#fibia

So it has been a week since the fateful event and Jem seems non the wiser.  I haven't told you what I actually broke, my tibia and fibula or 'tib n fib' as they called it in hospital, which to me sounds like some bad drag duo from Blackpool. 

The pain is still horrendous, the worst times are in the morning and at night.  What I've discovered is that my body involuntarily flinches just before I fall into a deep sleep, this of course wakes me up because of the incredible pain it causes.  The other night it took me three attempts to go to sleep because of 'the dreaded flinches' (I finally fell alsleep at 3am), it's like a gay version of Freddy Kruger.  I'm now actually afraid to go to sleep because of it. The morning pains are just as bad as my torso moves in the night and then when I stand up, all the blood rushes to my leg which causes unbelievable pain, imagine Cheryl Cole being invited into your living room to sing live - yes it's that painful.

The other night my neighbour (Jo) came round with a bottle of wine to cheer me up, I had one glass and was off my face.  Now in regards to recreational raves, I have tried a bit of everything back in the day but even I wasn't prepared for the mix of Codeine and alcohol. Mum and Jo had this bizarre haze/aura around them, the room seemed to get bigger, my hands and fingers seemed to grow, my head felt as though it wasn't part of my body - I really tripped out. Saying that though it acted as a really good sedative in order for me to not worry about the Freddy flinches, I drifted off quite happily without any pain - double dropping some Codeine with a Chardonnay might have to become nightly routine.

Toilet trips have become a chore, having a poo is akin to performing some Cirque De Soleil act - grabbing walls, gripping onto the toilet contraption I have been given, shuffling my bottom over the bowl, holding my cast in the air with both hands whilst I balance, rather ludicrous and quite the Benny Hill sketch.    

I'm becoming quite depressed at the fact I can't do anything and that whenever I move I have such pain - a pain that you can feel in your bones and can't do anythnig about. It tends to get to around 5pm and I then get panicky and frustrated, I worry that I'll have club foot, one leg shorter than the other, or the bone won't heal properly.  Or I get claustrophobic cabin fever because I've been in the same position and room all day. When I start to panic I try to put comedy acts on YouTube to avert my thoughts, there seem to be a lot of videos with the very popular Peter Kay, although he's not very popular with me but I suppose people who shop in Pounland find him amusing.  I've spent so much time in the same chair that I'm sure I heard it say it wants to start seeing other people.