A 2026 Update
Hello, everyone!
All I can say is that Iโm still trying. :โD Itโs been a bit of a rough year for me, which has put writing in the backseat again, as much as I try to make it happen.
The kiddo is getting older (four years in October!) and more independent, which is fantastic. Iโm always answering the question, โWhy?โ Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I want to ram my head into the wall.
The biggest time-suck was my beloved dog. He had many health issues this year, and coupled with his crippling anxiety, I made the tough decision to say goodbye.
Itโs been hard for me. Zinny belonged to the family, but he was my dog, and when that steadfast companion is gone, it feels like youโve lost your shadow.
When I used to come home and open up the door from the garage into the laundry room, I was reliably greeted by a wet nose and this โThunk! Thunk! Thunk!โ as his tail slammed against the washer. Now, the absence of that thunk is loudest thing Iโve ever heard.
While I have no regrets about my decision, I miss him. I will miss him forever. This kind of grief never goes awayโyou just learn how to carry it better.
Iโm learning how to carry it better.
Iโm learning what to do with my time. He was the best boy, but he was a needy boy. I spent many hours beyond just basic dog stuffโthere was training and conditioning, working with the behaviorist, vet, and trainer, many drug trials and food experiments, etc. He may not have understood the why behind the busyness, but I think he felt the profound love I had for him.
With Zinny gone, weโre able to have guests again. He was so anxious about new people, I didnโt invite many friends over. Itโs nice to open up the house to others after so many years of stressing about it. To that end, Iโve been working on some minor house projects, getting things cleaned up, and finally putting effort into making my home look presentable. There are still some items on that list that need my attention.
Iโm going to try to push myself to take some time to write every week. I still have so many ideas, and that desire to finish my projects never wanesโI just have to sit down and do it.
I also recognize that Iโve been slow, and many readers have probably moved on. This obviously poses some questions about whether or not I should continue certain projects. If I donโt have an audience, wouldnโt my time be better off writing other things?
Maybe. I donโt know. That all remains to be seen as I kick my ass back into gear.
All this to say, updates are coming. If youโre reading this, thank you for sticking around while I figure my life out. <3 It means the world to me.
Penguiduck
