"Hey! Do you eavesdrop my phone calls?"

She shrugs her shoulders.

"What can I do if I also stay awake till late and the walls are so thin?"

You are blushing a deep tone of red, but you decide pretending you aren't is a good idea.

"Anyways! I've gotta see Youngbin!"

"So you are really going to see him, huh?"

"Stop laughing! I will," you cross your arms across your chest. "Is that a crime?"

"In no way. Please, go see your Binnie," she smirks.

Shit.

"Yes, I will!"

You leave the house and enter your car, a smile lurking through your lips. Your sister could be a little annoying, but the teasing didn't bother you that much if you were being honest with yourself. No, it would be impossible. You have been just too happy the last couple of months to really care. Heck, you couldn't even remember a happiness bigger than the one you were living with everyday now.

You speed up, humming a feel good song as you navigate through the city streets. Soon, you put your phone on the speaker and call Youngbin. Silence.

Weird. He always picks up right away... You call him again, and he finally answers on your third or fourth try.

"Binnie, why didn't you answer?" you chuckle and smile to yourself. "Anyways, let's hang out today? I'm already on my—"

"Y/N," he cuts you, his voice tense. "Today is not a good day for that. Go back home," and then he hangs up.

What? Kim Youngbin never hangs up on anybody. Ever.

You dial his number again.

"What?!" he asks annoyed. "I'm in no humor to put up with you right now. Give me a fucking break!"

And then he hangs up again.

You come back home holding your tears. You are very, very hurt, but above all, you are confused. You have never seen Youngbin be rude to anyone before, let alone you. What was going on?

You enter the house being as silent as you can so not to bring any attention to yourself and lock yourself in your room. You pick your phone and dial Dawon's number, Youngbin's friend and also coworker.

"Hello, Y/N?" he says as he picks up.

"Hey, Dawon."

The phone goes silence for a few seconds.

"Are you alright? Your voice sounds shaky..."

"To be honest, I'm not, Dawon," you sight, trying to keep your voice stable this time. "Youngbin has just been weird. Do you know if anything is going on with him?"

"Oh," you hear him say, his tone not as bright as usual. "I know what it is."

"You do?!" you hold tight onto the phone, as if doing so is going to bring the answer sooner to you.

"Yeah," he confirms. "Today Youngbin hyung got fired, Y/N. Didn't he tell you?"

"F-Fired? He didn't say a word..."

Dawon sights.

"Yeah, he was. They substituted him with someone younger and with a 'fresher outlook'," he explains in a sad voice. "He wasn't the one who told me, though. It was all gossip. Everyone in the office would only talk about this this afternoon."

You look at the window with a frown in your face, thinking about how your boyfriend must be feeling right now.

"Thanks, Dawon. I'll figure something out."

In the next afternoon, you go to Youngbin's apartment and come in using the extra key he keeps under the rug. You are someone who absolutely sucks in the kitchen, but you think it is worth it trying to make a few sandwiches, right? At least you know you can't burn them.

The sun is already setting when you finally hear the door being opened. You go hide in the bedroom right away, peeking through the slightly opened door.

Youngbin enters the apartment wearing a suit, his expression tired. He has probably spent the whole day looking for a job, but you don't know with how much luck. You see him going to the joint kitchen and hold your breath. He makes a surprised face as he sees the sandwiches and the juice jar carefully organized over the white towel on the small wooden table.

"How—" he blinks confused, but doesn't take long to devour everything. Wow, he was probably very hungry. You wonder if he has even had lunch today.

The man goes to the bathroom and closes the door, and you hear the sound of water flowing a few moments after. You leave his room at this moment and go back to the kitchen, where you wait. It is almost torture having to sit still like that, but you do it.

When Youngbin finally emerges from the small corridor, he looks confused at the living room, and you wouldn't really expect something different. He is wearing the clothes you had separated and put over his bed, a comfortable set of sweatshirts and sweatpants. There's no way he's not weirded out by now.

You sight, afraid of his reaction, but you don't give yourself time to hesitate. You walk silently to him and hug him from behind.

"Binnie," you sweetly say to him.

"Ah!" he turns to you, expression completely shocked. "Y/N? What are you—"

You hug him again, this time facing him. You hold him tight, your arms around his waist.

"Don't say anything. I've came to cheer you up, okay?" you whisper to him and take a step back. "Go sit on the sofa. I'm going to make you some popcorn and—"

Youngbin pulls you by the waist to a warm hug.

"You don't say anything," he whispers softly. "Don't take care of me like you have done something wrong. You haven't. I have."

You say nothing. You simply didn't know how to answer.

Youngbin caresses your hair.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm the worst boyfriend ever."

"No, you were just stressed out that day, baby. That's it."

