what about the fact that vickie returned fast times paused at the moment phoebe cates takes her top off. we should talk about that more because that's funny as hell. just put yourself in vickie's shoes for a second. you like this girl but you are Closeted because this is Hawkin Hates The Gays, Indiana, 1986. obviously you cannot and will not ever make a move because she's beautiful and charming and stuff and she plays the french horn 🥵 (oh and you have a boyfriend. whoops forgot that guy) so you stare at her in marching band and then you discover ! she works at family video ! well that's convenient because you. just. LOVE. movies. so much. (<- lie) you go to the video store and there she is. the stunning. the enchanting. the one the only robin buckley.
and there with her, with his ridiculous hair, is king steve "the hair" harrington. ???????? goes your brain, because you can't understand how someone like robin could even inhabit the same space as steve, much less ....... BE FRIENDS WITH HIM??? you realize as you watch them shoot the shit and laugh together. but okay. maybe it's just a coworkers thing, like you have to make yourself tolerate your coworkers??? NO MATTER you are here for a reason and that reason is. to. stare at robin buckley who is setting up a display and you get so distracted staring that you jump when you hear steve "the hair" harrington go "hey there welcome to family video what cinematic journey can i guide you along today?"
so now you gotta deal with this fucking guy except then robin turns and Looks At You (her eyes are bewitching oh no what if she knows youre gay just from LOOKING AT YOU) and immediately she trips and knocks over the display she just finished setting up and it's obviously the cutest thing anyone has ever done so you rush over to help and pick up the movie and the thing is that your mouth is always moving faster than your brain and you're just talking before you're aware that words are happening and you go, Oh, fast times at ridgemont high MY FAVORITE. MOVIE EVER. i love this movie SO much im watching it ALL the time and robin just lights up and goes WOW REALLY WELL THAT'S. THAT'S CRAZY. SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU sorry it's just hahaha that's MY favorite- my favorite movie too how crazy is it that we have the same favorite movie i mean that's crazy right anyway you can rent it if you want i can umm i can help you with that just don't worry about this mess steve will clean it up WON'T YOU STEVE?
steve meanwhile is making a face at robin but you are so distracted by how the sun shines out of her ass that you don't care so you're like yes alllll i want in life is. to. rent. fast times at ridgemont high. which is. MY FAVORITE MOVIE as we have just established. so you rent the movie and now you have this fuckass movie you didnt even want but you go okay well if it's robin's favorite movie then surely it must be a cinematic masterpiece because it's ROBIN BUCKLEY the tastemaker of hawkins high (<- you really believe this because you are so so gay for her) so you watch the fuckass movie and it is the fuckassest of movies with exactly one (1) redeeming quality which is that at 53 minutes and 5 seconds, Certified Hottie Phoebe Cates takes her top off and you (gay) are like woah (gay) and Then you're like this movie is so terrible what if the only reason this is robin's favorite movie is because Certified Hottie Phoebe Cates take her top off. that'd be crazy right ? (says girl who is thinking the exact same thing)
and now this is crucial. you, vickie dunne, have finished the movie and it is time to return the movie. youve rented and returned a thousand movies in your lifetime and you are kind so you always rewind but you're feeling gutsy because. because she looked at you and immediately knocked over her display. because this is her favorite movie and there's a Certified Hottie who takes her top off. so you pause it at 53 minutes and 5 seconds. and you march into family video. and you say I'm Returning This Movie. you look straight at robin and go. I Really Liked It :D (it's her favorite movie you can't admit that you thought it was all so moronic except the Certified Topless Hottie part which ruled) and then robin brightens and goes Haha! That's awesome! and then she says Nothing Else and then steve (who is also there) goes alllllrighty anything else for ya vickie? what about The Apartment do you know that one? ive heard that's a great one for people with, yknow, with great taste in. stuff. movies and other. and you Have to get out of this place because you just realized that steve harrington is about to rewind your tape and then he will Know that you left it paused at 53 minutes 5 seconds and then he will Know What You Are so you go NOPE THAT'S ALL ! bye robin see you at the pep rally ! and then you run like a headless chicken out of there
and then (fast forward through all of season 4) not only is robin gay but she also LIKES YOU BACK (?!?!?!?!?!) and the worst thing of it all, robin tells you later, is that steve was the one who clocked it first and you (vickie dunne) bury your face in your fucking hands and go "was it. was it because of fast times" and robin nods sagely and goes "it was because of fast times."
