#fear tw

Trembling harshly, he forced himself back to the brunette’s side, stepping out of the way as he laid down. “I think we both just need to sleep, really.” He scooped the shrunken man up, frowning at the intense shivers wracking his form, and cupping him to his chest. He was a little too tired to worry about the other’s emotions, figuring he’d do damage control later on.

When he woke up, Dream was sleeping, finally relaxing for the first time since he’d been caught. He wasn’t going to wake him up, of course. He didn’t want to deal with the fearful reactions he’d no doubt have when awake; He still had quite a bit of recovering to do himself, and he didn’t have it in him to take on more emotional baggage when he still felt weak and starving. Keeping the tiny admin to his chest, he got up and carefully made his way to the kitchen to make something to eat.

Dream began to stir as George finished reheating a bowl of rabbit stew, eyes snapping open and tensing up as he was gently placed on the table. The bowl was set a little ways away, the human holding two spoons. “I- I could have gotten you something if you were hungry..” He gripped one of his arms tightly, trying to pull himself together. If they wanted him dead, he’d already be dead. He had to keep reminding himself of that. They weren’t Quackity, they weren’t torturing him or drawing it out. It didn’t stop the shivers wracking his form, or his heart hammering painfully against his sore rib cage.

“Rabbit stew isn’t hard to make. Besides, it’s leftovers. I think Tina made it.” Dipping a spoon into the bowl, he gathered a generous amount of the stew before pulling it back out and setting it in front of Dream. The shrunken admin scrambled back, eyes wide as he stared down at the spilt broth. “What-“ “You need to eat too. Obviously you were starving.” Dream flinched harshly at the comment, sitting where he was and dipping his head down. With a sigh, George carefully nudged the spoon closer to the man. “It’s not poisoned, or whatever you’re thinking. Look.” He dipped his own spoon into the bowl, scooping up a similar amount he’d given Dream before popping it into his mouth.

“See? Not poisonous. I'd be taking damage if it was.” With that being said, he continued to eat, taking his attention off of the other. He knew Dream wouldn’t run. It didn’t stop the speedrunner from running through his head, however. The small form in front of him was Dream, through and through, but at the same time it wasn’t. This wasn’t his friend. This wasn’t the man who he’d joked around and playfully fought with. This wasn’t the man who had put him on the throne and then removed him without hesitation. This wasn’t the fearless, determined Dream he remembered. And it bothered him greatly.

~ ~ ~

Slowly, very very slowly, but surely, Dream was coming back to him. He stopped teasing the blonde, only asking necessary questions to keep him calm. He let Dream make the first, shaky, nervous jab, and he made sure not to react badly to it. The relief he felt from watching Dream’s shoulders drop so abruptly was almost euphoric, and he was sure to text Sapnap about the progress he made. He didn’t know how the fireborn felt about the other, his expression and movements unreadable every time he visited. He knew it intimidated Dream, and it was likely the point, but it didn’t make George feel any better about it.

After that initial jab, Dream loosened up significantly, and within a week it was like before. Granted, Dream was still tiny, and George still carried him to and from places and ensured he stayed hidden, but the two were on better terms. At least he wasn’t shying away anymore. He’d even started hanging out with George while he cooked, granted a little ways away from the stove.

At least, until it all came to an abrupt end. The two were laughing, Dream moving to lean against the mug beside him to catch his breath before yelping in surprise as the mug slid right off the counter, almost taking him with it. Collapsing onto the counter, he froze completely as the ceramic dish shattered on the floor, George backing up out of instinct. “Oh, shoot.” He mumbled, turning away to find a broom to sweep it up.

Dream stared at the shattered mug, eyes clouding over with fear. He’d messed up. He stepped out of line, he ruined everything, Sapnap was gonna kill him- he could only watch as George returned, sweeping up the broken pieces and tossing them in the trash. He hadn’t noticed how Dream had not gotten back up until he put the broom and dustpan away, deciding it would be safer to go hang out in the living room until the bread was done baking.