"That's no excuse, Y/N," he lets go of the hug and places his hands on your shoulders, his eyes looking deeply into yours. "I'm sorry," he repeats. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you, for what I've said... Put up with you?! Never! You are not a burden, you're a blessing! And if anything, you are the one who has to put up with this idiotic me, the one who needs to have a break," once again, you hold him tight against you. "I-I love you, Y/N, and I don't want to ever lose you," he lets one of his hands touch your face. "Can you forgive me?"

You smile and delicately dry the tears in his eyes with your fingers.

"I already have."

Youngbin gives you a kiss on the forehead and intertwines your fingers together.

"What about we make that popcorn? I'll watch whatever movie you want."

You laugh, heart now beating lightly in your chest.

"Alright. But now that you've said it, you can't go back on your word, okay?"

He smiles and places an arm over your shoulders.

Your boyfriend sniffed.

"Can I come in?"

You pressed your lips together, noticing for the first time the tears in his eyes. You wasted no time then.

"Of course!"

You helped him get in and then closed the window again. You took him by the hand, making him sit on your bed, you by his side.

"Did something happen, Young?"

He sniffed again, looking away.

"They've done it again, Y/N."

You froze. You knew very well how Youngkyun's parents could be harsh, even mean to him. You took his hand in yours, holding it tightly.

"What happened?"

"They... they've said I'm a waste of space. Useless. That if I wasn't born they'd be in much better shape," the boy shook his head. "That they could've even been able to own a decent house if I wasn't there to ruin their lives," tears were running down his face nonstop and you could do nothing but look. Your heart felt like ripping apart.

"Youngkyun," you said. "Look at me," he did, his eyes visibly moist even in the dim light. You took his face in your hands. "You are important. You are special. You are worth it. Do you get it?" he tried looking away once more, but you didn't let his face go. "Don't let them get to you," you said, your voice a little softer now.

"It's just... it's so hard!"

"I know, I know," you let your fingers run through his eyes, drying them little by little. "They're unhappy, you know? But not because of you," you told him. "Your parents are miserable because of their own decisions and you've got nothing to do with that."

"I'm not sure about that..."

"Young," you got closer to him, your faces now only a few inches apart. "Think about the people you've met outside of your house. Think about all your friends, everybody who loves you, me included. We love you because you deserve to be loved, uh?" you pressed a delicate kiss in each of his crying eyes. "You do. You are amazing and I wouldn't want any one else to be by my side other them you."

Youngkyun started crying even more, but this time it was different. He really did seem to get how wonderful of a human being he was, how much he was loved by you and all your friends. He hugged you tightly and you did the same in return, giving him little pats in the back every few seconds.

"It's alright, it's alright."

You have no idea how many minutes you spent in that position, but at the end you were both calmer and warmer in each other companies. After a long time, Youngkyun let go of you and sat with his back against the wall.

"Come here," he said.

You let a small smile spread in your face and did as he said, sitting between his legs and letting your back rest against his chest. He kissed you briefly on the lips and put his arms around you.

"Thank you for always being here for me."

You looked up, sleepness threatening to take you away any time.

"I'm the one who has to thank you for having you in my life."

Your boyfriend chuckled, eyelids feeling as heavy as yours.

"Let's just agree to us both thankful."

You smiled and looked at him for the last time before closing your eyes for good.

"Alright then. Let's agree to that."

The sound of the door opening made you whimper. You didn't want to wake up, you were just too comfortable for that.

"Y/N, did you see the... what the hell?!"

You opened your eyes, seeing your mom at the door.

"I don't-" you stopped mid-sentence, remembering that Youngkyun was still with you. "Oh," you nudged him slightly and he woke up as well.

Hearing the commotion, your father and younger sister ran into the room, expressions as confused as your mother's at seeing the boy in your bed.

"Guys," you chuckled lightly. "This is my boyfriend, Youngkyun."

You explained the situation to your parents and twenty minutes later you were all having breakfast at the kitchen. To be honest, your parents knew you had a boyfriend, but they've never really taken it seriously. They've always thought it was just a silly high school romance with no real seriousness at all. Well, looking at the way you and Youngkyun looked and took care of each other, they seemed to have changed their mind now.

"You can come whenever you like," your father told your boyfriend.

"Yeah," your mom agreed. "Think of here as your home."

"Thank you so much," he answered shyly and when he looked back at you, you smiled. Without words, you told him this place was in fact his home. He chuckled. "You are."

The smile you gave him in return was so large you thought the corners of your mouths could rip apart. And you didn't care one bit.

"What did you say?" your mother asked.

"Don't worry about it," you told her with a grin and kept eating.

“You still haven’t had a boyfriend yet?” - “But you’ve been on dates before, right?” - “Didn’t you confess to someone a while back?” - “And you got turned down?” - “So you haven’t… you know… done it yet either?” - “You’re still a virgin...?”

