the hull was pierced, the slightest tap could cause an air leak. The hand I had on the wall of the bay vibrated. We’d been struck again. 

‘Permission granted.’ 

Brizo’s face fell. ‘No!’ she cried, but Zelos had already authorized the pods to depart. The doors sealed shut and ejected into the nothingness. As I stared out the window, time seemed to slow down.

A massive, gray, craggy asteroid, easily the size of the ship, smashed through the row of escape pods. The debris rocketed in every direction. There was--I saw--dear Gysthus, there was so much. I saw everything. Blood, guts, metal, luggage, food, uniforms, buttons, water units, shrapnel, everything. I was still. I didn’t feel like I was there. There was screaming around me, but I couldn’t feel anything. It was like I was watching myself, like I was in a dream. My...my crew. They were gone. Not all of them. Half of them. 

I was distantly aware that I had fallen to the floor. Brizo was pulling my arm, yelling something. I stood. Zelos was in my face, in a rage. He was screaming something but I head nothing. All I saw was smashed skull, flesh peeling off and hair burning up, scorched into the back of my eyelids. Before I knew it was on the master escape pod, the one where the leaders sit, so the master navigator can control the actions of all the escape pods. Well, now only half the escape pods. Without speaking to anyone, I sat in the cockpit. I’ve been here ever since. In the rush, I couldn’t take any of my personal belongings. It’s just me, the clothes on my back, and the metal wristband on my arm. I guess this captain’s log is all I have. If I can even allow myself to call myself a captain. No captain lets half their crew die. No captain ignores their subordinates like that. What a captain I am. These escape pods are programmed to take us to the nearest habited planet. So until then, all I can do is sit and stew. We’ll see what comes next. Alala out.>

Sixth entry:

<Captain’s log, cycle thirty-five. We’ve finally reached a habitable planet. After days of not making eye contact with my crew, we land. We’re on a gorgeous planet, and we’ve landed near some friendly villagers who have thankfully taken us in. Their technology is very basic, almost crude. I can’t help but wonder how a planet in contact with interplanetary travellers can be so primitive. But the wildlife is lush and green, with abundant flora and breathtaking geography. Of course, I can’t appreciate it. All I see is that skull. Wherever I look, whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is that bubbling flesh ripping at the seams.

A local healer, Paean, has been my main company. He’s quiet, sensitive, and will listen to me. He’s heard my story about how I killed half my crew, and somehow still sits with me. It’s nice. I haven’t spoken much to my crew. Kakia has tried to talk, but I know she’ll just chastise me. I can’t look Brizo in the eye. Zelos steers clear of me. He seems to share my guilt. I don’t know how I feel about that. 

I was walking with Paean one day, when we came by some rubble. 

‘What’s that?’ I said, picking my way over rocks to observe the ruin.

‘Oh, that’s just the ruins of the old civilization. We--uh, we don’t like to talk about it.’ Paean stayed where he was while I investigated.

I found a curved piece of metal. The DOLOS logo, a delta inside a lambda, was fading from the outside. I frowned. I had seen a hunk of metal like that before. The technology at the village was primitive enough that I hadn’t expected to find something so recent. 

‘This--this is so...modern,’ I said, ‘I haven’t seen anything like it back at your village.’

He visibly stiffens. ‘That’s--well--’

‘Where did this rubble come from? Do you all know about this? Are there other people here with this technology?’

‘Alala, I don’t think you should--’

I turn, marching towards him. 'Paean! What are you hiding from me?' 

Sufficiently intimidated, he caves. ‘Cipros, I’ll tell you! Just relax.'

I smile. He sits on a rock, and I do the same.

‘Not so long ago, this planet was just as advanced as any other. We had technology almost equivalent to Earth. Of course, any advanced civilization will eventually be consumed by another. Colonization, and all that.’

I nod. Happened to every planet in our solar system that wasn’t Earth. They start out as human colonies or alien civilization and then one day a company like DOLOS buys them out. There are some casualties, but that’s just how it goes. It’s natural. Honestly, it’s better that way. DOLOS what any society needs better than the unsophisticated locals. 

'So we were bought out. By DOLOS. You’re familiar?'

'Yes, quite.' I hadn’t mentioned that we worked for them. A phenomenal decision, looking back. 

'It was okay at first. It usually is. But soon they started putting price tags on everything.'

'Well, it makes sense. They have to make a profit somehow.' he shoots me a look. I think that was rather insensitive.

'Sure. well, they started pricing all our crops, our livestock, even our water. We were paying some other company to buy the things that we grew. And the prices kept rising and rising until we just couldn’t pay it. There was no way. We were making a fraction of that money DOLOS sent it for. So we took it. It’s not like it was stealing, it’s the food we grew.'

I’m still not sure if I agree with that. 

