#for d

I KNOOOW FUCK ITS SO GOOD i love it so so so much im glad u enjoyed it !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dreams are arguably the most private, enduring and universal kind of human propriety. No matter how hard we try to conceal our real desires, they always manifest themselves in the shape of dreams. Even if we refuse to dream, our true wishes are reflected in those we admire or envy, in our deepest or in our most indulgent fantasies, in our nightmares, in our regrets. 

In a society that allows only for the profitable and for the “realistic”, dreams are, at most, fantasies. And in a world created by the most prolific type of dreamer - the artist - dreams are strangely absent. 

In the Buffyverse, dreams aren’t something the characters grow up with. To be sure, dreams can change or take form later in life, but they are a common byproduct of our childhood or adolescence. Our preferences, our strengths, our weaknesses, and our environment determine the shape our dreams take. 

Buffy’s dream, which was simultaneously her biggest strength and her biggest weakness, was born out of necessity. She became a slayer, so preserving her humanity and protecting her girlhood became her dream. Saving the world was always a duty, a burden, an imperative. It never brought her real happiness or fulfillment. In fact, to Whedon and co., being a hero meant sacrifice, and dreams, or rather desires and impulses, were roadblocks to overcome. 

Likewise, until becoming a vampire Angel had no dreams. As Liam, he was the embodiment of Buffy’s “carpe diem” philosophy, and as Angelus he took that philosophy to the next level. Becoming human was a dream created by the Shanshu prophecy and Angel’s hatred towards vampires. Being a champion was the source of Angel’s honor and fulfillment, his genuine desire. In his new life he found happiness, though not without sacrifice.

The main difference between Buffy and Angel has always been that Buffy never wanted to become a Slayer but Angel chose to become a champion; Buffy’s life was stolen and Angel’s life was gifted to him. (In the same vein, Connor was both a gift and a test to Angel while Dawn was only a burden to Buffy at first.) This distinction is unsurprising. Men deny women their agency all the time. 

Pride!AU : autumn

Their first kiss doesn't cause fireworks or loud celebrations. It happens on one of the nights they sneak off with Gianni's blanket, laying on it in the backyard, weed in hand. Lando's never heard of shotgunning and Max giggles, with a "I'll show you".

He’s good, I think. Like genuine good. It intimidates me.

Honestly, I’m not okay, but I’m doing better. And I’ll get there. It’s not as easy as I thought it’d be. But I’ll get there.