#fighting fear

It starts off as a bad thought that I try

To shake off like cobwebs in my hair, but

It keeps growing at a rapid rate until it

Nearly cover my body, but you couldn’t

See the hold it has over me unless you  

Look straight in my eyes or have the power

Of telepathy yet my actions and decisions

Is heavily influenced by its unnatural pull

On my heart like I’m slowly being dragged

By it with doubt being my leash, but I can’t

Let this grip be my future and I give flurries

Of attacks on this emotional enemy through

Various tactics knowing I have to keep changing

The track, keep dancing to a different beat, keep

Writing, keep talking to my comrades, keep watching

That anime, keep writing, keep reading manga, keep

Moving forward, keep writing, keep finding a new  

Sanctuary to take shelter from it whether it’s a place

To visit, in the pages of a book, on the TV screen, or

A person to confide to, and keep writing because my

Fear can’t keep with the rate my ideas are developing

As I’m expressing myself through this pen, but also  

Because I have this feeling that the bodies of work

I write will aid me like an army of encouragement

Part 9

@twistedcaretaker @cupcakes-and-pain @thehopelessopus @dangertoozmanykids101 @fromtheo-withlove @forthetaintedsorrow-whump @whumping-out-of-time @whumping-to-conclusions @whumpblrful

CW: poison, minor whumpee(s), mind control, fear, captivity

Surrounded by the Shadow’s fae army, Ben could do nothing except wait helplessly at Peter’s side. Countless pairs of merciless gold eyes stared at them, brimming with—brimming with what, exactly? Ben couldn’t tell. Malice? Anger? He knew one thing though: they were prisoners again, and this time, their captors were far from human.

Peter dissolved in another fit of coughing, his chest spasming as he fought for breath. And his skin—his skin had turned grey. He looked sick. Horribly sick.

“Come on, Peter, breathe,” Ben muttered desperately, shoving an arm under the other boy’s back to help him up. Peter heaved a shuddering breath and lay still.

“Poor little thing.”

Ben jumped and whipped around, his heart suddenly pounding harder. A fae creature was standing right behind him, golden eyes slitted and watching. Ben cringed away. The creature’s nearness sent chills down his back, adding to the leaden weight of fear in his gut.

The creature continued, shifting its gaze to Peter’s prostrate body. “It seems poison doesn’t agree with him.”

Ben’s blood froze.

“What—what do you mean, poison? Peter can’t be—he’s not—not dying, is he?”

Well, he is, the Shadow cut in. But it will be a while before he actually reaches the brink of death. I need him alive for now.

Poison. So that was why Peter looked so bad. His forehead was beaded in sweat, his lips colorless, his skin clammy and cold. Ben let him slide gently from his lap and stood up, shaking.

Trying to be brave? said the Shadow. How selfless. I never expected a Lost Boy to act so nobly. But that is precisely why I—

“No!” Ben shouted, interrupting the Shadow’s voice in his head. The ranks of the fae army rippled, moving closer with their weapons drawn. But Ben kept talking. “No, I won’t let you hurt him any further! Make it stop! Make the poison stop!”

Peter shifted on the ground, delirious and shivering. How long did he have, really? Hours? Minutes?

I can heal him, said the Shadow. And in return, you can do something for me. For us.

A crack of thunder punctuated his final words and Ben realized the sky had grown dark. The fae army glimmered with unnatural light in the growing dimness, casting a faint glow around them. Ben felt a strange sense of belonging creep over him, coupled with a malingering dread. He shook it off, suddenly angry.

“Just tell me what it is! I’m not going to let him die!”

Then you will become our champion. The Shadow curled around him, grazing his cheek, brushing the top of his head. You will become our human champion, and Peter will live.

Ben could only watch, stunned and mute, as the earth claimed Peter’s body. Twisted vines sprung out of the ground, encircling the boy’s wrists and ankles, twining around his neck. In seconds, Peter was completely restrained, lashed to the ground itself.

“I…I will…I will become your champion.” The words that wormed their way out of Ben’s mouth didn’t belong to him. It wasn’t his voice. He didn’t want to do it, they weren’t going to take him—

It’s too late, whispered a tiny voice inside him, the last remnant of the real boy that was Ben.

Fear can paralyze you. We all have faced fear. Some  deal with it by lashing out.  Some run away and deflect that fear onto others. This is not what the divine creator wants. He wants you to know that He is there at the center of it all. Worry, anxiety, fear…can overwhelm us with a thick shadow of darkness, controlling our every move and decision. Here are five scriptures that will help you cope…

A policy proposal like this has a public comment period, where the policy is made public and people can submit comments, which means you have an opportunity to tell the government exactly what you think about this terrible idea. University of Michigan Policy Professor Don Moynihan has helpfully written a run-down on how to do this and why you should."

Take the time you would have spent complaining about politics online, and use it to write a comment opposing the proposed Office of Personnel Management rule to politicize public services. You can do it in 5 minutes. Deadline is May 23rd!

Spirit Saturday: Inspiring Scriptures To Fight Fear

Fear can paralyze you. We all have faced fear. Some  deal with it by lashing out.  Some run away and deflect that fear onto others. This is not what the divine creator wants. He wants you to know that He is there at the center of it all. Worry, anxiety, fear…can overwhelm us with a thick shadow of darkness, controlling our every move and decision. Here are five scriptures that will help you cope…

Mental Health & Update in General

How’s it going y’all? So we’re in a new year now and look at the craziness…. New Year’s Eve last year I had something happen. Actually a few things happened and it’s taken until now for me to write about it and my thoughts. I struggle with mental illness; however over the last year or so I came to the understanding through reading books on the subject that a diagnosis I’ve carried for years was…