#fanfic!reader

Why the FUCK did you think reading the fanfiction Dick wrote about your ass before attempting to seduce him was a good idea?

No. No. Seriously, where the fuck did your logic go? To the Batcave?

Sure, you were looking for la inspiration. But, now you have butterflies under your skin. And, you’re probably running a low grade fever at this point judging by the heat coming off of your fucking face.

Look out Mister Freeze, Imma probably ruin your day. Call me the Heat Miser, motherfucker.

Dick apparently wrote sexy fluffy about you and him. Was that a thing? You fucking guess so.

It wasn’t anything ground breaking like what Jason wrote or even what Harley, if that is her, wrote as well. But, it was— Gah!

Fuck!

Kudos to this motherfucker though because somehow he figured out a way to make smut fluff. Describing kissing your skin in vivid detail. The words he’d been imagining whispering into your ear. Lots words. Probably the sexiest yapper to ever exist.

And, then there was the mirror sex one-shot and how he would trail his hands across every bit of sensitive skin you owned. Each word he'd imprint on your skin. And, tease you deliciously-

NO! It was relentlessly. The word he used was relentlessly. It did make your mouth water though. Tiny bit. No drool. Thankfully.

Definitely woke up something in you. You’re not sure what, but you’ve been trying to mentally fire tranquilizers at the damn thing since.

Why?

Because your dumbass was still gonna follow through with your mad plan. Throttle it, bitch. We're doing this.

After the most uncomfortable spa day of your life. And, you do mean that for yourself because for some reason all your usual estheticians and massage therapist seemed to pleased with getting you all pampered for tonight. Even though you hadn't mentioned a single thing to them. It was suspicious how happy they seemed.

But, you assumed it was maybe because the old bitch of manager had recently been fired. Lady always tried to kiss your ass to the ninth degree, but you heard her call you a ditz. While not wrong, she should've kept her mouth shut at least.

It doesn't matter though.

You were ready for this. Swimsuit? On. You weren't risking another exposure incident. Multiple towels? Check. Enough fancy drinks to share, but not enough to be suspicious? Rodger. Hot tub hot and bubbling? Yes, bitch. Dick's Nightwing suit draped over a chair? Also, yes.

Uh-oh. Gulp.

There are eyeballs on you. You can feel them. Two blue eyes that would make Hannah Montana weep with envy over their color. Hidden behind a domino mask that somehow sticks to the skin in every situation imaginable.

One extremely slow head turn later, you nearly have to cover your mouth at the holy sight.

"You are inappropriately hot." Great going. That’s one hell of a start to the attempted seduction.

“You’d be the… third person to ever say that, I think.” Dick, or Nightwing, chuckled warmly at you. Droplets sliding down his chest as his lifted one arm from the water and rubbed the back of his neck.

It is through God’s saving grace you don’t whimper at the sight of his… Actually, you’re not sure what that muscle’s called, but boy oh boy to you appreciate the hard work they do for Gotham and Bludhaven.

“Pardon me for not being original.” You can’t help snarking to cover your flustered state. It does a shit job since he ends up grinning at you like he knows. He probably does. Smug asshole.

“Shouldn’t you be on patrol?” The golden and probably most asked question you had when this bunch was in uniform. You planned for this little mission to be a quick jaunt for your heart’s sake. You were not built for the long sensual seducing sessions. Quick teases and then skedaddling was how you rumbled. Less embarrassing.

“Technically, I’m off for the night. Figured I stop by and check you didn’t lose your stuff again.” Dick was definitely enjoying himself in that casual confident way that had your brain going fuzzy. You couldn't tell through the fuzz.

“My hero.” You grumbled while feeling your cheeks heat.

He’s spending his night off with you? With you? He’s actively choosing this? Oh. My. God.

Younger you would scream. Mostly in horror. The fuck you mean it took them wanting to fuck you to want to socialize with you?

And, why was that freaking out present day you less and less?

Those questions are way too embarrassing to answer. Let’s avoid that with something less embarrassing.

How about getting in the hot tub with Dick/Nightwing?

No pressure.

You’re definitely not clumsy enough to be the heroine in a young adult novel. Sarcasm. You’re different. You have a love triangle trapping you in on all sides. And, no special skills other than making odd noises with terrible timing and fucking up your own life.

Still, you're giving Nightwing your best wiry and sassy grin and into the hot tub you go. Both legs in at the same, minimal splash on the slide, success.

