#ff7 x reader

So when he fucks you he mostly likes to watch your cute expression when you are about to cum, when he holds your hips just to feed you with his thick inches over and over, to have these pretty orbs rolling back. Making himself groan, and his cock throb.

"Look at me, baby." you cooed in his ear, when you felt the blond nuzzled your neck, hard planes of muscles looming over you, two large, rough hands spreading your thighs open.

"N-no...you're just going to tease me." Cloud said firm, with a ragged breath while he bullies his cock right between your puffy folds.

So wet and warm, and so fucking velvety.

"Please, just one look, give me one look, pretty boy." you urged so sweetly, he was sure when he would not see your face he could get off on your voice alone.

Calling the 1 rank SOLDIER 'pretty boy', as if it would not make his dick any harder, making his balls draw up tight.

"No funny business, yeah?" Cloud repeated before finally getting up, still holding your thighs apart as you squirmed under him. With a smirk, wiggling your pussy down his shaft a little more, clenching around his base. Your pussy was always killing him.

"See, it's not that hard." you replied, and then he just gave you one mean thrust, mako blue eyes locking with yours, his gaze over all had roamed from your pretty pussy, stuffed full of him up your torso, your perfect tits, to your kiss bitten neck and then your gorgeous face. Your expression a little too cocky, but with that mean thrust there you had these big eyes again, jaw fell open, your expression just so full in need of him.

And hell, he was gone, he was so gone, groaning from only the fact how your eyes rolled back, the way he continued to pound into you.

One hand came up to tenderly cup your cheek, making your head that fell back in pure bliss, so he could just admire your pretty face.

"You are so....fuck, so pretty. Taking me so well." he praised you, he was just so in love with you and your expressions, making him nearly spill his load into you...

Reno ~ Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Reno is nasty, like when he could, he would have an eye on every part of you. Fucking you raw and that stamina, girl, you need to run away when you can't take it anymore.

Not that he would let you.

After all you are his 'sweet thing' adoring you in every position he folded you into.

Even when he is more of a tits guy, but when he could, damn he fucks you in front of the mirror.

Reno got confidence in buckets, he knows he is hot, he knows you think he is hot.

And for some reason he enjoys to not only make you watch yourself, how good you were taking his dick. But also how he fucked you, how his abs tensed when taking you from behind.

How the veins on his lower arm and on the hand popped up when grabbing your throat to make you look in the mirror.

And of course, how helplessly cute you looked when getting your cunt pounded like it would be the only goal in his life.   

"Nah, no looking away, babygirl." he snickered, always playful while being so deep inside you, you thought you would have been split open. Your cheeks already flush, his hands had grabbed your arms, hooking his hands underneath your elbows, to pull on you, just to bury a further inch inside your snug pussy.

Your pussy was pure heaven for him, dripping down his shaft, no one else could make you this wet, and he fucking knew it.

Always a shy girl, but so nice and wet when his dick was inside you. Moaning and crying, stating it would be too much, although it was just right.

"Re-reno, it's weird." you puffed out of your plump lips, when you looked at him through the mirror. Still, his pace restless and fast. Just slowing down now a little, to gave you something to breathe.

"Weird you say? So weird to watch that cute pussy getting parted for me? I love how we look like that, sweets." he stated, tilting his head, before letting one arm of you loose. You had such a nice deep arch for him.

"I mean, look at that... See how I enjoy fucking you?" he bends slightly forward just to lick a stripe up your neck to whisper it in your ear. Making his tip hit your cervix, what made you squeal, so cute, he swore you were so cute like this.

"Fuck...you're so...ahhh naughty." you tried to act up, a weak attempt on the fact how your walls grabbed his length.

"Oh, believe me, when I wouldn't be a turk, we would be porn stars, sugar." he joked, before grabbing you more firmly and steady to continue you to fuck you into oblivion in front of the mirror.

"Now give me a cute face, yeah, just like that. Look how good we look, how well you take me." he praised you with that damn sneer in his face, the damn grin and these turquoise eyes that now landed on you and him in the reflection. 

Sephiroth ~ Eyes on your pussy…

He is not really known to be so close with anyone. Expect you, one of the assistants from Hojo. Always so cute and your thoughtful expression. Alone, the care you took to ask him if he is fine, after a mission. Something he enjoyed, something that made him want to have you. And indeed he had you, all so possessive, all so rough.

Just enough time to have you on the desk in some office.

But what he adored to look at, green mako eyes fixed on that pink slit between your thighs.

Spreading your pussy lips apart, just to watch how deep he sunk into your welcoming heat.

He wasn't that good to look into your face, not that he wouldn't manage that at all. But it made his heart a weird movement, a weird feeling he didn't know how to put. So fixing on your wet cunt instead, seemed like a plan to him. Something he grew a little obsessed with.

Watching every little twitch your pussy made, how your clit throbbed when being neglected. How your hole clenched when he split you open.

Damn, it fascinated him, how he could stretch your pretty cunt out. And how it made your core flutter. Especially when you had this tummy bulge because he was so big, when he could watch how he rearranged your insides.

These low moans and grunts that came from his throat, not just because you felt absolutely divine, no because your pussy was like a pretty flower blooming for him.

A flower he wanted to squirt all over him, to gush out in pure ecstasy.   

"Look at that, so eager to take all of me, hm?" he teased with a calm voice, before his tip vanished inside you again, making your spine curve up.

"Please...faster." you whined nearly, but that plea fell on def ears, his eyes only watching your puffy folds. A hand of yours reaching down, wanting to rub your clit, to get that feeling of being high on pleasure. But before you could even touch your nub, his hand slapped yours away.

His handsome features shortly came to look in your eyes.

"Not without permission, little one. But I guess you lost that privilege now." he said to you, pushing his thick girthy cock further inside you.

The way your eyes rolled back, was something he may want to look more often, maybe when he had enough of watching that cute cunt try to milk him.

"But, Sephiroth... I just...hmm, just want-" you tried to say something with sense, although he literally fucked your brain out before.

"Sweet girl, got a greedy pussy. You just want, to cum, no other thought in that pretty head of yours." he taunted you nearly, making you blush, although he was right.

Wanting to cum so badly, you nearly could taste it on your cunt.

One hand from him moved down your belly, feeling how deep he was inside you, pressing down slightly, what made you cry out.

"Oh god..." was all you could let out, as he watched in awe how you clenched around him, how these juices spilled out of your cunt, making your legs shake. How he, the strongest SOLDIER, made you shake.

"Yeah, that's what I thought...pretty girl, with an even more pretty pussy." he murmured before finally picking up his pace.

Zack Fair ~ Shutting up when seeing tits…

Zack has a body that bangs you until the sun goes up and a face that wants to make you breakfast. But he couldn't help to have his girlfriend on top of him. Propped up on his thick cock. His mako eyes just loved to watch your tits bounce for him, how soft they were. How good your mounds looked when he gave them a little hickey sometimes because he sucked a little too eager.