'And of course, DOLOS found out. People who wrong DOLOS don’t usually end up alright on the other side. We fought. It was an ugly battle. Both sides committed atrocities we dare not speak of. Everyone you will meet either fought in it or lost someone to it. Needless to say, DOLOS eviscerated us. Razed us. Leveled all our cities. Poisoned our plants and animals. It was like we never existed.'

My hands clutching the curved surface stiffened. It clicked into my brain. This piece of metal was a bombshell.

'We don’t talk about it much because, well, because why would we? We know what happened. We tell our children in hushed tones. The few of us that survived created a new society, like primordial cave people. It’s been--it’s been hard. We’ve been trying to build back our tech, but it’s hard with so little metal and all our tools destroyed. But we’ll survive. We’ll thrive one day. And some day, we dream of bringing down DOLOS.’

I was speechless. I knew DOLOS did what it had to do, but--but--I don’t know, I can’t imagine something like...something like that happening. DOLOS isn’t evil. They can’t be! I’ve lived my life dreaming of one day working for them. They are heroes back on Earth. They made Earth a universal power. They’re our one claim to fame. DOLOS is my everything. They can’t...there’s no way they’re evil. 

But I saw it. I saw the rubble. I saw the DOLOS logo burned into the shell of a bomb. I-I need some time to think about this. 

Still, I told my crew. In my first ever address to them, I swallowed my fear, braced myself, and stood. I tried to be brave, to be fierce. I faced my crew and told them what happened. I told them what I had learned about this place and that we would have to leave as soon as possible, and to never tell any villager who we work for. Zelos and his engineers had already started work on repairing and refueling the escape pods. 

Meanwhile, I had an apology to give. I tracked down Brizo working on the autopilot on the escape pods and pulled her aside.

I squared my shoulders. 'Brizo, I owe you an apology. I should have listened. And because of my actions, half the crew is--’ my voice broke ‘--half of our crew has been killed.' My words were almost robotic. 

Brizo was stiff. 'Thank you, Captain. May I return to my work?'

I nodded. I’m going to have to work on the heartfelt stuff. Until then, Admiral Tann out.>

Seventh entry:

<Captain’s log, cycle fifty-one. The escape pods are repaired! I’ve had some time to think, and I think I have a plan. I can’t keep working for DOLOS. After what they did to Paean’s planet, I can’t work with a company that does that. There are a lot of things about DOLOS that would seem inhumanly cruel if done by anyone else. DOLOS is a company that sells war. Is that a company I want to work for? I used to think war was a noble, beautiful thing. I don’t know why. After watching this village for so long, I know what war does. War kills. It wounds, it maims irreperably. These people, they--well, war has defined their lives. I can see it. The way a mother cringes when we ask for her husband. The way children pucker when we ask to meet their mom. The way they start a sentence, say ‘is,’ then trail off. Not ‘is.’ ‘Was.’ You can tell they aren’t used to these now homes. They bump into things, trip, like their home has something against them. It’s horrible. And I don’t want to contribute to a company that gets away with that. 

The insurgents always seemed like an abstract, distant concept, a group of insane people fighting for the sake of fighting. Now...well, I can kind of understand. Of course, you never really understand until you experience it. I’m not going to go joining them, of course, but still. I may want to help. My crew feels the same way. After I told them what DOLOS had done, I think they were sympathetic to my cause. And so, I told them the plan.

We can’t keep fighting for DOLOS, that much is clear. And we aren’t going to go joining the rebellion. So I said, we’d report to the checkpoint we were expected at on Dodona, refuel, maybe buy a better aircraft, then turn around and head right for Earth. As far as DOLOS knows, we all died in an asteroid crash and were never seen again. They seemed to agree. Some crew members decided to stay. I had a feeling they were happy to get away from me. Thankfully, Zelos remained. We need all the hands we can get. I bid goodbye to Paean, who helped us restock what supplies we could. So we boarded our escape pods, and that’s where we are now, bound for Dodona. All we can really do is hope, at this point. I just want to get home. I have a lot to think about. Alala out.>

Eighth entry:

<Captain’s log, cycle sixty-nine. Gysthus save me, we’ve been through a lot in the past cycle. There was--well--we--Gysthus, it’s been eventful. I guess I’ll start at the top.

When we were just four cycles from Dodona, our escape pods started to break down, because of course they did. Thankfully, a DOLOS ship was passing by. Brizo, bless her, was able to establish a communication signal with them. We told them we were part of a DOLOS ship that had been destroyed by asteroids, which was the truth. They didn’t have to know about the whole ‘ignoring direct orders’ thing. Thankfully they let us board, and said they could take a quick detour to drop us off at Dodona. I was so grateful, I don’t think I noticed that every crewperson from that ship who spoke sounded exactly the same. 

We boarded the ship. Immediately, we knew something was wrong. 

