I think the "secret" to flirtation just like, suddenly clicked for me while scrolling my dash, unrelated to anything I saw.
It's confidence. Not necessarily full, stable "self-confidence", but specifically confidence in what you want from others, and confidence in the belief that others could want things from you.
To be able to flirt with someone else, you need to be able to know what you want and how you feel without second guessing yourself. You need to know with certainty that you like someone or something about them to be able to say something with the intent of flirtation, to intentionally try for a reaction or test the waters.
To be able to recognize you're probably being flirted with, you need to genuinely believe that someone else would like something about you enough to load a statement with that intent. You need to be secure enough in yourself to not immediately dismiss the possibility that someone could be flirting with you before you even think about what they actually said.
That's it. That's all there is to it. It just took me getting to a place where I am genuinely confident in my own skin and in who I am as a person to be able to understand that. It sounds obvious, but lack of confidence can really just make anything that requires it feel overly complicated.