“So is this a regular thing for you?” You can’t help asking with a raised brow as you attempt to nonchalantly settle across from him.

“I’m not exactly the type of person that needs the most help in this city, despite being a disaster at my own life. I think I have enough privilege and mediocrity to cover all my bases.” Honestly, you only make that comment out of curiosity. How was he going to explain away chilling here with you instead of busting up a drug ring or something?

Back when you first moved into Wayne Manor, it seemed as though everyone was busy with crime and costumes. Now, you’re here chilling with one of them. Technically while out of costume. But, let’s not think about that. You don’t wanna look be caught glancing too much at the bubbles below.

"I think you're underestimating how interesting you are." Dick's mask shifts a bit like he's raising a single eyebrow at you underneath it. A hum in his throat that takes you a bit by surprise with the goosebumps it gives you.

"A lot of people watch you." You know that NOW. "And, I don't mean that in a creepy way." Oh, he is not afraid of lying driectly to your face. You should properly write that down in your mental notes instead of watching the water droplets trickle down his skin like some thirsty bitch in heat.

"Then how do you mean it?" Okay, you're definitely curious now. But, how can you not be? This is intel.

"Bruce Wayne having a secret kid that grew up middle class isn't... unexpected. I would even go as far as to say that everyone in this city was placing bets on the next Wayne to drop. And, they were also expecting you to grow into an entitled brat." You can't help the look of confusion washing over you.

"What about Damian? Why did people in Gotham - and I'm including you in that, by the way - assume that I would become so entitled in comparison to Damian? I'll admit, I do stupid things all the time and I'm all for indulging in luxuries," You can't help gesturing to the the entire rooftop.

The view of the Gotham nighttime skyline around both of you. A stunning display and so far up in the air that you couldn't hear the sounds of traffic below. The towels that cost more than most people's income in Gotham. The fancy drinks. Which lead you to remembering to toss Dick Nightwing one.

And, he caught it with ease before slowly looking at you. Not in that sultry way, but with something that felt deeper. Instead it was the expression of a man that was being stunned by a sight that took his breath away each time his gaze drifted towards it. His mask doing nothing to hide what you almost thought was awe.

"This." He holds the drink up like evidence of his point. Which to be fair might have made you think you were busted on top of being confused. You’d made sure to get a few of those health drinks he likes to chug. Might have been a bit to on the nose.

"Damian came to Gotham entitled. No one expected his behavior to change for the worst. I'd even say people thought it was typical of him to act that way despite his improvement over the years. But, you..." There's a silent moment between the both of you. One that leaves you anxious and strangely intrigued.

Also relieved. Not busted yet.

"You didn't change for the worst when you came to Gotham and joined the snooty folks at the top. "

"... That kinda feels like a low bar to have."

"You'd think. But, it's Gotham."

"I hate that excuse." You can't help grumbling under your breath. Sexy feelings taking a backseat for a moment as you decide to get all philosophical in this bubbly bitch.

Then they return at full speed when he throws his head back with a laugh and a grin that looks way to delighted for you. That is an unfairly attractive laugh.

He could make audio porn of that laugh and be richer than Bruce by next Tuesday.

"You're proving my point again. You came to Gotham and you were suddenly a big fish in the pond. And, we, all of Gotham’s residents, were expecting you to start eating the other fish. But, you didn't." It takes your breath away at how soft his voice gets when his words trail off.

Like he truly believes in that statement.

It causes a plethora of emotions to wash over you, but you mange to speak while looking at him over the water and with the night air grazing your skin.

"Maybe I'm just a fish that doesn't need to eat other fish. Maybe... I'm just a big ass whale." Yes. Because comparing yourself to a giant hunk of blubber was exactly what you need to say to such a profound compliment of your shit personality.

You should’ve just omitted that last part and played it cryptic.

"A very sexy whale." Only Dick fucking Grayson could call someone a sexy whale and make their heart flutter with his stupidly perfect little dimpled smile.

That sudden urge to do something to break the tension start to arise inside you chest along with that tingling heat in your lower gut.

How should you do that? Hmmmm… Uh…

Do not attempt to make a sexy whale noise to hide from your flustered feelings. There no such thing as a sexy whale noise. You need to fight that temptation like your life depends on it. Sexy whale noises will not work in seducing him.

“Suppose that explains your ‘Free Willy’ for this evening.” The whale noises would’ve been a better. You did not need to pointedly look down at where his dick lay beneath the water and trail your eyes up at him.

