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You Are Magic.  Let me say it louder for the people in the back, “You Are Magic.”  You don’t ever or never dull your light to make someone else feel better.  You don’t stop being magical because they can’t take all of the fairy dust you’re sprinkling.  That is not your issue or your problem, too often I am seeing folks turning off their light, why are you doing that my sister.  God gave you the extraordinary gifts that He placed inside of you, He wouldn’t have given it to you in the first place if He didn’t believe you couldn’t wield it.   We need to fully understand this concept and that is, “Your gift, my gift isn’t for everybody, it is for the intended audience, period.”  It brings me to this point, I feel like I have been repeating myself a lot on the topic of comparing yourselves to other people. Social media and what you see presented does not tell the full story when you are looking at Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, YouTube and any other platform you are currently utilizing, half stories are told on them.  Everyone is looking at the glamourous pictures and becoming angry about them, or reading Fan Fiction stories and becoming angry about those too.  Anger clouds your own creativity, jealousy distorts it, comparison dulls it.  Can you ladies see where I am going with this? One of the saddest things I see is when people give up, all because they believe they should be where this person is that is living their lives like its golden.  

Here is the truth, you don’t know the person on the other side of their keyboard’s story.  You don’t have any idea of their setbacks, failures, losses, late nights, early mornings, breakdowns, depression, anxiety, crying spells, insomnia battles and other things they have experienced.  All you are seeing is their breakthroughs of staying the course and not giving up.  I am pretty sure there were many, many times when they wanted to throw in the towel but they didn’t because their focus wasn’t on the now but on the later!  Let that marinate in your spirit, my sisters. Please stop being envious and applaud your fellow sisters, see how you can be of help.  We may not be able to physically help them with their business but we can damn sure be an encourager and a cheerleader for them. Letting them know that you are praying for their success and not their downfall.   Telling your sister, “You’ve Got This.”

When we are encouragers of others, people will become encouragers for us. Remember nobody in their journey starts off running, we have to crawl first, then pull ourselves up by the furniture, then take steps (some are stable and other times they are not), then walk without assistance, you start to skip, hop and run. And that is when our magic will burst through and nothing will be able to stop us.  

Well Until My Next Post…Keep Going!

Ayesha Doesn’t Have a Problem, But “You Do.”  This is about as clear and transparent I can get with this statement.  Over the past couple of days, there has been much chatter and heated debates around Ayesha Curry’s appearance on, “The Red Table Talk” hosted by Jada Pinkett Smith.  Ayesha Curry is married to Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors. They have three young children, 2 Girls (Riley and Ryan) and 1 Son (Canon). Now If you are not familiar with the show, “The Red Table Talk” it is hosted on Facebook’s platform, it is a show that was specifically created to allow people to express themselves without judgment, so this means transparency for Women and Men, no topic is off limits.  But here is what I especially like about the show, nobody’s vulnerability is exploited for ratings, and that goes for the host Jada herself, who has been very transparent about her own battles and struggles.  

Ayesha, her mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law’s where guests on the show and they talked about the life of being a wife to NBA players.  In Ayesha’s case, she is married to Steph Curry who is a 3-Time NBA Champion.  The perks are great as we can imagine but there is also a very dark side that people don’t understand, especially for those trying to look in from the outside, and Ayesha and her fellow Queens chose to reveal that part of it.  Before I watched the episode, there was such hateful visceral from Women and Men that I was utterly disgusted.  I saw the soundbite of it and couldn’t understand for the life of me, where people got these wild interpretations of what she said from.  After watching it, I truly saw that it wasn’t what she said, that set these hateful mongrels off, no, it was her ability to be transparent about her struggles.  When people choose to suffer in silence, that is their choice, whether people think it’s good or bad, it is still the person’s choice.  But when people have chosen to be transparent, for one it is because they have a circle around them, that allows for it, without judgment or shame and two it is for the reason of helping somebody else to become free, even it’s just for the one individual.  