‘Welcome, crew, this is the D. S. Thalassa.’ the crewman who greeted us seemed to be very...chill. He spoke with little change in tone, almost robotic. His eyes were half-lidded and glazed. As we boarded, we came to notice that they were all like that. And the most uncanny thing was that no matter what person, no matter what species or gender, everyone sounded exactly the same. Their voices were nearly identical. Scratch that, they were identical. As if one person spoke from many mouths. When we talked to people about themselves, the quickly turned the conversation around, as if they had no history or personality. The captain, Kratos, seemed to be more animated. But still, with his chilled out voice and smile with too many teeth, I didn’t trust him. And for good reason. 

As soon as we boarded, things started going wrong. Pieces of wall and ceiling would fall on crewmembers. People would trip over things that weren’t there a second ago. And these people, though languid, acted with incredible force. Every touch and push was just a little too rough, every handshake too tight. They tripped us and pushed us and nudged us over gaps. And though we had our own healers and supplies, they continually insisted we go to their sick bay. We never let anyone, thank God.

Eventually, we got fed up. I had to confront the captain. Gysthus knows I didn’t want to. I am not a coward, but this man creeped me out. He felt like a ringleader of a brainwashed circus. But after...after what happened, I have to protect my crew. I knocked on the captain’s door. 

He sat behind a comically large desk with a massive holoscreen in front of it. 

‘Kratos.’

He turned.

'What’s going on? Your crew doesn’t seem entirely healthy.'

He smiled. I shuddered. Too many teeth. 'Oh, they’re just like that. They’re very chill, you know. But they get the job done.'

'They’ve been trying to harm my fr--my crew.'

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Now that can’t be true.’

‘They insisted my lieutenant eat one specific dish. When she gave the food to another of your crewmen, he passed out.'

'We have excellent cuisine here, they’re allowed to recommend their favorites, no?'

'They tried to push me out a window.'

‘They just want you to take in the view!’

‘Listen here, Kratos,’ my hand went to my electron phaser. 'You’re hiding something, and you’re going to tell me what’s up.'

His smile faded. 'I think it’s time you go.'

I walked closer. I drew my phaser. 'I think it’s time you start talking.'

I stalked towards him, aiming my phaser. Before I could get close, he drew a dagger, ready to throw. I froze. We were at a standstill. 

‘Young admiral, you still have much to learn.' He moved first, lightning fast. He pushed towards me and tried to strike, but I bobbed out of the way and rolled behind the desk. He rammed into the desk and I used the barrel of my phaser to knock the knife from his hand. It clatters to the floor. I grabbed it. 

‘Now, you’re going to tell me what I want to--’ he sprung up, grabbing for my gun. I slashed with the dagger. 

He let out a strangled cry and fell to his knees, clutching his arm. I made a pretty deep incision, it seemed. Blood splattered onto the floor. I hesitated. 

‘Now you’ve...now you’ve really done it.’ He laughed. I was not sure what to do. I wasn’t exactly used to slicing up other ally captains in my free time. 

A funny look crossed his face. I wasn’t sure what was happening until I heard footsteps. The crew was coming, I realized. Somehow, Kratos had summoned the crew to come tear me to smithereens. I had to find out how, and quick. I started searching the desk for a button, a switch, anything. I looked at the holoscreen, but it was in some language I had never seen before. 

‘You’d better—‘ Kratos started.

‘Can it!’ I kicked him. The back of his head slammed into the desk. 

Suddenly, the footsteps stopped. I heard confused, dazed voices. Different voices. 

‘You’ve—what have you done?’ He croaked. 

‘Don’t be dramatic. Get up.’ I kicked him again. 

The doors burst open. A mob stood in the hall, about to strike. 

‘Please, I’m not trying to—‘ they cut me off. 

‘There he is!’

‘He did this!’ 

‘Get him!’

I barely had time to duck out of my way as the mob pours in and starts attacking Kratos. I wasn’t fond of the guy, but watching him be brutally torn apart by a mob was a little...much. 

Soon after, they told me and the rest of my crew that they were part of a hivemind controlled by Kratos via an implant in his brain. Some kind of failed DOLOS experiment. He adds people to his hivemind by injuring them, and then while they’re unconscious in the sick bay, implanting a chip in their brains. Most of them weren’t even soldiers. You see the weirdest stuff out here. 

Thankfully, they said they would actually take us to Dodona. So hopefully they’ll follow through. I’d hate to have to instigate another revolution. Gysthus, I miss Earth. At this point, all I want is to return home. To see my family. Part of me wants to retire, quit, get a new job. Another part says this is my duty. A soldier endures. I can endure this. Maybe what I miss isn’t Earth, but stability. I keep getting thrown from hardship to hardship. Maybe I just want to live quietly, as a farmer or something. Three isn’t much I have in terms of skill that would be useful on Earth. I do miss that stability, though. 

