#flotsamxthomas

He woke in a good mood. Even going back to bottle mode didn't feel as intense as it did the first time now that he'd gotten to switch back and forth. There was a safe feeling in knowing all he had to do was take off the necklace if Valerie really needed to. All Flo's little secret fears and true wishes were out of the bag so to say and Thomas and his wolf helped put Flo at ease there too. Halloweening was on the list of to dos. So Flo wasn't freaking out. Everything was going to be okay no matter where in the world they were. He still wanted to get away after all he'd learned of himself in the middle of what else had been stressing him. So he was back to escapism mode with the vacation wanting to get away, but really, it wasn't so heavy anymore. Thomas was still being the fix it guy for him and all it took was a conversation he never wanted to have.

The first thing Flotsam did was start to write a list of things he wanted to do before leaving Ireland. Order mattered not. He found the basics, as far as basics go for him. He isn't the sort to want to tour every damn castle in Ireland or anywhere else in Europe. But, Blarney Castle he'd go for.

"Babe. So fair warning. I'm taking the kids to carry out their first felony. We will accomplish a family heist at the Blarney Castle and steal plants from the Poison Garden. Goals. I have them."

Go to Blarney Castle

Kiss the Blarney stone

Steal plants from the Poison Garden

The Northern Lights

See The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Grand Opera House in Belfast ((because it has to be fate that's playing while they're there))

The National Leprechaun Museum

Titanic Museum

Goals indeed. "Northern lights. Pretty sure there's somewhere in Ireland you can see them. I so wished you were there when I got to go to Alaska. I wished it the whole time we were staring at the sky. Not that I told anyone this back then because I was still in young crush me who refuses to tell anyone I like you in that wayish. But, we can see them in Ireland too. Even better. Your green world. Meant to be. Has to happen."

He was googling things on their way there, in parking lots, in lines, sitting around waiting for flights, all those boring moments he took his moment to play tourist. He spoke as they were on their way to the rental.

"Rocky Horror is playing at the Grand Opera House. Feels like an authentic Irish experience to me." He laughed having a hard time picturing Rocky Horror being done with Irish accents and couldn't help not smiling. "Leprechaun museum for cheesy pictures with the kids and Titanic Museum for morbid pictures of us having fun taking end of ship movie photos at what's essentially a memorial of dead people's things drudged up from bottom of the ocean, Captain. Gotta love capitalism." He said with his own cheesy grin.

He grinned over at him when he called him Captain remembering their date on the boat. He really liked that. "We should buy a boat. Also this is the last trip without Pippin. I'm getting her a damn plane for real. The one I would have ended up getting Chip. I halted on that because of his zombie-thing worried that maybe he shouldn't be flying around after all wings or not. But, Pip's still clear headed. If anything they can fly together and she can take over if he zombies out."

They were building an air strip out in Nola. It's all Feral now. They were probably never going back any how. Time to consider where to keep a private plane elsewhere.

When they finally pulled into the rental and Flotsam got to see where his escape was going to be he smiled. It felt like something Thomas would pick.

"Look at you giving us the real deal experience, Cap. This is so great. Perfect for all of us." He kept picturing him with the sea behind him. Something kept making his mind go back to that date. He remembered how Thomas looked with the blue waves of adventure behind him. But, he really did like the privacy there. With the triplets he liked their own space. He'd accept the maid service for the time being. Flo's one of those people who would rather do something himself than have people near him sometimes. So, it would be no wonder if he ever called them off or put a do not disturb on the property as a whole because fuck people. No maid outfit required for Thomas. It would probably weird Flo out if he did.

"Oh, you know what else I want to do at some point? Go to the rebel poet's pub. James Clarence Mangan. I don't know the name of it. But, I know it's in Ireland. I'll find it if I look it up. But, I heard he haunts a pub in Ireland. I'm going to find out if it's true." Leave it to Flotsam to want to go get autographs of dead celebrities, not live ones. "Maybe Leap Castle, but only because I know it's like one of the hauntedier ones and I would love to see the murder hole, but really. I don't need to see every castle in Ireland, ya feel me?"

Then right as he said ya feel me as he walking through the quaint style cottage of neutral colors he spotted the prize winner of the property. The ocean.

"Oh!"

It was ocean front property. Flotsam started to glow. He didn't need River's inner physical glow to see this beaming straight from the inside out. He stopped yick yacking and his whole face lit up.

