#fluffydumplings

Window Five - The Chilling Truth

It’s heartbreaking how you’ll never be able to meet them ever again, and how all of it is now nothing but a memory to forget. But you can’t seem to move on, not when Namjoon is blaming himself, not when Yoongi is overworking, and not when Jin is pretending to be someone else.

Window Six - The Journey to Letting Go

Life goes on - even after your death, even if moving on proves to be more complicated and heart-wrenching than anything could ever be. They don’t know where this is going, they don’t know what they are doing. But one thing is for sure, they’ll always love you. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting you, it means getting the closure they deserve and need.

Window Seven - The Tale of the Forgotten

Forty-five years ago, you planted a tree in the backyard of your boring old home with the person you hoped to cherish for as long as the tree would stand.. Forty-five years later, the tree flourishes - shrouded in pink when spring stays over, shrouded in green when summer comes by, orange as autumn says hello, and a dusty white as winter kicks in.. But only he remembers of that day, and of the love you once shared.. You, on the other hand, you have forgotten.. Completely and for eternity.

Window Eight - Empty Canvases

Tae’s dreams were nothing but a tunnel with no ending - dark, bleak and empty.. Yoongi made him smile, you opened his eyes to light.. the world and everyone in it made him cry.. Through this abandoned tunnel that now has a torch shining its way and an ending to reach - he runs to it - with joy.. To the sparkly eyed fool who follows him around everywhere and anywhere..

The empty bed, broken promises, forgotten birthdays, and missed calls. Hoseok knew for a very long time that things have changed. Yet despite that, he didn't want to dig deep into it. He didn’t want things to change. And if pretending so would do the deal, so it be. 

'Your boss kept you in?' the tingling smell of tooth-rottenly sweet grape soda lingers in the air. He could never get tired of it. 

'Hoseok.. I think it's about time-'

'Your lips look tired,' the sweet chocolate that usually enveloped him is starting to faint.

He bit hard, moaning and groaning in between. Pushing the younger harshly against the wall, the gentle curve of his fingers wrapped around your head.

‘I’m cheating on you.’

‘I know,’ his voice vibrates into your soul as he whispers against the tip of your ear.

‘I like her,’ pure bitterness wafts away. 

He smelled fresh out of a cacao factory. 

‘But she’s not me,’ hints of wine hit the air.

Whoever said wine and chocolate would go well together? The intensity only makes you want to barf. Yet the sweetness hidden within it prevents you from doing so. Like a hand held to your neck. Your breathing barely there, but refusing to falter away.

'Hoseok.. I don't want you.’

At your confession, he growls, pushing himself away. His heart and soul ached. Whatever happened to your love?

'No.. I refuse! You can fuck her! You can pound into her all you want! But when you're home, you're mine! You're fucking mine!'

'Do you get that?'

Earthy, nutty, musky, and pungent... You reeked of fermented grape juice.

‘No! I don't want you anymore Hoseok..' 

Sometimes he forgets that you're both psychologically and socially dominant beings. Refuses to listen and loves control.

Omegas and Alphas.. That's how it always worked. 

Yet.. he fell for you. No, he became obsessed with you. 

Your whole existence itself is intimidating. Oh.. how he almost peed his pants when he first saw you. But.. you're so gentle and sweet. Never submissive, but very much breed-able. How could he not want you?

'No... Don't go..' he'll make you stay somehow.. even if he'd have to betray his instincts as an alpha.

He does have to admit. His skin itches at every syllable his lips spill.

You like being in control.. You like him below your feet, and ready to bow before you. He'll use that against you if he has to.

'Please... Pretty please.'

He was begging.. Hoseok was begging.. ?!

'It won't work on me.'

Looks like he’ll have to switch gears.

'Don't you remember when I saved you from falling? Without me, you would be dead.’

‘I cook for you every day. Without me, you’ll starve.’

‘Without me, you wouldn’t have a roof over your head!’

‘Without me! You’re nothing!’

‘That was the past.’

Why does his mate have to be such a smartass?.. More reasons to keep you.

‘But, I’ve done so much for you.. Why are you leaving me? I love you! I love you so much! Is this how you repay my love? Oh, Y/N! Did your father teach you that? Oh- wait.. He died giving birth to you.'

'Hoseok.. We agreed to never bring that up..' you were quivering for once.

He adores how weak you look right now. His alpha is so unlike what he normally would be. How could he not love the sight of that?

‘We..’ even the littlest of hope he is willing to hold on to.

'So, You're not leaving me?' he smirks.

'No.. I love her, Hoseok.'

'That omega?.. She reeks of vanilla.. And spoiled milk..’

‘How did you know?’ you refuse to lay vulnerable before him yet again, your question hard as bricks thrown against his chest. 

‘She screams prettily too.’

‘Is that why you like her so much?’ he starts screaming.

‘What did you do?’ your tone firm and powerful.

‘Baby.. You reek of liquor. I don't like liquor. We should pour some sugar on you..' you faint into his arms.

'Now I can keep you forever.' he tugs the needle out of your neck, the smell of your blood turning him feral.

'What's up little omega? You're a pretty one? Aren't you?' she struggles, her hands bonded by rope and her throat shoved shut with fabric.

‘He sure likes pretty things,’ Hoseok mutters, kicking her in the stomach.

‘Unfortunately.. I don’t.’

‘Stop moving your hands,’ he steps on her, the sound of bones cracking lighting his face up in joy.

‘Oops..’ 

‘Now.. my little baby..' he fastens you to the wall with metal chains.

The sugary sweetness never to return.

He comes back to feed you every day, lulling you back to sleep whenever you decide to go against him. (As in, rattling the chains in an attempt to set yourself free) He won’t let you get away that easily. Your his. His! And only his!

'I love you..' he'd whisper every night, hissing at your unceasingly rotten-like smell.

Nevertheless, he loves you. And he knows you do too. He'd have to find a way to stop you from smelling like wine though. He detested wine more than anything. 

It makes his scent become all rigid and piney. Like he rubbed unrefined chocolate in all the crevices of his body. As though he swallowed a plantation worth of roasted cacao trees. So much, his body is starting to become one with them.

‘Til the day you fall to your demise, my love. You are mine.’

‘Why are you still here?’

 ‘Why shouldn't I be?’ he states the obvious, his fingers removing the tears off of your cheeks. 

 ‘Because I’m one broken, unlovable and insensitive piece of shit. Because I’m ugly, dumb, annoying and worthless. What more reasons should I state?’ 

 ‘I don’t care.’ 

 He wants to correct you. Whispering a million times into your ears, how wonderful you are. How he has grown to love you, and how beautiful inside and out you truly are. He wants to tell you tales of this person, whose existence you refuse to believe in but is the sole reason behind.

Nevertheless, he knows better than anyone else, that this is not what you need or want.

 He can tell you over and over again, and it’ll only hurt you more. You aren’t ready to believe any of it. Maybe one day you will, however right now you aren’t. Won’t, can’t and shan’t. 

 ‘I just want to stay. Can I not?’ 

 ‘I will drag you down with me,’ as a matter of fact, you don't want him to leave. Not now or ever.

 ‘Then I’ll pick both of us up,’ he nuzzles into your neck, cherishing the feeling of you against him.

 ‘Aren’t you sick of me?’ 

 ‘No.. Not even one bit,’ his hands holding you carefully by the waist. 

 ‘I mess up a lot. I’m sure you’ve grown tired of me at some point,’ you savour his flowery scent, knowing one day he’ll wake up and realise that you aren’t worth even a second of his time. 

  The truth is, those thoughts and ideas are nothing but your self-doubt settling a ton of gibberish in your head. Yoongi is going to make sure it is. Because he intends for you to wake up every morning doused in his warmth. He intends to hold onto you tightly for as long as you let him. He intends to start a family with you, grow old with you and die with you.

 ‘People learn from their mistakes. You’ve done so,’ he pampers kisses on the surface of your exposed skin.

 Why would I be tired of seeing you blossom into a better person? he wanted to tell you.

 ‘Have I?’

 ‘You have,’ if he says so, you’ll believe him. 

 ‘Nonetheless, I’m broken.’

 ‘I love you regardless of what,’ that almost makes you smile. Even if you don’t, you are still delighted as ever.

 ‘What if I turn into glass, and the only pieces that remain of me are broken shards? Will you still love me then?’ he nods.

 ‘I can always keep you in my pocket,’ he touches the place in which his pocket should be located at. 

 ‘Aren’t you going to melt me back together?’

 ‘Only when the time is right. There is nothing wrong with being broken,’ his fingers trail over yours. 

 ‘I’ll still be hideous even if I turn into glass.. Won’t I?’ 

 ‘You’ll still be pretty,’ he doesn’t want to force that on you. But...  deep down, he knows that you need to hear this. 

 ‘I’ll have to keep you close. No one is stealing you from me.’ 

 Is this too much? You barely can accept the fact that he wants and needs you. To bring in the fact that you are desirable to others aside from him could be too overwhelming for you to take in. 

 ‘So-’ he tries to apologise, but you cut him off.

 ‘Thank you,’ that hits his chest with satisfaction.

 ‘I love you regardless of what,’ after a long while, you finally smile.  

 Your words sprouting flowers in his eyes. Your smile a glimmer of light to be kept locked not only in his mind but also in his heart.

As an instinct to escape the grasp of a predator, they back away. Their hands clasped tightly to their chests.

‘Do not be afraid.. I will not harm you. The dragon within me hasn’t been awakened ever since the day I have arrived here.’

‘Look behind you,’ you insist.

‘Books..’

‘Indeed.’

‘And what are we to do with these books?’ Taehyung remains sceptical of it all.

‘They are records of every living person’s dreams.’

‘There’s a chest outside that can open only if the correct three words are spoken. In this room, your dreams too are recorded. Find them. The answer is encapsulated within them.’

They are about to walk away.

‘Wait.. Wait.. Before you go on. I have one last clue for you. Listen carefully my dear travellers.’

‘A person’s dreams can reveal their deepest darkest fears. A spider swallowing someone alive is much more than what it seems.’

‘You have until sunrise.. If you fail, the books are to be rearranged and you are to start again. Good luck, my dear travellers,’ you disappear just like how you appeared.