Things are still terse with my crew. I still haven’t reconciled with Brizo. At this point, Kakia is my only friend. I’m just glad she still respects me. Alala out.>

Ninth entry:

<Cycle 81. Something bad happened. I think...I think there’s a mole in my crew. 

Let’s—I—okay, let me explain. 

Today I got a call from DOLOS. They called Kratos’ holoscreen and asked the first mate at his desk for me. 

I stepped in. ‘Yes?’

A mousy-looking DOLOS agent stared back at me through small glasses. ‘Admiral Alala Tann.’

My blood runs cold. ‘This is she.’ My brain is moving fast. How do I get out of this?

‘You have a lot to explain.’

‘Yes! Yes. I am so glad you got to me, I’ve been trying to get in touch with your people!’

‘Really.’ It was more of a statement then a question. 

‘Yes. Our ship crashed into an asteroid! We got into the escape pods but half of us were destroyed by asteroids. The few survivors of my crew managed to get passage here.’

‘Interesting. You claim to have attempted to contact us but haven’t gotten through?’

‘That’s correct.’

They wrote something on a holopad in front of them. The silence screamed in my ears. 

‘Hm. Admiral Tann, I’m sensing some inconsistencies in your story. You and your crew are to report immediately to the DOLOS base on Quirinus.’

‘But—‘

‘Thank you, Admiral Tann.’

And they closed the line. I sat back in Kratos’ chair. Gysthus, what am I going to do?

I’ve talked it over with Kakia. 

‘—and they want me to go to Quirinus. I figured you’d have some insight, being from there.’ 

She cocked her head. ‘Quirinus? You can’t go to Quirinus! That’s where they send dissidents.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. I’ve seen it. They take them into this chamber and then poof. They cooperate. They're happy. They’re fixed.’ She leaned in and whispered, ‘They’re brainwashed.’

‘Yeah, I got it. I guess...I guess we just proceed to Dodona, huh?’ 

She nodded. 

‘And...I think there’s a mole on the ship.’

Her eyes went wide. ‘What?’

‘I mean, I never told DOLOS we were on this ship, but they found us anyway. All DOLOS tech and provided uniforms are long gone, so there’s no way they tracked us here. Should I start investigating?’

‘No! You can’t let them know you’re onto them! Those DOLOS moles are tricky. If you find them out, they’ll rat you out immediately and you will be terminated. As long as the mole thinks they’re still a secret, you’re safe. I’ve been with DOLOS a while, and as soon as a secret agent gets discovered, they take down the whole mission.’

‘So...I should just do nothing?’

‘I hate to say it, but that’s all you can do.’

And that’s what we’re doing. Alala out.>

Tenth entry:

<cycle 124. There’s...there’s...sorry, I’m panting. There’s...a lot to talk about this time. I’m just gonna jump in. 

We’d made it to Dodona, and the original crew of the D. S. Thalassa let themselves out at the first checkpoint before landing. The first mate actually sold the ship to me. He claimed he wasn’t a real soldier anyway, the crew was made up of whatever laypeople Kratos could find. They booked passage back to their various home planets. We requested to dock on the DOLOS base. Naturally, because nothing is easy here, they recognized me. They locked us in a tractor beam and pulled us to what was essentially the brig of the base. Not the proper prison, which they do have, just the brig. They put us in baby jail. 

Thankfully, that means security was very lax. There were no alarm sounds, no flashing lights. Just us with a couple of security guards. Security guards we could definitely take down. 

Thinking on my feet, I grabbed the only people on the deck with me. Kakia, Brizo, and Zelos. Naturally. Brizo is back on my side, though. Still, there’s an awkward air when we together. You can feel the things we aren’t saying hanging in the air like moisture. 

‘Okay, here’s the plan. We’re gonna break into the baby jail control system and reverse the tractor beam that has our ship to a repulsor beam.’

They paused, as if waiting for more. ‘That’s it?’ Asked Zelos, ‘that’s your plan?’ 

I almost chastised him for talking back, but stopped myself. I laughed. ‘Do you have a better one?’

He was silent. I didn’t think so. 

‘That’s a great idea,’ Kakia said. I could see the gears turning in her brain. I hated to shut her down. 

‘Sorry, lieutenant, but I need someone to lead the crew if we get caught.’

‘What?’ She said, ‘Me? What about your first mate?’

‘He’s dead, soldier.’ 

‘But--I’m from here! I know the place. How are you going to get around?’

‘That might help.’ I pointed through the windscreen to the map on the chamber’s wall. 

She sputtered. 

‘We don’t have time to waste. Zelos, Brizo, grab yourself some weapons. We have thirty minutes before the DOLOS agents come for us. Move!’ 

We armed up. Zelos had his miscellaneous gadgets on his belt, Brizo had her phaser and I had mine and my newly added dagger. The gangway descended right between the two guards standing watch. We took them down with ease. We scouted around for any more, but it seemed we were alone. I could hear activity down the main corridor. We raided the unconscious bodies of the guards for their weapons and strapped into their armor. With their helmets on, we were indistinguishable from the other guards. 