"Oh my fucking a-hole. Look at that. Look what you did. We are sitting next to the ocean. Like... on purpose. We can just walk outside and it's... it's right there." He pointed out at it over top of the stroller he'd been pushing. "Right there." He jumped enough to where both feet came off the floor and knees rose waist high. His feet in those heavy kicks stamped back down. "Right there, Thomas. It's right there. Real ocean."

They didn't have to get into a car and drive there first, get the car and go home after, consider the light of day, or night, length of travel back for drying off, cleaning up, anything that beach brings on. It wasn't a lake shore. It wasn't a river's shore like on the old Mississippi. It wasn't a swamp. It was a real life ocean shore.

“I hate this,” He said to Flotsam, wearily. “I really fucking hate this. I texted River and Fig, maybe one of them will know a place but - this isn’t like her. I’m getting genuinely worried that she can’t handle this.”

They found their parents' Airbnb. They got inside due to their own lovely magical power skillsets while the pair and the triplets were out enjoying their vacation.

It had to happen. These kids were not going to miss Flotsam's un-maybe-birthday. It just wasn't going to happen. Flotsam may have had a tendency to like to keep it small because he felt weird he was never sure of the exact date and used the eighth estimately, but his kids knew him better than that. He liked to acknowledged. He liked knowing somebody cared he was born at all. It was nice to know someone on this earth was happy he was alive especially when he lived through a time he had so many haters.

So, the pair would wait with a computer up to have Chip and his family there from afar. They'd have presents on the table with cake. The candles would be ready to light the moment they saw the car pull up from whatever Thomas had planned for that day of their Irish vacay.

When the group would walk in and Scout would have a feeling Thomas could sniff them out beforehand, but Flotsam wouldn't be able to, so it'd be a real surprise for him at least, there'd be a banner behind them. It would say, "Happy Birthday. Congratulations! You won ONE night of babysitting on your Irish vacation!"

Flotsam would look at the cake. He'd read the banner. He'd see his other kids. He'd see the digital fam on screen. He'd look over at a clock. It was nearing dinner. He'd look at Thomas.

"Unholy fuck. Real nice seeing ya'll and everything, but we're getting out of here. Fuck you all. We're out of here so hardcore. Let's go, love."

Dale and Scout started laughing as Flo started to do a happy dance, some sort of shuffle. Dale would ask, "Aren't you even going to open these boxes?"

Flotsam kept doing a hip shuffle in victory as he went to get ready and jived in a sing song voice, "Nope. It's mah birthday and I'm outtie and I'm outtie and I'm outtie. Have some diapers. T-a-ake them a-all. All you want please."

Scout just shook her head. That was so her daddy and she missed him. She went up for a hug, "You're not getting away without one first mister." She glared hard at Thomas over Flo's shoulder.

"So, here's an interesting one." Flotsam said looking down at his phone after getting ready for the day on the edge of the bed.

"Looks like Pip's fam has come to Kiwiland to hunker down with them now that the job's scaled back since Feral took over Nola. Guess we're going to have more family for Christmas this year."

It wasn't a bad thing in Flo's eyes after all their losses. He was glad any of those girls had anyone left at all and not everyone was actually inside Nola's borders when it all went down even if he might have been a little jealous more of his own family hadn't been traveling or all lived in one damn spot. Time to be thankful for whoever was left.

"So anyway, I guess he'll be there by the time we get back from Ireland. He's actually been on my payroll before. One of my rats. Small world.

Go to Blarney Castle

Kiss the Blarney stone

Steal plants from the Poison Garden

Add in WENT TO THE JEDI TEMPLES please and thank you very much and you're welcome.

Thomas Laveau was a God damned genius for that one. All hail the stone boobie gods slash beehive fortresses.

It was on to a new day though. It was babysitting day. That's what Flotsam was referring to it as even though they were getting grown adult visitors because of the way Caim spoke of them as his children. It was the chimera boy the Hellbird had a real protective demeanor about. He had a boring name, Adam. But, the demon was often religiously symbolic like that. Valerie recalled meeting the kid shortly at Caim's dinner, but it wasn't like they got to know him. Valerie also recalled him being rather quiet and moving like he was in pain and having a cover on his nose.

"If he has the other guy to watch him I wonder why Caim wants us to watch him too?"

