12 for the surprise dabble!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, a kind of sad one!!!!! dang!!!
âOh, Niallâs coming, by the way.â
Harry freezes, his fingers stilling in the murky sink water as he searches for the last dirty spoon.
âIs he?â he asks softly. His voice is tense and it hardly comes out at all, but Gemma, standing just beside him, still hears.
âYeah. He said his flight got cancelled âcause of the snow so he couldnât make it home. I told him he was more than welcome to come see us; heâs gonna be here around six.â
Harry takes even breaths, trying way too hard to seem casual as he finally grabs the spoon and scrubs it slowly.
âWhy were you even talking to him?â
âI just mean, like, how did it come up? Like, did he just call you out of nowhere, orâŚ?â
âI was friends with him, too, Harry,â Gemma says. She tries to make Harry look at her when she takes he spoon from him, pausing so that theyâre both holding on at the same time, but he refuses to meet her gaze.
âI know,â he mumbles, pulling the plug out of the drain. He watches the water spiral away and just hears Gemma over the gurgle as she walks away to put the spoon in the drawer.
âHe was asking after you. He does sometimes.â
âMe?â Harry asks, moving full speed again as he turns around to pursue Gemma out of the kitchen. âWhy didnât he just ask me?â
âYou donât answer his messages.â
âI donât get his messages.
âHe still sends them,â she says, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to turn and look Harry in the eye now that he was finally interested. âItâs not his fault if you donât check them.â
Harry shrugged one shoulder awkwardly. âHeâs set as priority, I dunno why I wouldnât get messages from him.â
âWell youâve got plenty of time to figure it out in your email settings before he gets here.â
Harry feels guilty when Gemma walks away âcause he knows he gets all of Niallâs messagesâ the notifications for them, at least, but he always swipes them away so they donât clog up his screen and then he never remembers to check them. He used to get lots of them, but theyâre not so common anymore.
Harry sits in the living room and searches his apps for messages from Niall until his mum gets home from work. Thereâs a few posts in his Instagram inbox, some DMs on Twitter, a couple hundred notifications for the One Direction Whatsapp group, and Harryâs personal email has an entire folder of messages from Niall, most of them already opened from past holidays and events, but any sent this summer and on all sit unopened.
Anneâs home right at 3:30 like usual, and Harry greets her at the door with a hug like he did when he was in primary school; Anne doesnât ask questions, of course she doesnât. Sheâs just happy her son is finally home for a holiday.
âNiallâs coming over later,â he tells her, and she already knows.
âHe told me this morning. I told him heâs always welcome round our house; heâs like a second son to me.â
She goes into the kitchen to check on the roast she told her kids to start that afternoon, and Harry follows at her heels.
âYou talk to Niall behind my back, too?â
âBehind your back, love?â she asks in such a tone that Harry doesnât even have to look at her to know that her eyebrows are raised. âI didnât know I was doing anything behind your back. You and Niall are friends, arenât you?â
Harry steps back, shuffles over to the fridge to see what alcohol is available for him to drink himself through tonight, and doesnât answer his mumâs question.
âWhat?â he asks, turning around.
âWhy wouldnât you be friends with Niall anymore? You were mad about him when you were in a band together.â
âMum, I wasnât mad about himââ
âOh, you know what I mean.â
But thatâs the thing, though. Harry was mad about Niall, wasnât he? And whoâs to say it wonât all come rushing back the second Niall pulls him in for a tight hug and he smells so good and feels so warm that Harry doesnât wanna let go.
The words bubble up in his chest, like Harry wants to come clean and tell his mum right then and there that he actually was mad for Niall, like in love with Niall, especially toward the end, but he canât make himself do it âcause one she knowsâ or at least when her suspicions are confirmedâ there will be no way anyone can hide it from Niall when heâs right in front of them.
Instead Harry goes upstairs to take a shower, and by the time heâs out after belting several lovesongs later, itâs already nearly five.
Harry sits around in his room, one towel around his waist and one around his head, for another twenty minutes deciding what to wear, before he finally just pulls on fitted black sweatpants and a nice looking sweater over one of his branded t-shirts. He canât put too much work into his outfit just because Niall is coming over, but he still wants to look nice so Niall might look at him and think heâs grown up well since the last time they really got to sit down together for more than a passing hello at festivals and concerts.
âHaribo, come help us finish dinner,â Gemma says from the other side of his bedroom door, and even after Harry crosses the room to leave, sheâs still standing there.
