#fin blabs

So yesterday I went and saw Beauty and the Beast again with my dad. And after the prologue when they have the line "For who could ever learn to love a beast?" He leans over to me and says "I know the answer." So I turned back and went "But who?" It was great.

I may not have my life together, but I'll have you know, I was a baja blast to have in class.

Back on my bullshit (reading The Host yet again and having a great time)

Random Ron Perlman story for y'all. When I was in college, I was struggling with extreme depression and one of the ways I coped for a time was my roommate would let me cuddle a little Hellboy plushie she had crocheted since she wasn't very huggy and my emotions could be a lot. Around this time, my sister paid for me to go to a sci fi con nearby where Ron Perlman was going to be one of the guests. I had no money for a photo or an autograph but I waited in line to just tell him what a wonderful performer he was in Pacific Rim and Hellboy. And then I mentioned that I'd been having a rough time lately but that I'd gotten some comfort from a Hellboy plushie and that it helped me feel better. He was so sweet about it and he was really touched and he asked if he could hug me for real and I said yes and it was just really kind. He was sorry I'd had a rough time and was glad that Hellboy helped. It was just very unexpected and something I always remember about him.

This whole being a human in a society was an interesting thought experiment but I think next time I'll opt to be like a weird deep sea fish that doesn't have responsibilities and gets to just like swim and eat and then eventually gets eaten by another weirder fish. Thank you.

So tomorrow is the first anniversary of my beloved cat's death. Like a dick of the highest order, the universe decided to kill my favorite dog today and I can't figure out how to stop crying or any actionable coping mechanism to help me deal with this. Advice and healing vibes and prayers are welcome.