The other guy. That was Silvain, the one that actually wanted to come see the Titanic display. Much like Bastien, much like Eeyore, Silvain had a hobby of similar mindsets. Silvain was a self professed tragedy collector. He would tell almost anyone he met he collected tragedies if they asked him what his hobbies were. The Titanic was one of his favorites. So of course when Caim mentioned his dear friends the Laveaus going Silvain suddenly needed to go too. This caused a whole ruckus in which Caim found himself simply calling Flotsam right up about it. Watch my people. I got shit to do. Where Flo found himself saying okay then. Cool. Sure thing.

Silvain and Adam are best buds and have been for years. Caim doesn't trust them alone or as far as a ten foot pole. This is why he loves them. Their chaos is grand, but with both their lives so fragile Caim doesn't want their souls getting into another demon's hands when they croak, not for a second. So this overprotectiveness has to do with their soul contracts, and one lack thereof. Flotsam doesn't understand any of this, but what he does know is they feel they owe that demon a big debt for helping them with the gender change and having kids, so a little babysitting for a day for the guy's chimera kid and his pale friend with the red eyes while they're at a museum doesn't seem like such a big favor to him. What's a little extra company?

The two were conversing outside the museum waiting for Laveaus as instructed when Flotsam caught the sight of them. They were both so different. If they hadn't come from Nola their appearance might have given them a double take.

While Adam was working the kink out of his shoulder Silvain approached. He handed Flotsam a letter with Caim's seal in wax.

Flotsam glanced over at Thomas and decided they should open it before going further in case it was instructions for the day. He broke the seal and leaned so Thomas could read it at the same time as him.

"Dear Laveaus,

Thank you for taking care of my family today. I'm counting on you to see their bodies get back to me. If for any reason they should perish in your presence pray instantly to alert me. Do not hesitate. Hesitation is bad.

Silvain knows Adam's medication schedule. If for any reason something happens to his pack with his supplies due to damage or human or supernatural interreference, pray. This is the fastest way to alert me of any emergency.

If for any reason Silvain perishes without Adam I've attached his medication schedule in case you have to continue without him.

Thank you again, President Caim

PS. If Adam does bite anyone there's antivenom to use in the med pack if you think they deserve it. I leave that solely up to your discretion."

Flotsam's lip drew down and had a hard time not laughing, but he held it in. "Fun." His eyes shifted over to Thomas passed his kids again. "So, who's up for Celine Dion cheesiness all over true remnants of historical tragedy?"

Two of the newbie hands went flying up like me, me, me. Then little baby hands were waving around. Maybe it was a coincidence and weren't really doing it for that, but Flotsam decided they were.

“I’m home.” 

He’d look so tired. He expelled a lot of energy using so much power. He hadn’t used to much voltage in a long time. It was physically draining, but the whole ordeal was emotional draining too. Worst case scenario to Flotsam was the idea of his parents being lab rats because being a dumpster baby and all, he just couldn’t get the puzzle pieces to fit. Finding his birth mother in all this didn’t feel like part of the puzzle at all. This was the most confusing eye opening day he’d ever had. He was in shock and if it wasn’t for the memory of the worry on Thomas’s face he’d be in complete denial and disbelief. 

Scout would beat Thomas to him, but Flo’s heavy eyes would be on his husband from second one. The way Flo would cringe would be unmistakable too. Yeah, Flo started it, but he didn’t walk away unscathed. He got his fair share of wounds from picking a fight with Thaddeus on this one. He might not have had black eyes or a broken nose, but the damage was there. His jaw was swelling. His lip was busted. His knuckles were cut and his hands were black from the surges of so much power. Blood was rolling down his arms from where they were fighting back and forth over that knife when Flo tried to filet the fucker. A few accidental splices got turned on him just from Thaddeus trying to push him away and disarm him. Even the heel of his boot was broken off from stomping on the guy. Flotsam couldn’t believe how strong this guy’s bones were. Talk about a thick skull. It really wasn’t natural. He knew Scout had seen it all too. Family always knew everything. 

He’d kiss her cheek then whisper to let him have some space to clean up and wind down. She’d back up and hug Thomas too before going off to mind her own. “I’m glad you’re home Daddy.” 

“Me too.” He’d say still looking at Thomas. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He wasn’t sure what he even wanted to say. All he could think was poor Thomas. He knew all that, maybe even more all this time, and was holding in for him. He wasn’t sure how to take that. 