He recoiled harshly at the offered hand, and it was only then that he noticed how the blonde was acting off. “Dream..? What’s going on?” Don’t answer, don’t make it worse on yourself- “Dream!?” George was worrying, the tiny man’s chest was heaving as he hyperventilated, and his mouth was twisted shut, likely to keep anything from escaping. Trying to get a closer look at him made him recoil again, and this time he noticed the glazed over, fearful look in his eyes.

“Oh...” He brought his hands up, wincing when the other flinched, carefully scooping him into the middle of both palms. “Shh, Dream. You’re okay. It’s okay..” he kept his hands as steady as possible as he moved them to the living room, sitting on the sofa and bringing him to his chest as he moved the fearful tiny to only one hand. His other hand fumbled to get his communicator, sending a quick message to Sapnap before shutting it off and tossing it away.

“Dream, you gotta breathe, okay? Breathe with me.” He ran his thumb up and down the tiny admin’s back, trying to sooth him. “Please..” he whimpered, and George froze. “Please what, Dream?” “Please make it quick-“ he failed to choke back a sob, and that had dissolved the last of his resolve. He sobbed fearfully into the brunette’s shirt, barely pulling in a breath before another cry jerked his chest.

Sapnap had quietly entered, closing the door with barely a click and heading straight towards the sofa. “What’s going on?” “I don’t know, we were just hanging out in the kitchen and then he just started panicking. I mean, a mug fell, maybe the noise scared him?” The fireborn frowned, reaching out to take the shrunken man from him, but pulled back harshly when Dream shrieked. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please, I’ll do better, it won't happen again, please-“ “Dream, what are you talking about?” Sapnap’s voice stayed calm, quiet, like how he remembers him speaking to Karl when he was having memory problems.

“Please don’t hurt me..” George winced, and Sapnap’s frown grew larger at the comment. “Dream, tell me what happened.” The brunette went to mention that the blonde had only started shaking worse at the demand, but Dream had beaten him to speaking. “We- we were making bread, and George put it in the oven, and we were laughing about something, and then I-I tried to lean against a cup and it fell and I ruined it, I just don’t want to die I’m sorry-“ “Dream, take a deep breath in.”

He didn’t speak again until Dream had managed to do so. “Alright, breathe out.” He waited until the other let out a shuddery breath, then repeated the process. George counted up to fifteen times before Sapnap felt confident enough to stop, Dream breathing normally on his own. “Right, so you accidentally knocked a mug over. Why would you think we’d kill you for that?” “You said.. you said if I messed up you’d kill me.” The fireborn’s brow quirked at the sentence, sadness clouding his eyes. “Yeah? I also said I’d kill you if you escaped. Has it happened?” “No, but-“ “I’m not gonna kill you over an accident.” “He would have..” he whimpered, ducking away when Sapnap blinked. “Who?” “Q-Quackity..”

As if the mere mention of the man summoned him, there was a knock at the door. Carefully passing Dream back to George, Sapnap went to answer it, keeping his expression blank when he came face to face with his ex-fiancé as it opened. “Sapnap.” “Quackity.” He could hear George get up, walking towards the stairs. “What brings you two here?” “Looking for Dream still. What else?” “Geez, it’s like your whole life revolves around him now.” He tried to joke, but the look souring on the avian’s face told him it didn’t land. “Even if it did, whose fault would that be?” And then the man was trying to push past him, and he put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back a step.

“Let me at least tell George you’re here, he doesn’t do well with surprise visits, especially since he’s sick.” Quackity’s eye narrowed, but he relented. “One minute, Sapnap.” He nodded and closed the door in the duo’s faces, making a beeline to the stairs and up to George’s room. He found the two huddled under the covers of his bed, looking up at him with fear before recognizing him. “We need to hide him.” George whispered. “No time.” Sapnap whispered back, carefully pulling the shrunken man out of the brunette’s grasp. A confused look met him, but he shook his head. “Trust me.”