After taking a snapshot of the map, we marched down the corridor, nodding at any guards we passed. No one questioned us, thank Gysthus. We joined a growing stream of troops filing towards the main control room. 

When we got there, our hearts sank. The room was crawling with troops, scientists, and commanders. Brizo and Zelos could locate the panel controlling the brig tractor beam, but there were too many people around to mess with it. 

I pulled Brizo and Zelos in. ‘Okay. I’m going to create a diversion, you guys reverse the beam and get back to the ship. Don’t wait for me.’

‘Captain, we aren’t going to leave without you,’ Brizo said.

‘Officer, I appreciate it, but this is bigger than me. This is about you. It’s about our crew. I’ve been...well you know I haven’t been the best captain. But I promised I would do anything for my men, for my people, and this is it. Now, we don’t have any time. Go.’

And before they could say anything, I was off. 

For the distraction, I had an idea. Being a soldier who’s a human, a woman, et cetera, I know how to clock people. I know how to assess who’s a threat and who’s just talking big game. Before me, a hulking frame stood looking down on another two heads shorter than him. He was more than as twice as tall as me. If I had to guess, he was probably a Shohli. Shohli are tough, value respect, and don’t feel emotions nearly the same as humans. This makes them ruthless soldiers. Somehow, I knew this guy wasn’t like that. Maybe it was the way he hesitated when he spoke, like he doubted himself, or the way he drew himself up to appear taller, but I could tell he was not all he looked. Starting a fight with him could draw soldiers, and if I got him to smash enough stuff, the scientists would come too. 

I squared my shoulders and marched up to him. ‘Hey! Big shot!’

He turned. He was listening. That was step one.

‘I heard what you said about Sheila!’ 

That was a gamble.

‘What? I love Sheila!’ 

Jackpot. 

‘Don’t be smart with me!’

I tried to shove him. I couldn’t really reach is shoulders, so I just went for the knees and hoped. He buckled back, crashing into a panel of buttons. People came running. I glanced over at Zelos and Brizo. There were still too many. I shove him a few more times. He’s still not fighting back, which is good.

I cried, ‘You don’t talk about her that way! I knew you were a piece of--’ 

He crashed into another set of panels.

‘--from the moment you walked in! You’re nothing like they say you are! You don’t even know what you’re doing!’

Crash after crash. He had landed on his back at this point.

‘Hey! Please, don’t--what are you--shove off!’ He shoved me back. I nearly flew across the room. I rammed into a screen, and something in my back cracks. Hope that wasn’t important. That got me some more attention. Another glance showed Brizo and Zelos had started tapping away at keyboards and buttons. Things were going well. 

Then he punched me in the gut. 

I felt the air leave my lungs. I was on my knees, I couldn’t get up. He loomed above me.

‘I don’t know who you are, or who you think I am, but you have to stop this.’ He was bellowing. The whole room was watching. I glanced over, and Zelos and Brizo were gone. My work was done.

‘Hey, man, I’m sorry. I heard it from that guy over there.’ I point.

He whips around. ‘Doug! What the--’

When attention had turned, I slipped out from the room and staggered down the halls, still reeling from that punch. I was clutching my gut. I thought one of my ribs had broken. I’d have to get that checked out. 

I was moving as fast as I could down corridors. People around me were grabbing me, yelling at me, but I just keep running. I saw phasers trained on me. I saw angry faces. I just kept moving. 

I finally, finally broke into the brig chamber. The ship was already hovering, but the gangway was lowered. There was time. 

I sprinted to the gangway, jumped, but by fingertips just grazed the cool metal. It rose, higher and higher. It was a lost cause. I felt myself sink. Guards were yelling behind me, gaining on me. I saw people inside the doorway of the ship; I saw Kakia, Brizo, and Zelos. Zelos was fiddling with his equipment. He tossed something down at me, and it clattered to my feet.

‘Use this! It’s a...like...repulsor beam but weaker...the presser...more concentrated…’ I couldn’t hear him over the roar of the engines. ‘Press the blue button!’

Press the blue button… I looked down. It was a small rod with a flared end pointing toward the ground. It had a handle like a screwdriver with a blue and a red button. 

My ribs ached. It felt like every bone in my torso had been liquified. A guard grabbed my shoulder. ‘You’re coming with--’ I pressed the blue button.

I rocketed into the air, shaking the guard from me, just high enough to grab the rising end of the gangway. I swung myself into the cabin as the gangway closed. I saw at least half the crew gathered around me. They were cheering. I could barely hear them. They were congratulating me. 

Zelos clapped me on the back. ‘Almost had us worried there, Captain. I have to admit, it worked out.’ 

I smiled, and handed him back the tool. ‘Thanks, but...what is it?’