What it also helped me to identify were the toxic women and toxic men.  It let me know that a lot of people truly don’t listen, they only hear with zero understanding. Black women coming at Ayesha so viciously broke my heart and yet these same women, are constantly posting how “The Black Woman is the Least Protected and Respected” but here they are doing the same thing to their fellow Black Queen/Black Sister.  Let me tell you this, you don’t have to be married to an athlete, entertainer or movie star, to have insecurities, vulnerabilities or struggles.  Being married or being single is still challenging and as they say, “The Struggle is Real.”  Having a lot of money doesn’t make you exempt from the craziness; it just makes you an even bigger target sometimes. So one of my biggest questions is this, “How could so many people misinterpret what Ayesha was saying?  If really in their heart of hearts, they were looking for something nasty to say about her?” And that is the answer I got from this whole thing.  

Here is the best part, Ayesha’s husband Steph Curry knew exactly what she was saying, and is supporting his wife wholeheartedly!  So all of the miserable folks that were talking trash about her don’t understand nor do they have any idea about when you have the love, respect and the power of your husband, family, lover or friend, standing right there beside you.  So as Ayesha sleeps peacefully at night, all of the hateful women and men that aggressively attacked her on social media, my question is, “How are you sleeping at night? I bet it’s terrible because misery leaves you with no peace.”  Now check that!

Well Until My Next Post…Ciao!

We Are…Cool Ass Black Women.  I went to an event in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (Brooklyn Born and Raised…Stand Up!).  It was called “I’m A Cool Ass Black Woman” created by two Queens Ashley and Brittany. They are creating safe spaces for Black Women to come together and be together, to talk about triumphs, tragedy, love, setbacks, setups, we were able to express our vulnerability, making our marks in different industries and cheering each other on in the process.  It really just solidified for me, my need to be in the company of my Fellow Black Queens and my refusal to no longer inhabit predominately white spaces which I don’t need or want.  My sisters make me strive harder, the need to conquer the arenas that I find myself in, create the heck out of everything I open up and bring to life in my adobe programs, and carve my own lane where these motherfuckers will know my name.  

When you are in the room with Black women, I swear there is a highly charged energy in that place.  You draw off of each other’s spirits, you lift each other up, you want to see everybody win, you want to sing to the rooftops the song which is still an anthem to this day, “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge.  My sisters, we need each other, we can’t all rise up if there are those amongst us backbiting, backstabbing, trying to stop another from rising.  It’s not going to work, when one of us rises, we all rise together, keep this mindset and then there will be no place for jealousy or envy. Stop stealing and copying work from your fellow sister then turn around to claim it as your own, you will not prosper, in fact, you will deflate.  There is more than enough room at the table for each and every one of us, so stop having the mindset of famine and change it to plenty.  Open your hands so that you can pour into your sister and in turn be poured into.

Never forget, “We Are Cool Ass Black Women” always remember this clear fact.  We Black Women are Doing Incredible Things, Making Power Moves, Making Shit Happen and Nothing Moves Without Us.

Well Until My Next Post…Keep Doing It!

All Hail “Queen Nena Goshay-Colar.”  I never met this Regal sister, we were social media buddies in author Love Belvin’s Facebook group and from the moment I started talking with her and the other ladies, I knew Nena was magical.  You see, Nena was a hair, makeup, and stylist guru.  Nena could take a simple tee-shirt and make it runway ready LOL!!  Nena was a Mighty Woman of God, she loved to dance, married to a pastor and always said, “How the Lord is working on her about her cussing” and I could truly relate to that LOL!!!  But most importantly she was a fierce friend and whether she met you in person or just online, Nena was your sister.  So imagine my shock because I just spoke with her in the author group this past Sunday, and hopped on Facebook yesterday to be greeted with this devastating post that she transitioned into eternity.  

You see, meeting people comes in seasons, some are long term, short term, or as a passing ship.  And then there are those who you cross paths with whether in person or on social media, and you click, your friendship is knitted together.  This is how I feel about Nena, whenever I was in the group, I would see a post and immediately fall out laughing, join in the banter and if she had beef with someone I would tell her does she need me to pull up on a mofo, because I guarantee you they don’t want my fire and smoke.  It would always be a good time for me and even when the conversations were serious, Nena had the wisdom, in my heart she was truly a “Proverbs 31 Woman.”  I am pretty sure Nena would have disputed that claim to no end but that is who she is to me.    