And then he popped the other in his mouth and George shot up like a bullet, intent on stopping him but the front door opened and he groaned, looking at the fireborn warily. When he held his hands up in a placating matter, nothing but concern in his eyes, he relented, leaving the room to go confront the others. Sapnap swallowed, deeming the other slick enough with his panicked movements, before joining them downstairs. He had to ignore the pangs in his heart while the other simply sobbed, not even trying to fight back.

He wasn’t in his stomach. Sapnap had a different anatomy than his human friends, and even if Dream had been safe in George’s stomach he wasn’t gonna risk it. He put the other in his storage pouch, a second hollow organ just to the side of his stomach. Dream was small enough that he would be completely unnoticeable.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he stayed at the edge of the living room, watching the tension between George and Quackity for a moment. The two were close enough to be in each other’s faces, throwing insults back and forth. Sam noticed Sapnap first, and gave Quackity a nudge. Quackity turned his glare to him, then to where Sam nodded at, before turning back to George with a huff. “If you’re not hiding him, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Without a word more, he entered the house more, beginning his search. Sam awkwardly joined, and George went to Sapnap’s side and threw his head against his shoulder. Before the fireborn could get a quip in about what he’d walked into, the brunette growled into his shirt. “If he isn’t safe, I swear to prime Sapnap-“ Resting his head atop George’s, he whispered back. “He is.” The tension oozed out of the Brit, and it took a lot to keep his tense and annoyed look up as the prison guards brushed past them to search the rest of his house.

“How are you certain?” “Wait until they leave.” Sapnap didn’t raise his voice above a whisper, even though the duo that had broken in had already finished climbing the stairs. “What makes them think he’s here anyway?” He then raised his voice, trying to make it seem like they were simply complaining and not scheming for being too quiet. “It’s me, Sapnap. What do you think?” “Maybe if you didn’t flirt with him so often-“ “Oh, fuck off with that, Sap. I don’t wanna hear it right now.” The anger seemed genuine, so Sapnap relented with a soft apology. A smile graced the brunette’s face. “Just playing along.” He whispered back.

Sapnap was going to say something more, but was abruptly cut off by a shout from upstairs. “That little shit!” Before either of them could do anything, worried they’d seen something of the shrunken man’s, Quackity stormed past them and out of the house, Sam in tow with a determined look in his eye. The two could only stare at the ajar door for a moment, shock settling in. Finally, George snapped out of it, moving to close the door. “Dream?” Sapnap asked, moving a hand to his stomach and gently pressing in. “I.. sent them a text. Told them I could see them through George’s window.” He smirked at the response. “Good thinking. You ready to come up?” “I guess.. I’m just-“ he cut himself off, thinking how to phrase his question.

“Just..?” He prompted the other. “Are.. you okay? Your stomach hasn’t done anything since you ate me. I thought,” he laughed bitterly, tears falling once more. “I thought you were trying to kill me.” “Sorry, Dream. I wasn’t gonna hurt you, I just didn’t have time to explain. They were at the door and already pushing into the house, we had to be fast or you were gonna get found.” “Right, but is your stomach okay?” “My stomach’s fine. You’re not in my stomach.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” George was in disbelief, and Sapnap smiled. “Let me bring Dream up, and I’ll explain.”

~ ~ ~

With Dream wrapped up in a soft washcloth after being rinsed off, the trio returned to the couch. “So, I’m not human. You guys already know that.” “Yeah?” Dream looked over the hands cradling him, nodding at the fireborn. “My biology’s different from humans, it’s better suited for the nether. Me and Bad both. So we have this pouch that we can store stuff in. Bad used to use it for me when we still lived in the nether, but most people use it to keep their treasure from melting.”

“And it’s.. safe?” “Attached to airways, closed off from everything else, except my throat.” Sapnap shrugged. “I know it’s weird, and I didn’t mean to scare you guys that bad. But..” his eyes trailed back to the door.

