#for u

⠀⠀⠀𝓽his is ˓ ... ˒ fascination. or amalgamation, sediment gathering at the bottom of a riverbed. amy has become present within her thoughts with the alarming inevitability of weather and NIKKI FINDS HERSELF INCREASINGLY UNABLE TO IDENTIFY THE PRECISE POINT OF ITS ORIGIN. perhaps, it began at the doorway. or perhaps it began when amy didn't flinch. 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭, it all feels monumentally important. nikki had road grime embedded beneath her fingernails. exhaustion hanging from her frame in damp layers, hair tangled into a little storm. & she remembers standing with a duffel bag and a disembodied, strange sensation that if somebody were to push her, she might simply COLLAPSE into her constituent parts. CURSES AND BEARS. fuck bear. & well, this stranger looked at the whole pathetic, dirty alleycat spectacle of nikki freeman and allowed her in anyway.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀╵╵ now, she's something of a [ stray cat. ]

FLOORBOARDS SETTLING AND THE LOW MECHANICAL RESPIRATION OF APPLIANCES. .. each sound slots neatly into place. thanks, y'know, for lettin' me stay, she says. sweet dreams angel, amy says. nikki is cocooned between borrowed blankets upon the couch & feels, perhaps for the first time in weeks, painfully aware of her existence. amy, however, appears to become more incomprehensible the longer nikki observes her. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL IN A WAY. impressive, in another. “ y'know what's funny. ” the words emerge before nikki entirely recognizes them. absently, her fingers toy with a loose thread hanging from the edge of the blanket, watching it twist around itself and unwind again. & there's scraped knuckles, chipped nail polish fractured into tiny archipelagos of color. WELL, SHE DOESN'T. [ come to think of it, there's an increasingly high count of portions of herself she no longer recognizes. ] “ i thought i should figure you out. ”

zafiya & @w4ntd 's eugene