So when I learned yesterday that my fellow Queen transitioned in her sleep.  I felt great grief and brokenness of heart.  I had no words, but to post a bunch of crying emojis and broken hearts. I think this is my way of trying to express myself right now.  I still don’t have real words to say, but I am not alone in this pain, there are many fellow Queens who are feeling a terrible loss and their comfort comes from sharing the many stories, pictures, and videos of Nena.  I never met her in person but that didn’t matter, she was and still is my sister.  Now she is Dancing in Heaven on the streets of Gold, Praising God, laughing, singing, and rejoicing.

I have chosen to remember Nena’s vibrant spirit, beautiful smile, incredible laughter, and her pearls of wisdom.  This picture that I have of these shoes remind me of her because of its uniqueness and that was Nena, truly unique.  Nena leaves behind her husband, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends.  I know that nobody saw this coming but God and to some extent, I believe Nena may have sensed her transition was upon her.  I send my prayers and my condolences to her family and friends (in person and through social media).  My writing this was kind of an outlet for me because I am desperately hurting now but God is Worthy to be Praised and My Fellow Queen Nena not only knew this but lived it well.  So I say to you my sister, I pray your transition was without pain, I pray that your spirit soared into Heaven, and know that for us who are still here, we will soldier on with you cemented in our hearts.  Rest in Paradise Dear Sister, Rest in Paradise!

Until My Next Post…

I’m Not Your Superwoman.  I remember when this song came out and singing my heart out every time it came on the radio.  But then I saw the video and was hurt and angry the way the husband treated his wife, then the lyrics started to make sense to me.  Although the title of this post (I’m Not Your Superwoman) is the name of that beautiful song by Karen White, alas this is not the topic of discussion, although I may make some parallels with it we shall see.  I think too often as budding entrepreneurs, or full-time workers, students, partners in relationships, parents, etc., we become all too consumed in trying to do everything and be everything. Listen, there are only 24 hours in the day and hopefully, you are getting 8 hours of sleep.  Even the Creator of All, God Himself took a day and made it Holy which is the Sabbath.  The mindset of trying to make it all work is all wrong, burnout is very real and the word “No” is fantastic, more people should say it. Ladies, as much as we want to believe we are Superwomen, we are not, this mindset is unhealthy and extremely damaging to us.  Sometimes, I want to do it all but realistically I can’t.  Turning off social media is very much an option, too many of you incredible women are caught up in all of the eye-candy of your fellow sisters and then want to emulate what you see.  But you can’t copy their gift because you have your own, find out what it is and then rock it.

I am going to be very honest with you, the majority of the stuff you see on social media is not real, people make up stuff, then throw it out there and before you know it, people are salivating and getting angry because they feel as if their life is wasting away and have nothing to show for it.  Please stop, if many of you knew the true women who are hustling to make things happen, they are the sisters who will be incredibly honest with you about the glow-up. It’s hard, there is a lot of sacrifices, late nights, early mornings, some are still working full-time jobs to support their dreams.  Some have support (spouse, life partner, parents) and others are doing this by themselves.  I am going to say it again for the people in the back row, the middle row, and even the front row, “Stop Trying to be a Superwoman.”  This cape wearing attitude will only lead to bitterness, jealousy, and resentment.  Concentrate on your own business, get focused and clear, don’t keep scrolling on Instagram if you’re only going to be pissed off once you come off of the platform.  Learn to Network, this is what you can use social media for, it actually comes in very handy.  Look on the platform “Meetup” to join groups that are doing what you’re in to or help with ideas that you have in your journal, get with like-minded people.  If you are aspiring to be a designer, filmmaker, social media content creator, author, fashion designer, stylist (Clothes, Hair), singer, music producer, entrepreneur, whatever your heart beats rapidly for every time you think about it, work diligently at it, understand that your success won’t happen overnight.

Take a deep breath, pray, meditate, journal, eat healthily and get good sleep. Stop putting these crazy and unrealistic pressures on yourselves, drop the Superwoman mentality, you will be so much happier.  Remember to set your own pace, don’t allow anyone to get you to speed up or to slow down. I am rooting for your phenomenal success, you’ve got this.  

Well Until My Next Post…Keep Going!