Creamy skin, and pretty nipples, just so alluring to him. Always having them in his hands, always looking at them. Nearly as if he was cast with a spell, so in trance.

And the way you dragged your cunt up and down his pulsing cock, making him groan.

Eyes sometime fluttering shut, only to open again, afraid he might miss one of your cute bounces and the way your tits moved with it.

That puppy, gone, totally gone.

He was always a tits guy, no matter how yours looked, how big or small they were, he just loved them. Squished them, and he always had this endearing blush on his cheeks, when you caught him being totally transfixed to your chest.   

"God, yes. Riding me so good, you are such a...a natural in this, aren't you?" he babbled, he never could keep his mouth shut, not at all. The way your insides grabbing him, making him buck his hips up a little, just to bully his pink tip back inside you, against your sweet spot.

Then you took off your shirt and this was the moment, it made him shut up.

Just a groan and a moan slipping out of his lips.

Spiky hair messy when he reached one hand up to palm your tit.

"Suddenly so quiet." you joked while grinding against him, making his abs tense underneath you. Supporting your weight on top of his torso, sometimes fingers dancing over these muscles, you liked so much.

"Let a man adore his girlfriends, boobs. Can't help when....ah fuck...can't help when they are so perfect." he tried to listen, indeed he tried. Besides the fact that every blood was in his rock hard cock, now your unpacked, stunning tits on display for him. A thumb brushing over your nipple, before he gently tugged on it, making you gasp.

"Zack..." you moaned, your cunt dragging along his shaft in the most delicious way, the hips of you in a circle motion.

When you suddenly felt how his other palm came up grabbing you and pushing you forward, his hands on your ass. Making your upper body fall into him. As he decided to pound into you while his face being smashed with your tits.

"I love your tits, damn, so fucking perfect. Baby, I just could cum from looking at them." he confessed, hold back a whimper before his lips found the sensitive nipple from your right breast to suck in it. Making him groan even more, making his cock disappear even faster inside you.

Rufus Shinra ~ Got a thing for your backside…

Oh, every time you walk by, every time you turned around so he could see your pretty backside.

Rufus Shinras mouth went dry, that perfect curve of your ass, the way your hips swayed slightly when you walked.

The shape, alone the fact it looked so...just so good. Nearly made his serious composure fall.

After all, he was a busy man, a powerful man.

The president of Shinra companies was not only in love with you, but hell, did he is in love with your ass.

Having you bend over his desk whenever he could, not that he would have many opportunities in his leadership position. And every time he fucking loved to watch your soft skin yield under his touch, how your ass bounced back against him. How it looked when he grabbed a chunk of it.

Not to forget, he just couldn't help then to smack it while fucking his cock inside your tight pussy.

Alone, the fact you always arched your ass up for him, how it made your cunt clench when he smacked your ass.

The red hand print that was left there, before he would soothe it with a sweet caress.   

"Keep the arch, pretty. Need to be deep inside you, after that...urghh meeting." his voice strained, his blue orbs fixed on your flesh. The way your back was curved, how you knew he liked your butt that much, how you shamelessly wiggled it back onto him. Before moaning so pretty.

It was like a long needed break, every time he plunged his needy cock inside your heavenly cunt.

His hands grabbing your waist, just to watch the skin jiggled every time he thrusted inside you, feeling every vein that drags along his cock.

"Spank me, please." you urged him then, already could tell he wanted, just how his fingers before had danced over your skin, grabbing a good chunk of your ass. Holding back, not wanting to overwhelm his pretty lady so soon. Although, the way your ass bounced back against his pelvis, had something hypnotic and satisfying. Making him calmer, reducing his stress level. But when he could smack your ass, spank it, making you whimper and clench down on him. This had the Shinra president, going.

You heard a deep breath and a slight growl, just by how good he was fucking you. His palm caressing your sensitive skin, in a gentle motion.

"You play your cards just right, hm? Exactly knowing what I wanted, before I even bend you over." you heard him chuckle, and just as soon as you wanted to reply a sharp spank was heard, making your chest lay flat against the wooden desk. It had you cross-eyed, pussy drooling.

"Look at that, as if my hand print would be your personal branding, darling." he cooed before he leaked pre-cum right inside you, hitting that spongy part with such precise.

"Then brand me, baby." you moaned, wanting more of it.

cloud’s not so physically affectionate, especially in public. he doesn’t do candlelit dinners with wine and sweet nothings, or slinging an arm over your shoulder to press you to his side. but when he comes home after a long day with tifa and the rest of avalanche, dark trails of marks littering his arms and back, he comes to you for patching up.

though it takes a long time for cloud to accept the love you truly have for him (and a lot of late nights spent bickering because he doesn’t want to bother you with the wound he can’t get on his back) — one night, he sits on your bed and wordlessly hands you supplies. his eyes can’t tear away from your soft smile and dreary eyes.

he’s grateful for your patience at his awkwardness. cloud hasn’t exactly had much experience with relationships, and not the best for the ones he did have. he means well; although his words come out strained, like the molasses didn’t come up his mouth right and instead sticks to his incisors, the sweetness of his tone absent and replaced with something almost confused. you reassure him it’s okay, that it’s okay to not say anything. he always wonders how you always know what to say to him and instead lets his hand rub circles into your wrist as a response.

and when you lay at night, he’s subtle too. his soft breaths muffled into the crook of your neck as you mewl quietly, soft words spewed through your lips between sighs. he asks you a question and your brain’s so fuzzy you almost can’t hear it, until you feel fingers hook into your waistband, perched there until he asks you again.

his eyes’ll always find you in a room until your own pair meet his — only then does he look away. he can always find you, from a laugh in a crowded room or from your quiet sobs behind the bathroom door. cloud finds comfort in these moments because he didn’t have anyone to lean on like this. he only hopes you’ll find comfort in it, too.

ᯓ ZACK FAIR’s love is boyish — rosy smiles with crinkled eyes, only starlight in them at the way you compliment his technique in battle. proud hands on his hips as he clears his throat with a confident, “yeah? oh, yeah! maybe i’ll teach you sometime!”

when he’s not training under angeal and so busy all the time, being a SOLDIER and all, spending time with you is one of the main ways he shows affection. a hand in yours while the other holds a cup of ice cream, prattling on about how he couldn’t wait to come home; looking over to you once you laugh behind your hand, a grin on his face and a bump of your hip is all he needs and he’d die a happy man.

zack will kiss your tears away and cup your face in his hands, looking down on you with only the softest of gazes. he’ll listen to you talk the same way you listen to him — always. it’s a mutual thing between you two and zack sees nothing but equality in your relationship; so when he’s pulling you close to his chest with a hand on the back of your head, he’ll stand there until his legs hurt and your voice gives out.

he’ll do anything you ask — talk with you, listen to you, pass by the food stall for your favorite on the way home, anything to make you feel better. he’ll even stand there for hours, rubbing circles into your back — cracking only a few jokes to hear the soft rumble in your body, letting a small chuckle of his own slip in.

at night, he’s quick with it even with the hand that cradles the back of your neck; a soft gesture even while he’s rolling his hips harshly and pressing his lips against your own, feeling the smile that breaks out on both his and your face. he can’t help but wanna get closer to you, until your brains meld together with the sweat on your skin and the moon on your faces.

zack smells of citrus and the ground outside; and he can never quite get rid of it. especially since you start using the same body wash and pitter patter along outside to hug him goodbye. he walks away with a grin, his pulse quickening and his stomach tightening with the thought of you.