The things they said to you are still ringing in your head as if it had been just a few hours ago. Frankly speaking, it hasn’t been long since your friends found out about your very dry love life and everyone decided to giggle about you not having any romantic or sexual experience. Honestly, it’s not like you don’t want to experience these things, but you’ve just never had the chance. People have just never been interested in you. And the fact that all your friends made you feel like being inexperienced is something shameful just feeds into your bad and embarrassed mood. Well, all of them except one.

You wouldn’t have expected Sanghyuk, the guy who’s been with more women than you can count on both your hands, to be the one to comfort you. He was the one who told everyone to shut up because it’s none of their business, and he’s the one in whose room you are right now, clutching a pillow he handed you tightly in your arms and on the verge of crying.

“Am I really the only one?” you ask, not looking at him directly. “Am I really the only one who hasn’t had sex yet at my age?”

“I’m sure there’s others too. You can’t be the only one,” he tries to assure you.

“But they’re sure acting like I am. I haven’t even properly seen a guy naked yet.”

“And that’s okay.”

“But I’m not okay with it!” you talk back. “It’s not like I don’t want to, I just…”

“You just…?” he repeats, a questioning expression on his face.

“…I don’t really… have someone to do those kinds of things with.” You bury your face in your pillow and you hear him sigh. The rustling of his blanket tells you he got up from where he was sitting and when you lift your head you see him kneeling down in front of you. Even though he can’t possibly know how it feels to be in your position, you find understanding in his eyes.

“It can’t be helped right now. Maybe you should just try to accept it and see if you can get a boyfriend sometime soon?” he suggests, but you shake your head. You know he’s right, but you’re tired of waiting. And an admittedly stupid idea just crossed your thoughts.

“Well what about you then?”

“Me? What do you mean?”

“You’ve slept with so many girls already, it doesn’t really matter if it’s one more or less, does it?” He looks at you in disbelief for a few seconds. Then he starts awkwardly laughing, scratching the back of his head.

“I mean… you’re probably right, but…”

“But? You don’t want me? I’m not attractive enough? I’m undateable even for you?” you scoff, your tone growing more bitter by the syllable.

“Th-that’s not it,” Sanghyuk stammers. “But I thought we’re just friends.”

“Well we are. But friends can do each other a favour, can’t they? I’m not telling you to be my boyfriend…” you say.

“Look,” he sighs, the air around him feeling serious all of a sudden, “I might make it seem like it, but sleeping with someone isn’t something you just do. I mean, sometimes it is, but it can be a pretty emotional experience, you know?”

“Your point being?”

“I mean…” he looks around the room, obviously at a loss for words. “I… can’t explain it to you. You’ll have to feel it for yourself to fully understand it.” You shoot him a prompting look. “What?” he asks, but you don’t answer, because you’re sure he already knows what you’re trying to convey. And when he sighs and continues speaking you’re certain he got your message. “Do you want me… to show you?”

You nod.

“Are you sure about this?”

You nod again.

“If you feel uncomfortable at any point, I want you to tell me right away.”

“Shut up and do it,” you say. With a slight worry in his eyes he nods, directing his attention to your lips. He puts his hand on yours while you’re still hugging the pillow, and you let him loosen your grip and relax your arms. Leading his hand up to your shoulder and behind your neck, he leans in to place a feathery kiss on your lips. Withdrawing an inch or two, he checks for your reaction, and when you close your eyes it takes but a second until you feel his soft lips on yours again, this time pressing them against your mouth with more force. A tingly sensation runs down your whole body, from your head to the tips of your toes, when his lips start moving on yours, and it doesn’t take long for you to join the rhythm and kiss him back. Soon enough, he pulls away to allow both of you to catch a breath.

“That was my first kiss,” you admit silently.

“Is it really okay for me to take that?” he responds, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Honestly, I stopped caring about that long ago. But…” you pause for a moment, “it was with someone I trust, so that’s nice I guess.” A smile appears on his face along with a slight blush on his cheeks, and he leans in again to give you another gentle kiss.