But, thank GOD it fucking seemed to work, because, I shit you not, Nightwing - the Dick Grayson himself - blushes.

LET’S FUCKING GO!! TAKE THAT UP YOUR ASS BRUCE! I’M SEDUCING YOUR FIRST BORN!

Oh, wait. That’s technically you.

Eh. This counts.

Work it, baby. Work it.

Nightwing goes commando under the suit. Tell the media and the church.

“So you’re packing three beating sticks every night you go crime fighting? Good to know, I feel very safe.” Maybe there’s a little too much teeth as you grin impishly at him.

However, you needed this win. Badly.

Which doesn’t last because he’s standing up.

Oh… fuuuuck—

Shamefully or morally enough, you turn your head from the sight. You were not ready to be getting an eyeful at eye level of Dick’s dick.

Not yet at least.

Although you have a feeling it's probably standing at attention.

Jesus, and you thought Tim was the freak of the bunch. This man had his dick out like you were Harambe on a Gotham rooftop. Maybe Harley did have a point with that little rooftop punishment sex chapter she wrote. You should re-read that later. Possibly.

“Still feel safe?" Dick asked in a smug teasing voice. He knew what the fuck he was doing. You knew he knew what the fuck he was doing.

"Depends. Are you threatening me with that thing?" Keep it together. Keep it together. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You were in over your head and barely treading water. Quick, look up at him through your eyelashes like in every other romance novel in existence.

DO NOT LOOK AT HIS PENIS.

"Maybe later. I need to take you to dinner first." He's moving closer. This was not apart of the plan. The was above your pay grade. Hell, you weren't even getting paid for this. Boy, did you underestimate this assignment.

"After... We might get up to a little something." Keep looking up at that stupid grin. Watch his lips! That's a seduction tactic, right?

You really should've fucking googled how to do this seducing shit and not just run off of all the smutty fanfiction you’ve read over the years.

“So you’ll do dinner while I do dessert?” Tilt your head slightly, show off those collarbones he apparently likes, and throw in an itty bitty teasing smile.

“I’ll consider it if you ask me in the future.” No visible signs of you internally losing your shit whatsoever, you hope.

And, judging by the way he looks seconds away from devouring you, you have successful managed to pull this bullshit off. Thank you, Jesus.

"I'm looking forward to asking then." The way Dick's Adams apple bobs makes the ego boost almost dizzying. You're almost disappointed when he get out of the water and grabs his Nightwing suit.

And, that little devil inside has you taking a peak at his back. Just a tiny peak. Leave it to him to have trapezius muscles that would make your mouth water.

"Have a nice night, Nightwing."

"It's already perfect." Comes his faint muttering before he's throwing an almost smug smirk your way and jumping over the rooftop railing in a perfect gymnastics formation. Leaping off it like he was Peter Pan come again.

You wait a full solid minute before you’re cackling to yourself and rubbing your hands together.

"Hehehehe, I just seduced—"

Only to choke on your words. Like usual.

Oh, GOD, you just intentionally put the moves on your older adoptive brother. While he had his literal dick out in front of you. AND, YOU WERE PROUD OF THAT?! The fuck was wrong with you , bitch?!

"Gotham didn't corrupt me, my ass..." Dick's words need to be processed mentally, but that was after you finished sitting in the hot tub with your heart racing in your chest for a multitude of reasons.

Your life was going to be a case study one day. You're not sure what the study was going to be on, but it was going to be a messy topic and you dreaded the future peer reviewed articles that would haunt you to your grave.

"You can stop laughing now, Stephanie."

"YOU HAD YOUR DICK OUT! YOU JUST WENT FOR IT! AND, THEY FLIRTED BACK WITH ACTUAL FINESSE! I'M SO PROUD!"

"Jason's still punching the sandbags in the cave. Bruce thinks a mission went wrong and is on stand by to console him. He's already busted... How many is that, Cass?"

"Three."

"Oh, so that's why he's not talking."

"I'll have to help him come up with s plausible excuse later to make him hurry up with that smut chapter."

"YousonofabitchI'mgoingtoruinallyourfuckinggymequipmentanddeleteallyourWIPsfuckingstolemyplanshouldvebeenme..."

"Tim's been muttering the whole time, just a warning. He just accidentally hit his comm button."

"Grayson?"

"Yes, baby bird?"