His eyes lit up. ‘It’s a presser beam! It’s actually one of my own inventions. It’s like a repulsor beam, like the one that’s repelling our ship right now, but smaller nad more concentrated. This means that it can bear less loads, but creates more force.’

‘That’s...really cool. You folks down at engineering are doing good work.’ He smiled.

‘You really did it,’ Kakia said, ‘you really pulled it off. You really are something, Alala.’ She smiled. 

‘Yeah,’ Brizo added, ‘you’re doing pretty well for yourself. You’ve messed up but...you got us this far. And I...I trust you’ll bring us to safety.’ 

I tried my best to thank them, but all I could get out was “h--’ before I collapsed to the floor. 

I’m in the sick bay, healing up. The plan for now is to circle the planet until we find a non-DOLOS base to dock at. Brizo’s more or less taken over at this point. That’s fine. I’m resting up. Healing from my three broken ribs. Yup, three of my twelve ribs. That one Shohli broke one quarter of my ribs. Over Sheila. 

I think this journey is finally reaching its conclusion. For the first time, the end is in sight. And I can’t wait. Alala out.>

Eleventh entry:

<Cycle 151. We’ve been circling the planet, and finally found a neutral base to dock at. We quickly learned that ‘neutral’ is really code for ‘insurgent.’ They weren’t too happy to see a ship with a massive DOLOS logo on it, but we were able to convince them that we were with them. I guess we’re as good as insurgents. May as well join the rebellion entirely at this point. Well, we were able to park our ship and get out into the local town. It’s rather nice, actually. It’s been a while since we could relax. Still, I miss Earth. Every day, after all these tribulations, the one thing that reassures me is that I may, at the end of this, return to Earth. To my family. And it’s only been five months. I still can’t believe that. All of this crap amounts to five measly months. Odysseus was on his journey for ten years. Well, he wasn’t a fresh-out-of training 22-year-old with little experience and even less maturity. I feel like I’ve aged so much in five months. 

Anyway, we had started venturing into the surrounding villages. This particular area is a desert, so there are no bustling metropolises, just small villages that crop up wherever they can, then relocate when supplies run out. We but things, visit places, learn things, and meet people. I met the woman who leads this branch of insurgents, Pistis. She goes by Tiss, for fairly obvious reasons. I’m told she’s the best healer these parts had ever seen. I had coffee with her a few times. 

‘So, the insurgence around here, how did it start?’ I asked one morning. 

She scoffed. ‘Same way every other one starts. With DOLOS wronging us. There was war here, a while ago. DOLOS agents occupied my hometown. They took lives. But they also took people. The troops took my mother. They claimed she was an integral witness to the crimes of the other side. I never saw her again. They took our siblings. You’ve met my sister, Phila? She wasn’t the only one. We had four siblings, two brothers and a sister. They were all taken. One by one. For various reasons. They didn’t even give us a reason for our sister. She was just gone. I suspect it was a Trojan Women kind of situation. That’s kind of what it was like, being the common people of the losing side. I guess that Euripides was right.’ She sipped her coffee. ‘Anyway, when the war was over, our thriving nomadic communes turned into these ramshackle, pathetic huts.’ She kicked the cloth wall of her house. Hot sand pours in, scorching my skin. My coffee is ruined.

‘I’m--I’m so sorry.’

‘Well, at least you’re not working for the bastards anymore. Speaking of, it’s only a matter of time before you all join the rebellion.’

“I think we’re trying to remain neutral right now.’

‘There’s no neutral in war. Just the oppressors and the oppressed.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. My main goal has been to get back to Earth.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘Really? I don’t think most of your crew would want that.’

‘No?’

‘Most of them aren’t from Earth. They were just on that DOLOS base for that one assignment. They’d probably want to break up.’

‘Huh. Maybe...maybe this is our journeys end. Maybe we part ways here.’

“If I were you, I’d sell the ship, pay the crew whatever you can, and then part.’

‘But I’m wanted for DOLOS. I probably can’t leave the planet.’

‘Then don’t. Hang around. Or I’m sure my sister can help you forge some documents to assume another identity. She stays here and helps with that kind of thing for the rebellion.’

‘I might take you up on that.’

‘Might want to fake your own death for good measure.’

I laugh. 

‘I’m not joking. DOLOS will not rest until you’re caught.’

‘I’ll look into it.’

And that’s the plan for now. Sell the ship, fake my own death, head back to Earth. Easy peasy. Gysthus, I’m so close. I can almost taste it. Alala out.>

Twelfth entry:

<Cycle 160. I gathered the crew. ‘Folks, I speak to you not as your captain, but as your friend. I’m stepping down. Lieutenant Kakia is in charge. I’ve learned and grown so much with you. I’d like to thank you for everything we’ve been through. I want to thank you for, no matter how I’d lead you astray, putting your trust in me. You are free to depart as you please, but I must bid you all farewell. In the immortal words of my ancient human ancestors, I’ll catch you on the flip side. That means goodbye.’