ᯓ SEPHIROTH’s love is quiet — murmured upon the top of your head where it travels through the flesh and fires your neurons, a softness oozing inside of you. a soft hand at the curve of your lower back, guiding you where he needs you to go, perhaps subconsciously. perceptively eyeing any habits you have; like holding a pencil between your teeth or stumbling over your feet — maybe a few low, playful remarks, too.

he writes you everyday when he’s on long missions. they’re usually short, but the length doesn’t matter compared to the content that’s within them, sweet letters across the page in small handwriting, signed off with his initials at the bottom and the scent of warm leather alongside it.

the warmth of seph’s skin is foreign when you’re so used to his gloves. when he takes them off, it’s a nice change of pace as you can finally feel his skin as he can yours. he’ll come home from dinner, taking off his arm and unsheathing himself for the day — he’s bare and belly-up but seph figures it’s okay as long as it’s you he’s with. he gives a small kiss to your forehead, delicate and careful, as he asks about your day over dinner; and as the lights comes through, glaring at you through the cracks of windows, you tell him.

he’ll talk about you to his friends; angeal and genesis practically rolling their eyes the next time they hear about you. he merely crosses his arms and goes on about you even further to annoy them. what can he say? you have a special place in his mind, inhabiting it 24/7.

sephiroth’s a quiet lover at heart, even while you got your legs wrapped around him, pulling him in closer. his breathing only becomes heavier and you worry he doesn’t feel as good until you involuntarily clench around him; his lashes fluttering with a sudden groan. you crack a grin and he puffs an amused breath through his nose before he leans over you, your pupils dilating at his whispers.

he lies back and lets his eyes flutter close at night. he knows that you only have to press your ear to his chest to hear your name rather than a heartbeat. he only hopes you know, too.

ᯓ ANGEAL HEWLEY’s love is wholehearted — because he figures; why do something if you’re not going to give it your all? angeal doesn’t date often, if at all. he was hesitant to date you only because this relationship with you and his relationship with work would probably be imbalanced and while he did find you attractive both inside and out, he wanted to establish a bond of trust between the two of you before going any further.

angeal is very careful with his love, another perceptive one. even as sleep pulls at his eyelids and a yawn threatens to escape his throat, he will always come home to you and ask how your day’s been, how you’re doing, everything before falling asleep. a soft smile tugs at his lips when he hears you ask the same, following him to the bedroom after the both of you packed and stowed away leftovers. he respects equality and trust within your relationship as well and tries his hardest to maintain a healthy relationship through and through.

he’ll send you lengthy letters full of promises and sweet words, awaiting the day when he comes back home from his longer missions. he’ll tell you about zack, about genesis’ antics, about the dumbapples in his village. he’ll even take you to see them, if you’d like. angeal is also very old fashioned — insisting that you meet his mother and that he asks your parents (or friends) for your hand in marriage when it comes to it.

while not into pda as much, there are times where he’ll sit with you outside and just bask in your presence. hand in his, he’ll turn away to hide the subtlety of his growing smile but only hopes that you don’t hide yours. quality time is especially important to angeal — whenever he has free time to spare, he always spends it with you. a freshly baked cookie; gooey on the inside and crispy on the outside.

angeal is very loving at night, too. though preferring to let you do your own thing unless told otherwise, he is just a sucker for missionary, only because he just wants your space in his; just so you two can clutch onto each other, pulsing excitement threatening to tear a tendon as you both murmur out praises that only make his hips stutter and tilt upward.

as a boy, knee scraped and tears brimming in his eyes, his father told him that something gold waited for angeal. he only truly believed it when he met you, and now everything’s turned to gold.

ᯓ GENESIS RHAPSODOS’ love is poetic — and no, not just because he reads poetry, but because the way he shows his love is almost like a dream. bordering on the brink of a fairytale will genesis’ love be displayed, almost a bit cliché.

obviously he is a first class SOLDIER as well, and balancing all the work he is and public appearances (and his fan club..), he doesn’t want to make you feel neglected! so he’ll come to your home and just want to relax. but at least, he gets to do it with you. waiting for you to finish reading before he turns a page in a book you both have your noses in, until you eventually fall asleep — he resists the urge to keep reading and instantly marks the page, shutting the book altogether and pressing his lips to your forehead in a kiss goodnight.

will also write you letters when he’s far away! (yes, he might be a little sad if he doesn’t get one back) — but the type to do it the most though, as he prefers pen to paper than a call away. yes, he makes sure to kiss the letter before he sends it off. he thinks it helps it navigate itself to you and ensures that it doesn’t get lost. you laugh it off but surprisingly none of your letters have ever gotten lost in the mail. . .

also one to take you to banora to see the dumbapples — he’ll tell you of fond memories and the smell of floral days and sugar slowly creep up on you, and you both smile at it. it might take genesis a while to unfold his secrets, but he’d like to be shown bare with you, nothing hidden. he just doesn’t know how. if you gently clasp his hands and look him in the eye, expressing how okay everything will be even if he doesn’t tell you, you’ve got his hand in marriage.

so talkative even when it’s just the two of you in bed; he’s confident while he’s grinding into you, whispering sweet nothings to you and occasionally laughing at an expression you make. he can’t help but tease you even in your most vulnerable moments. he’ll place two fingers on either side of your jaw and tilt your head up to just look at him — that’s all he wants you to see as you cum. he may be a little possessive.. who knows??

genesis is a lover who shows you that the world is a beautiful place, and that you are but a beautiful piece of nature in this place. he’ll tell you that the wind whispers sweet messages for you, that the sun calls each day wishing to look upon your face, that the ocean sings in its waves in a song just for you — that it’s all for you.