Who Are You Becoming?.  Have you asked yourself that question lately?  And if you have not asked, then you should because it is important for your growth, your peace, mental stability, your heart, and your spirit. Your “Becoming” will look like a number of things, being elevated into a position of greatness, happiness, feeling complete, feeling love and giving love.  It will also mean that there will be a number of people (family and friends) who will not be able to go where you’re going and that’s ok.  It doesn’t mean you don’t love them but it’s essential for the next growth phases in your personal and professional life. People will call you mean, they will ridicule you, try to tear you and your dreams down, they will try to break your heart and your spirit.  But even in all of that, you will be, “Becoming.”  

Your Becoming and My Becoming will look vastly different. There will be some similarities but not identical, the important thing to remember is to embrace the journey.  The “Becoming” journey will not be easy, there will be setbacks but also setups into your purpose.  Don’t let the setback be a deterrent, it's very easy to get discouraged and sometimes hard to encourage yourself, but keep pushing and don’t give up. Nobody said this was going to be easy, just ask, “Queen Michelle Obama” she will be the first to tell you that it won’t be smooth sailing in the beginning.  It most likely won’t be smooth for a couple of years. But that is the beauty in it, because once we arrive, just look behind you to see how far you’ve come.  Don’t stop there though, for “Becoming” is a continuous ride, it won’t stop until you say so but then again, why would you want to stop?

Your heart is desiring for the “Becoming” to take place in your life.  Don’t quench or stop it from growing in your life.  Be aware that it won’t happen without effort on your part, it will not materialize out of the air and drop in your lap, it will not happen while sitting on the sidelines hoping and wishing.  No, the “Becoming” takes place with action, not from being stagnant. We can talk about this all day and all night but if you don’t want it then why are you here?  And what do you want?  As for me, I am “Becoming” and I pray you are too.  

Well Until My Next Post…Keep Going!

Everything Isn’t For Everyone.  So please stop because you will be so much happier. Your gifts, talents, ideas, imaginations, magic, love, family and friends were created for you.  Don’t get me wrong, others may appreciate those things and people but that is all, so stop trying to force a circle into a square peg, it doesn’t fit and never will.  If you have made the decision to go into a specific career whether it be a day job or you have chosen to become an entrepreneur, some people will be happy and others will not and that’s ok because you have to choose what is best for you.  Let’s speak about what is best for us and how most people would rather we conform to be like everyone else.

First of all, nobody looks alike (even if you are identical, there will be some factor that will always be able to tell you apart), our thinking, lifestyles, likes, dislikes, etc., will be unique to us the individual.  So why are people so desperate to be like each other?  Why are so people so desperate to have everything that others have?  Why aren’t more of us celebrating our uniqueness instead of being disdainful about it?  The media plays a huge part in this debacle that we see every day but the truth of the matter is it starts at home.  Things that are being expressed to us verbally or nonverbally, pour directly into our spirit our psyche.  If it’s poisonous it will take quite a while to be delivered and cleansed from it but if it’s positive then that will put us in the advantage of being fine with who we are, differences, quirks and all.  

I write and create because that is who I am. Escapism into the different worlds my overactive imagination created is me.  There was a time I didn’t want people to know things about me, so creating in secret was for me protecting myself but the truth is why would I even care what they think or feel about me.  I am happy when doing me and not concerned about going along to get along or wanting to do things because everyone else is doing it.  No thank you, my peace of mind, my sleep, happiness, my heart, soul and spirit are what is important and essential to my well being.  When I see people embracing their uniqueness and not the bit concerned that everyone else is doing the same thing like others, it makes me happy and I cheer so damn hard for them because they get it, “Everything Isn’t for Everyone” and they are moving in their own lane and loving it.  As a creator, you also have to get into the mindset of doing it for you, the pure enjoyment of creating and not concerned with what others may think about it or feel about it.  As a creator, we draw inspiration from everything that is alive or not, colorful, black and white, greyscale, happiness, sadness, joy and our pain.  Our concern is bringing forth what is begging to come out of us, the birthing process for us is either joyful or painful but it must come forth. We don’t have peace when our desires are crashing against our insides begging to come forth and bless others.  

Be the inspiration to others and I am speaking for myself as well.  Don’t try to be or do what everyone else is doing, be a leader, be your individual self, be your incredibly talented self, just be you!

Well Until My Next Post…Ciao!