‘Well.. Fuck.’

‘Golden lady just left us,’ Jungkook states the obvious.

‘We know, kiddo… We know.’

‘How the fuck do we find this shit?’ Hoseok’s eyes practically fall out at the shelves before him.

‘There’s a good million of them. We’re never going to find them,’ the youngest sighs.

‘So.. You are just going to give up, kiddo?’

‘Stop calling me Kiddo! I’m not a child..’

‘Fine.. Kook it is.’

‘My sister use to call me that,’ his eyes glistened.

‘What happened to her?’ Taehyung approached lightly.

‘She fell down a cliff while trying to fetch for water.’

‘Aren‘t you aliens?’ Hoseok furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

‘We don’t age. But, we can die.’

‘That’s sad-’

*caching caching*

‘What was that?’ Jungkook wipes his tears away.

‘That book is glowing,’ Taehyung points at the one above Jungkook’s head.

‘So.. That's how it works,’ epiphany reaches the eldest through the form of a gasp.

‘Grab it, Tae..’

‘Open it, and read.’

‘Dream number one.’

‘The boy’s mother is crushed by an anvil, leaving the boy in tears.’

‘Dream number two.’

‘The boy’s father is hit by the train, the boy too shock to move.’

‘Dream number three.’

‘The boy’s friend is shot to death, the blood splattering its way to the boy’s tear-stained cheeks.’

‘Dream number four.’

‘The woman is taken away by the sea, leaving the boy behind. ‘My love, don’t go just yet!’

‘Thanatophobia.. The fear of a loved one dying..’

‘Jungkook.. Do you agree?’ sweat rolled down his forehead.

‘Kookie? What’s wrong?’ Hoseok approaches closer.

‘That’s how it's supposed to work. Once the book is read, the fear is resurrected,’ Taehyung assumes.

‘He’s shaking..’ the dove-haired vampire’s sense of worry heightens.

‘Jungkook-ah.. What calms you down?’

‘Hugs.. I need hugs.’

Doing as told, they both hold him by the torso.

‘You bastard.. You did that simply because you wanted to be hugged. Isn’t it?’

‘Oh.. Come on, he was shaking,’ he pats the alien’s head, his pale fingers stroking through the latter’s hair.

‘Are you ready to move on now?’ this time the werewolf appeared to be more gentle and caring.

‘Yes...’

‘So.. Do we just wait?’

‘My dear travellers!’

That scared the shit out of them.

‘The closer you are, the brighter it is.’

‘Trail along all the shelves you can find,’ Hoseok and Jungkook obeys, just as Taehyung does so himself.

‘That witch lady’s gotta stop scaring us,’ Jungkook hisses.

‘I can hear you,’ Yoongi watches from the Crystal ball on her table.

‘I found it.’

‘Do you want me to read it for you, Hoseok?’

‘I’m older than you,‘ a lingering bitterness trailed over his words. He hates the fact that he is the oldest among them.

  ‘Hyung.. No or yes?’

‘Your voice is going to go hoarse. Let Jungkook read it?’

He’s supposed to hate these people, but he can’t. He’s supposed to be taking advantage of them right now, but he isn’t. At that minuscule amount of care, Taehyung smiles.

‘Darkness faded into dawn. He refused to walk outside and greet the people his father had invited over. He cowered in fear, afraid they would come and drag him out.’

‘Anthropophobia.. The fear of people,’ Hoseok says it so emotionlessly, almost as though it doesn't affect him.

That's when he breaks down onto the floor, his eyes burning with anxiety.

‘Hyung!’ Jungkook strolls closer, but Hoseok pushes him away.

‘I’m sorry..’

He never looked so vulnerable as he did now.

‘Leave me alone. It’ll leave soon.. It’ll fade away.’

‘Hyung!’

‘He looked into the mirror and made sure his suit was ironed right, his hair was styled right and his skin managed to appear clear of anything. He looked into the mirror to see if he was perfect.’

‘Atelophobia.. Fear of imperfections,’ despite how weak he was, Hoseok didn't stop himself from informing them.

‘We’re done.. Oh goodness gracious! We are done!’ Jungkook jumps up and down.

‘Where’s Taehyung?’ Hoseok’s eyes widen in shock, rejuvenated and no longer tired, but now alarmed.

You have unlocked Y/N’s Mood Board... She says hi.. :)..

‘There is a well hidden somewhere in the deep forests of Epistemophilia, the forgotten city of this very kingdom. The vessel meant for water surrounded by fifty dozen dandelions that flutter away, the daydreams of people different and alike collected for energy.’

‘The same energy that runs the magic that provides for homes, libraries and so on.’

‘Epistemophilia, the perpetual and excessive desire to obtain knowledge. Therefore whenever you are to come across a wooden sign decorated with a stack of books, do keep in mind my dearest traveller. It isn’t a library that you have approached, it is no other than the city of Epistemophilia. There you will meet your first obstacle. The temple of dreams.’

‘I’m Kim Taehyung.. Are you here for the machine as well?’ emotions he doesn't seem to possess.

‘Yes.. I’m Jeon Jungkook. And this fellow over here is Jung Hoseok. We have met along the way.’

‘What do you think the temple of dreams could possibly be like?’

‘I don’t know.. What is anything possibly like?’ Hoseok speaks his opinion.

‘Something related to dreams,’ Jungkook adds.

‘That’s too obvious, kiddo..’ Taehyung snickers.

‘What do you want me to say then? That it’s about a bunch of chickens bullfighting as we bet which one will win through the form of drinking a weird-ass potion that lets us into the birds’ minds.’

‘How does drinking the potion help though?’

‘We get to judge which one is more violent in the head. And by that, we bet on who we think will take the other out.

‘Kiddo.. You’ve got strange thoughts,’ Taehyung almost starts cackling at Jungkook’s logic.

‘How do you know I’m younger than you are?’

‘I’m a werewolf,’ his rather sharp fangs show.

‘Bite me then.’

‘Be careful with what you say. I might actually bite you.’

‘I’m an alien..’

‘Can you turn green?’ that is the first query that falls out of his lips.

‘No.. I can read trees though..’

At the perplexed expression that slaps at the chestnut-haired man. He...

‘I’ll show you one day,’ pride reaches the tip of his eyes.

‘But.. Anyways.. How does you being a werewolf and me being an alien do anything with our age?’

‘I’m 300 years old... You?’

‘I’m 1000 years old.. You were saying, kiddo?’ contempt lurks at both of them.

‘Guys.. Stop fighting!! Goodness gracious,’ Hoseok tries to play peacemaker, only to be interrupted by a clearing of throat.

‘Well.. Hello again. Please do not fight. You are to work together in the obstacles that come ahead of you. As of now, you are a team.‘

‘If any one of you comes to harm or perhaps even come to be of no more, the quest will be over. As I have said before, you are a team. With even one gone, the team is disenabled.  Do you understand?’

‘Yes..’ the same words scrape their tongues.

Suddenly, a lightning bolt of gold lands onto the land covered in green.

‘The temple of dreams welcomes you.’

A woman draped in silk and ribbons, and a wand in her hand greets them.

‘Yoongi... Do I really have to do this?! What type of fucking clothes are these?.. I swear.. This shit is so tight. I’m killing you after this!’ you babble in your head.

‘Why can’t I wear what I usually do?’

‘What am I.. Dressing to impress?’

‘As a guardian, I can sue you!’

‘You look good though,’ she comments back.

‘Get out of my head! I have to speak, you hooligan!’

‘Ahem.. Ahem. I am the keeper of this very temple. Who is it that has sent you here?’ your goody two shoes and polite ass bitch facade is on.

‘Keeper, the identity of the person behind it all is unknown. But.. what we do know is that they are the developer of a certain machine,’ Hoseok informs you.

‘Ahh! Your main destination is Violet Castle isn’t it?’ you fake oblivion.

‘Yes! That one,’ an overexcited Kook answers.

‘Follow me,’ you take a few steps forward, your muscle memory guiding you and them who follows behind.

‘A library?’ they all let out softly

‘A millennium ago. A dragon hybrid by the name of Sonder had carried boulders on her back, flying over to a land barren of trees in hope of starting a new life. That is when she had built this temple right here. And do not be fooled, it is no longer a temple. Most people on our land are of no religion. They are free people, unrestricted to the beliefs of the guardians.’

‘Sonder.. The realisation that everyone else has a life just like you do. Like the main character of a novel realising they aren‘t the only one with a personality, or friends and family.’

‘I thought I needed to tell you that.’

‘Oh.. One more thing,’ they all focus their attention on you.

‘I am that Dragon.’

You Have Unlocked Min Yoongi’s Moodboard.. She says hi! -,-

‘Du yu like tis,’ your tiny hands offer a piece of milk chocolate to the equally small boy sitting on the swing.

‘Choco-lit?’ he examines the package.

‘Oh.. Is tat wat it’s called?’

‘Yeah..’ he nods.

‘Do yu like choco-lit?’ your face contorts at the unfamiliar word grazing the tip of your tongue.

‘I like dump-ings better,’ he confidently declares, ‘No.. I love dump-ings..’

‘What are tose?’

‘You don’t know wat tey are?’ he opens his mouth in shock, as though he was horrified of you.

‘No,’ you shake your head.

‘My mummy makes them evy-month.. You should come over and t-uvay them sometyme...’ he pauses, realising that your name is still a mystery.

‘Y/N.. Y/Niee,’ you grin wildly, his mouth following in return.

‘Yu?’

‘Yoongi,’ the boy tells you his name.

‘Yoonie.’

‘No.. Yoongi,’ he corrects.

‘Yoonie,’ the dictionary in your head only knows one word, ‘Yoonie.’

‘Pine.. Yu can call me tat,’ he pouts.

‘Kitty.. Yoonie luks like a kitty,’ pink creeps up his fluffy cheeks.

‘Yu are funny.. Y/Niee,’ your name coming from him feels different. It isn’t compressed with resentment like when your mother calls you. It sounds sweet coming from him. Like choco-lit.

So sweet it makes you sniffle. Tears running down your cheeks like water running down a cliff.

‘Oh?.. Why are yu cwaying?’ concern reaches his eyes, ‘Was it because I culled yu funny?’