ᯓ RENO’s love is teasing — laughing at you when he has to catch you when you trip, flicking your forehead when you ask him a question you’ve already asked. it’s all lighthearted though, you know it deep down. he’s catlike, one who’ll knock a mug over just to see you scramble to try and catch it or lay across your lap while you’re working.

being a turk also has its downsides for when he’s away from you. he won’t call or write, but reno can never stay away from you for too long or else rude’ll have to endure more of his complaining about the mission being too long. a real whiner, he is. even when he comes home; if you try to give him a hug, he’ll scoff and “try to push you away” which ends up being more like pawing at you instead. oh no, what a predicament he’s in . . whatever will he dooo. . .

he’s much more protective in public or when you’re around friends which is the most you’ll get. his love language is being annoying unfortunately. reno’s not into romantic stuff like that either, no candlelit dinners or dancing in the moonlight. stereotypical romance isn’t for him — even if you try to ask for it.

instead, he’ll wriggle his way behind you when you’re half asleep, nosing his way into your neck as he just . . lays there. he’s got a bruised rib and a wrapped gash across his leg, but he’ll still let you latch onto him when you’re sleeping, as tight as you can — or something, i guess. he doesn’t care. (he totally does).

he tries to act like he knows what he’s doing but reno’s thrusts are a little clumsy, paired with staggered breaths and starved kisses. a hand on his cheek and a soft look in your eyes, though. that’s all he needs before he’s holding back the urge to cum and he kisses you to swallow the whine in the back of his throat.

reno’s love is playful and albeit a little frustrating; but when you feel him reach over to you in the middle of the night for your hand, everything feels right.

taglist ; @xiansiii @alieeelinn @ch3rryfiles @akerasia @meowieesilly @snoopicle

sephiroth can only watch as crystalline tears freeze upon touching the icy ground at your knees and when droplets of your blood join them, his head starts to hurt, an aching pressure behind his eyes that he’s felt many times before and conjures images of raging flames and a pool of blood he knows is yours. 

when he’s able to open his eyes again, there’s a split second of relief that he feels when he sees you still in front of him before it’s replaced with an emotion he couldn’t put a single name to. he only knows that his very soul is being ripped in two and set a blaze at the sight of blood dripping from your mouth and masamune sinking into your chest, his bare hands driving the blade deeper into you. your pleas quickly turning into a cry of pain that rings in his ears, unrelenting and heart breaking. through masamunes hilt he can feel the way it breaks through your bones and cuts the soft petaled flesh he’s kissed countless times. deeper his blade goes, effectively skewering through you all while his muscles scream out in agony as they’re pulled each way in his attempt to stop himself. 

he has to stop - he can’t - he won’t - but inevitably it means nothing.

you’re so close he can taste the metaliciness of your blood in the air, can feel your fleeting warmth kissing his chilled skin and the weight of your body growing heavier on his sword. sephiroth can only stare helplessly at the way you bleed and grasp onto your life. behind him, echoing along the icy crystals, is hojos amused laugh. the same one he often used watching sephiroth hurt just as the professor had warned him he would if he didn’t his warnings.

“i told you,” hojo says, his prideful smile painted in his words telling of just how much he’s enjoying being right. “there was never any chance of saving them from you.”

hojo says more but sephiroth can’t hear him through the rapid drumming of his heartbeat in his ears as your trembling hand reaches out for him, your other being used as leverage to help bring you further down masamunes long blade, closer to him.

at the touch of your fingers grazing along his cheek, covered in blood and losing heat so quickly, whatever had hold over his body gives enough way that he doesn’t hesitate to take advantage of in order to reach for you in return but as soon as his hand is on your arm, trying to pull you into him, the aching in his head surges tenfold.

without letting go of you, his vision blurs, the entire world vibrates violently, but rather than seeing any of the mirage of images he had before, it’s only you that distorts between how you had looked mere moments ago to your skin turning different shades of splotched gray and deep purple veins spread everywhere; your head hung lower as you fight for life viruses the tender expression that’s worn by your visage but isn’t truly yours. not like he knows it to be. 

each shot of pressure behind his eyes makes you blur back and forth but your words ring clear and soft, kinder than he ever deserved and with all the love you hold for him. “it’s okay seph. as long as you’ll get to be with j -”

the touch of your forehead to his chest feels more like the entire planet of gaia is crashing into his rib cage and makes him take in an unsteady gasp for air that burns his lungs as though it was his first breath ever -

sephiroth is forced awake, the discomfort in his chest mirroring how it was in what he knows was a nightmare. he’s had so many before, for as long as he can remember, but it had not made it easier to swallow the effects they had on him; the way it could blur reality and dreams even after waking.

surely that was why he could still feel the cold of that frozen place and the thickness of blood on his hands despite being half covered by the duvet and the pale skin of his hands looking completely clean as he sits up and stares down at them like they had truly taken the life of the person he cherishes the most. he could still feel it all, down to the way he felt masamune - a very extension of himself -  cutting through you without mercy and the ringing in his ears that mingled with your resounding sobs. 

everything only seems to grow worse when, like a child afraid to wake their mother in the middle of the night, he wordlessly reaches out for you and is met with a cold, empty, place where your body should have been curled up next to him. and when sephiroth sees he is utterly alone, the world seems to move painfully slow. gravity growing heavier and making it more difficult to shift onto his knees and for his hands to clutch at the sheets on your side of the bed as if searching for an ounce of your warmth, any reminder of your presence, within the threads.

but there's nothing. no warmth, no comfort, no you and the longer he tries to find you there, the more it feels as though the entire planet is devoid of your love and light. all because of him and before he knows it, he’s dragged further into darkness.

his hands are shaking, his breathing painfully ragged and his chest aching with a crushing pressure. he’s endured much discomfort before but nothing like this. nothing like the agony of being without you after finally letting himself have you. not after swearing to protect you with his very life.

silver strands of hair stick to his sweat beaded skin and catch in his blurry vision with every heavy blink of his eyes that sephiroth swears are deceiving him. they must be when he can feel your blood on him despite not being able to see it. it’s there, he knows it is, staining his soul, flooding his lungs, sitting heavy on his heart. ready to break him.

he finds comfort in the sweet cruelness of his own mind when it betrays him further and makes him see your hands reaching for him in the dark. he expects them to go right through him before they’re gone once more, nothing more than a ghost of a touch he hadn’t deserved in the first place, that his own hands had snuffed out, but no - he feels the warmth of your fingers, the unreal softness of your skin, that travel down his palms, the benevolence of your touch that always seemed accompany the way you handled him, washing away the sticky feeling of blood he thought might never leave, and sees them wrap around his wrists as if to tether him to this world. to you.

“sephiroth..” 

it’s not the only time you’ve called out to him since reentering the bedroom and finding him on his knees, hunched over, the broad expanse of his back rising and falling with quick, uneven, breaths and clinging to the sheets on your side of the bed like they were a life line but with the way he looks up at you now, mako eyes seemingly glowing in the dark, pulsing with a mix of torment and realization, you think he’s finally heard your voice.

