#forlackofsomethingclever

So I'm going to an archery range next week (this week?).

You should come.

They don’t even have to touch it, they can just kick it down with their foot or something (well, if it’s covered by a shoe at least). It’s really not so hard.

prefuckingcisely!

notenoughofmetogoaround replied to your post: men can be defined by their indifference,...

In my house, putting down the seat has become nearly instinct due to the fact that my mom is the only female and has a very loud voice.

i can see how that would be a harrowing and branding experience. 

50shades-of-ba-sing-se replied to your post: men can be defined by their indifference,...

Wait, who doesn’t like pudding.

this guy. that shit is gross. i only like variants of it, and they usually have to be fixed with some kind of nonsense to make it even a little interesting. kind of like chocolate. i can't eat plain chocolate, s'gotta have something like nuts in it, or it has to be covering something (not more chocolate, or caramel, because caramel is the eighth deadly sin) like strawberries, otherwise it's too much for me. so. yeah.

Holy shit, I think I'm almost done! I just need to finish up this page, write a conclusion, do a works cited page, and I'm good--

Until the next one comes in and fucks me over again.

Yuki (to Iris): Do you want the tea now?

Iris: Sure, may as well.

Yuki: Cool. I just need her pot *jerks thumb at me*

*pause*

50shades-of-ba-sing-se replied to your post: there are so many moths in my house right now that I’ve mentally changed the expression from “kill two birds with one stone” to “kill two moths with one bird.

OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. NOW I’M SCARED OF GIANT MOTHS

Because everytime someone mentions moths, I can't help but remember that one time I encountered that huge moth. Speaking of which--

STORY TIME:

Okay, so I'm about ten years old. It's Halloween and my mom is taking us out to go trick 'r treating, or some shit. I can't remember where my dad was--this was back when my parents were separated, so things were still a little tense--but he was probably out doing police work. (Halloween can be a stressful night for police officers.) 

Back then we used to walk around the neighborhood near my mom's friend and our surrogate Titi (Aunt) Ellie. We'd go around the block for about an hour, charm the good folks with some smiles, the usual candy summoning chant ("Trick or treat, give me something good to eat..."), and our open bags--then we would head back to Ellie's house to sort through our candy and start bartering our spoils from each other.

What makes this particular year different is that after the usual trick or treat trip, we go back to Ellie's to attend a Halloween party.

So, we're waiting outside until Ellie opens the door to let us join the festivities. I'm dressed up in the same costume I wore the previous year, a witch By now, the green makeup on my skin has started to fade, but the red lipstick has managed to stay intact. The pointy hat is still on my head and my then much more tame hair is in a pony tail. My sister (then 5) is dressed up in my old pumpkin costume--which still managed to keep its bright colors, despite the age--and my two year old brother is a green and purple dinosaur (not the one you're thinking of).

Though the wait can't be more than five minutes, it feels like forever--enough time to observe the Halloween decorations on Ellie's door. They're your typical modern symbols of Samhain--a jack-o-lantern, a spooky ghost, a Frankenstein--they aren't made of paper or plastic; they're more like cut-out dolls made of cloth.

Frankenstein's the only one that really has my attention--and the reason for that is what is currently on his leg.

A moth--one that was brownish-gray and as big as a baby bird.

Now, I'm thinking that it's just a part of the decoration, so I'm not really scared. But it looks so real compared to the rest of the decorations; whoever made it was really good at their craft. I think I make a note to tell my Titi Milly about it--she likes making things, usually hats and blankets, but occasionally dolls.

In fact, it looks so real that I feel the need to touch it. Just to know what sort of material it's made out of. Nothing more.

So I reach out my hand and do so, stroking my finger against the wing. For a moment, I think I feel it twitch, just a little...but that can't be so. It's just a decoration. And moths can't grow this big.

Behind me, Mom is calling out to Ellie. Apparently, Ellie had gone out for a bit to get some snacks and more candy for the party. After she and my mom exchange pleasantries, we all step to the side so she can open the door.

While she searches for her keys, I tell her, "I really like the moth, Titi."

"The moth?"

"Yeah," Mom agrees. "It's a little weird, but a nice touch."

Ellie still looks confused. "What are you talking about?"

"The decoration," I reply. "It's really cool."

Then I point it out, practically touching it again. It seemed to move again, its wings fluttering slightly, but I paid no mind. It's probably animatronical, or whatever. Ellie's eyes widen, though.

"That's not a decoration..."

--

Yeah...I was a special kid.