‘Nu one ever calls mi Y/Niee.. I like that.’

‘Y/Niee wunt to come over my house for dump-ings?’ he offers, ‘We cun hulp mi mummy make them.’

‘Where is your house?’ you wipe your sobs away.

‘Over tyher,’ he points, ‘I just moo-ved here.’

‘Did yu ask your mummy if I could come?’

‘I’ll just tvell her that yu are mi best friend.’

‘Best fviend?’ your eyebrows furrowed at that.

‘Yeah.. I like you a lot, Y/Niee,’ he nods, his eyes sparkling like crystals.

‘I never had a best fviend before,’ you mutter to yourself.

‘Then.. I’ll be your first, and last,’ he shows his pinky, ‘Best fviends forever.’

Your fingers meet as a promise to always be by each other’s side. You turn from six years old to eleven. That's when he moved out of the neighbourhood. The same night you balled your eyes out like crazy because your fluffy little dumpling boy was now as good as gone.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Seven years after ↴ (High School)

‘Y/N..Y/N..’ the teacher tries to catch your attention as you continue to doze off.

‘Yes?’ your eyes barely manage to open.

‘There‘s saliva dripping down your chin,’ she informs you, the laughter of the other students that follow a nuisance to your ears.

‘Quiet down everyone! As I have said earlier, we have a new student joining us.’

‘Ooh,’ the boys fill with excitement.

‘Do you think it will be a boy?’ the girls in the back chatter among themselves.

‘Do you think he’ll be cute?’ one of them questions.

All of that is interrupted by, ‘Quiet down everyone!’

‘Please come in,’ that is when the door opens, revealing a tall, fit, yet adorable-faced figure dressed in the school uniform.

You want this moment to last forever - even if it is a dream. Because if it was, you don’t want to wake up. You'd rather stay stuck in this made-up universe for as long as he exists. For in all of those years of staying up until two just to study for another stupid test, today may be the best day to ever come.

‘Do introduce yourself,’ she gives away one of her: ‘you better behave or I will be a bitch’ smile.

Was this him? Because damn... Even the finest of aged wines and liquor couldn't compare. His smile brings shame to all of mankind.

‘Nice to meet you all. I’m Min Yoongi,’ his voice was thick as paste, and his words were as clear as the sky outside.

‘Woohoo!’ those who gawk their eyes at him go unnoticed by you, for if what they were doing was considered gawking. What you were doing was absorbing. Absorbing all you could take before it would be taken away from you.

Yoongi was as stunning as a butterfly in daylight and as alluring as a firefly against the prussian blue sky. Eyes lightly shaded, lips carefully moulded, and cheeks carved exquisitely to utter perfection.

‘You can sit there. Next to Y/N,’ your heartbeat can be heard loud and clear - for the excitement, fear and anticipation was intense like those last moments where paint is drying on a canvas. Where no one knows what could go wrong. So intense you could have sworn the person sitting in front of you knew of how your heart drops and rises every few seconds.

You walk around with an impassive expression scribbled all over your face. Like an abstract painting that would appear indecipherable and confusing at first glance, and familiar to those who spend hours staring and trying to figure the meaning behind it all. The two creases above your brows when you're focused on work, the way your cheeks puff out when you smile, the adorable noises you make whenever you sneeze, and that frown that visits you when the teacher sets another ridiculous assignment. You were such an interesting character, yet no one wanted to know you or tried to know you. Except one, Min Yoongi.

The creaking of the chair and the sound of him sitting down startles you. But you refuse to show that. You refuse to wear your heart on your sleeve like half of the population does. You remain calm and untouched on the outside and an explosion of feelings on the inside. You were a tree with remarkable chiffon-white bark overflowing with despicable critters. And half of you very well knows that somehow he’d still be able to see right through you. As though you were made of transparent glass, and your thoughts floated above your head like a rubber duck placed in a bathtub. Yet you still tried.

‘Hi,’ that’s when the wooden walls build across you cracks into pieces, for as of right now you couldn't help but grin foolishly. A child in a candy store, the man before you a colourful lollipop made entirely of sugar. The only thing preventing you from him was your mother who doesn't let you indulge in the sweet crystalline substance. But.. a lick wouldn’t hurt. Would it?

‘Remember me?’ his fingers linger over his head, a habit he developed when he was nine.

‘Yoongi..’ just like the day he said your name for the first time, your pretty voice almost brings him to tears. But, crying in a classroom full of strangers and on your first minute in a new school wasn’t what he wanted.

‘Let’s catch up later,’ you direct your pencil at the board, encouraging him to focus.

‘I have to graduate.’

Lies.. Lies.. You never listen. You simply needed time to take in the fact that your childhood best friend was sitting next to you. That he was real, and that if you touched him he wouldn’t disappear.

So, as he focuses his eyes on the teacher, you decide to poke his shoulder to test out the theory. People can call you dumb all they want, but meeting someone you’ve lost seven years ago is not an everyday occurrence.

‘I won’t disappear even if you keep doing that.’

Damn it!! That fucking gummy smile!! Cuteness metre overload!!

‘Oh,’ you slap your hand across your forehead upon realising how foolish you sound and seem.

‘So.. You like sleeping in class?’ he smirks, ruffling your hair as though so much time hasn’t passed by already.

‘What do you mean?’ you protest, refusing to fall victim to his accusation. Which was very much a fact if you’d say so yourself.

‘Y/niee.. The door allows you to see everything in here. It's made of glass,’ your cheeks redden at this. Not because you’ve been caught, but because, ‘Y/niee..’!!!

‘Haven’t heard that name in a while,’ you confide the truth to him.

‘Why? Don’t your friends call you that?‘

Ouch!

‘I don’t have friends,’

The pitiful girl who no one knows. You sure play that role well.

‘Oh.. Sorry,’ he scolds himself in his head, knowing that he has entered bulldog territory. It's only been ten minutes, yet he’s already fucked up. (Not that he was counting the time spent with you or anything.)

He just assumed you would have many friends. I mean.. From what he remembers - you were one lovely little girl. Unless you have turned into a mean witch of some sort that is. He doubts that though, not by how your teeth show as you chuckle in silence and how you are a nervous mess in front of him. And even if you were a mean which, he couldn't care less. All he knew was that you were the six-year-old girl he brought home to make dumplings with.

You might have changed over these years. But regardless of what, you’re his best friend. His Y/niee...

‘It’s okay. It's perfectly fine of you to assume I have friends. Everyone else has one or two.’

‘Speaking of friends... I’m sure you’ve got many. You’re cool,’ the compliment plops two pink dots on his cheeks, the pigment spreading across his face.

‘I had two in my life,’ he shows you his fingers.

‘That’s a lot,’ you tell him.

‘And then there's you.’

And then there's you.

Why did that sentence make you gulp slightly? Maybe it was because of the countless questions wandering around in your mind. What were you to him? Just a decent childhood memory to forget? A cherished childhood memory engraved in his heart? Something he had only come to remember today?

‘My best friend,’ that made you smile, contrasting to that of your usual poker-faced and empty canvas-like expression. The artist hovering from above you with his brush stretching your lips as wide as he could, as though he was a puppeteer and you were a marionette doll with no mind or heart of your own. But the act wasn’t as horrendous as it seems to be. For you don’t regret smiling.

‘Looks like the promise..’

‘Y/N, and Yoongi!’ your teacher has never irked you this badly. But.. as they say, you never know what happens.

‘Yoongi,’ you poke him lightly.

‘Smile,’ you whisper, his ears catching on and obeying your orders.

‘No talking in my class. If I catch you one more time detention it is for you, Y/N.’

‘Yoongi.. I expected you to behave. But.. I guess Y/N got to you,’ you don’t miss the scowl she sends your way.

‘Y/N’s at it again,’ those were the last words she uttered before returning to her lesson.

*Ring*

Looks like the bell was on your side this time.

‘Class is dismissed,’ her pointing stick is shoved into her tote bag, her heels disappearing at the door.

‘Huhh.. Finally,’ students sigh in relief.

‘Y/Niee.. Wait for me,’ he holds your hand in his, your body relaxing immediately at the contact.

‘I’m sorry for getting you in trouble. I’d understand if you’d want to avoid me,’ that breaks his heart.

Why on earth are you saying that?

‘No..  Why would I do that?’

‘That’s what happened years ago. After I was deemed as the “trouble maker”, my friends all avoided me.’

These “friends” of yours. If he were to ever come across them, he’d have to have a little chat with them. Or in his language. Tie them up in rope, and make them confess to their sins.

‘I’d never let our friendship fall for such silly things like that. You’re worth much more than that,’ he pats you on the head.

‘Whoever these “friends” of yours are.. They don't deserve you. A friend will stick with you through thick and thin. The fact that they let go of your hand for a mere rumour speaks for everything!’

‘Why do you sound so angry, Yoonie?’ you tease.

‘Because you don’t deserve this,’ he replies honestly.

‘Now.. Let's get onto something more light. Our first day together shouldn’t be spent on such gloomy and meaningless topics.’

You nod in return, pleased in knowing that after all of this time there is someone willing not only to stay by your side but to stand up for you.

‘What’s your favourite colour?‘ he feigns unfamiliarity, even though the colour he believed to be your favourite is frolicking across the tip of his tongue. His eyes crinkling in utter joy at the recollection of you and your many purple bracelets.

‘Black,’ time changes people, he forgot that.

But change is what we all need in order to grow. He’ll frown for a few days, realising how he doesn't know you well like he once did. Nevertheless, he’ll get to know you. The present version of yourself.

‘What’s your favourite movie?’ the questions don't stop rolling in.

‘Oh.. Come on! You know how easily distracted I get,’ you grimace at his faked oblivion. It might have been years since you have met, but regardless of what, you still know him to a certain degree. No matter how many times he’d dip himself in pretend curiosity, you’d still be able to distinguish whether he was playing with you or genuine in his actions. Right now he was digging through a mine filled with gems, and putting on an act of not being aware of what lies underneath. A part of him very much knows the answers to these questions and is just testing whether he is right or not.

‘Do you have a crush on someone?’ his babbling that doesn't come to an end is a disguise used to hide the real motive behind it all. The crush he had ever since you both turned eight, and the one that never managed to fade away.