“love, what’s wr-” you don’t get the chance to finish before his arms are around you and you’re being pulled onto the bed, into his embrace, in a dizzying display of his strength and gentleness. but it’s easy to find your bearings when you’re quickly pressed flushed to his chest and your legs settle on either side of his like this is exactly where you belonged. 

he’s burning up, hotter than he normally runs, barely breathing and trembling all over. the parts of his skin that touch your own damp with cold sweat but you don’t let it stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck, maneuvering under his hair, and pulling him as close to you as possible. 

sephiroth whispers your name, broken and wavering and followed by his arms around you growing tighter, nearly crushing but it doesn’t hurt and you only encourage it more when you return it in kind, bringing one of your hands to hold the back of his head and keep him pressed, hidden from the world, in the crook of your neck. 

“i’m here,” you promise and wonder if perhaps it’s exactly what he needed to hear when his hands bunch up the fabric of your shirt - one of his old training shirts you’ve confiscated as your own. 

the thundering of his heartbeat can be felt throughout your whole body and you hold him like he’s something precious. as gentle as thin glass and as close to your heart as a cherished locket. your voice is a mirror of your emotions and meant to sooth him, remind him that he’s as safe in your arms as you are in his. “it’s okay seph. i’ve got you.”

he doesn’t speak or say anything but he doesn’t need to. you know by the way he holds you like you may slip through his grasp, like maybe this isn’t real, that he’s had a nightmare. one of so many you’ve been around to see him have, but this is also different than anytime before. he must have seen something truly horrible and it breaks your heart, brings unshed tears to your eyes. 

your body had picked the wrong night to be so restless. you thought you were doing him a favor by slipping out of bed and waiting for tiredness to wash over you in the living room before returning to where you normally slept curled against him. he’d fallen asleep so quickly, needed the rest, and the last thing you wanted was to disrupt that but you’d have stayed if you knew what was going on behind his closed eyes. 

he’d be vehemently against it, you know he would, but you’d have happily taken all of his bad dreams and dreamt them yourself if you could.

wordlessly you hold each other for an amount of time you don’t care to count. you’d stay here till the sun rose and fell again so long as he needed it. as time ticks by, slowly but surely, his heartbeat steadies, falls in line with your own, and each deep breath he takes that’s so full of you helps to relax the muscles of his body. your fingers run through his silken hair, careful in the way they untangle little knots that are proof of his fitful sleep and provide a comfort he isn’t sure he deserves. sephiroth has never been sure he’s deserved you but that would never make him let you go. especially tonight when his mind continues to echo hojos words, ‘there was never any chance of saving them from you.’ 

despite the calmness that has washed over him in lulling waves, his hold is unrelenting, unwilling to let you go, a silent vow that he’d never let anything happen to you. nothing and no one, not even himself, could harm you. he’d use every single ounce of his power and strength to ensure that. anything could happen to him so long as you were safe. 

you’d never be as strong as he is, never know the other worldly power he holds and is forced to use for the sake of those who use him, but that would never stop you from feeling and doing everything to keep him safe too. many times it has made you wish you were stronger but at times so little do you understand that all you do for him, the way you protect him, has nothing to do with strength. the love and care you have for him, that you show him every day, is more powerful than any physical prowess. and right now, as you continue to hold him, love him, he thinks it to be more true than ever.  

when he finally moves, neither of you being able to bear letting the other go far, it’s just enough so he can look into your eyes, remind himself that what he saw in his dreams was truly only a dream. 

just a dream. he repeats to himself as he stares at you and brings a hand up to cup your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. as you lean into his palm, the smile you give him is both calming and radiant and proof that there’s no trace of how you were in his nightmare. no blood, no tears, no pain, no discolor of greys and purple to your skin. you’re beautiful. very much alive. his. 

“everything’s okay,” you whisper, as if you could read on his face what was running through his mind. “what you saw in your dream wasn’t real, i promise.”

“you’re okay,” he says aloud, reassuring himself, his vocal cords crackling with the remnants of being unable to speak or have control over his body, even in his dream. 

“i’m okay,” you echo without missing a beat, not needing him to elaborate. “safe and sound with you.” the last of his discomfort vanishes at the weight of your forehead on his, a distance you close, and the way you rub the nip of your noses together. “just like you’re safe and sound with me, my love.”

with a sigh of relief that you feel the heat of on your mouth, his fingers tangle into your hair and pull you closer till your lips meet in a long, soft kiss that seals your promise into his heart and soul. 

“are you two married or something?”

the question popped up out of nowhere and the way aerith just dropped the question, paired with a cute smug face, was not helping the situation at all. the young woman seemed ready to dive into your personal life and learn all about the 30 years of long history between you both, eagerly awaiting an answer while tifa sighed and shook her head in the background.

when vincent first joined avalanche with a personal grudge in mind, he was the most silent person around besides him. sitting at the far back, in the corners, hiding away whenever he could and only holding a conversation with barely handful of words used. and yet when you decided to tag along for “the shits and giggles” as you said, vincent had been more… social.

mostly with you or cid, but the fact vincent valentine started to hold conversations more, not linger in the background and even actively stay in the main room to share drinks together after an ass-kicking was undeniably present. the broody man seemed to just hover around you, perpetually hunched hunk of a mass lingering near you like a shadow, always ending up reminiscing of your old days of working for shinra.

it was a surprise to the team to find out you were once a soldier for shinra around the same time vincent was a turk. someone who was as wild, carefree and rebellious like you bending to the will of a greedy corporation just felt… out of character. peculiar. unlikely. but the faded black and white photo you pulled out from your wallet proved it. you and vincent, side by side, much younger and softer without the cold glare life had planted in your eyes and certainly breaking the rules by not wearing the standard issued uniform.

either way, the second most silent member of avalanche had noticed something else on the two of your persons. a red piece of cloth — eerily similar to the material and color of vincent’s bandana — wrapped around the handle of your ōdachi style sword, and three headed dog keychain jingling from the butt of vincent’s gun.

the red cloth around your weapon handle, that could be explained by the simple “you being you” and your love for eccentric, popping bright colors. but the keychain on vincent was one that was hard to explain. the man was as dead as a corpse rotting away at the nearest hole in the earth and perhaps even as cold as one, if not colder, yet here he was donning a charm on the end of his threatening weapon, letting the weirdly cute thing jingle around whenever he whipped the weapon out to twirl it in the air with a dramatic flourish before firing with a loud BANG!.

there were just small pieces of you two on each other so much to the point that a drunk cid had accidentally mistaken one of you for the other at the bar. not so surprising considering the both of you enjoyed wearing a seemingly matching shades of red, long outer wears. something aerith and cait sith cooed out about it being ‘old couple cutesy-dudesy’. words vincent grunts loudly at while you merely grin and play along, goading the younger ones into believing you could very much potentially be an item and not just some old work buddies. the younger ones eat it up every time.

standing atop the roof of the chocobo farm, you enjoy your privacy as the thin cigarette in your hold warms your cold fingers. the sky was clear this night, indicating a good clear, sunny day all day tomorrow. it would be a good day to head out in your opinion. to make way towards the next town. even with the door leading to the stairs that took you down to the second and first floors of the farm house was closed shut, you could hear some of the music blasting, the loud cheers and calls for singing along to the party song. they sure as hell had a lot of stamina when it came to partying, you have realized. something good ol’ vinnie and you can’t exactly seem to keep up with now that you were both pushing your 60s.

