Bundeslihaha - Ost
(Clubs from the former East Germany)
This was a highly ambitious undertaking, and I'm damn proud of it!
Notes under the cut (and are subject to change) :D (Edit 05.08.26: added close-ups!)
More personification lineups on this link!
warning: mentions of transphobia, nonbinary-phobia, slurs, and death (unrelated)
I didn't really think about eastern German clubs besides Union Berlin for "Freunde hinter Stacheldraht". But now, I'm far more interested in them! I thought it's an interesting tension between the disillusion that drives many in the former DDR into extremist/fascist ideology... the fans being like that, and the personification of their favourite clubs not being the "perfect" cis straight white guys that they probably expect.
Carl Zeiss Jena (until 2020) - she/her
Ah, Carl Zeiss Jena, the 2nd division women's club whose men's team is in an even lower division, but the fusion is so interesting to me that I had to make a design and story for her.
Being affiliated to the Zeiss optical company, of course I had to give her glasses. The cat's eye glasses is shaped like her crest somewhat. She has dark blue hair, almost black, and yellow eyes, like the club colors. To contrast the hourglass shaped Energie Cottbus (who also has yellow eyes), she has dark skin and a rectangle shaped body.
She dresses like it's the 1960s because it's just cool to me, no deep reason or anything.
She prefers to have short hair.
FF USV Jena (until 2020) - she/her
The women's club who fused with/was absorbed into Carl Zeiss Jena due to COVID-related financial problems, has been preparing herself to die. She made a will, advance directive, everything.
She wears a combination of flowers (a botanical marvel in the city, and Carl Zeiss Jena's symbol), plus the butterflies (symbolizing death and transformation). To contrast the atheist CZ Jena, FF USV is religious, specifically a hellenic polytheist. She has the inverted torch, which is a symbol of Thanatos.
Her hair is dark brown, but dyed/bleached a lighter brown. Her eyes are a purplish dark blue (purple crest, blue jersey). Her build is fatter and curvier than CZ because of the wider crest.
She dresses like it's the 2000s because it's just fun to me. Although I think it's rare for her to wear clothes that expose a lot of skin like this one. This is just her summer clothes. Otherwise she'd wear like a turtleneck under her top.
She likes growing her hair out really long.
Carl Zeiss Jena (2020-) - she/her
The fusion result combines both Jena traits, the nose is both wide and long, and a tall, curvy build. She has naturally dark brown hair (bleached and dyed silver) and light brown skin, with one eye being yellow and the other being blue. Still needs glasses though. B:P
Jena suddenly feels like she wants to grow out her hair like USV, but CZ's desire for short hair is still in her, too...
Hansa Rostock - he/they
Friendless Jerk Extraordinaire. Being queer and trying their best to deny it gives them constant tension in life.
Hansa's quite fashionable here because SC Freiburg and Borussia Dortmund have dressed him up for his dating endeavor xD Otherwise, he would've just worn a T-shirt and jeans and beanie, and even cover his face with an ultras-like mask, like in Alle Mann Over Board. Still hasn't got the will to take care of their curls, though. Tragic :(
Hansa Rostock and Energie Cottbus are both nonbinary (Rostock is agender/genderless, Cottbus is unlabeled/questioning) and androgynous (in the "minimalist" way, instead of the "maximalist" way that St. Pauli presents themself), and here they both even wear cross-shaped neckwear!
They are an extremely toxic pair who will not hesitate to call each other slurs. They often fight even when they're "dating"... I mean, being deeply in denial, so basically Hansa is like "I'm totally a real normal manly man" and Energie is like "I'm happy to be a woman I'm so cis and straight" even though Energie is also sort of sapphically connected to VfL Osnabrück.
Energie is probably one of Hansa's first pick for the "blindly dating all the 'girls' among personifications".
Hansa Rostock being genderless is basically him thinking, "clubs have no gender, so I don't have a gender either, but unlike those personifications, I accept being a man because I have a ~male body~. I accept if people use 'they/them' because that's what normal people call football teams" (author's note: They do not actually accept being a man... it is a big part of their unhappiness.)
Dynamo Dresden - he/him
Dynamo's hair is based on his crest, naturally. His fancy clothes is based on the Baroque and Rococo architecture in the city. Thank you to neonmice for the inspiration! The contrast between the punk hair and handsome outfit is a fun one ;D
He has an hourglass, broad-shouldered build, and red-gold eyes with gorgeous thick eyelashes, in contrast to the scrawny Hansa Rostock whose eyes are never visible.
Also he's a trans man because I want him to be trans. Also I want him to be super masculine in a pretty way.
Union Berlin - he/him
His style is inspired by "Queen of German Punk" and club-anthem singer Nina Hagen, with the knightly chainmail and morningstar from his mascot, Ritter Keule. He's androgynous to make him stand out amongst the other "Ossis".
Union is wearing green, white, and black piercings, which are the colors of Gladbach.
Bundeslihaha deep lore trivia: Union Berlin is naturally a brunet, as per "Freunde hinter Stacheldraht"! (Though other parts of that story will be changed for Loose Canon.) He bleaches his brown hair into an almost platinum blond.
1 FC Magdeburg - she/her
The brutal fans and brutalist city, inspired by neonmice also (much thanks to them), and also a feminine style as explained in the battle of the gay posse... Techwear is cute and sexy for her pear shaped build. And naturally, it's practical (lots of pockets to carry stuff!) The half-white and half-blue elements are based on her crest, of course. Her bangs are also M-shaped.
Magdeburg has piercings in yellow, blue, and red - the colors of the Axis of Evil (Braunschweig, Mannheim, Frankfurt).
Energie Cottbus - they/them
Energie Cottbus has curly hair because it's rare in the group (only Magdeburg has it), so yeah! The undercut and eyebrows has two cuts/lines just like their crest. Their eyes and hair is yellow/gold/blond because of the crest's laurels.
As discussed in the Hansa Rostock section, I want Energie (and Hansa) to be masculine-of-centre. Cottbus and Rostock do not pursue medical transition, they like their bodies the way they are. Well, except Cottbus is far more confident about it. Hansa on the other hand thinks he's not manly enough because of his sparse facial hair and thin build and other shit he hears from the "manosphere".
I thought Cottbus is a constantly questioning person, considering their fans are swinging between hardcore neo-nazism and trying to fight back against it, so their political views, gender, tastes, etc. is all over the place. They try to be kind and good, though it doesn't work so well at times with their explosive temper, their environment, and also hanging out with Mx. Hansa "wir kriegen euch alle" Rostock.
Cottbus also joins the unethical (but probably funny to the personifications xD) "What will Hansa Rostock come out as?" betting pool, and bets that they're going to come out as a trans woman. I thought it's an interesting idea that Hansa would judge Energie, not just for "failing" to be a woman, but also for "not going all the way" to be more masculine and distance themself from their assigned gender (e.g. wearing a binder, taking testosterone HRT, etc.) and Energie would think that Hansa is so cruel to them specifically because he's the one who "wants to go all the way". (Because transphobia makes no sense.)
To contrast the also-yellow eyed CZ Jena, Energie has light skin. And also, they have an hourglass build like Dynamo Dresden.
Turbine Potsdam - she/her
She dresses like a "normie" modern femme, though sometimes she dabbles in having blue hair like in To Be Perfectly Frankfurt and her photocard. The stars are from her crest, and the film belt and clapper earrings shoutout the Filmspark Babelsberg and her interest in filmmaking.