He has to know this. To know whether he’s a possible candidate to snatch a place in your heart, or if that spot has already been taken.

‘Yes,’ those words splatter at his once sparkling hope, replacing it with despair.

‘Who?’ he struggles to hide the frown knocking at him, yet a teasing smirk manages to caress his face.

‘... Kim.. Kim Taehyung,’ lies spill from your lips. The last time you spoke to Taehyung was three years ago - when he forgot to bring his pencil. The last time you got a glimpse of him was two weeks ago - when you accidentally bumped into him.

Either than that, Kim Taehyung is invisible to you as you are invisible to him.

‘The school’s heartthrob?’ looks like he’s got another reason (aside from the boxy-smiled boy’s continuous persistence of wanting to be friends) to hate the fellow.

‘Mmhmm,’ you nod, wishing ever so desperately that he doesn't catch on to your lie. He probably already found you pitiful enough. Why add more to the hundred reasons to feel bad for you? Making up a little crush wouldn’t hurt anyone. Or will it?

‘He’s my neighbour. I can talk to him for you. If you’d like me to that is,’ as much as he wanted you for himself, and as much as he wanted to fight for you. How was he supposed to do so? Especially when your heart already has been set somewhere.

For you to be happy and well. That's what he wanted most. And even if that happiness had to come in the form of a tall, and brown-eyed teenager dressed in denim. So.. It was.

Min Yoongi is a good judge of character, and he knew that Kim Taehyung was nothing but a good-looking lad dragged into the spotlight simply because his nose was prominent, his eyes were alluring, and his deep voice was regarded as attractive.

In the name of love, Min Yoongi was one big idiot who doesn't know how gifts work or how particular signs meant. He’s only been in love once in this nearly two decades of his. And that's to you. Therefore, How does a man who is clueless as a chipmunk get the girl? He screws up and learns from it.

‘You don’t have to,’ it’s either he fell for it, or he’s pretending not to know. You don't want neither. You just want him to push you against the wall and claim your lips as his.

‘We only have barely a year left before the bear gets away.’

‘I’m not that desperate. You sound more desperate than I am.’

‘No, I’m not. Why would I be?’

Only for Yoongi, you were.

Only for you, he was.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

‘Kim Taehyung!’ his words pump up with resentment like a balloon filled up with the wrong type of gas.

‘It’s for Y/N.. It’s for Y/N.. It’s for Y/N,’ he chanted it in his head.

‘Taehyung-ah!’ more friendly, he thought.

‘Hyung!! You have finally decided to glance my way,’ he doesn't bother to hide his smile, his eyes beaming in utter glee.

‘We can be friends.’

Overjoyed and a level up of what over the moon felt like. Kim Taehyung was happy. Very happy.

‘Reallly?’

‘Yes,’ he’s already feeling guilty.

‘Taehyung, let me be honest with you. I came here because of Y/N,’ that’s when his face drops, shades of grey and white splattered across his expression.

‘Oh..’ he’s an open book.

‘She likes you. Will you do me a favour, and go out with her?’ half of Yoongi wanted him to say yes, and the other half didn't.

‘So, you’re not here because you want to be friends?’

‘No,’ he was already asking for too much, the least he can do was tell the truth. ‘You can think ab-’

‘I’ll do it,’ this was a great opportunity - too great for him to pass by, ‘When’s the date?’

‘Tomorrow, 4 pm. Cafe Bonsai.’

‘I’ll be there,’ that’s it, Taehyung’s big plan. To get to know Y/N, make her tell him about Yoongi, and use that information to get his crush to fall head over heels for him.

That's how you ended up seated here, a bowl laying there with the remanence of spaghetti that was once dressed in bold red sauce as you face no other than Kim Taehyung.

‘I got you a date with you-know-who,’ Yoongi informed you, holding hands with the woman he introduced you to mere seconds ago. That ignited a fire in you. ‘Make Yoongi Jealous.. Steal Yoongi’s heart,’ your head went on, a faux grin sent his way.

‘So.. Will you tell me about yourself?’ he wakes you up from your daydream with a genuine question sculpted from his child-like curiosity and fondness towards people.

‘My dream job is to travel around the world. I’ve been saving up ever since I could get a part-time job,’ a perplexing smile pinches your lips. Was this too much to tell a person you've barely talked to twice?

‘That’s cool. Mine is to be a saxophonist,’ he pauses, ‘Just kidding. That was a silly childhood dream of mine. My dream job is to paint. I especially have an admiration towards impressionism.’

‘That’s cool,’ you were beginning to see him in a whole new light. The filter he puts on to play the role of the school’s heartthrob forgotten and put aside.

Both you and he are more alike than you’d like to admit. Those who hide behind a facade tend to forget who they are beyond it. But both you and him weren’t like that. You can fool the whole world, but you can’t fool yourself. For, when they all turn their heads away you’re simply dear old Y/N who eats cookies from a tin and he’s Taehyung who mixes paint in a can.

‘It is?’

‘Of course, it is,’ you nod in agreement.

‘Everyone else doesn't seem to agree. To them, art is the ticket to starvation and poverty,’ his fist tightens at the image of his parents throwing away his art. The blood, sweat, tears, and emotions that come along with them all tossed aside and replaced with resentment, anxiety, and pain. The textbooks clustered in numbers and signs a replacement that will supposedly lead to: ‘the key to his success.’

‘Ignore what they say. You know what is best for you and what you want and need better than anyone else does. If you want to paint, paint,’ your heart may beat for Yoongi, but your words aren’t limited to him.

‘Thank you, Y/N.. I’d love to talk more. But, it’s late now, I think we should part ways,’ he stands up from his chair.

‘Goodbye, Taehyung.’

‘Call me Tae.’

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Five months later ↴

‘Y/Niee... Come over here,’ Seori, Yoongi’s sixth girlfriend of the year, makes you scoot over to join the others.

But, wait a minute! Y/niee!!?? Only Yoongi gets to call you that. How dare-

‘1... 2... 3.. Cheese!’ you settle your arms around Yoongi and Taehyung’s hip, trying your best to not strangle her.

How long was this one going to last? Four days? Two weeks? One month?

Well.. little did you know, this would be the last of her. Turns out, Yoongi didn't like the whole ‘Y/niee’ situation just as much as you did. In his words: ‘How dare you call my best friend that! Just because I call her that, doesn't mean you can. We should end this. I don't like people like you. People who think with their feet.’

You might think. Isn’t that a silly reason to break up with someone? In Yoongi‘s world, it wasn’t like that. He was dating simply because you couldn't be his.

The amount of women he has left broken-hearted has earned him a name - pretty boy. Legend has it, that the pretty boy is easy to fall in love with but hard to make fall in love back. He has innocent features and round cheeks, yet no heart to be found. Once you mess up once, out the drain you go. And when we say mess up, we mean: accidentally bumping into pretty boy’s best friend because your shoelaces were untied. You get the picture.

‘Where are we Yoongi?’ you observe your surroundings, taking in the sculptures that are displayed everywhere.

‘Welcome to my workshop,’ a wave of satisfaction and pride hit him in the form of the curving of his lips.

‘Woah. Did you make these?’ you stare in awe at the array of flower sculptures that lay neatly next to one another.

‘I did,’ he bobs his head slightly, his excitement at its peak upon seeing how amazed you appear to be.

‘Yeon-ki.. Why haven't you shown me this before?’ your voice comes out weirder than it normally would.

‘I thought you wouldn’t be interested,’ he scratches his head, burrowing his face into the charcoal black t-shirt he wore.

‘Min Yoongi.. Oh, Yoongi.. My dream job when I was thirteen was to be a sculptor.’

‘Oh, really? Mine started ever since I was eight. Growing up with a mother who ran a dumpling shop does a thing or so to you,’ he chuckles, memories of two tiny hands sealing the edges of a kimchi and pork dumpling coming back to him.

‘How come you never told me that?’ you pout, thinking of how you used to tell each other everything.

‘I was embarrassed,’ he remembered the day his teacher asked him: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’

‘A sculptor,’ that’s when the class broke down into laughter, his cheeks pink from humiliation.

Now how was he going to tell you? That he didn't want to tell his crush (who also happens to be his best friend) about his dream job, because he didn't want her to find him weird like the other children did and leave him...

From his perspective as a grown-ass man, children find anything funny.

‘Yoongi.. When I was eight years old I wanted to be a kitty cat,’ you giggle, your third-grade classroom visible from the corner of your eyes.

‘Y/N.. What do you want to be when you grow up?’

‘Uhh.. Uhh.. A kitty cat, Ms Seo,’ even the teacher starts cracking up.

‘Ahh.  I remember you telling me that.’

How can you be this adorable? He swears he’s melting right now, his heart all mushy and soft. Oh- But you’re not his...

‘Wanting to be a sculptor isn’t even one bit embarrassing,’ you scowl.

To him it was.

‘He He,’ he’s feeling shy, light giggles coming from his lips.

The ‘Min Yoongi’ shy? Only for you, it seems. No one makes him feel like you do.

‘So.. Why are we here?’

‘We haven’t been hanging out with one another lately. So.. I thought. Why not do something fun for once?’ he points at the clay sealed in transparent airtight bags over on the table.

‘Pottery?’ you conclude.

‘Pottery,’ he verifies your speculation.

‘I will teach you how to make your own piece!’ never has he ever been this enthusiastic over something. This was his craft after all, his escape from boring essays and equations. The love of his life - after you of course. Even dumplings found themselves in third place over time.

‘I want to make matching mugs,’ ideas spring up in your head like brushes swirling in water.

‘You’re that excited?’ his face is going to start hurting from all of this smiling.

‘Mmm.. I am,’ fuck that, you’re worth all of his smiles.

‘Do you want me to show you how first, or do you want me to guide you along?’

‘Guide along,’ you let him tie your apron on, his hands hovering above your curves.

‘Just like that,’ he finishes the last knot, your body paralysed out of nervousness and your heart pounding palpably away. The sound of your heartbeat was like music being played at the lowest volume possible. The vibrations barely clear, but still existing. The melody quiet and only picked up if listened to meticulously.

‘What are you waiting for? Sit down, Y/niee.’

