#fightthestigma

I Have Cancer

Hi my name is Joanna, I’m 29 years old, and I have breast cancer. I-have-breast cancer. It is such a weird thing to say, to acknowledge, and to actually verbalize. Since finding out my diagnosis, I have been in a bubble. Sure, my close friends and family were made aware of what was going on, but to the rest of the world I am the same old Joanna. This bubble has been nice and safe but I think I have stayed in it long enough. I refuse to give this cancer anymore hold on me by treating it like this dirty little secret. Having breast cancer isn’t something I can hide and it isn’t something I should be ashamed of. It is the new reality I am living. Although sharing with you all is scary, it makes me feel strong and empowered. Do I feel this way all of the time? Absolutely not. But that’s okay. When I do feel this way, I will hold onto the feeling and draw strength from it. 

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, things moved at an exceptional speed. Which is a good thing but it is also a lot to absorb. You’re making choices you never thought you would have to make. For example, removing a lump or an entire breast and preserving your fertility options. So much information is coming at you and it’s hard to compartmentalize. Sometimes it feels so overwhelming that you can't breath. The decisions you have to make aren’t small ones, and you need to make these decisions in a quick fashion. 

A lot of people were shocked with my diagnosis based on my age, and believe me, I was too. Even though my mom has breast cancer and my grandmother died from breast cancer, never did I think it would be something I would need to worry about.But cancer doesn’t discriminate. Young, old, family history, no family history, it really doesn’t matter. 

I found the lump myself one evening. The next day I went in for a breast exam, the following day I had a mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy. Normally, they don’t allow people my age to get mammograms unless there is a lump to be felt or there is a significant family history. I’m fortunate I got paired with a good doctor who advocated for me and that I was able to advocate for myself. There is so much more I could say regarding mammograms and early detection for women under 40, but I will save that for another post. From when I felt the lump to when I got my results, it was 7 days. Those 7 days were definitely the longest 7 days of my life.

On Tuesday, November 24th, 2020 I received the phone call that ultimately confirmed what my mind was already trying to reluctantly prepare for. Although I am a hopeful and spiritual person, I am also a realist. There is really no way to prepare yourself for cancer but I always kept the possibility in the back of my mind while waiting the results. 

I don’t have all of the answers about my breast cancer yet, getting answers is a bit of a process. What I have learned so far is that my cancer is considered higher grade. You’d think, like in school, a higher grade is a good thing. But with cancer, not so much, it basically means more aggressive. Look at me, always the over achiever! 

On November 26th, 2020 I met with a surgeon and was left with the choice of removing the lump or removing my entire right breast. This was a hard decision to make and I had to make it quickly. I ultimately made the choice to do away with my boob, based on knowing my cancer was more aggressive. My mind set is that I will do whatever it takes to live and to survive. I can always get another boob. Although I was confident in my decision, I was scared of losing my boob. At the end of the day, I was losing a part of my body, which isn’t normal. On December 2nd, 2020 my right boob and I parted ways and it got sent away for testing. I’m not going to get into too much detail about my mastectomy and my recovery. I’m going to reserve that for another post. I will say that it was an emotionally and physically draining process. I survived that hurdle and have more hurdles to come. I am proud of myself for making it through that and if you have had a mastectomy..you should be proud of yourself too. 

On December 30th, 2020 I learned a little more about my cancer. Although, my pathology was still pending (finding out my stage and if the cancer spread to my lymph nodes) I did learn that my cancer is HER2 positive. HER2 positive is basically a protein and this protein essentially promotes the growth of cancer cells. HER2 positive breast cancers tend to grow and spread faster than other cancers, which is a terribly terrifying thing to hear. However HER2 positive breast cancers respond really well to treatment. There are drugs that target the HER2 protein and kick its invasive little ass. It makes me feel more internally organized to have a name for my breast cancer. Although I don’t know my full cancer journey quite yet, I do know I will be doing chemotherapy and a year’s worth of injections that will combat that bitchy HER2 protein. There is more I would like to speak to but it is a lot and could be overwhelming to another girl reading this who has been newly diagnosed. Consider this post part one of the cancer journey I am on. 

When I was diagnosed I feverishly went searching online for answers and more information about breast cancer. Doing a deep dive on google is not necessarily a good thing. Sometimes the information you find is worst case scenario stuff. I would recommend writing down your questions and bringing them to your doctors appointments; get your information right from the source. Your mind is going to spiral and wander regardless but speaking to my doctor and getting the RIGHT information helped to ease my mind a lot. 

I also spent hours looking on YouTube and blogging websites for women my age who were going through the same thing. Breast cancer at 29 is different than breast cancer at 55. Breast cancer at any age is difficult and each age group brings a unique set of struggles. One major thing I learned is that there are A LOT of us out there…like a lot. Women under 40 getting breast cancer is increasing and when we get breast cancer there is a trend that it tends to be more aggressive. I discovered a lot of stories and videos, from an American perspective, of women who had double mastectomies with reconstruction. Although this isn’t my current journey, I do commend those women for sharing their stories because I did gain knowledge and understanding from them. However, care in Canada is a bit different because our options and our health care system is different. 

Moving forward I hope that my posts can help the next newly diagnosed girl who is on her computer searching for similar experiences. I hope that professionals in this field who come across my posts gain knowledge from the patient experience side of things. It is my personal goal to advocate for how services can be improved for those of us with this diagnosis. Things can be easier for us and the load can be lessened. I hope that if you are supporting someone with breast cancer, that the posts help in your ability to understand and support. 

If you’re still reading this, thank you for taking the time to listen to me. If you know someone newly diagnosed, please refer them to my page. I will posting information about each stage of my journey, my experiences, helpful hints, coping strategies, and more.