“i thought i told you to drop that bad habit of yours” the low timbre of vincent’s voice scared you for a moment, making you jolt where you had been leaning against the rails.

”by the dead, make some noises when you’re creeping around next time, will you? nearly made me drop my cigarette and start a fire” you complained under your breath, leaning back away from the railings so at least you won’t be dropping the lit ciggy to the grass. the fright left quickly, replaced by some anxiousness and the need to defend yourself filling its spot as vincent raised a brow at you, staring at the cancer stick in your hold and to your face. there was slight pink on your cheeks — either from the alcohol you’ve chugged earlier when competing against barret or from the chill winds, he doesn’t know — a pink that he uncharacteristically found endearing.

”a whole decade of scolding your ears off about your stupid habits and yet you still have yet to let it go. are you really this dumb or should i scold you for a few more decades as well?” the former turk grumbled, clearly disappointed to see you with a lit cigarette in hand. and yet he reached out all the same, taking the stick from your loose hold to take a slow inhale himself. the warm orange glow lit his face in warm colors, giving more eerie colors to the lone red glow of his right eye. but the effects of hojo’s doings or chaos being infused into his body never scared you. in fact, you liked him even more with the eerie eye glows and uncontrollable growls and rare purrs.

”you say that yet look at you, doing the same mistakes as me” huffing at the unfairness he brought to you, you wait as he puffs out the smoke in one slow exhale, taking the cigarette away from you when you held out a hand expectantly. his refusal to hand you your cigarette back left you huffing at him, the petulant look on your face making vincent grin as he dodges your attempts to take the tobacco back. sooner or later, you would start ranting about the unfairness of his long limbs and stealing things that were not his.

4, 3, 2 —

“vinnie, i swear by gaia” ah, there it was. that little grumble of a ’threat’ you give him before full on out throwing your body at him to get back whatever it may be that you had lost to him.

”you’re going to ask for your cigarette back, and if i say ‘no’ — which we both know that i will — you’ll throw yourself at me?” and there it was again, that little twitch in your brows and the way you run your tongue over your fangs in hopes of holding back your words. he had you all figured out, after all. a whole 30 years had passed since you went your separate ways and yet you still act the same way. nothing about you had changed except for the few strands of grey from stress of shinra and having to deal with the young ones at avalanche now, and the smile lines around your eyes and lips.

you had already gotten grey hairs and yet he wasn’t around to witness them, vincent realized, feeling a sense of failure at the way he had just seemingly left you out of nowhere to deal with life and shinra all alone by yourself. what good was there to him in the first place? first failing to keep lucrecia safe, then failing to keep her son safe and now failing you. he always failed those closest to him, didn’t he? choosing to run and hide away because he was dealing with some shit, forgetting that those around him were dealing with their own demons too.

such a failure—

“vincent” blinking, shaking his head to clear out his thoughts at least for this night, the lone glow of his eye turned to look at you. you had your cigarette back in hand, but the tobacco roll seemed to be the least of your worries as you stood by his side, holding him by the arm as if to stabilize him. or had you heard his inner turmoil? that would be embarrassing. you were already dealing with the drawback symptoms of mako injections and yet his selfish idiocy would force you to look after him as well. no, this time, he’ll be the one to look after you. this time, you can lay your head on him and rest.

gloved hand grasping at your bare one, his bigger hand wrapped like a protective embrace around the scarred and marred one of yours. burnt from years of handling lighters and zippos, scarred from the decades of serving under shinra, left calloused from the countless battles. squeezing your hand as if to convince himself, vincent took his time to drink in your visage.

ah, how much you had changed and yet how so little as well.

there was a certain heaviness in your gait now, a droop to your shoulders that did not fit someone as bright and confident as you, and shadows that seemed to cling even with the full moon shining down just for you. you have changed, but vincent wanted to be by your side all the same.

”i’m fine, [name]” grumbling low at the back of his throat, the former turk’s gaze never leave the sight of you in all your current glory, taking his time to stare at every stress lines, every laugh lines, every strand of hair that was on the process of going grey greedily for he had not seen you for the past near 30 years. and he had remembered with a sudden start that yes, he had missed you. he had missed his closest friend, his companion, the only one who had been the one constant in his life.

vincent valentine had missed his [name].

”just… reminiscing” another squeeze to your hand, but this time, you returned his shy touches back at him, holding his hand tighter in your hold as if he would leave you again, just like that day 30 years ago.

”mmh.. either way, i’m glad to have you back here with me, vinnie”

”…i’m glad to be back by your side too, [name]”

“you know that you don’t have to do this unless you really want to, right? i wouldn’t want you growing uncomfortable around me just because we’re a little tipsy and ditzy right now”

“i know that, [name]” vincent muttered against your lips when you pulled back just enough to make sure for the nth time that he was okay with doing this, chasing afterwards to silence your charming drunk rambles. you would have never guessed how touch starved your idiot was until now, with him climbing up to straddle your lap, the golden claws of his gauntlet leaving bits and pieces of tears in your shirt, right where they fisted at the collar of your clothes.

”i’m just…” mumbling against your lips, the chapped lips of his stole a few more kisses before reluctantly puling away from your lips, looking down at himself where the clasps of his cloak had been undone to give you more skin to gnaw at. fingering one of the many buckles that held the leather skin tight around himself, vincent hesitates about what to do or say to you.

of course, you had already seen the horrors hojo had left behind on his skin; the healed autopsy scar with its thick stitches and bunched up flesh, inner elbow of his where the old scars of hundreds or so needles had pierced to keep him tethering to life while his body is cut open again and again to force chaos and protomateria inside him. you held no qualms about the scars he carried, saying that you had your own scars too and all didn’t matter in the end because vincent was still vincent to you. scars and all.

but, he still felt a sense of reluctance when it came to taking the leather off. something about baring himself whole to you again, in such a vulnerable state, made him feel… something. anger at having shown you marks of his weakest moments? shame for letting your sharp mind realize that he is still yet to come to accept the changes chaos made to his body? embarrassed because he was so desperate to feel your touch on him?

vision spinning and rolling around, vincent didn’t realize his bigger physique had been successfully flipped around so that he would be the one to lie on his back atop the soft cushions of your room until he saw your stupid grinning face shining down on him. ah, he had let down his guard again, and you had taken the chance to make a fool out of him. but if this happens every time only when he is with you, vincent held no complaints.

