#forth wing

Three years in Basgaith and two and a half years into this “relationship” with Xaden, something had changed. You rarely saw him, even when you wanted to hang out with him, Bodhi, and Garrick. It seemed like Violet Sorrengail had taken up most of his time. You were aware of the deal he had with General Sorrengail, but you hadn’t expected her to bond with Tairn, Saygel’s mate. Her life had become intertwined with Xaden’s. His survival depended on hers. You had witnessed Xaden training her, both on and off the mat and during flying exercises, even going as far as getting her a saddle. As you searched for him, his eyes would linger on her in crowded rooms.

The year had finally come to an end, and everyone was celebrating and drinking. You, however, wanted to be alone and away from everything and everyone. So, you decided to head towards the parapet. You were sitting on the edge, your feet dangling, looking out into the sunset. An hour or so into your solitude, you heard footsteps. Turning to your left, you found Xaden approaching you and sitting next to you. You had seen him around the halls, but it had been a while since you had been in close proximity with him. There was that awkward silence that you had never imagined you would have with Xaden, especially after knowing him for years.

“It feels like years have passed since we last saw or spoke. How have you been?” he asked, glancing ahead. “I’m doing well. How are you?” He began to feel like a stranger, as if you no longer knew him. “I’m doing well.” The silence returned.

“I’m sorry,” he began, but before he could finish, you both interrupted. “Can we talk?” you both said simultaneously, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouths.

“I’m sorry,” he started again. “I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, and I know it’s mostly my fault. I have to train Violet now and ensure her safety. I made a deal with her mother, and now her life is intertwined with mine since she bonded Sageyl’s mate.” He fell silent once more. “I know. I understand.”

After a few moments of silence, he turned his head to look at you. You lifted your head, gazing out towards the horizon. “I just want to express something that’s been on my mind. I don’t know when we’ll have another opportunity like this, just the two of us alone.” You took a deep breath, preparing to get straight to the point and end this conversation. “I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m afraid that my feelings will never change.” You began. “But I didn’t fall in love with you because of the things you could do for me or because I felt the need to be in a relationship to be happy.” You kept your eyes fixed on the sunset while you sensed him staring at you. “I fell in love with you because you were the first person to bring me genuine happiness in a long time. I felt safe and at home when I was with you. Your arms felt like a sanctuary.” You could see his hand moving, as if he wanted to reach out and hold you, but he hesitated. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to be that person for you. I couldn’t make you feel the way you made me feel.” You wiped away your tears. “But I’m genuinely happy that you’ve found someone who makes you happy. You deserve to be happy, especially after everything you’ve been through.” “I’m sorry,” you apologized to him as your last words before wiping away the remaining tears and taking a deep breath.

With that, you stood up and walked away, leaving before Xaden had a chance to respond.

Rhiannon: "Violet is flawlesx."

Ridoc: "I hear her hair's insured for $10000."

Sawyer: "I hear she does dagger commercials... in Poromiel."

Liam: "Her favourite movie is Dragonheart."

Dain: "One time she fought Queen Marlis in Dunne, and she told Violet she was pretty."

Sgayle: “Your best?”

Xaden: “Gods I hope not…”