“I don’t know what Quackity’s done to you, Dream. Just based on your reaction to the mug earlier, I can tell it was bad. Besides,” he chuckled humorously. “I couldn’t kill you even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. It’s not like you can do much damage like this, and we still don’t know how it happened.” “Oh. I, uh, did this. I messed with my code, I just had to get out of there, I was so sure he was going to kill me that last time and-“ His breathing had begun to stutter, a small tremble rising back up in the shrunken form.

“It’s okay, Dream. I’m not gonna let him get you again.” “You mean we, George.” Sapnap reached a hand out, keeping it distant from the smaller but close enough that he could see the intention. “But.. he’s your fiancé..” “He ditched us. Well, I guess he didn’t mean to, but he and Karl got into it pretty bad. He hasn’t been the same since El Rapids, honestly.” He sighed. “Oh.. I’m sorry, Sap.” The fireborn simply shrugged. “Nothing I can do about it now. My home’s here, and whatever he’s done to you makes me wonder what all he’s been up to anyway. Clearly, it can’t be good.”

“What do you mean, you can’t kill me?” Dream’s brows had furrowed, the sentence lingering on his mind. “I.. don’t think I can answer that. Not without getting smited or something.” “Oh..” “And like I said earlier, that was if I wanted to. I don’t wanna kill you, Dream. You did some fucked up shit, yea, but you’re still my friend. Plus, I trust you’ve probably learned your lesson..” he grimaced as he said it, and Dream nodded grimly. “More than enough, yea. It’s not like I was gonna leave the kid dead anyway, there was a reason I was keeping the revival book. Besides, I don’t wanna be anywhere near him. Not at normal height, if I can even undo this code change, and absolutely not at this size.”

“That’s a fair point.” George mused, gently brushing the blonde’s hair with a finger. “He can’t do much if there’s nothing for him to fight against. He’ll keep bothering people, but I think the rest of us know not to react cause that’s what he wants.” “Easy for you to say, it’s not your world that was getting messed up or your friends- never mind.” “What? Dream, what were you gonna say?” George prompted, but gently, and kept his movements going to show he wasn’t bothered, just curious.

“I.. was just gonna say it wasn’t your friends getting tormented by that little gremlin but that’s kinda silly to say.” Dream looked down sheepishly. “Since a lot of them are your friends.” “That’s fair, but you also have a point. I’m not an admin, I can’t control anything that happens in this world. I can only imagine how stressed that makes you, you’re the only one.. aren’t you?” “There’s not many others, I think.. maybe two.” “Then, yea. You’re essentially running the world yourself, of course you’re gonna get bothered if someone starts messing with it.”

“Wait.” Sapnap interrupted the conversation, mind stuck on the ‘if’ Dream had mentioned. “You don’t know if you can undo this?” “I don’t. I’ve never done anything like this before, Sapnap.” The implication of that sunk in heavily, and a feeling akin to dread crept up his spine. Dream could be stuck tiny forever. He was already at risk, but it morphed to danger as soon as he’d shrunk. And he could be in danger for the rest of his life. George had a similar look in his eyes, and his hands only tightened around the other.

“Then we’ll make the most of it.” He looked at Sapnap, and the worry in his eyes steeled his resolve. “We will. We’ll do our best to get you back to your normal size, but if we can’t, then we’re not gonna let it stop us from having fun.”

He grinned down at the smaller man, determination flooding his body at the hesitant, hopeful grin he got back from the smaller man. “We’re gonna make the most of it.”

Small bonus:

Dream was shivering when Sapnap woke up, the brunette beside him still dead asleep. “Dream?” He whispered carefully. “Sorry, I’m freezing…” he answered softly, tiredly. The fireborn frowned. It was pretty cold outside, with it being winter. He gently scooped the other up, bringing him up towards his neck. “Is that better?” “A little.. thank you.” With a soft smile, Sapnap had started to drift back to sleep, only to be stirred awake once more by a small voice.