”how about we take it one step at a time, v? let me take the lead this time and we’ll figure out what you like, yeah?” leaning over him, you pepper kisses on his flushed cheeks, making chaos rumble deep in his chest like an overgrown spoiled cat under your care.

humming instead and telling chaos to shut up in his consciousness, vincent helps you takeoff his pants when your finger tugged at its hem. lifting up his hips, allowing you to take off the leather clothing, followed by his boxers that had an embarrassing small spot of wetness on the front, valentine hid his face behind his hands at the look on your face. one filled with so much love and tenderness, it made his stomach grow warm and mind grow dazed. he couldn’t bring himself to look down at you, not when you were peppering old gun shot wounds on his thighs with such care.

“you’re so pretty, vinnie. it makes me jealous sometimes, looking at your gorgeous figure and handsome face” mumbling words against his skin, dragging your lips over the new and old wounds, there was heat on his cheeks and ears. he knew he was flushing red like some idiot, swayed by some few words that you whispered against his flesh as if carving your convictions of his beauty into his soul.

”don’t—“ breath hitching, the former turk curses himself out in his mind at how whiny his words came out just now. you were a disease to him, did you knew that? even worse than chaos or the materia in him, like some tiny sentient liquid of poison that traveled into his heart whenever you wanted.

”don’t say useless things like that” swallowing down the moan that threatened to escape, vincent fists his hands into his hair, hoping the tugging pain into his scalp would distract him from the shameful feeling of his cock slowly twitching to life.

”but i’m being genuine here, vincent. you’re beautiful to me and i appreciate every moment we’ve spent together. and i would never regret anything that is between us” trailing kisses down his rising and falling stomach, he could feel you paying closer attention to the end of the autopsy scar there before turning to kiss the tip of his cock. the embarrassment he felt could be enough to kill him at this point, and vincent low-key wished it would choke him to his early grave right here and now.

”i will never regret you”

a sharp gasp tears through the tortured man’s mouth, letting go of his hold on his hair to look down at you between his legs, mouth swallowing his now hard cock slowly, inch by inch until he could feel his own tip nudging your throat all the way inside. choking on his saliva, vincent wanted to push your head off of himself. too tight, too warm, vincent was sure he was losing his mind and that his cock was melting into a puddy in your throat if it hadn’t been for the small outline he could see through your hollowed out cheeks.

”d-don’t! speak with your mouth full you-oughh.. mmhg ffffuck—!” throwing his head back, the soft bounce of the mattress made his head swim. paired with how you hummed around his dick, making his legs twitch violently, vincent was already growing short on breath as he panted like a dog. the choked out groans and the occasional breathy whimper that left him didn’t sound like him at all. vincent sounded like a stranger to his own ears.

“nnngh.. ha-aaagh [n-name], sloouwwh.. slow down a-a bit..♡︎~” whimpering, he hadn’t even realized that he was letting out the most pathetic sounds of his life when your hand patted against his own, lacing your fingers together. he could only choke on his noises, briefly raising his head up to look down at where you had gotten yourself so comfortable between his thighs. that soft look in your eyes while you damn near milked his soul dry made his ears burn up again, hiding behind his free arm just as quickly as he had peered up to stare at you.

vincent can’t bring himself to look again, in fear that it would be the last push, making his already weak will against you crumble entirely and cum down your throat. in shame, the old friend of yours tries to hold himself back as much as he could. stomach rising and falling in quick repetitions, the hand you’ve laced together squeezing around your fingers tightly, tugging and legs jerking in threat of closing around your head. a strange tasting pre dripped down your mouth, leaving behind trails of himself inside you already. had he known he was already breaking in your hold, you’re sure your idiot of an old co-worker would have made a sweet noise that did not fit his image.

trying to speak his name, to try and comfort him that it was okay to lose himself, you caress the inside of his thigh with your free hand. the constant vibrations your mouthful of talking made around his cock was the last straw. pulling his leg away, feeling himself sweat under his leather top, the red eyed man choked on his own moan when he felt his tip nudge against your throat, spilling himself down your mouth with a weak, pitiful whine that could be mistaken as your name.

perhaps it had something to do with him not longer being a human, but when the former turk came, he spilled a good amount of load. enough to make you pull away without being able to swallow all of them. cooing out some words of encouragement, your tight fist strokes him through his high, making his legs shake under the sudden strain.

”e-enouughh.. [n-name], that aagh hagh.. that’s enough..” pawing weakly at your wrist, you hum at his words before eventually letting goof your grip around his softening dick that spurted out the last few drops of his cum.

”feel better?” you ask him quietly, lying down on top of him with your full weight, knowing that he liked the heaviness that helps to ground his mind to reality. vincent’s breath was still jittery, yet to truly come down from his orgasm high. until he does, you decide to just wait for him, peppering more kisses on the small slip of skin where his top clasp that was undone.

”..y-yeah… uuhmg. all go-ood”

“has everyone packed everything? we will not be coming back if one of you forgot something behind, y’all know that right? gasoline is expensive around these parts” cid does his own little version of a roll call, standing on the top of the stairs that led to the inside of his aircraft.

some of the group called back out full of energy, some merely grunted groggily, their last night party hangover still yet to leave. some dug through their bags, mumbling under their breaths about making sure everything was indeed packed. you were of the last group, brows furrowed as you felt that empty feeling in your head that just screamed you forgot something. whatever it may be.

”uhhh, i think i might be missing something. let me just check my room real qui—“

”your gloves” vincent called out from behind you, the pair of old, worn out leather pair in his own gloved hand that he held out for you. ah, you probably left it behind while packing your things in your early morning haze. the leftover alcohol in your system clearly didn’t help.

”ah, right. sorry” holding your hand up, you feel the slight weight it gives as vincent places it in your grasp, his hand wrapping your fist around them and lingering for a moment bit too longer.

”if you leave it again, i’ll find them for you” the glow in his eye seemed to burn just a bit brighter when he said his promise, gloved hand pulling away from yours with the warmth left wrapped behind yours still.

He looked happy. 

“Something” you smiled. 

“Which is?” 

At your chest rested his head, still looking up at you, green lenses reflecting your image in them; fingers of a hand in his hair, the other securing his elbow to your side. It was one of those rare moments when everything was alright with the world; no experiments, no check-ups, and surely better, no missions— even for a little while. 

You mentally worded before saying “How I don’t dream much when I'm asleep”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not really” adjusting your position a little while holding him still, you continued “But it's strange how out of all times in my life, when I didn't see anything in sleep, to recently see… visions” you weren't sure whether the last word was correct in its sense; it was artificial to try and relate to something that wasn't tied to you like it's tied to others.

“Of what?” He asked ever so sweetly— your sweet Sephiroth, the way you remembered him, not as he was told by Shinra. 

“You” 

The word dropped low from your lips and hooked his eyelids up— so slightly another eye can't catch except yours; you thought sometimes that he wasn't in full control of his own face threads. He didn't say anything for moments, slowly seeping the mere word ‘You’ and its possible interpretations. He was a smart boy, given less credit than he deserved and more weight than he could have carried. He moved even closer; muttering too close to your face “What do you see?” 

