well it’s been 2 years to the day since i lost my best friend. it’s still so hard. i miss them every single day and i wish more than anything they could come back for just one day. it still feels so surreal that they’re gone, and i find myself wondering if they were ever really here, or if they’re actually, really gone for real. they were the other half of my soul and i was so happy to call them a friend and a family member, and i was so lucky to be in their life.
elijah was a hysterical person who never failed to make me (and everyone they met) feel loved. they were unfailingly kind, enthusiastic, and one of the easiest people to get along with in the world. they loved horror movies (especially slashers and anything with a final girl), final fantasy, tokyo ghoul, fallout, and a million other things. they had a monster energy collection. they had a million different hair colors. everyone who met them was lucky to do so and everyone who never got the chance missed out on someone incredible.
there’s lots i wish i could tell them. not a single day goes by without me wishing i could share something with them that i know they’d find funny or interesting. i think of them every single day. i have never missed anyone like i miss them. i wish i could tell them that the world is hard and it’s miserable but there are so many good things just around the corner, especially when you get away from your parents. i wish i could tell them that all they would have had to do is call me, and i would have been there in a second. but at the same time i think they knew that, and they made their choice. all i can hope now is that they knew how much i loved them, and how deeply they touched my life and changed me for the better, and how much i still love them.
and i know this is cheesy to add but to anyone else reading: please stay. i know the world is scary right now but the last thing we need is for you to go anywhere. there’s always something worth sticking around for and i promise you that your absence will be a wound that will never heal. love you