“It’d be a lot warmer in his pouch..” It was obviously not meant for him to hear, more so just Dream mumbling to himself, but it didn’t go unheard. “We can do that if you want. Don’t wanna scare you again though.” Dream flinched, sitting back up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-“ “I sleep lightly, Dream. It’s okay.” He didn’t say anything more, letting the smaller man think about the offer. “Well.. it’s not like I don’t know it’s safe..” the fireborn hummed softly. “I’d like a definite answer, though. I don’t want to scare you.” Dream didn’t think about it for much longer. “Yeah. We can do that if you’re okay with it.”

There’s a sharp knock at her bedroom door. Startled out of her spiraling thoughts, Cady stands and crosses the room, easing the door open to see Janaysia standing in the hall. 

“So…apparently you forgot to tell us you had company coming over?” Her housemate raises an eyebrow at her, as if she doesn’t quite believe the situation. 

Her mouth opens and shuts again, eyebrow furrowed in confusion and dread beginning to grow in her stomach. It wouldn’t be him. He wouldn’t dare come here like this, not when he’s so adamant that no one ever finds out. But…it has to have something to do with him, right? Because she certainly didn’t invite anyone over. Everything in her life seems to be connected to him.

She shakes her head no, adamantly, but Janaysia just sighs and smiles. “It’s okay, it’s no big deal. We haven’t started cooking dinner yet, so we can just make a little more. Unless you guys were planning to go out…?”

Cadence shakes her head even harder. The dread has expanded up into her chest and is crawling toward her throat. She steps back into the room, reaching for her notebook, but Janaysia steps away, too. 

“Don’t worry about it, just come on so Devin doesn’t have to keep making awkward conversation with a stranger! You can explain it to us later.”

She feels like she’s choking the whole way down the hall. Every inch of her wants to turn and run back to the safety of her bedroom, to grab Janaysia’s arm and plead with her to keep her safe, to not make her go out there, but she just keeps in step, body moving robotically just like it does with him.

Somewhere in her gut, she knows. No matter how much her brain tries to drown it out with protests of how it can’t be, he wouldn’t, she still knows. 

But nothing can prepare her for walking around the corner and seeing him. In their living room. Sitting on their couch. Chatting casually with one of her best friends, like he’s just a normal guy who can do normal things like that. 

All of the blood drains from Cadence’s face, and she stops moving, staring at him with blurred vision. Whatever words are being spoken are so far away she can’t hear them. All she knows is him, in their living room, on their couch.

Until he looks her way, smiling that smile that she sees in her nightmares. Her mind immediately zeroes in on his words to her, unable to risk missing anything. 

“Ah, Cadence, there you are. I guess it…slipped your mind, that you invited me over tonight?”

He’s here. He’s here. He’s here. Why? What does it mean, what is he going to do?

She nods, numb, not knowing what else to do but agree.

“Wait, is…Cady short for…Cadence?” Janaysia’s looking at her all wide-eyed and fascinated and she wants to scream, to tell them no, they can’t know about that, they can’t know about him, but it’s far too late for that because he’s right there, sitting on their couch.

“Oh, right, my bad.” He chuckles, waving a hand. “I keep forgetting she goes by that now. She’ll always be Cadence to me, I’m afraid.”

Devin smiles at her. “Oliver was just telling me -” he shouldn’t be saying his name so casually like that, it isn’t right -“a little about how the two of you met, back in college.”

College? It wasn’t college, it was after that, but that must be his cover story. She has to remember that, to make sure she doesn’t slip up and say the wrong thing and mess it all up.

Assuming they all make it past this night with secrets still intact. They have to. Her friends’ lives depend on it.

“It’s a shame we lost touch after a while, but I’m so glad I ran into her again recently.”

