"But, Audrey, that's what life is. We're all on a jagged graph. I know I am. Up a bit, down a bit. That's life."
DO NOT ASSUME BASED OFF THE BACK: Linus does NOT fix Audrey's anxiety. In fact, while he's part of the plot, he's not a huge portion of the novel. In fact, startling in a YA novel, Audrey's family and family drama take the spotlight. And before you go, "Ugh, drama," don't worry - this drama is pretty comedic!
Finding Audrey is a light-hearted book in all the right ways. With the help of Audrey's 'Daily Mail'-obsessed Mom and her video game-loving brother (among others), it shows the craziness of family along with the lengths we'll go to for ensuring our loved ones' wellbeing. It talks about mental illness very bluntly (and it's a great advocate for medicine, therapy, and receiving general emotional support), but it never makes it a soul-crushing saga of melancholy. Maybe some people deal with that, but I know that as someone with anxiety, I have days that are good as well as days that are bad. I had to seek the distraction of humour to deal with even my worse days, so don't say that this book isn't dark enough.
In fact, by the time we meet Audrey, she's already going through recovery mode. She's not just experiencing everything - it's now just a routine that she's learning to push past. And does she do that with Linus? Yes. But does she also backpedal? Yes - and I couldn't be more thrilled that it shows this!!! A relapse is just that - a relapse. It's not the end of the world; it's just motivation to keep fighting harder.
It's also a book that, despite great representation/portrayl, it's not that triggering (at least for me). Maybe this is because it's so light-hearted, but that honestly makes it better. It's one you can pass to someone who's curious to understand more but is scared off by all the darker YA novels out there.
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“Depressive Episodes.
EpisodesI. Like depression is a sitcom with a fun punch line each time. Or a TV box set loaded with cliffhangers.” page 23
***
“most people, underestimate eyes. For a start, they’re powerful. They have range. You focus on someone a hundred feet away, through a whole bunch of people, and they know you’re looking at them. What other bit of human anatomy can do that? It’s practically being psychic, is what it is.” page 27
***
“I look at the way he wrote my name. It feels intimate. It feels like he’s taken hold of a piece of me. I try to hear his voice saying the word.” page 56
***
“All of [adults] make these easy, obvious, lazy assumptions that anyone under the age of eighteen is a pathological, dishonest, sub-human with no integrity. But we’re people, just like you, and you don’t seem to get that!” page 67
***
“the lizard brain is the worst. It basically tells your body what to do through chemicals and electrical signals. It doesn’t wait for evidence and it doesn’t think, it just has instincts. Your lizard brain is totally not rational or reasonable: all it wants to do is protect you. Fight, flight, freeze.” page 76
***
“your body needs to catch up with your brain.” page 102
by Sophie Kinsella | ⭑⭑⭑.5 stars | Goodreads | CW: depression, anxiety
Audrey is 14-years-old and deals with severe social anxiety and depressive episodes. She wears dark sunglasses because she can’t make eye contact with anyone, not even her family members, at least she wouldn’t if left the house. She’s out of school because school is where it all started, with friends she isn’t sure she ever wants to reconcile with. That is, until she meets Linus, her brother’s gaming friend who connects with her in a way no one has in months. But is it enough to help her make progress in her mental health journey?
I enjoyed this book so much more than I expected. I read this on a whim from a prompt in my TBR journal and have had it for years, buying it at a thrift store in high school because I vaguely recognized the cover and title (I was desperate to own books). I had zero expectations which probably excelled my enjoyment even more, which is usually why I like going into books blind. Overall, I thought it handled the subject topic very well and appropriately in the light-hearted, comedic way.
I’ve said this in about my last three reviews, because they’ve all been very classic Young Adult, but I love when teenagers are honest in novels. Even if they’re naive, that honesty is so appreciated. I save this specifically for Frank, Audrey’s brother. Although the way he talks too his mom is... a bit terrible at times, it stemmed from a very truthful place.
My main complaint, and this is general and not just specific to this book, is that I don’t like this writing style: the narrator assumes that the reader is having thoughts that they might not be. I’ve raised the question to myself that this could be a good writing choice given Audrey’s anxiety as it does lessen as the novel goes on. It could be very intentional and therefore great, but it’s still not my favorite. To be specific, some of the things she reminds the reader that she is keeping away aren’t particularly on my mind. The reminder makes it prevalent in my mind to be thinking about these things and wondering why they aren’t being resolved or answered. This style of writing also always comes with an overuse of “anyway” “well,” etc. which I despise. Which, I will say, did taper off as well, assuming that Audrey got comfortable with the reader listening to her.
To go off of this, not knowing the specifics of The Big Bad Thing(s) that happened to Audrey at school, I also haven’t landed on a particular side of wanting to know or being okay not knowing. I have a suspicion (having done it in my writing before) that the author couldn’t decide on something “dramatic enough.” My currents thoughts are: anxiety and depression work in different ways so the traumatizing event(s) could’ve been anything. It doesn’t have to work for the reader, it has to work for Audrey, a 14-year-old girl.
Although this book is supposed to be humorous, I wish it would have slowed down in the more impactful places to make it heavier. I’ve found that comedy in a lot of entertainment feels like it can’t have depth and have serious moments but I think it’d serve as a good juxtaposition! Sophie Kinsella handles the mental health topic and journey with care in this novel but I think it would have been a phenomenal book if dug into the therapy and recovering and downfalls just a little bit longer, lasted a few more pages.
One specific compliment I want to give to this book, which is a very high regard in my eyes, is that it would be a really good adaptation. I even looked it up in hopes I wasn’t the only one with this thought process. With the documentary being so important, although only snippets of the novel, would make such a fun and interesting cinematic piece. I also just think it’d be so fun and heartwarming to see Frank act up and Linus and Audrey grow closer.
If you love family dynamics, you should read this book! If you appreciate honest yet naive teenagers, read this book. If you enjoy caring relationships, read this book.
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“Most people underestimate eyes. They're infinite. You look someone straight in the eye and your whole soul can be sucked out in a nanosecond. Other people's eyes are limitless and that's what scares me.”
Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella is a hilarious book with a family that is comical. It is easily one of the best books of 2015. It contains a clever, goal-oriented main character and plenty of humour. This novel is a pleasant change from typical sick-lit YA novels.