"Sleep with both eyes open for the rest of your life."

"God, this family is a mess..."

"Like you're not recording all of it for wine night, Barbara."

🌥️Ko-Fi Link

Jason in general looks dangerous as it.

But, Jason with that look on his face looks murderous. And, not in burning rage kind of way. In that slow calculating way you know he’s capable of. The kind that learns about every hiding spot you may have and tears each on apart with delight just to seek you out.

Dramatic? Yes. Were you joking? Fuck no.

“Tim took me boarding yesterday and I sucked at it.”

“Bet that’s not the only think you sucked…”

This bitch! No! Why?! Jason looks seconds away from imploding and you’re still with in the blast radius.

“Why would you—“ You start to say with outrage only to be interrupted by Stephanie.

“Bruce is coming!” She suddenly says with a panicked look. And, you honestly don’t care. Let him walk in on this. Maybe he could save your ass from his own creations. For fucking once.

But, that seems to make Jason move wrapping an arm around your waist and a hand over your mouth before tugging you back into the kitchen’s broom closet. One of the few small spaces in this oversized castle of a house.

There was enough space to fit three normal sized people. And, considering Jason was built like two fine ass men, there should’ve been plenty of room.

So there was no reason for you to be pressed to the door with Jason’s arms wrapped around your waist and his head buried in the side of your crook of your neck. The part right above the collar of Tim’s shirt where the skin started to show.

Fuck, you could hear how heavily he was breathing. Or, was that you? You’re not sure.

Jason seemed to hone in on that sliver of skin. His lips grazing it so fast you would’ve thought it was by accident. In reality, you knew it was to hide what he was doing so he wouldn’t get caught.

You had read his thoughts through his writing, knew he’s imagined this exact scenario over and over again. And, now you were in it.

Not like you were in any capacity to complain because each breath he took seemed to make you nerves spark.

You didn’t even bother to listen for Bruce’s sudden supposed arrival Stephanie was so worried about.

You were a bit to preoccupied with the way Jason’s arm tightened around you waist, the way his finger seemed to press into the softer bits of flesh on your side. Like he was fighting between the urge to grip your flesh and never let go, or rip Tim’s shirt from your skin in offense.

It tugged the collar a bit as his finger pulled against the fabric, giving his breath more surface area to touch. And, something in you shifted.

What happened to your plan? What happened to your evil little idea of getting back at them? At making their lives hell for your satisfaction?

You had a fucking goal. Time to lock in and fucking chase it, bitch.

Letting your breath hitch naturally you do the one thing you could do in Jason tight grasp.

You squirm. Just so.

You ass pressed right up against him. And, no. You do not fucking stop.

You arched, so slight it could be a considered an unintended movement.

“Jason…” You make sure to hiss his name against his palm, like you would usually do when he pissed you off. Nearly rolling your body against his.

What you expect is him to say something witty or snarky.

Instead you’re rewarded with a whimper.

Soft and subtle you almost miss it.

Thank god you don’t freeze. Because you were tempted to. So tempted to turn around and look at his face. Wondering if it was as flushed and red as the color he wore at night. But, that rush of heat to your gut and that tingle down your spine made you keep going.

Trying to keep up the act and trying to draw another sound from him. Any fucking sound.

“Jason, would you—”

Only to be interrupted again by the door you’re pressed againt to be rapidly opened and you getting smoothed between another muscled chest as Jason’s arms tighten around your waist. The hand muffling your voice falling downward.

Looking up you're get an eye full of Dick grinning down at you. A twitch in his eye that lets you know that he is anything put happy by the sight of Jason wrapped around you and Tim's shirt on your body.

"Hey, Dick!" Time to eat some chess pieces. "Save me, please?"

That's right! No this isn't what it looks like. No stuttering. Just give him the puppy dog eyes and sweetest smile you got. It worked in that fic that Harley apparently wrote. Time to pray she got his characterization right.

"On it." And, before you can blink, Jason's shoved back in the closet and Dick's hand is on your back as he guides you away. Door shutting with a click. Stephanie is grinning like the little shit she is because Bruce had not been fucking coming.

"Do you want to explain what that was about?" Dick asked in a voice that just screamed, I will discipline someone after this. Not to be mistaken for his older brother tone. Nope. He definitely wasn't using that right now.