Min fucking Yoongi! I’m about to pounce at you, you clueless yet ridiculously lovable freak that I wish were mine - you cursed in your head, sitting down obediently.

‘Apply pressure onto the clay,’ he instructs, the confusion reflecting on your eyes reminding him of his earlier days.

The days in which he just started learning. First was the paper flowers, then the pottery, and now the sculptures. He was making his way through it one by one, hoping he’d master it all in the near future. Materials like breezeblocks, plaster of paris, soapstone, alabaster, serpentine and wonderstone he had carved away. The amount of materials he has lost possibly forming a mountain. Yet the many pieces he has created out of all of it was worth every lost and aching muscle.

He’d move on to marble soon, and to be honest, he’s eager as fuck. And a reasonable amount of: ‘I’m scared for my life.’ That’s what he likes to think.

Marble is expensive, and tricky to work with. However, as a sculptor, he was willing to try everything out. Who knows, maybe marble might end up being his end game.

‘You have to centre it,’ his hands overlap yours, guiding you through the divine art of pottery.

‘Like this.. There we go,’ your back pressed against him, results in the zapping of a lightning-like sensation in your chest.

‘Now, we have to form a hole,’ the clay smooth against your bare hands, both satisfying to touch and watch as it goes through a magical transformation on the wheel.

‘We are almost done,’ his hands now around your waist.

How can you move at this rate?

‘Relax.. Pottery is supposed to calm you down, not stress you out,’ so you do calm down, your hands moving the way he wants you to. Your heart the polar opposite.

‘Now we remove it, and let it air dry,’ he’s careful to not harm the shape of the mug as he cuts it off, placing it on another table.

‘Time to make the other one,’ he does as you did minutes ago, his hands like waves colliding in the ocean. Every moment his body moves, a marble being quarried somewhere.

‘Woah,’ that makes him smile. You make him smile, his motions not ceasing to exist. His fingers dancing along with clay that continues to spin around, the twirling coming to a halt at last.

‘We’ll come back tomorrow. They need to dry overnight.’

‘So, this is it?’ you frown, realising that your time with Yoongi is no more.

‘No.. I’ve got something else planned,’ and now you were content yet again.

‘What do you have planned?’ curiosity was yet to be reduced like the many slabs of rock Yoongi has in store. He’ll have to carve this one first though. Taking away your curiosity, and leaving you with blocks of utter satisfaction.

‘A-’ that’s when his phone starts ringing violently.

‘Oh.. Shit. I have to go, Y/N.’

‘Why?’ I guess those pieces of excess rock barricading your heart will have to stay for today.

‘My girlfriend is in trouble,’ he genuinely likes this one.

Maybe this would be the key to getting over you?

‘You should call Tae to pick you up,’ his name no longer holding bitterness. Yoongi has grown attached to the man now equipped with cerulean blue hair. He was a bit quirky, yet sweet. A lot quirky actually. But... Nonetheless, sweet.

‘I will! Please call me once you get home.’

And soon he realised how wrong that statement would be. There is no key to getting over you. Even if there is, It sure isn’t humanely possible.

You have his heart in your hands. You have the power to crush it into pieces or to protect it with all of your might. At the moment, you have it dangling from your hands. So close, yet so far... That was Yoongi and Y/N - you and him.

With your departure, bits of his happiness trail after you. His heart plunged out of his chest.

He’ll help her today, but break up the next. It's the least he could do out of decent courtesy.

However.. when he arrived he was pulled away. A pair of lips pressed to his.

‘You came,’ her hands placed blatantly on his neck.

‘Hwa-Young!’ he pulls away.

‘Hwa-Young,’ those same words graze your lips as it did his.

The one that left you behind for a rumour. The friend who promised she would stick with you until the very end, but left before the waters even thickened.

Hwa-Young.. A beautiful flower. She was beautiful alright. But some flowers are just so rotten inside, even their petals start falling apart.

Did Yoongi leave you just to kiss her? Did Yoongi bail on your date for this? Were you to a point so not worthy of his attention, that he’d rather spend it with someone else? Stop! Stop! You can’t just assume what is going on, without knowing what happened!

That's right! You can ask Yoongi tomorrow. He’ll explain to you everything. And all will be fine. He did not leave you to kiss your former friend. He probably doesn't even know who she is. If he does, he’ll probably break up with her. But.. What if Yoongi loves her. You don't want to be in his way. But... Your friendship!!

It’s all too much for your brain to comprehend.. Your head feels like it's about to explode, and you can’t stop the tears from coming. You had no one but yourself if Yoongi we're to leave.

You can’t fend for yourself again!

Lone wolves are always the first to go. Lone wolves are always the most vulnerable to pain, trouble and death. That's how it is. And how it always will be.

Wait! Wait! You have Taehyung.. You aren’t alone after all.

‘Fuck..’ you cuss, the gateway to agony’s twin sister staring right at you. Your existence, a speck of sculpting debris to be thrown out with the rest.

‘I’m finally home,’ not a glance to be given. Not a bother to be seen. And not another word to be spoken.

Yoonie (Best Friend) - Direct Message

You: I saw you

Yoongi:??

You: With her

Yoongi: It’s not what it looks like

You: That's what they all say

You: Good night, Min

Yoongi: Y/N??

Yoongi: Honey?

Yoongi: Y/niee??

‘Y/N! Honey!’ you know very well of what you had to do.

You have to talk. You have to let him explain himself.

‘Yoongi..’ your downhearted expression causes a rift between his sadness and anxiety. A rift that was indecipherable from start to finish.

‘Bench?’ he suggests, not wanting your legs to ache by the time this conversation ends.

‘Mhmm,’ you mumble incoherently.

‘I liked this one more than I did others,’ he admits, covering your legs with his varsity jacket. He’s not letting you shrivel up in the cold. Not now, or ever..

‘You do?’ you lean onto him, taking his warmth in with you.

‘I did,’ he corrects.

‘She tricked me. She called saying that her car was being towed away and that she needed help. When I arrived, there was no car or truck. I was pushed into the corner, and she started kissing me. That's when I knew, she wasn't the one.’

That there was no one like you, he wanted to say.

‘That’s terrible,’ you sigh, your anger soothing away.

Yoongi would never do that to you. You have let your doubt towards this world and its people get to you once again. But... Can anyone blame you? It was them who made you this way.

Inside you smiled, knowing he was sticking by your side no matter what happens. Your bitterness towards Hwa-Young intense.

‘Now.. Your story.’

‘I was walking home and I saw you and her.. Kissing.. Then.. I- left,’ you halt.

‘She’s the friend I told you about in the beginning,’ if he was resentful before, now he was enraged.

‘I’m sorry,’ even if he didn't know before, he felt the need to apologise. And so he did.

‘You didn't know. The fact that you dated her hurts me. But... You didn't know.’

‘Are we still best friends?’ he hopes that title, regardless of this, continues to stand.

‘Yoongi. Our friendship is much more than that.’

He knows that. He was just testing.

‘So.. If I were to kiss you right now, you wouldn’t mind it?’ your heart.. Sjdbhdhdjdhfhf  What the blueberry muffins and oranges is this man trying to do!?!!

‘I’m with Taehyung,’ that hits him hard.

‘That was an insensitive question. Wasn't it?’ he timidly covers up his face.

‘Just don’t let Tae hear you,’ you both giggle.

Yet neither one of you mean it.

You’ve never kissed Tae before. You have had a platonic relationship all the way from day one to now.

‘You don’t like me.. do you?’

‘Wu-what do- you mean by that,’ you were always bad at lying.

‘Yoongi? You like him. Don’t you?’

‘How.. did-’

‘I just do.’

He wanted to say: ‘You look at each other as though you are in love.’ But... He didn't.

‘Don’t tell him,’ oh how familiar those words are.

‘Do you like her?’

‘What?!’ he needed a more specific question.

‘Do you like Y/N?’ that freezes him in place. His body is like stone that is unable to move about.

‘Y/N.. What? Yeah, she's my best friend. Of course, I like her,’ he firmly asserts.

‘Not like that. You know what I mean.’

‘Fine.. Fine.. You win. I like Y/N.’

‘Don’t tell her,’ he snorts at the memory of Yoongi pleading ever so desperately.

‘We should go inside.. Shouldn't we?’ his fingers lace with yours, sauntering along as he carefully brings you with him.

‘We graduate in four more months. Isn’t that crazy?’

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Four Months Later ↴

‘Happy Graduation!’ the three of you clatter your glasses filled with fizzing soda together.

‘The day we break up,’ you thought.

‘The day they break up,’ he thought.

Shit! What if Taehyung doesn't want to end this? Shit! Wouldn't Y/N end up hurt by this?

‘Did you-’

‘We broke up,’ if he’s shocked, he sure doesn’t show it.

He always knew this day was going to come sooner or later. What he was going to feel or how he was going to deal with it, on the other hand, is something he didn’t know.

‘Where is Y/N? Is she okay? Oh.. Tae..’ he collapses into his arms.

Shit.. Shit!! His heart! The love of his life crying about you in his arms. About nine months ago, he would have taken this as an opportunity for him to snatch Yoongi up. But… this love story doesn’t include him. He’s a mere side character that blurs away in the background. A character that can either break or make the story. For as much as how trivial he is, his decisions affect the story.

And he was no monster.

‘She’s at home. She dumped me.’

‘She dumped you?’ oh how foolish Yoongi was, Taehyung had thought. He himself was not any different though. A fool in love.. Too blind to see the truth in front of him.

‘She did.’

‘Are you hurt? Do you like her?’ he didn't need to be reminded of his reality.

What was he supposed to say? No.. I don't. I don't like her that way. You.. See. I’m not attracted to women. Y/N is this wonderful woman and I adore her more than anything in this world (maybe a little more than I adore you) but she’s like my little sister. Okay Okay.. She’s older than I am. But, you get what I mean. She’s like a sister to me.

‘No,’ nor does she like me he almost says. In that sense of course.

‘Take care. Get home safely, Tae,’ those words ring in his ear.

Why are you so caring Min Yoongi? Make me hate you! Make me hate you! Because you being kind is worse than you not being mine.

Oh, Y/Niee.. Sweep him off of his feet already. I want to move on.

