My Struggle with Self-Identity
“Do you ever stares and watch what other people are doing.”
When i watch others, I imagined them to be confident and happy and i wonder; why can’t be the same way?”
but then i realise, that’s probably how others see me. They see me walking down the street and i probably look completely find. I definitely don’t feel completely fine. But i guess there’s no way to tell that i’m naturally having my social anxiety.
Hearing people laugh near you, not talking because you’re afraid that what you say will be judge. Keeping quite in a conversation with the people. Not being able to go anywhere alone staying inside and all day. Hating when the teacher asks you a questions in class, dislike talking in front of everyone hate phone calls. Counting money before you pay, paying for things at a shop asking for help, Always preparing what to say, bumping Into people you know. Feeling embarrassed all the time.
If you look at my life, you definitely won’t think that sometimes i had a panic attacks, I’m doing well professionally. I’m active in theatre club even though i dislike performing in front of everyone i must do it, i must have the confidence that i will need to help me out my struggle as a film student.
From the outside, I look like i have everything together and that. I’m chasing my dreams. But sometimes i feel like the emptiness of life I’m lost. But what ever reasons in your mind, never hide, never underestimate yourself. break the wall and come out.