"One of Tim's shirts ended up in my drawers and Stephanie was teasing me about not realizing it when Jason walk in. Next thing I know Steph say Bruce is coming and Jason pulls him in the closet in some wrestling hold." Tell the truth and nothing but the truth. But, spin it to make you look helpless. You are the sweet innocent victim here.

Stephanie barely manages to hide her snort of amusement before Dick turns his attention to her.

"Yeah, Bruce would've been upset if he'd thought you'd accidentally done Tim's laundry. He doesn't want you acting like a housekeeper in your own home." Smooth ass save.

You're almost impressed. But, you're too distracted by Jason suddenly coming out of the broom closet looking way too smugly at Dick.

Welp, this was about to be a literal cock fight between Robins. Time to dip.

"I'm just gonna head back up to my room. Might take another spa day for this bruising." Comes your quick excuse as you flee the kitchen with grace. Making sure to rub your backside as you walk.

Why not? It's sore and they were gonna look anyway.

But, you don't need to hear the fight behind to know that you'd just gotten the confidence boot you needed.

It was gonna be a spa say. Which meant lounging in the rooftop hot tub tonight. And, you knew after all this, Dick wouldn't be able to resist. Better pack a bag and speed run his fics. You were going in for the kill.

"Can't stand to see me get more than you, can you Dickie bird."

"Shut up."

"Getting aggressive there."

"I'm not getting aggressive, Steph."

"Sure, you aren't. I suspect you'll be needing an intense work out for your stress later then?"

"No, actaully. I don't think I will."

"What are you planning, Dick?"

"Nothing."

"I don't buy it, but I'm not stopping it. I'm just gonna look forward to whatever smut Jason finally writes."

"I was working on something already, Blondie. You can beta for me."

"Sweet."

Taglist: Closed

@ocean-mochi @cupid73 @vanessa-boo @ashtheweird @theall-seeingone @bbmgirll @nervousalpacalady @rovcarmen @rues-lovely-memoir @cgmajor @ruikeremi @themostdelusionalgirl @mazixxss @bellethesleepypotato @bad4amficideas @cruzerforce4256 @galaxypurplerose @wizzerreblogs @kkocho @d-aezy @frogwizard13 @badluckinfrench @farsketch @cruzerforce4256 @00hellohello00 @pigeonl0rd @hunter-hearz-all @eyeless-kun @ee-1ovelifedownthedrain @awawage @minimari415 @hon3ydewcaram3l @caught-the-feels @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @darktrashpoetry @wisefuncherryblossom @shqyou @tvnile @eepywoman @dottoreos @unclearblur @neverano @misaki-kira8 @prorpy @hearts4mica @c4xcocoa @chiara-bell @oliviaewl @letsbedragonstogether @whoareyou3iamyu @cloudedthotz @h0neysiba @chessitune @thanablackwell @holderoflostmemories @allycat4458 @jjoppees @rtyuy1346 @yandereheros @ciatin @haruskrd @batgirliee @ilovecoffe0 @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @heartofblackgoldandpurple @sleepydang @1abi @gaozorous-rex-blog @cheshire-kitsune @flyingpansaurus @watermellonslol @ursa-tan @ppyn @ithoughtthinks @mydarlingelena @sei-x-shi @wannabemiricle @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @redkarmakai @ursa-tan @sharks-r-cool-l @wrenbirde @kobenio @mentallyilldarling @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @smiller975

@milothenightauthor @user848271672 @user848271672 @user848271672 @rorysgarden @leilei-lolo @the-u-brawl-truck @miss-manupilative @hello-kitty-number-1-fan @daughterof-neptune @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @definitely-not-sammie @irenehart02 @solarisstarrsolomonsbeloved @hromni @leeiasure @fto6 @haileybugulug @23s0fia @watercloud-lover @strawbrysapphic @iloveescara @ememgl @lapaufabi @nickey-diano @otakusimp1 @code-darling @3zae-zae3 @mblr9 @chaosandcandies @vampire-oc-lover @ghostdoodlen @rainyturtleyouth @maij121314 @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @batgirliee @pocketful-ofrainbows @wrenbirde @kobenio @laffytaffyspoon @ikeasharkplush @ppyn @daughterof-neptune @miuangel @vinuaei @cens0r3d @coconutx-o @sereinitysmind @yn-wayne @sleepydang @hime44444 @hopperwopper @hoaxno @lilqi @yuutp @chanelxohot

So now you had one of the most prolific porn writers in this day and age invading your special place. NOT THAT ONE.

