#flutter notes.

taichi: oh my ---yamato grow up stop fighting me we ain’t kids anymore!!!

yamato: man i should really ask about things

yamato: i got you a cactus 

It’s unfortunate you have to sacrifice desire in exchange for necessity. Just small wants that have to be turned down because something else more meaningful should be a priority. Which would be logical but it wouldn’t be as fulfilling. Sometimes when the heart wants what it wants you end up suffering the consequences, even if the original intention of that ‘want’ was innocent in the beginning. Every time you commit to your responsibilities, recheck your ‘everlasting’ mortality---you can’t help in the end but feel the edges of the canvas curling with rust. The more you devote yourself to one task, the more repercussions you gather as a result. 

now i got this vision in my head where yamato just has his house full of decorative skeleton art and skull head candles and the theme is just dark--and downstairs is just this huge space where he would practice rituals and has bookshelves full of old seance papers and binders. the walls are painted black and red.

i have never seen a child put their hands on their hips and hands in their pockets as much as yamato ishida (matt) does. first season is like this HUGE tentative and anxiety driven body language. he constantly has shit on his mind but doesn’t share it because he hardly knows anyone in the group (at first). it’s personal turmoil, it’s frustration, it’s trust issues, he doesn’t want to be ALONE but indirectly alienates and directly growls at others who come close almost like it’s a reflex. a nasty one. he’s reclusive, opinionated, stuck in a double standard stereotype--he wants to break away from it but doesn’t know how. hell he even acknowledges it’s messed up.