You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing in this position when his hands find their way under your shirt, soon pulling it over your head in one swift movement. If it’s with him, you realize you’re fine even if he touches places you’re secretly insecure about. Instead of worrying, you just enjoy the sensation of his fingertips against your warm skin, and his lips against your own. Before long, he picks you up off the floor to place you onto his bed, and before he gets in as well to hover over you, he pulls off his own shirt, giving you full view of his trained upper body and his tattoos that you’ve never really seen before up close. Straddling you under him and reconnecting your lips more hungrily than before, you put your hands on his chest and let them glide up to his shoulders and behind his neck, feeling his smooth skin on your palms. A moan escapes you when he starts nibbling on your lower lip, but that only seems to make him want more. You feel him running his hand down your upper body, from your chest to below your belly button and he sits up for a moment to undo the button on your jeans, helping you remove them. As soon as he starts closing the distance between you again, you reach for him and place your hands in his hair, pulling him towards you. It’s as if you’re already becoming addicted to his kisses, or his touch in general, because you squirm under him when his hand starts roaming your body once again, this time reaching behind your back to unclip your bra, and immediately making his way underneath it, to caress the sensitive skin on your breasts. Your lips part again and you feel a sense of deprivation, but soon a new kind of excitement overcomes you when he kisses his way down your throat, collarbones, and to your nipple. As he starts sucking on it, your moans become more frequent, and with his hands at the sides of your ribcage he keeps you in place. You bury your fingers deep in his hair, and when his name falls from your lips, he looks up at you for a moment. You wonder what’s going through his head in that exact second, but your thoughts are wiped away immediately when you feel the warmth of his tongue on your skin again. He soon switches to leaving kisses all over, finally kissing his way back up the side of your throat. He watches you intently as his fingertips brush over your body and along the insides of your thighs, and you whimper his name again. He kisses you in response, and when he breaks contact, you feel his fingers brushing against the fabric of your panties. You reflexively press your thighs together.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice softer than you’ve ever heard it, and nodding, you relax your body. He starts drawing circles over your clit and you press your eyes shut tightly, exhaling a shaky breath. It doesn’t take long until he slips his fingers under the thin fabric and pushes one of them inside of you effortlessly, then another one, while his thumb keeps massaging your clit. You hold onto his back and dig your nails into his skin, thinking you’ll lose your mind from this already, and you whine when he’s forced to remove his hand to slip off your underwear. A shiver runs down your spine as you realize you’re now lying under him completely naked, aroused, and with no kind of protection whatsoever. But looking into his warm eyes and feeling the way he gently takes care of you, you’re more than okay with that. He kisses the space between your breasts and switches up sucking and nibbling on your skin to leave a mark, working his way down until his tongue licks one swift path down your core. He moves onto playing with your clit using the tip of his tongue and the fast strokes make you moan again. Surprised by how loud you’ve suddenly become, you bite the back of your hand to avoid alerting anyone who might hear through the walls.

“You don’t have to be careful, Y/N. There’s nobody else home,” he assures you, adding while he pushes his fingers back inside you, “Let me hear your beautiful voice.” Obeying his wish, you moan with every movement of his, while your hands clutch the sheets beneath you tightly. It doesn’t take long until you feel your high building up, and as soon as he notices you holding your breath, he picks up speed gradually, and it takes only seconds until you cum, moaning his name loudly as you clench around his fingers. He waits for you to calm down a little until he takes them out and stares you right in the eyes while licking them clean, making you feel a bit embarrassed. Your own gaze wanders down his body and to the very visible bulge in his pants. Still out of breath, you sit up and open the button and zipper on them, but he takes a hold of your hands and you make eye contact for a moment, as if to check that you’re still okay with everything that’s happening. You press a kiss against his chest to tell him that you’re doing this because you want to, and he helps you remove both his pants and his boxers. Hovering over you again, he pushes your back into the mattress.

“Just relax,” he whispers, “and tell me if it hurts.” You nod, and after giving himself a few quick strokes, he pushes into you. You moan from the feeling, and he stops his movements right away, thinking you really are in pain.

“Go on, please,” you beg, sinking your nails into the skin on his shoulders and back. A fire lights up in his eyes, and he starts rolling his hips into yours slowly, but picking up the pace gradually. He starts leaving kisses in your neck, and his teeth graze you here and there. He reaches for your thighs to put your legs up around his waist, and the sensation of him repeatedly hitting just the right spot inside of you all of a sudden makes your head spin. You hold onto him tightly as you cum again, this time muffling your moans by burying your face in the crook of his neck, and not long after you can hear him cursing under his breath as he cums too. Collapsing next to you on the bed, he breathes heavily and waits for you to catch your breath as well. Then he leans over and kisses you again, just softly brushing his lips against yours.

“I love you,” he says, looking into your eyes.

“Do you say that to every girl you sleep with?” you ask teasingly and he shakes his head strongly.

“I only say it when I mean it.”

“Then why… didn’t you say something sooner?” you want to know. You put your arm around his upper body.

“I didn’t think you’d feel the same about me… but I don’t feel like I can hide it any longer now,” he explains, averting his gaze. Sanghyuk’s cheeks burn up again and you close in on him, resting your head on his chest.

“Will you go out with me then?”

“Of course,” he answers without hesitation. You lift your head and place a peck on his lips that turns into a deep, open-mouthed kiss, with his fingers tangled in your hair.