It hurt. 

orleans-jester

“Runs in his veins,” Thomas said proudly. Maybe some other parents wouldn’t be thrilled aboutt their child having the swamp life in tthem, like itt was part of their evolution. But he was. He’d gotten tastes of it, back when Flotsam had taken him to the encampment and showed off his childhood, and his nature-loving soul adored it. It wasn’t all about open meadows and pretty forests and picturesque mountains. He liked ALL nature, the ugly, tthe dirty, the dangerous. The white rapids and the flaring volcanos. So he fell in love with the swamps too. He was getting more in the mood when he put on the march, and when Flotsam was growing more excited, clearly. He was stoked - though admittedly, it was more for watching Flotsam be in his element like this. He knew he was going to have a good time. This wasn’t a trudge along behind and only smile for the camera type of trip, he was going to go as full in as he could. They rarely had to threaten in their new home of New Zealand, except for with Thaddeus of course, but Thomas would have been threatening him anyway, just to keep him on his toes. They were really well liked there. There were respected there. When they walked into a business, there weren’t looks of exasperation or fear or ‘oh no, here we go again’ from the staff. They were greeted with smiles, with light conversation, with excitement because even though tipping wasn’t customary in NZ, Thomas did it anyway. This was more the way that Thomas was used to being treated, since he hadn’t had that reputation that the Laveaus had until he became one, so he felt like he was in his element. “Fucking right you are,” Thomas said, taking the opportunity to check out Flotsam once more. Floresecent lighting, fireplace lighting, natural sunlight, Thomas didn’t care, just as long as he could look at his husband. He looked good under all the different types of light. He even looked good in the dark, where Thomas groped like a blind man at the well-memorized contours of his body. “Your legs are shapely but I don’t know if they can handle the stairs the way they used to,” He said, playfully. He’d be impressed if they did. They were getting to used to their level house without any stairways. He was holding his own though, as they climbed up the steps, with the triplets in their arms, in their little carrying case on Thomas’s front and back, getting views from all sides. Really, it was like watching everything in every direction when Thomas focused on the open windows. He was fine with slowing down too, not saying anything, and taking Flotsam’s pace rather than hurrying up ahead. Even his legs were starting to burn. It was going to be a lot easier coming down than it was going up. He was there, focused in on Flotsam’s heartbeat, making sure it was still going strong, ready to take over and carry him if it came down to it.

He took that break too, holding onto the rock and looking about, wind lightly blowing on his face, through the gingery beard. He took a water out of his pack - thinking ahead given the exercise - and offered it to Flotsam. The monstaries were cool for a quick look. For a little bi of a thought experiment. Like imagine being secluded out here, it might as well be a deserted island if it wasn’t for the boats going back and forth. What would he bring to a desert island? Flotsam, maybe some good knives, though Flo was more than likely to have that covered himself. Maybe a couple of brews, why not make a date out of it. Now that was an idea. None of the annoyances of other people. Except the monks had the other monks and if Matthew Gregory Lewis was right - monks were assholes. “Lots of water, I imagine,” Thomas said. It wasn’t as if there were any shops or giant coins or other such attractions to keep an eye out for. “Maybe some puffins, over on Little Skallig.” He was fine with it though. He didn’t need anything big and grand to look at, not when nature was already all around them. “Dunno if we can from here, love, since we’re way on the south western side, but we can travel north, go there, stay a while. It’s not as if we’re in THAT big of a rush to get back home?”

Course he missed Scout. Chip and Dale. His grandkids. But this felt a little more important at the moment. He had missed outt on the Alaska trip since he hadn’t been talking to Flotsam at that time yet, it was shortly after that they came back into one another’s lives. But he heard all about it, saw the pictures and the videos, and felt an insane amount of envy. Being cuddled up with Flo, watching those lights? Yes please. So he was fully on board with driving seven hours up there to hopefully catch the lightshow.

Flotsam loved Thomas liked the swamps. Sometimes Valerie got so caught up in the fact they'd felt they had to leave and had left it she forgot she was allowed to love it as much as they did. Little moments like this fed their soul and continued to remind them they were also allowed to love who they were.

"Oh, I know you didn't just dis my gazelle legs." He laughed.

Jokes aside and unknown to Flotsam Thomas was ever focused on his heart during the climb as was probably more the real risk for Flotsam's health physically than his legs if there was one. Thomas would be able to notice though Flo was pretty good at not pushing himself. He'd pace himself when the time was right. He would hear strain, but Flo would always manage to slow himself down before he'd get into any danger zones. It'd be the sort of thing a normal human would never notice, not even Flotsam, not consciously doing it, but Thomas's ears able to hear it. Flo just knew when he felt like he needed to slow down. So he did. He'd never know anything was borderline detrimental if he'd have pushed. But, he never did. He was happy. He wasn't stressed.