The smile stitched itself across your face, involuntary and sudden like a good memory. you held a lock from his bangs and twirled it between your fingers and the way it ringed your digit; hair holds memories indeed.

“I've seen you one night extending your wings” you mimicked the gesture of a bird ready to fly with an arm, the other cradling him still “Floating high… so high I only saw you like a satellite, Moon's snow and sky dark” you lowered your arm again to hold his shoulder “I called out to you but you didn't hear me”

He laughed— laughed, really laughed; a short-lived joyful sound you memorized all of its strings. If only the human memory could record you'd hear his laugh for an eternity.

“I have only one wing”  

“I know” you pushed back his bangs behind his ears “In my dream you had two”

He leaned into your palm “Why do you think that is?”

“I don't know” whispering “Dreams are silly most of the time. They don’t mean anything”

The quietness of after hours painted everything in a prismatic peace, nothing mattered now except this feeling of amity. your hand brushing his head, seeking bliss from his very existence. The pause wasn't bothered as he started “Do you think…” a winter night weathered his lilt “I could ever really have two?”

The movement of your hand froze. You blinked at him, he wanted an answer.

“You already have”

His eyebrows knit “I only have one”

“No” your hand moved again, channeling the tenderness eating your nerves into the act of comforting him “You have one others can see, and one you keep to yourself.” 

He went as still as water underground. You don’t remember any words after that, just the way he lifted your hand from his shoulder, held it with both palms; they were warm, a heat you've never felt in any other human being– none of them held a candle to what Sephiroth had. It was for your own senses to feel and internalize, not to be told and shared— Adam would've kept his paradise pure if he was given a second chance, why tarnish what you held so precious to your heart?

You gently tapped the sides of his arms, asking permission. His expression was neutral, staring, just staring, till a slow, small smile curving up his mien, nodding: a yes. Just as that, you took him in your embrace and heavens, you'd be glad to have your ribs tangled with his as far as the time would end. Time stopped, the universe went silent, only the echoes of his pulse atop yours: leisure, shy and full of life. His scent fills your lungs the way the light fills the planet; consuming in love and all air to roses. His arms rose, demurely mirroring the manner of yours on his back, short hair tickling your cheeks.

“Oh sweet boy…” you whispered, spilling it in his ear “...You're more than what they say about you”

“You're more human than all of them combined…”

“Doctor Faremis!” 

The unmistakably nasal voice peeled you off from your reverie— who wouldn't be other than the Jykyllian embodiment of modernism, the great Professor Hojo?! 

You didn't bother to stand, merely putting down a leg from the other and straightening your back across the chair “Yes, Professor?”

His gaze was to be followed, not seen: anyone barely saw his eyes behind the dark glasses— that was in fact a favor he did to everyone around him, not like they were a ray of sunshine to be spared sight “Still spending your nights here?” he asked, tone color of burnt wheat “Old habits die hard, I suppose”

Why not you? You chewed the retort back to your throat, maintaining the calmness “Someone has to make sure the equipment is functioning.”

“Always so responsible” He strided along the small room, judging the white wall as if it wasn't supposed to be there. The pause allowed your imagination to picture things that could take you to the disciplinary committee: him choking, beaten to death or shot with arrows, images of a saint-Sebastian-esque divine punishment. He must have sensed what you were thinking as he cut the cord of silence short “Y'know…Sephiroth used to sleep better when you were around…”

Your heart clenched for a second, beat troubled by the mere memory. However, you can't let that show “I wasn't aware you tracked his sleep pattern so fervently” you replied.

He chuckled “Why wouldn't I?” he gestured his hand around the room, an amused smile drawn up his comportment “After all, he was my greatest achievement. I monitored everything about him. You name it—” He counted on his fingers “Nutrition, stress levels, blood pressure, brain activity, bone and muscle structure… He was such a winning horse”

“Was…” you reflected, looking at the pale floor. 

He tilted his head, mock-confused “Still uncomfortable with that word, Dr.Faremis?” he took a small step towards you, sighing theatrically “Such a shame really, all that potential and power, all that hard work and investment” He turned abruptly, giving the ceiling a sharp eye dagger “Wasted.”

Your legs sprung with a sudden electricity, standing up on their own “People aren't investments.” 

“Oh?” he laughed, turning back to you “Then what was he to you, Dr.Faremis?”

“a human being.” 

“Ah…” he pointed at you, shaking his wrist as if you were a student “That explains it”

You scoffed “explains what?” 

“Why you failed to see what he truly was” the words landed like Ivy drops: softly and so poisonous. 

“I saw exactly who he was” you tilted your head to the side, still staring at him “He was a human, a man, a person—”

“How sentimental.” He leaned closer “Tell me…do you ever wonder if things would've turned out differently… If you'd been more…” he moved his hand in a thinking matter, choosing the word “...Logical?”

“...What are you implying?” a bottle of ink shattered in your ribs. you knew this was heading somewhere you didn't want to go to.

“You've been here for thirteen years, Dr.Faremis. yet you always forget what I tell you” Hojo circled around, checking the room —more like looking for something to analyze— as he dropped so very casually “That attachment clouds judgment.”

Your lips sewed themselves together. 

“You had to learn that the hard way. Your dear uncle had to learn that the hard way. I don't know what's running in your family line so both of you had to be…mushy, if I dare say…” The man took a good look at you: standing, and out of defenses. Knowing how valiant you can be, he added fuel to the fire “Don't get me wrong, I respect Professor Gast, but it was a good ending for him to leave Shinra. He had one job yet he chose to complicate it. same as your mistake.”

“My uncle tried to save him…” You murmured, sharp as a razor “I did as well”

Exasperated, he exhaled “Save what? you only drove him to his end.”

The muscles in your knees withered. Warmth pooled under your eyelids, gathering like rain drops in a pond. The amphora filled itself again and washed your heart with the same feelings haunting you ever since: guilt, sorrow, loss and an ache that settled like a bird with a broken wing. In such times, you sought the punishment you yearned for yet never came; left to be munched and feasted upon as years passed, till you pay nature's debt yourself. you sank back into the chair, face bleak as a blind man's eyes.

a ghost of a smile danced on Hojo's lips. Satisfied, he headed out as he delivered the last whip hit for today “Let yourself sink back in if needed, Miss Faremis. that'll help you in life.” then the heavy emptiness of after a storm.

Only after his steps faded away, you let the tears run free; the luxury of warmth and catharsis with thorns you were unworthy of; it should dwell inside and kill you. sluggishly, you got up and laid on the bed— his bed: his scent of balm and leather lodging in a lobe within your skull; unforgettable. You pulled out the dark feather from your sweater's pocket, your solace for staying the night along memories and shapes of a past you dearly loved but treated you ruthlessly as company. 

You closed your eyes and welcomed it nonetheless.