âAhh, casual but put together, I see. Thatâs a nice approach; Iâm sure heâll like it.â
âWhat? Iâm not doing anything for him, I donât know what youâre talking about.â
âMhm,â she smirks, âIâm sure. Câmon then, youâve gotta finish the bread.â
Harry does finish the bread, which really only involved putting it in the oven to let it bake for the last half hour before Niall comes over. Harry spends the whole time pretending like his heart isnât pounding in his chest, but it absolutely does. He sings Christmas songs with his family and dances around and loses himself for a little while until the doorbell rings and then his mouth dries up so fast he nearly chokes.
âWhy donât you go answer it, Harry?â Anne suggests, and Harry agrees and runs to the doorâ in a nonchalant way, of course. Totally. Completely like the nonchalant way he throws himself at Niall and hugs him tight as soon as he sees him.
âHazza!â Niall says, hugging him back tightly. âItâs so good to see you, man! What have you been up to?â
âSitting around writing songs, you know. Nothing much.â
âNothing much?â Niall asks, pushing Harry back to an armâs length. âNothing like co-chairing the Met Gala or being a Gucci model or being a producer of a TV show or anything. Nothing much,â he laughs, and Harry laughs too because everything feels easy with Niall.
âCome in,â Harry says, wrapping his arm around Niallâs shoulders, âMum and Gemma are excited to see you.â
âWhat, youâre not excited to see me?â Niall jokes, closing the door behind him and kicking off his boots by the door.
âI am,â Harry chuckles, âvery much so.â
âGood.â Niall wraps his arm around Harryâs back and they walk together to the kitchen.
âSomething smells fantastic in here, ladies,â Niall says, leaving Harryâs side to hug Anne and Gemma, mumbling nice hellos against their cheeks. Harry feels lonely as soon as Niall isnât beside him and knows immediately that he is so fucked.
Even so, Harry only does a few embarrassing things that night, like force his way to sit beside Niall even if someone was already there, over excitedly insist that he was on Niallâs team when they played Scrabble, and maybe or maybe not get a bit too wine drunk and suggest that Niall stay the night in Harryâs room since Harry hung mistletoe over his bed âif you know what I mean.â
Luckily Anne wasnât in the room for that last one, and Niall just laughed and laughed without saying much.
âI oughta be getting home,â Niall says far too soon, peeling a very cuddly Harry off of him. âItâs getting a bit late andâ you know.â
âBut you could just go in the morning,â Harry says, grabbing Niallâs hand.
âWhy donât you walk me out to my car, H?â Niall suggests, wiggling his hand free.
âBut I donât have shoes on.â
âWell,â Niall drawls, âwhy donât you put shoes on while I go tell your mum and your sister goodbye?â
âGood idea,â he nods.
Harryâs still struggling to get his arm in his coat when Niall meets him by the door. Niall helps him with only a tiny chuckle and even zips the coat all the way up to his throat for him.
âIt was good to see you, Harry,â Niall says as they head out the door.
âYou too,â Harry nods. âReally nice seeing you.â
âIâm still in town for a few more days if you wanna meet up again. I keep trying to talk to you, but I guess youâre not getting my messages.â
âIâm bad at replying âcause I donât know what to say,â Harry actually says out loud despite the fact that he meant to keep it in his head.
âWhy wouldnât you know what to say?â Niall asks as they crunch across the salted driveway to Niallâs car.
âWhy are you nervous?â Niall laughs. âItâs just me, Harry. Youâve said dumb shit to me for years.â
âI know but, like⌠Itâs different.â
âWhy is it different?â
ââCause I donât know what to say around you anymore.â
âH, Iâm still meââ
âI know. Thatâs why itâs hard, âcause youâre you and I like you.â
âWhat, so you wanna impress me or something? You do that every day, H. Youâre like the best person I know; youâre making everyone else look bad.â Niall laughs and leans on his car even though itâs so cold that they can see their breath in clouds between them. Harry just digs his hands into his pockets and shrugs.
Itâs probably not the right time to tell Niall how he feels about him, Harry thinks. âProbably never will be.â
âNever will be what?â
âThe time to tell you howâ oh, Iâ umâŚâ Harry stutters, completely blanking on what to say. Niall watches him expectantly, but when Harry doesnât say anything else, he stands up with a small sigh.
âItâs really cold. I should be going.â
âYeah⌠I should go back inside.â
âGive us another hug, then,â Niall says, pulling Harry in by his shoulders.
âI miss you,â Harry sighs.
âI miss you, too, H. Call me sometime.â
âI will,â Harry promises, and he hopes itâs a promise he wonât break.
âLove you, too, buddy,â Niall says.
Harry doesnât have it in him to say more.