But, you know he'd thought of it considering you were apparently Tim's goddamn muse.

Look at him acting all casual while he orders a stupid chai latte and croissant from your best friend. Which you know is fake as fuck. This asshole did not do normal. Even if he was dressed the part.

Okay, he looked kinda good in the button down shirt and slacks he's wearing, plus the red hoodie over it. Clearly he was trying to look less young CEO and more like the creepy nerd you knew he was. When you spot the subtle logo for Red Robin on the red fabric you inwardly smirk to yourself. Way to be subtle, Timmy.

It was a common enough sight for someone to wear merch around Gotham. But, there was some humor in Tim wearing his own in public with no one realizing.

However, your eyes narrow before you realize you probably have thirty seconds until he comes to your table to harass your ass.

And, you barely keep them from growing to the size of dinner plates when you realize you have all those fanfics open on your best friend's phone in your hands. And, you know she wasn't going to distract him long at check out. She was zoned the fuck out.

Quickly, and while trying not to look panicked, you close the web browser application and pull up her phone gallery to say you were looking at her memes.

Only to fucking regret it because you forget your bitch of a best friend's gallery is filled with fan art of your ass and Dick in his Nightwing gear. Or, at least some of the gear. It's really just his mask and some strategically places bits of fabric.

Fuck, were these atomically accurate drawings? Stop thinking that!

SWIPE BITCH! SWIPE!

Rapidly you start to run through her pictures, only for your panic to continue to grow. Because while the art gets better in quality, but there's less clothing in each one. OH SHIT!

There's some of Red Robin, Red Hood, and your FUCKING FATHER BATMAN HIMSELF.

SWEET BLEACH THERAPY AND JESUS!

And, of course you land on one of Tim, Red Robin, fucking you with a blindfolded over your eyes just in time to hear the man who was obe of the very subjects in the drawing speak.

"Hey, didn't realize you were here." Lying fucking asshole, you think. But, you don't say anything because you're to busy clutching the phone to your chest like it was your infant child. Desperately trying to hide the secrets it contains.

You fuck up acting calm cool and collected because Timmy-boy gets that curious stare and his lips twitch like he just found a new mystery to solve.

"What were you looking at that caused you to freak out so much all the sudden?"

Ru-roh, Raggy. You have a meddling perv on your hands.

FUCK!

Wing it and give him the best fucking lie you got. He cannot know. What will make him not investigate?

"Dick pic." Please, work. "It was really fucked up looking. Crooked. And, uncircumcised. With balls like hairy pill bugs."

Mission success. Tim looks taken aback.

Keep. Going.

"I've been drawing hats and scarfs on them digitally so my friend could send them back to their owners. I was unprepared for that one though." By now you had managed to get your face under control and were using an poker face that would make any gambler in this city jealous. You were just praying to God, or whoever the fuck was mentally listening in, that your story would be enough to keep Tim from continuing on his trail of curious thought.

It wasn't exactly false. You'd done stuff like that for your bestfriend before. You just didn't want him checking her iCloud storage and finding all the fanart in her gallery that you were looking at.

For obvious reasons.

God, you felt like a pornstar. And, not in a fun slutty way.

“Anyway, what are you doing on my side of town? Should you be in the office?” Forty-five minutes away from here with peak Gotham day time traffic.

“Nah, I’m playing hooky today.”

“Debbie’s kids are sick and you’re ditching the office?”

“No. They’re on a field trip and Debbie went to chaperone.” That made sense. Debbie was very careful about letting her boys go off on their own in general. It’s what made her so capable when it came to wrangling Tim into actually doing his work as CEO.

“Still doesn’t explain why you’re here though.”

“Am I not allowed to be here?”

“Nope.” You shamelessly reply. Giving him a blatant hint to get the fuck out.

“Guess we better get going then.” He grins. And, there’s a gleam in his eyes that says he’d be more than willing to haul you up outta here over his shoulder.

This twink has no shame, and he had nice shoulders too. He’ll do it.

“I didn’t sign up for this shit today…” Technically you did sign up, but that was before you’d gotten in over your head like this.

Tossing your bestie her phone like it was a landmine, which is was, you begrudgingly follow Tim out of the coffee shop and in to the Gotham unknown.

You can feel a curious look being sent to your back as you leave. But, your dear friend had long learned not to question things about your siblings. Your usual excuse for them being that they were the weird kind of rich that only touched high quality grass.