My speech done, people started to clap. One by one, they all saluted and nodded to me. I hate to see them go. I may not have been the best captain in moments, but I think it can be said that I gave them my all. 

I pulled Kakia, Zelos, and Brizo aside. ‘May I speak with you all privately?”

I ushered them into my chamber of the ship. ‘I’m going to fake my own death.’ Brizo gasped. Zelos frowned. Kakia stiffened. Kakia had been stressed out for the last few days, I recalled. 

‘I know it sounds drastic, but I have to dodge DOLOS somehow. I just want you all to know that I’m okay, and I wanted to thank you all for helping me all this time and trusting me. I may have done you wrong a few times, but I do care for you all and wish you the best.’

‘Alala, thank you,’ Brizo said, ‘I--I wish you the best as well.’

‘I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I do trust and appreciate you. I may not have thought so initially, but you are an excellent captain.’ I smiled at Zelos. 

The room went quiet.

‘I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.’ Kakia spoke quietly, chillingly so. We all turned to her.

‘What?’ I said, hand creeping towards my phaser.

‘I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. You can’t just run away like that. We’ll always find you.’ Kakia was rising from her seat. The hairs on my arms rose.

‘“We?”...Kakia you...you’re the--’ 

‘The mole? Yes, Alala, the mole. I’m the mole. Happy? Satisfied?’ 

‘You...it can’t be...I trusted you!’ I roared. 

‘That was your first mistake. And if you aren’t going to comply and go straight to DOLOS headquarters, I will make you.’

‘This can’t be...and I don’t suppose you two are--’ I saidm but Brizo and Zelos already had their phasers pointed at Kakia. 

‘Don’t move! You’re outnumbered, three to one.’ Brizo was tapping away at her holopad, no doubt calling for help. 

Kakia slapped it out of her hand. It hit the floor and shattered. She slammed a fist on a button and the doors locked. 

‘That’s what you might think.’ She smacked another button, and panels of the wall flipped open to reveal laser phasers trained on Zelos and Brizo. They slowly lowered their  weapons and raised their hands. 

Kakia turned her attention to me. ‘And for you captain…’

I whipped out my phaser, training it on her. She chuckled. 

‘Don’t bother with that. You’ll find your electron phasers don’t work in here.’

I pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. I tossed my gun aside. My hand went to the dagger, but I didn’t unsheath it. Kakia rounded the table and drew her own blade. 

‘Now you’re going to come with me if you want to--’ I tackled her.

I wrestled her to the ground, my own dagger drawn. With my knees on her chest, I wrangle the knife out of her hand. I toss it, just out of her reach, and hold my dagger under her throat. ‘Now you’re going to--’ With her free arm, she pulled a heavy chair out from the table, and it fell onto my back. Startled, I leaned off of her to avoid getting crushed. She hoisted herself up and tackled me. She pinned my shoulders to the ground and grabbed around for her knife. While she was distracted, I kicked her in the chin. I stood up and slammed the button, and the lasers retract into the walls again. 

‘Why do we even have those?’ I muttered. I tossed Brizo my phaser, which I seriously hoped had started working again. Kakia was rising again, but Zelos was quicker. He got up behind her and managed to grab one of her wrists. Sadly, the other one clutching the dagger, was free. She slashed at him, and caught him in the shoulder. I heard him hiss in pain. 

Brizo and I were quick to wrangle Kakia. With two of us, we overtook her. Zelos ripped up some of his shirt to use to temporarily tie her up. We unlocked the door and marched her down to the brig.

When she was properly bound in her cell, we gathered in front of it to question her.

‘Kakia, who are you really?’

She smiled mockingly. ‘Kakia Ularin, in the flesh. Same DOLOS lieutenant, just with different, say, motivations.’

‘And I suppose all that bull you told me about your background was false too.’

‘No, I’m really from Quirinus, and I really haven’t seen my parents since I was young. Only difference is DOLOS says they’ll bring them back to me if I spy for them. I go on every mission with amateur captains like you to keep them in check.’

‘Kakia...it’s DOLOS.’ I almost felt bad for her. ‘I don’t think you’re going to see them again.’

She spat at me through the bars. ‘You’re lying! They’re out there! I know it. I can feel it.’

I shared a look with Brizo. ‘Okay, okay. So all that advice you gave me--’

‘All orchestrated to suit my plans. Every step of the way was planned out.’

‘Really? Even the one where we break out of baby jail on the DOLOS base?’

‘Stop calling it that. And no, that particular episode was unplanned. I started the ship early to make sure you wouldn’t make it. You can thank him for that whatever beam that launched you back in.’ She nodded at Zelos. 

‘And about me not going to Quirinus?’