“Was that…at the birthday party?” Janaysia is too smart for all of this. She’s already starting to put a few pieces together, and if this continues she might put together more. Cadence has to play her part, she can’t let her find out. But she can’t make herself move, there’s no way that she can act anywhere near normal with him in the room. When he’s here, she has to be still and be quiet and wait for him to tell her what to do. She can’t act like herself. 

She isn’t even sure she knows what that means anymore, anyway.

“Right! At Devin’s birthday party. So sorry for stealing her away, by the way, we just had so much catching up to do.”

Janaysia’s smile says that she’s still a little miffed about the whole thing. “Well, next time a little heads up would be nice before she just disappears, we were definitely worried! But no real harm done, in the end.”

She could almost laugh aloud at that, if she wasn’t frozen in place and could remember how. There had been plenty of harm done. But they could never, ever know about it.

“Well.” Devin slaps his hands down onto his thighs, then stands. “I’m gonna go get started on dinner, and let you two visit.”

Cadence startles, eyes darting to both her friends before zoning in on the floor. Don’t leave me don’t leave me please don’t leave me. Except that she doesn’t want them here, either. They don’t need to be anywhere near him, they need to run, to go far far away where he can’t get to them. But if they leave, he’ll be free to do whatever he wants to her. As long as they’re in the room, he’s leaving her alone.

“Yep, I’ll come help you. Any, uh…food allergies, Oliver?”

He smiles brilliantly at Janaysia. “None at all, thank you for asking.”

“Alright, perfect.” She turns to leave, but looks at Cadence first, brow furrowing in concern. “You okay?” she asks softly.

All she can do is nod. It isn’t anywhere near convincing, but she can’t even force a smile or look her in the eye.

But apparently Janaysia reads her emotions as something completely different, anyway. She reaches out and squeezes her arm gently, leaning in. “Don’t be nervous, he obviously likes you. Also…he is hot, just saying.” With a quiet laugh, she walks into the adjoining kitchen with Devin. A couple of seconds later, she reappears with Cadence’s dry erase board, handing it over with another smile before leaving again. 

Her gaze slides up until it finds his, boring into her with all its usual intensity, and quickly drops back down. Her pulse is pounding in her ears. She grips the dry erase marker too tightly, the hard plastic digging into the bones of her fingers, as her breath stutters in and out of her closed-over throat. 

“Come sit down, Cadence.”

“The Apprentice Lives.”

The Darkness was all encompassing, aching and freezing in a way that hurt just enough to be familiar. Ahsoka Tano was no stranger to the dark side, had been fighting it since the day she stepped off that transport on Christophis, almost three decades before. The familiarity hurt; the feeling of an older brother, a mentor, a guardian, someone who she should have known being so warped and twisted, probing the bonds of a thread of the force and soaking the severed light in his darkness. 

Ahsoka could hear her own screams echoing through her montrals, the overwhelming suffocation bringing a whited out dizziness that had her falling backwards. Consciousness slipped away to the sound of her name being called and arms grabbing her from behind, plunging her in the darkness of that bond and the memories of the man who had taught her everything she knew. 

Ahsoka woke to a cool hand against her forehead and a broad chest at her back, head supported by a light armored shoulder. “Ahsoka?” Kanan sounded worried, like he had on the ship, settled behind her exactly as he’d been when she fell. 

“Are you alright?” Hera came next, a cold, damp cloth in her hand that had been wiping away dried sweat and the remnants of tears. Pushing herself up and off of Kanan’s support, his hands following hesitantly, Ahsoka managed to sit up on her own and rest her head in her hands, knuckles pressing in between her eyes to rub away the headache. 

“I.. yes, I’m alright, thank you,” Fulcrum pieced herself back together as quickly as her shields would allow, muscles aching from the weight pressing in all around her. 

“Do you need a minute?” Hera’s hand on her shoulder was gentle, she hadn’t been treated like something so fragile since before the clone wars, and it certainly wasn’t something she wanted to dwell on. 