‘Y/N! Are you in there, honey!’ the knocks that pass through to you is just another reminder of how love will never be yours.

‘Yoongi?’ your voice is tiny as you open the door.

‘Food,’ he lifts the lunch box to show you.

‘I dumped him.’

‘I know,’ he releases the food to the open world.

‘I know about your request,’ shit.. is that why.

‘Are you mad at me?’ you bastard, that's not what you are supposed to say.

‘That’s why I agreed on the date,’ you take the chopsticks out.

Why should you lie?

‘Do you love him?’ Min Yoongi, you stupid fuck!

‘No,’ he wasn't relieved.

‘Why the nine months?’

‘Because I wanted to love him,’ because I love you.

‘It didn't work though. You can’t fool this,’ you put your hand against your beating heart.

‘You had a crush on him?’

‘Admiration and love are two different things,’ he sticks the spoon into the soup.

‘Do you feel like eating?’

Do you feel like anything?

‘No,’ he tugs the food back into its packaging.

‘Those mugs we made. Remember them?’ you nod.

‘Do you want yours?’ you nod.

‘They came out nice,’ a subtle smile moulds onto your face.

‘We’ve been distant these four months. Only talking at school, and barely meeting up outside. Even the conversations held at school were scarce.’

Avoiding him was your way of coping.

‘Was it Hwa-Young?’

‘No..’

Hwa-Young didn't bother you, the way his lips embraced hers did. It snapped something inside you. A brutal mess of phrases in your head that wouldn’t stop returning. ‘He’ll never kiss you like that.’ ‘He’ll never be yours.’ ‘He’ll never love you like that.

‘Then what was it?’ a single presence of happiness never glazes his face.

‘Does there have to be a reason for everything?’

‘Y/N.. I’m trying to fix this relationship.’

Yoongi.. I’m trying to protect myself.

‘Get out,’ you’re not keen on starting a fight.

‘Don’t forget to eat what I brought,’ he closes the door, his lingering warmth on the couch floating away just as your loneliness kicks in once again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A Week Later  ↴

‘Hello... It’s me..’

‘Y/N,’ his eyebrows quirk up at your voice, ‘How are you?’

‘Yoongi. It's been a week since I have seen him, Tae.’

‘What happened?’ concern he had shown.

‘I shut him out.. I didn't - don't want to get hurt. Not like this.’

‘I saw him yesterday. I asked about you, and he said you were doing great.’

‘Bastard,’ you couldn't help but hiss.

‘He didn't look good, Y/N. We were catching up over lunch yesterday, and the whole time he was grumpy and extra pissy. Kept on looking at his phone as though someone were to message him. Nothing ever came, and he pouted throughout the whole hour.’

‘He barely took two bites of the food he ordered.’

Frowns.. Frowns. Oh, silly little thing. He should be taking care of himself.

‘Maybe he didn't like it.’

‘We were at his mother’s dumpling shop. He ordered dumpling soup. His favourite.’

‘Oh..’

You foolish bastard..

‘You should check on hi-’

‘No.. You should,’ he cuts you off.

‘I’m done playing middleman. How long are you going to drag this on? You like him, and he-’

‘Never mind.. It isn’t my place to tell you this. Have a nice day, Y/N.’

The phone call ends, and you go rushing for your coat.

‘Yoongi.’

‘You’re here,’ he was a little kitty waiting for its owner to come home.

‘Y/N!’ he isn’t a man of affection, but hugging you was necessary.

‘It’s cold,’ he hauls you inside.

‘I missed you,’ you break the silence away.

‘I did too.’

‘Why have you been avoiding me recently?’

‘Do I have to answer that?’

‘Goodness gracious, Y/N... I love you.’

The last time he cried in front of someone was when people allowed it. When he was a six-year-old child who was oblivious to what the cruel world could offer. The last time he cried was when he was showering. His whimpers blended in with the quiet of the night and that of the water trickling down his back and legs.

The water could hide his pain, casting him in a shield of protection. ‘Why can’t you be mine?’ he initially wanted to scream then. But, energy was something he no longer possessed. All that came out was a low sob of distress.

‘I-’

Words Y/N! Words...

‘I’m leaving for Paris tomorrow. Let's have one last movie night at my place.’

First the ‘I love you,’ and now this?

‘Paris?’

‘Sculpting.’

‘Oh..’

You lost him once. And now he was about to slip through your fingers yet again.

Min Yoongi is no piece of stone that you can easily keep in place. He’s sand. He’ll get away one way or the other.

‘Titanic.. Why titanic? I thought you weren't one for romance.’

Ever since you came into his life, he had been a sucker for romance novels and movies. Specifically: unrequited love stories with happy endings. That’s his favourite thing to watch over a weekend. Or rather, tear his eyes out wishing you were his as the male lead somehow gets the girl.

‘I love Romance.’

‘Okay.. Okay, mister.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you.’

Get out of my head, Min Yoongi!

Did she not hear what I said?

‘Y/N?’ you fell asleep.

Your brain couldn't handle all of that. Your body couldn't handle of that. Your heart couldn't handle all of that.

‘Morning.’

‘I fell asleep last night. Didn’t I?’

‘You did.’

*Ring*

‘I’ve got to take this,’ you direct at the phone.

‘Your morning tea is waiting for you on this table.’

‘Mhmmm.’

‘Tae?’

‘Paris. He’s going-’

‘I know.’

‘Damit.. You fools! Yoongi likes you.’

‘We’re best friends.’

‘He loves you.’

‘Best Friends can love each other.’

‘Goodness me oh my.. He has a fucking crush on you.’

‘How do-’

‘He told me.’

‘Confess already. Don’t let him get away..’

‘I won’t ask him to stay. Sculpting is his life.’

‘Plus, long-distance relationships don’t work.’

‘Just get it off of your chest.’

I’ll never get to do so myself.

‘I’m at his house.’

‘Movie night?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’m leaving for Spain.’

‘What? You too?’

‘Mmm..’

‘In the end, all I have is myself.. Isn’t it?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry. I’ll survive somehow.’

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Time of Departure ↴

‘Yoongi.. Before you leave, I want to tell you the real reason to why I broke up with Taehyung.’

You stood there, desperately hoping it will all turn out well.

‘Y/N.. Can’t you tell me some other time,’ his luggage is propped up against the wall, his legs leaning against the door.

‘No.. Yoongi.’

‘There is no other time.’

‘Is it important?’ he pouts.

‘It very much is,’ you confidently state.

‘Now.. Go on.’

‘I- I-’

Dammit!

‘I- I like you.’

‘And I love you,’ he knows what’s coming next, yet he didn't want to give up.

Even if there’s only a pinch of hope left.

‘I do too,’ you look into his eyes, the darkness within it glimmering with a dot of unrelenting wishfulness.

‘Not like that, you fool. I love you.. As in- As in: I want to push you against the wall and kiss you stupid.’

‘Yeah.. That I love you,’ you smile, rubbing your fingers over and over again.

‘I’ve been crushing on you ever since we were six. When we were eleven I’d follow you around like a lost puppy. And then you moved away. But the universe wanted us to meet again. We did.’

‘Eight-year-old me wanted to marry you. We can’t do that just yet. But..’

‘Min Yoongi.. The one with the lovely eyes who talks way too much and can’t focus for fuck’s sake. Will you be my boyfriend?’

He nods, his cheeks pink.

‘Words, Min.’

‘Yes.’

‘Now go on.. Go to Paris and become a megastar of a sculptor, or whatever people these days call it.’

Long-distance relationships. You were so against that idea. After all: ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind.’

However, this was the boy who had haunted your dreams for the seven years he was gone. He’s an exception. Always was and always will be.

‘Y/N..’

You thought he’d leave. You thought he’d walk away. But.. He didn't.

He embraced you into a tight hug.

Oh how badly he had been yearning for this moment to arrive.

‘You know Y/N, I never thought I’d see you again. I’m so glad I did,’ his words vibrate against your neck.

‘There are plenty of colleges in Korea where I can major in sculpting.’

‘But...’

‘Shh.. Let me confess something,’ his fingers touch your lips, hushing you.

‘Paris was just me trying to run away from what I wanted and needed. You.’

‘Y/N-’

‘No,’ you cut him off, ‘I get to say it.’

‘You already did.’

‘Does it look like I care whether I have said it or not?’

‘Nope.’

‘Then.. Will you be my fluffy little dumping?’

‘Yes..’

Smiles.. Smiles.. Oh, how could you stop smiling?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Tears.. Tears.. Oh, how could you stop crying?

‘Yoongi! Yoongi!’ your lungs could drop out any second now.

‘He can’t hear you. We’re ghosts in this realm,’ Jimin looks over to your puffy eyes.

‘Why me? Why did I have to die? Why me?’

‘Namjoon’s next,’ the angel ticks something off with his quill.

‘All of this is just business to you.. Isn’t it?’

‘My memories are nothing but something you have to tick off of that stupid list of yours. Isn’t it?’

‘It’s my job,’ not a dose of sympathy to be shown.

‘You’re a devil. Not an angel.’

‘I’m just Jimin.’

‘Fuck you Jimin.’

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Min Yoongi has invited to you to his sculpting exhibition!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Twenty Eight Years Before Your Death ↴

‘Darling, look how gorgeous she is,’ the sight of your tiny body cradled into the tenderness of the pink fabric thaws through the heart of even the iciest woman to ever exist.

‘She’ll live such a good life. Won’t she? We’ll take care of her so well,’ your father dreams of the life you were to live. But all of this was nothing but a reverie of his. The opposite of the life fate has bestowed upon you.

‘Wahh!!’ that was the last of your childhood.

Because just a few days after, your family business was no more. Your mother’s bakery branches were shut down, and the only person supporting you now was your father.

‘It’s all your fault!! After you were born, everything started going wrong!!’

‘As compensation for what you have done, you’ll become the perfect daughter for me. Won’t you?’

‘I’ll make sure you will,’ evil was a close friend of hers.

‘Wahhh!!’

‘Stop crying you little thing!’

_______________________________________________

Twenty Four Years Before Your Death ↴

‘Mama,’ you tug on her sleeves.