Thomas kept him smiling. "Lots of water. Okay, Mr. Obvious."

He kept chuckling along when Thomas didn't seem to know about the northern lights.

"Yeah, no. I'm in no hurry I suppose. We could or I could just look it up first." Then he pulled his phone and realized there was limited to no cell service. His bars were flickering so he spoke in Star Wars mode. "Oh right. I forgot. My communicator is out of range here."

"Ah well, guess we just stay till night and find out, or simply ask someone." He sneered his nose a little as he said. He wasn't the sort of guy that refused to ask someone for directions if need be kind of old stereotype, but he didn't like to bring people into his fantasy world once he spaced himself away from the other boat riders enough to feel like he was having a private time with Thomas. He had damsel in distress face for about two seconds as he considered these options in his head. No. He hated the invasive feeling of "other people" in his life so much he finally said, "Guess we're staying all day then." Then he smiled, took a deep breath, and got his gangly legs moving again, not a care in the world, space un-invaded, happy as a rogue-jedi-clam.

When they did reach the monasteries Flo had to chuckle at their formations. He couldn't help himself because movies be damned he didn't prepare himself and each turn of the steps was surprise.

"I need all the pictures here. Chip and his fam is going to be so jealous we got to hang in the punk rock beehives and he didn't and I want all the proof for bragging rights. That is one pilot that didn't get to come to the stone temple." He smacked his knee at his own joke. "See what I did there. For real though. They look like beehives."

He took one of the pups as his mind started to gear up and held her high like he was standing on Pride Rock as he jumped on a small stone formation between two big stone beehives with the grand view of the water behind him.

Then he yelled out in sing song Lion King voice at first, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Zabenya I'm standing between the two biggest punkest boobs. I thank thee boobie Gods for the harvest of my trappings. After Valerie got her bust she got the three best kiddos and a Mr. Laveau of the most sexy proportions. I will be grateful and thankful and totally 'rrrrrock' my boobs with pride in the Great Boobie God's honor that they have bestowed upon me such a hot rack."

Then he bent down to one knee, put the child on it, took a sec to balance, and pulled his white light saber, gave it a twirl to telescope it out, and posed like it was a movie moment of reverence and awe.

Picture perfect. His saber was made of a conductor too, so that he could jolt a little of his electric sparklers in the handle and it would light up and crackle something fierce in comparison to some of the toys people could purchase. It was a creation Scout and Dale helped with of course. So, the moment would catch a couple travelers' eyes from afar especially from being loud and yelling out words like boobie gods. So, even though people weren't closely nearby, a few were still watching from their own hilltops what the fucking and/or with big eyes.

Then after making sure Thomas got some pictures he turned around and said to the rock hives gods, "Oh, and by the way, I love what you did with Dolly Parton, but thanks for keeping mine a little more modest."

It was probably best people weren't too-too close because they would be thinking Flo was out of his mind. He probably was either way but carrying on hollering about having boobies while he was clearly a flat chested man would probably seem a little odd to people.

Then it started to come together quickly.  He looked through his own clothes and found his own favorite kicks (as pictured with leggings). Those leggings and boots were put over top of that green velvet number Val loved so much. That was important to match if it showed through the cami top that was already in Val’s arsenals. He wrapped one of his own leather projects around his waist like one of his low hanging bullet belts only this was a leather rose with very visible thorns. Then with a little help from his projects for Sherwood he found his version of a princess bride, a cloak like train. He wouldn’t get corny and put on elf ears for his wedding. But, New Zealand was starting now. He’d get his best voluminous rehab hair and do up his make-up with the most superb wings he’d ever drawn. He spun around in the mirror. Yeah, it had his personal hippy shape with Val’s flair. Just like he didn’t want to be Amy Winehouse he didn’t want to be Arwen either. But, he definitely was having fun with playing up the New Zealand and green. Green was Thomas’s favorite color, worked well for elves, but also Valerie’s favorite repping the eels. Something was missing. Ah, a dagger on her leg. She’d strap one on. 

Thomas expressed some concern about seeing him before the wedding, so since Zeke and Brigitte were the only ones allowed to know since they did not live in their household, he figured they could keep the lips zipped, and would be the ones to bring Flotsam to the venue. They would have Zeke escort Thomas and Brigitte escort Flotsam so they wouldn’t see each other till the moment they each stood on opposite ends of the sea tunnel.