“Yes, please,” The Togruta shifted the Twi’lek’s and human’s hands from her arms, pushing herself up on protesting muscles. To cover the trembling at the tips of her fingers, the woman crossed her arms over her chest and cleared her throat. “Could I take a moment alone? I need to gather my thoughts before speaking to Ezra.”

Hera watched the woman with worry, but nodded her head anyways- Ahsoka never gave her a reason to distrust her judgment on anything, and if anyone knew what she needed, it had to be herself, right? “Come on,” Her hand brushed Kanan’s shoulder as he watched the taller woman, brows furrowed as he bit his tongue, clearly wanting to say something. 

Sighing, he turned to the door to follow Hera, second guessing as the door slid open and turning his head back to the woman as she lowered herself into a seat. “Ahsoka?” Waiting until piercing eyes settled back on him, his hand moved to rest on the open door frame. “Trust goes both ways.” 

The door slid shut behind him, trapping Ahsoka in the idly noises of space; the quiet sounds of machines beeping, steel creaking, and her own breathing. Her shoulders slumped the moment she was sure she was alone, the pressure finally caving in around her until she was doubled over in the chair, feverish forehead pressed into her knees as her chest threatened to collapse. 

“Anakin,” She breathed, for the first time in years, fingers pulling and stretching at the fabric of her leggings, nails pressing into her calves at the response she received in the force, just like the day the Republic fell. 

“I Hate You!” His voice radiated so much anger, she could feel it poisoning her blood, poisoning her memory of the Master who’d given her her life back. “Ahsoka, I would never let anyone hurt you.” Was it a childish hope? Was it awful and horrible? What kind of person would it make her, to hope that her Master had died with the others, that the whispers were true; Anakin Skywalker died heroically, trying to save Jedi younglings from a new Sith, a name passed between contacts that had even her bravest of spies stepping away from it all. Darth Vader. 

But the… Thing in the shuttle, the darkness that pursued them, was so uniquely Anakin, in a way no other being in the galaxy could ever replicate. 

Kaeden had taught her breathing exercises, once upon a time; when finding the control to bleed her feelings out into the force came too much, when dizziness struck from the oxygen rushing into her lungs too fast and her vision swam with the effort of staying conscious. She’d seen it happen to clones so often during the war, but it had never become a problem for her until after everything was said and done. 

Her montrals itched with the sounds of her own breathing, unable to focus on the sounds outside the room, or the fleet on the other side of the transparisteel. Fulcrum managed a life where she’d never felt helpless, had become everything she’d needed and more, but she was still, and always would be; Ahsoka Tano, and Ahsoka needed more than Fulcrum could ever allow herself. 

“Make it stop,” She whispered to some unseen force, a child pleading for their Master to make the war end, to stop the suffering, to stop the galaxy as it tried to grind her bones to ash. “Please,” Who could she plead with, when the pressure closing in on her was a cosmic scale? What power could make the reality peeling the oxygen from her body merciful? 

She had to do it alone, it was safer for everyone. For Kanan, Hera, Ezra, Sabine, Zeb, Chopper, and every other lifeform who knew her as she was. Her legacy was one of death and destruction, it followed her everywhere she dared to go, but running… she couldn’t run from this, couldn’t run from the mechanized breathing in her nightmares each night. 

It was the reminder of necessity and the direness of the situation that had Ahsoka focusing her breathing, sucking in fiery breaths into her lungs, allowing each breath to ignite her blood, burning the poison away as she allowed the voices of her vode to echo. How Kix talked her through helping Fives through a panic attack after the loss of Echo, how Padmé had helped her through Anakin’s attacks after Zyggeria, and how Kaeden had helped her. Their voices combined in something comforting, and as her mind cleared, Fulcrum allowed herself to focus on the light their memory still carried in the cosmic force. 