‘Stop it!’ she grimaces, struggling to pull you off.

‘Mama,’ you don’t give up, your lips pushed out into a pout, and your eyes filled with water.

‘Just sit down and colour in your books like a good little girl.’

‘Mama,’ you demand her constant attention.

‘Get off of me.. It’s annoying!’ she spits out words you aren’t at the age to comprehend properly.

‘Waaaahh!!’ you roll on the floor crying.

‘Huh,’ she snickers at your behaviour.

‘Quit crying like a child already.’

What did she expect from you? You were four. A child, too innocent and young for this world.

Yet you keep whining for her. Maybe because you didn't understand a thing she uttered, or maybe because you just wanted to feel loved.

_______________________________________________

Twenty Years Before Your death ↴

Eight years old, and not a sign of any sort of dream brushed over your eyes. The sky has never looked duller.

As though you haven’t suffered enough already, life pushes you down a hill before you even got up. It couldn’t wait a decade. It had to happen now.

‘Meet your baby sister,’ you revelled at the new beginning ahead of you, however, angels are nothing but devils in disguise.

It only took a few months.

‘Oh my God, Y/N.. Why can't you act like your sister? Look at how precious she is,’ your mother’s coos ring in your ears like nails against chalkboards.

‘Will you look at that. She draws so well. What can you do?’

‘Don’t be picky. Your sister is eating well.’

‘Your sister is so cute and well-behaved. Why aren’t you like that?’

Going to bed with tears streaming down your face, while knowing that you’ll never be accepted in this family. You grow up. Way faster than you wanted or needed. The innocence you once held so tightly on, a dandelion flowing away.

_______________________________________________

Ten Years Before Your death (high school) ↴

‘Ms Y/N.. I’m sorry to say this. But it seems like your grades have been dropping recently. Is there something that has been bothering you lately?’

‘No.. I must have studied the wrong chapter. Goodbye Ms Hae,’ you leave in a hurry, your forehead dripping with sweat.

Everywhere people are staring at you as though you are prey to be hunted and eaten. Whether it was at school, at home, or outside. Everywhere was the same.

Why do they have to be so nosy, and judgemental? Can’t they mind their own business? Was your father’s death something they wanted to know this desperately?

‘Huh..’ you sigh, fatigue knocking at every inch of your skin as you get on the bus.

Why does life have to be such a fucking bitch?

Looking out of the window as the sun sinks down and disappear from your sight, emptiness is all you feel.

_______________________________________________

Eight years Before your death (Yoongi)  ↴

‘You know.. I never knew I’d see you again.’

‘Isn’t that what I told you two years ago?’ he snuggles even closer, as the movie plays on the television screen.

‘Sort of,’ you agree nonchalantly.

‘You’re cute, Honey,’ he blushes at his own words.

‘You are too,’ you blush at your own words.

‘We’re both cute,’ the action film is ignored as you both turn into a mess of cherry red cheeks.

‘I think we should go to sleep now... Night Night, Yoongi,’ your voice is the last thing that echoes away as sleep hugs over the glass windows of your apartment. Even more powerful than rain could ever be.

That night he woke up at 2 am, only to carry you to your room. He couldn't let you sleep stuffed up on the couch. You deserve to be warm, loved, and safe.

‘Sweet Dreams, Honey,’ his lips trail your cheeks, his hands wrapped around your waist as the dream world catches him too.

_______________________________________________

Seven Years Before your Death (Namjoon) ↴

‘Namjoon-ah.. You got to be careful not to hurt yourself,’ Yoongi sweeps away what remains of the kitchen plates that we're accidentally knocked down.

‘I’m sorry,’ he rummages his fingers through his hair as a result of feeling guilty for what he had done.

‘It’s Okay,’ Yoongi’s hands find their way over to caress Namjoon’s cheeks.

Your heart melts into pieces that could presumably fit into moulds as you witness a scene you were never meant to. You had decided to pay a surprise visit at Yoongi’s, not knowing that Namjoon was going to be there too.

Having sneakily entered the password and quietly slipping in you were greeted by a bang. Your first instinct was to scream or run over to call the police, assuming that someone had broke in. Then you saw Namjoon. So.. You decided to stay quiet instead.

‘Y/N.. I can see you. Your hair is peaking out of the corner of the walls,’ Yoongi brings you out of your trance.

‘Suprise!!’ you yell out as you originally planned to.

‘What brings you here, honey?’

‘I missed you.’

‘I was going to visit you first, and Joonie later.’

‘Well.. Now, you have both of us,’ Namjoon tries walking over to you, but Yoongi holds him back.

‘There are still bits of ceramic scattered around. Don’t hurt yourself,’ you glance at the floor.

‘How foolish of me,’ he scratches his head in embarrassment.

‘It’s okay to be foolish. Don’t fret on it too much.’

_______________________________________________

Six and a half years Before your Death (Jin) ↴

‘Woah.. You can cook too? What can you not do?’ the sight of beef perfectly grilled to perfection, amazes you.

‘That’s right. I’m perfect,’ the narcissistic aspect of his personality shows.

‘No.. Just full of himself. Hasn’t changed one bit. This Hyung,’ Yoongi complains, a sprinkle of adoration glittering his opinion.

‘I am perfect! What you said really hurt my pride.. I’m disappointed, Yoongi-ah,’ the older man pouts, his luscious lips jutted out exaggeratedly. No wonder Namjoon despises portraits with all his heart. As much as it was popular during its time, it would never be able to bring out the beauty in people. It would never be able to highlight the charm of Jin’s plump lips at least.

‘I’m handsome! I’m wealthy! I have a stable job! I can draw! I can sing! I can cook! I’m handsome!’ Yoongi would have thrown in one of his usual remarks if it weren't for how adorable Jin appeared to be.

‘Can we just eat instead of fighting, my lovelies?’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ Jin playfully winks at you, picking up his utensils as he tugs a napkin into the neck of his shirt.

‘Already at it,’ Namjoon informs you, then proceeds to yank on his steak.

‘I’ll slice it for you,’ Yoongi offers, knowing how things could possibly go hay way when it comes to Namjoon.

‘What a sight,’ you grin foolishly to yourself.

_______________________________________________

Six years before your death ↴

‘What are you going to take up in college?’ rolling the seaweed and rice together, your mother asks.

‘I don’t want to go to college. I want to travel,’ you answer, the fragrant smell of sesame oil hitting your nose.

‘Nonsense,’ the sound of chopping against a wooden board intensifies.

‘But..’

‘Study law. Become a lawyer like your father was. Get married, have kids, and live a good life.’

‘I’m going to my room.’

:)  (Group Chat)

You: Can I stay at your place for a while?

Jin: Of course. You can stay as long as you want.

You: I don't want to invade your privacy

Yoongi: Honey, there is nothing to invade

You: .....

Joon: Stay as long as you want

You: :)..

You: Thank you so much

Yoongi: ;)..

Jin: I own the house

Yoongi: I live there -_-

_______________________________________________

Five years before your death (A year of dating) ↴

‘Three Boyfriends!!! Y/N what the fuck are you thinking!! I always knew you were different. But, how dare you slander the family’s name like that. I can’t believe you are my child!!’ Jin intends to walk inside, but you shake your head as a signal for him to stay where he is.

‘First, you refuse to go to college. Then you move out. Now, this!!!’

‘Why can’t you be normal for once?! Bring one man home, that's all you had to do. Yet you decide to be a fucking whore and bring three. Unless you start acting like your sister for once, don’t ever step into my house!! You are not welcomed here!!’

‘I don’t have a child like you!!!’

‘Y/N-ah.. Let's go, honey,’ Yoongi doesn't bother to glance your mother's way, his hands clenched into tight fists as he brings you to the car.

‘Why!!! Why can’t she understand me?! Why can’t she see that I love all of you?’

‘Baby, What she says doesn't matter,’ Namjoon attempts to console you.

‘He’s right. Only what you think matters. You love us, so you’re not going to leave,’ Yoongi entangles your fingers with his.

‘Mmm.. I’ll never leave you. Ever!’

‘Car,’ you point at the door, implying that they should let you in.

‘We’ll protect you regardless of what happens. So, please don't be afraid. You’re ours,’ Jin starts the engine, driving past the house he will forever keep you from. Away from your mother's nonsense, and the people you once called family.

For your real family is right here. The people who listen, understand, care and love you. Even if you haven't known them all your life, you know you can trust them.

_______________________________________________

A year and a half before your death ↴

‘I’m planning to start travelling,’ you inform the boys over breakfast.

‘When?’ a grouchy Yoongi pouts in curiosity, rubbing his eyes open.

‘Next week,’ looks like none of them will be needing coffee, for your words make their eyes pop open wide and clear. Not even a shot of expresso would be able to do so.

‘Next Week!’ Jin exclaims, startled by the news. But.. Who was he to stop you? He knew just how much travelling meant to you. And even if it meant that you’d be gone from him, it didn’t matter. As long as you were happy and well, he was too. Yet that selfish part of him didn't want to let you go. Fighting with yourself isn’t fun though. You always get hurt.

‘Yes!’ the bright smile on your face fades all his worry and longing away.

‘How long will this travelling last,’ Namjoon takes a bite of his egg sandwich.

‘Six months,’ Yoongi almost chokes on his orange juice.

‘I’ll try to visit once every week and call you as frequently as possible.’

‘Did you pack yet?’ Jin no longer has the appetite to eat.

‘Yes!’

‘You must be really excited honey,’ Yoongi pats you gently, kissing the top of your head.

‘I am.. So much.’

_______________________________________________

A year before your death ↴

You wander across the pathway, flower petals scattered across the ground. Looking at the beauty before you, you couldn’t help but think. ‘Oh, how so badly I would want to share this with them.’

Joonie would get those sudden bursts of creativity of his, the pink petals captured perfectly in a landscape painting. Yoonie would carve a sculpture inspired by what he sees, a woman covered entirely in leaves and flowers. Her fingers made out of twigs, and her body the shade of wood. Even the thought of it excites you.

Jin? Oh, he would most definitely design a gown overflowing with pink petals. You don't know how fashion illustrating works, but whatever he designs will be more than impressive. Attractive and alluring just like him.