‘That was a test. You were supposed to follow the orders of your superiors without question.’

‘But...I don’t get how you could set up that test after what happened to our ship.’

She smirked. ‘Where do you think the asteroids came from?’

Brizo gasped. My stomach dropped to my knees. I couldn’t feel my legs. ‘No...no, you’re lying! DOLOS would never purposefully destroy its own assets just to what, test me?’

‘Maybe they would, maybe they won’t. Maybe I’m finally confessing the truth. Maybe these are the last delusions of a crazy woman. You’ll never know.’ 

I didn’t know what to do. I knew I was done with Kakia. I stormed out of the brig. 

Brizo followed. ‘Alala, I’m so…’ she trails off. ‘Is the plan still on?’

‘Oh, I have new plans.’

I...I have nothing more to say. I can’t believe I trusted her. Alala out.>

Thirteenth entry:

<Captain’s log, cycle 161. It’s official, folks. I’m dead! 

It happened like this. 

At eighteen hundred hours, I marched Kakia down to the center of town square.

‘Going to execute me? Right in the street?’ She taunted. I ignored her. 

‘You don’t get to know where we’re going.’

And then, right in the middle of the square, I let her go. 

‘What? You--’

‘Oh no!’ I cried, as loud as I could. ‘She  escaped!’ I drew my phaser clumsily. She easily knocked it out of my hand and grabbed it. 

She pointed it at me. ‘I’ll finally finish this, once and for all!’

And she shot me.

And I died. 

Around my body, pandemonium ensued. Nearly the entire town had seen Kakia shoot me, so it wasn’t long before guards started rushing in. She had already started running, but they closed in on her with ease. And they dragged her, kicking and screaming, to Dodona Interplanetary Prison. I smiled from where I lay on the pavement. Zelos and Brizo came to collect my body and brought it to Tiss’s house. With the help of Zelos’s armor, Tiss’s healing skills, and just a little fake blood, I was dead in the eyes of DOLOS. We know no federal prison can contain Kakia. Nothing has been able to contain DOLOS as of yet. But that doesn’t mean we still won’t try.

I’m staying with Tiss’s sister, Philophrosyne. She goes by Phila, for obvious reasons. I gel with her more than anyone else I’ve met so far on my journey. She’s sweet. People think she’s soft, but I can tell there’s an edge to her. I can see the fierceness in her eyes when she talks about the insurgence. She’s smart, she’s quick, I’ve never met someone quite as witty. We’re working on forging me some documents so I can get back to Earth. Until then, I’m enjoying my time here on Dodona with Phila. It’s...it’s really nice. Insurgents come through here often. It feels good to be able to help them. I’m doing my part to hold back DOLOS. Well, I’ll be here. Alala out.>

Thirteenth entry:

<Captain’s--well, I guess this isn’t really a captain’s log anymore, is it? Cycle 228. I think this will be my last entry. I’ve--you know I’ve been going back and forth on staying, these past few cycles. It’s tiring, anyway, keeping track of Earth cycles on a planet with a unique cycle length. I think--I--well, I’ve decided to stay.

I struggle to say way. It’s a lot of reasons. I’ve grown so accustomed to this way of life. I’m rather fond of this desert, though it can be a pain. I love aiding in the rebellion, any way I can, whether its helping Tiss heal them up or helping Phila forge documents. I know it sounds boring, but with Phila any task seems exhilarating. Sometimes I hear tell of the work of my friends. Zelos has been making tech for the insurgents. Brizo has been piloting ships for them. And of course, Kakia is back to spying. 

I had a conversation with Phila about Earth.

‘It sounds beautiful.’ She had been hunched over some paperwork, but she leaned back to look at me. 

‘It wasn’t. It’s the people, not the landscape, that matters. It’s so diverse, even within human culture. And there was--there was music.’

She glanced at me. ‘Music? We don’t get a lot of that around here.’

‘I know. I had been thinking of commissioning some kind of flute from Metis. I’m not much of a singer, but it’s fun. It’s nice.’

‘You’ll have to sing for me one day.’ Phila was now focused on me. I shifted a little under her intense gaze. 

She took my hand in hers. ‘Alala. It’s a beautiful name.’

I smiled, suddenly shy. ‘It’s Greek. Means “spirit of the war cry.”’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Doesn’t feel quite like me now. I used to be like that, though. I was fierce. Rough around the edges, some would say.’

‘Do you miss that?’

I smiled. ‘Hardly. It was mostly to make up for some insecurity or other.’

She squeezed my hand, then went back to her work. And I noticed for the first time, she was humming. It was some basic tune, very repetitive. After a moment, I started humming along. And we worked together, not speaking, for hours. It sounds like it would be droll, but...it wasn’t. It was...it was nice. It was nice being with her. 

It is nice being with her.

I think I’m going to stay.

I don’t really need this log anymore, do I? I think...I think I’m finally home.