Brushing away gathered tears, Fulcrum straightened until the cool material of the seat was against her back, shoulder blades pressing into the fabric as it warmed under her body heat. Ezra’s probing presence in the force grew near as the woman righted herself. Ezra’s description of the presence was enough to rattle the woman again, though she’d maintained herself rather well, considering… everything. Compartmentalizing the discussion and her personal feelings had the rest of the waking cycle passing by in a blur, passing information and deciding battle plans on autopilot, and pointedly ignoring the troubled looks from Ghost Crew’s ‘certified adults’. 

As Hera settled in to the open pilot’s chair beside her, Ahsoka allowed her attention to turn away from the vastness of the galaxy outside, from the sun’s light reflecting on the moons and planets below. Her head turned just in time to watch as the Twi’lek’s hand moved, hesitancy making her actions seem as if in slow motion. 

Ahsoka reached across the gap, closing her hand around Hera’s. Lightsaber calloused hands warm against the skilled hands of one of the Rebellion’s best pilots curled her fingers around her hand. When the door opened to reveal Kanan, Hera only turned her head to offer a welcoming smile. 

Silence stretched between the three survivors as Kanan settled into the seat behind Hera, Ahsoka could practically feel the gears turning in his brain. When he reached out at last, she turned her hand over, allowing him to cover Hera’s hand between them and for his fingertips to brush against her knuckles. “You’re right about trust, Kanan.” Ahsoka finally broke the silence, her other hand moving to cover his, if not for his sake, than to stop the way her fingers itched to fidget with the arm of her chair. “You have all given me more of your trust than I probably deserve,” 

“Ahsoka, no, that’s not-” Hera started, leaning forward to try and cut the Force sensitive off. 

“You deserve as much as I can tell you, both of you do… and I trust you.” I just hope it doesn’t get either of you killed. Inhaling slowly, Ahsoka squeezed both of their hands before releasing them to fold together neatly in her lap. “The sith lord we encountered was… familiar.” 

“Someone you knew before the war?” Hera’s brows furrowed as Kanan shifted to lean back in his seat, hand raising to scratch at his chin. 

“I believe so, yes. I don’t want to make any assumptions, on the chance I may be wrong, but it was familiar in a way that only one person had ever been… I think that’s all I’d like to say on it,” Her shoulders drooped again, a haunting feeling arching up her spine even as she allowed the name to stay in the shadows. 

“Ahsoka,” Kanan leaned forward again, Ahsoka couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “Is it..?”

“I don’t know…” Her teeth clenched together, muscles in her jaw spasming with the fight to keep her composure. If it wasn’t him, if she was wrong, then she would be ruining her Master’s memory, tainting the legacy of Anakin Skywalker and how good he really was. 

When Kanan’s hand settled on her knee, the weight grew. Ahsoka’s arm moved to cover her face as she turned away, hands clenched into fists. Hera moved first, rising from her seat and stepping into Ahsoka’s personal space. The Togruta’s arm was pushed away, the Twi’lek moving to stand between her legs as Hera’s arms wrapped around her, guiding her head onto her chest. Kanan was quick to follow suit, his hand covering Ahsoka’s shoulder where he settled, until Hera was guiding her to lean into him. 

With Ahsoka’s face hidden between Hera’s shoulder and Kanan’s stomach, hot tears once again spilled over, for the first time in over a decade, however, she was not alone in the sorrow. “Make it stop,” She gasped out again, muffled between the two rebel heroes. 

“In a heartbeat,” Hera promised, her hand smoothing down Ahsoka’s back lek, as Kanan soothed the twitching muscle beneath his hand, rubbing in slow circles. “We’ll do everything we can, Ahsoka.”

“And then some,” Kanan promised, head bowing to rest on the space between her montrals; Mandalorian in tradition, but carried across the battlefield by the clones that had meant so much to her, even with his own justified issues with everything that had to do with the brainwashed soldiers. 

“All we can do is hope,” Ahsoka’s arms finally moved, wrapping around  both Kanan and Hera, grounding herself to them, and the familiarity and comfort of the force extending out to her from the other Jedi.