Sweet Family -.- (Group Chat)

You: How’s life 926 km away from me?

Jin: Horrible :(..

Jin: These freaks are nothing without you.

You: Aww.. Did they miss me?

Yoongi: Yes -_-

Yoongi: How’s Japan though?

You: Pretty just like you

Yoongi: Did you have fun?

You: Yes

You: Also.. Did you just ignore what I said? -_-

Yoongi: You always call me pretty -_-

You: But it's true

Yoongi: -_-

Joon: How’s life 926 km away from me?

You: The landscape is beautiful. I want to share it with you. You would love it so fucking much. Damn, I miss you.

Joon: Oooh..

You: What? -_-

Joon: Inspiration for art

Yoongi: Yes

Jin: You better show us the photos soon ;)..

Yoongi: Let's video call tonight.. I miss you

Joon: correction *we miss you*

Yoongi: -_-

You: Yes, Sir ;)..

_______________________________________________

Two Days before your death ↴

*phone ringing*

‘Namjoon?’

‘Namjoon?!’

‘It's been a month now. Aren’t you going to come home?’ the quiet that drips over the walls like spiders crawling over your feet.

‘Why did you call if you weren't going to say anything?’

‘Joonie?’

‘I’m afraid that I’m not Sir Joon,’ a voice sweet as saccharine flows away.

‘Then who are you?’ you nibble on your lips out of distress, the metallic taste of blood dismissed.

‘I’m a fellow artist of his. Sir Joon happens to be drunk at the moment, and you’re his emergency contact,’

‘Oh.. How badly drunk is he?’ you query further, anger washed away by concern.

‘He’s unconscious.’

‘You’re a colleague of his.. Aren't you?’

‘Yes..’

‘Can you please do me a favour, and send Joon safely back to his hotel,’

‘Yes.. Of course.’

‘Please don’t tell him I told you to do so,’ you plead.

‘Ye-s,’ he hesitantly answers.

‘0xx xxxx xx, that's my number. Please contact me when he has arrived safely.’

‘I will.’

+ 0xx xxxx xx (Unknown)

Unknown: I’ve dropped Sir Joon off at his hotel. He’s now sleeping in his room in utter serenity.

You: Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know how I’ll ever be able to repay you.

Unknown: No.. It's nothing really.

_______________________________________________

One day before your death ↴

‘Excuse me.. Can I please have a cup of tea? And perhaps a slice of lemon?’

‘If you wait for a moment, I will get back to you,’ the woman smiles, disappearing into the backdoor.

*ding*

Sweet Family -,-  (Group Chat)

Jin: How’s your day?

You: Great

Yoongi: I love you

You: You can’t say that all of a sudden

Yoongi: Yes I can :)...

You: -_-

Yoongi: -_-

Jin: -,-

You: Still no news from Joon! :(..

‘Miss.. I’m afraid we are out of tea.’ her voice brings your mind away from the conversation you once were indulged in. As though you were sucked away by a hurricane.

‘Oh- Is that so?’ you scratch your head shyly, bowing as your eyes tighten into a smile.

‘Yes,’ she walks away, shoving your attention back to the phone.

*ding*

Sweet Family -,-  (Group Chat)

Jin: Nope :(..

Yoongi: Hey! He’ll come back soon. He has to..

You: I don’t know. What if he doesn’t?

Yoongi: Then he’s an asshole

Yoongi: Anyways.. When are you coming home?

You: Now. They don't have my lemon tea. :(..

Jin: I’ll buy you some tomorrow

You: :)..

_______________________________________________

Day of Death ↴

You look out of the window and see the person you once were. That's when you realise how much you have grown.

From afar she looked alluring, yet back then she seemed so hideous.

‘Take care, Y/niee,’ their voices seem so faint in your head, while your body still shivers at the thought of that very night.

If only you hadn’t started packing your bags that day. If only you hadn’t walked out and onto the road ahead of you that day. If only things were different.

‘Don’t follow me,’ those words killed you.

‘Y/N.. Nooooooo!!!!’ Yoongi screamed angrily, yet his voice couldn't shelter you from the damage ahead.

The truck had already penetrated through your body. Your luggage hanging by the sidewalks like an open book, the clothes inside smeared with crimson blood. The full scene along with the night sky filled with stars that contrasted to your empty eyes like a Vincent Van Goh painting gone wrong.

‘Nooooooo!!!!’ they all run to your side, surrounding you as though that would change anything.

Namjoon stood there decked out from head to toe, his phone held close to his ear as he called the ambulance urgently. His feet were shaking anxiously, as his eyes filled with horror at every glance he takes of you. To try to calm himself down a little, he fiddled with the pockets of his tuxedo. That damn tuxedo! It was the reason for all of this. The reason why Namjoon hadn’t been home for days and then weeks.

He was always attending a party somewhere. He was an artist of course. With all his bristled brush tips and colourful canvases. You’d usually applaud him for that, but you’ve grown to hate him for that.

Because.. can’t he just come home for once? By now the whole city has his face inscribed in their minds. Everyone knows ‘Joon’. The world-renowned painter with immaculately dexterous hands, with paintings displayed all over the walls of art galleries from Seoul to Paris and to everywhere.

‘It’s my job, Y/N. Get used to it,’ that was the exact statement he had thrown at you.

‘It’s just a relationship. Is that what we are to you?’

‘Y/N.. Oh please. Weren't you the one travelling around the world just a year ago? We waited for you then. Even though we missed you so much our bones ached, we waited for you. And when you were back, we never said anything against you. Because this is your job. A job you absolutely fucking love! Just like mine. So, why are you complaining?! You did the same!’ he doesn't back down easily. No.. He refuses to back down easily.

‘Well.. Did I disappear for a month without saying anything?’ afraid he’d see how betrayed your heart felt, and how his words are daggers to your throat. Your lips overfill with sarcasm like glue dripping into a bucket, for giving up right now would have made you feel as though black strokes of paint were being smeared across your ego visibly made of fragile glass. The smudges so taunting and injected with vigour that it is likely to shatter what is yours with just one touch of a brush. Crushing it into half, then into shards, and then into fine dust compared to what it used to be.

Who would have known that the last painting he would give you would be this? Not one vibrant and filled with love, but one dull and filled with hatred.

‘No,’ he admits, your words a splash of water slapped harshly against his face. Pulling him out of a world in which his shameful lies were real.

‘I can’t believe you're turning this against me, just because you fucked up Namjoon. That’s right, I travelled around the globe last year. But, every trip lasted a week only. Why? Because I wanted to see my lovers, who I assume are waiting at home patiently for me..’ you make sure the word patiently is highlighted in your speech.

‘And every day I called you. No matter how busy or how much I felt like shit, I called you. And then there's you. Disappearing for a month while attending gatherings you don't need to. And you have the audacity to say: ‘Well... You’re not any different.’ Looks like your true colours are finally showing, Kim,’ you snap, what you spit out hurting you more than it does him.

‘I’ll go to my best friend's house for a while. I don't think I can stand your face as of now. Or ever really. Goodbye Kim,’ a spiteful smile reflecting the opposite of the bruising irritation dancing in your veins trails over the mask you wear. Too much of a coward to shed the tears stuffing up inside of you, your footsteps drag over the wooden stairs. A sound that will soon linger in Namjoon’s ears as a reminder of how you are now gone. And how he plays a huge part in it. No.. And how he’s the sole reason for it.

To your shared bedroom, you went, stuffing as many clothes as you could into the same luggage they got you for your birthday two years ago.

‘Y/N.. Where are you going, Honey?’ Yoongi questioned, frowning at the open drawers.

‘Namjoon and I fought. I’m going to be gone for a while.’

‘Oh.. Do you have to go? Can’t you talk this out,’ he came over to nuzzle his nose into the crook of your neck, sketching kisses all over your exposed skin. The last mark he’d ever be able to leave on you.

‘Yooni. Don’t miss me too much. I won’t be gone for long.’

Little did you know, that very sentence would be nothing but a lie.

‘I lo-lov- love yo-u,’ blood spills from your throat, as your eyes shut close. Yet until your last breathe, with every cell you had left you recited, ‘Remember them.. You must remember them.’

Yoongi and his gummy smile, Jin and his soft smile, Namjoon and his dimples. You could rest in peace knowing you’d remember the very image of the loves of your life. You didn't have to hold them again, touch them again, kiss them again, or make love to them again. Just remembering would be enough.

‘Y/Nnnnnnn!!’ Yoongi cried, his voice echoing in the empty corner of the streets. Anyone who passed by would have thought, ‘The prisoners of hell must be drowning in lava right now. This must be their cries for help.’

‘Honey lemon tea for Y/N,’ Jin smiled to himself, unaware of what life had installed for him.

‘Y/N..’ the hot beverage glides down his legs, the burning sensation one he would soon choose to ignore.

‘Y/N!!’ his feet glided through the air, and his hands tightened around you.

‘Yoo-ongi.. Please tell me I’m dreaming?’

‘She’s gone Hyung.. She’s gone!!!’ outrage and grief punctures his heart with a rusted blade, the assaults hurting him but refusing to kill him.

‘I love you.. That was the last of her.’

‘And I didn't even get to hear it,’ Jin’s bloodshot eyes bleed with tears, his soul empty now that you are gone. If walking across a bed of thorns was painful, then what was this?

_______________________________________________

For two decades you were taught to live for someone else. To appear as perfect and without a single flaw on the outside, despite how broken you were on the inside. You have learnt how to pull away from those chains. The scars of the past only showing when life gets hard.

You had moved on after all this time. But.. Maybe moving on was just that. A glint of hope that was to be taken away. For happy endings were never meant for you.

In the beginning, it never was. So watching your corpse dusted with blood from a window in the sky, you murmur, ‘How foolish of me to think I’d be happy like everybody else.’

Yet at that moment your wistful gaze only has eyes for three people. Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon, and Kim Seokjin.

‘I’m Jimin..’ a man with wings appears before you.

‘I’m your guardian angel,’ he smiles, his teeth showing.

‘That voice,’ you thought to yourself.

‘Familiar.. Isn’t it?’ fuck, he could read your mind.

‘I’m afraid that I’m not Sir Joon,’ he giggles.

That’s when it all comes back to you.

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