And, were you wrong? NO! They put premium sod around the manor. Shit that cost more than a country club's high class golf fields. Bougie ass grass. And, yes, it was fucking greener.

The thoughts on grass do not distract you from the fact that Tim's eyes are on your ass when you walk towards your car. You notice that he didn't bring his. Which was suspicious, but you must play dumb.

While Tim plays GPS.

"Turn at this light."

"Go one more street over."

"You can go over the speed limit, you know?"

"I know. I don't care. We follow the law and get there when we get there." Yeah, you're not playing that game. Bruce would probably give you a look of shame if you got a ticket. It would be the first look you'd get from him too.

You weren't old enough to recover from that in a healthy emotional manner just yet. Maybe when you were grey haired? Or, dead?

Whichever comes first in a God forsaken city like this one.

You had parked under the Gotham Highway. A very urban concert jungle area that you'd never been before. It didn't look very muder-y in the daylight, but it definitely looked like somewhere people would smoke the devil's lettuce.

Oh, people here were doing that. Shit.

"Where are you dragging me off too?" You did not need to go back to the manor smelling like that. Alfred would probably line you up against the back of the manor green house and spray you down with the hose. He did that to Jason once even though Jason doesn't use the stuff.

"Trust me." Already Tim was getting out of the car and leaning on the vehicle, grinning brightly at you.

Why does he have a nice smile? He didn't even have veneers or anything, it was just a really nice smile with the whitest teeth that were only slightly crooked. So unfair. It didn't need to be that nice. That nice made your face hot.

“Not as far as I couldn't throw you.” You click your tongue before debating on driving away and leaving his ass here. He'd probably chase after you though. And, yeah, he'd probably catch you too due to his bird skills.

Damn. You're stuck.

“Well, that’s unfortunate.” He guided you from your car further into the graffiti filled jungle. Less sharp angles and more curves than you'd expect. And, there was a lot of color. Nearly every surface had a tag on it. Even the underside of the road over your heads.

“What is this place? Are we under the highway?” You figure it's a stupid question to ask. You can hear the cars overhead rushing past. But, it felt like a bubble down here. It was nothing like you had ever really seen before in comparison to where you grew up.

“It’s a skate park!” Tim looks a little smug when he says that.

“Very… Subway surfers chic… Why’d you bring me here?”

“Cause you’ve never been to one before.”

Yeah, you kinda just proved that. Still, where exactly was he going with this. Better make it awkward. Unintentionally.

“So is this where you dragged Steph when y’all used to date? Gotta say this is pretty— Hey!”

“Safety first.” He looks way too smug about throwing a random helmet out you. Where did he get it? You don't know. However, rude, but fair. Don’t bring up the one that got away. Even if she is goals.

“Helmets aren’t supposed to be used to give noggins bruises. Kinda defeats to purpose of their existence.”

“Anything is a weapon if you believe hard enough.”

“That sounds like something Damian would say, but Disney would write…” You mutter as you clip the helmet under your chin. Nearly pinching a small bit of skin there.

Bedside Tim and you are some guys going nuts doing a bunch of trick you couldn't even begin to name. And, you’re not gonna lie, they are gliding across the concrete like a hot knife through butter with impressive skill. And you make the mistake of showing it on your face before glancing back over at Tim and seeing that look in his eyes.

That ‘I see a challenge' look.

Oh, fuck. No, no, no.

This spleen-less twink better not be getting the bright idea to start showing off because you looked at some other dudes for two seconds. You would not be responsible for any ER trips to the Batcave.

“So, I’m gonna teach you how to…"

Oh, God. You were about to eat concrete while he tried to touch your ass. You just knew it.

Taglist:

@ocean-mochi @cupid73 @vanessa-boo @ashtheweird @theall-seeingone @bbmgirll @nervousalpacalady @rovcarmen @rues-lovely-memoir @cgmajor @ruikeremi @themostdelusionalgirl @mazixxss @bellethesleepypotato @bad4amficideas @cruzerforce4256 @galaxypurplerose @wizzerreblogs @kkocho @d-aezy @frogwizard13 @badluckinfrench @farsketch @cruzerforce4256 @00hellohello00 @pigeonl0rd @hunter-hearz-all @eyeless-kun @ee-1ovelifedownthedrain @awawage @minimari415 @hon3ydewcaram3l @caught-the-feels @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @darktrashpoetry @wisefuncherryblossom @shqyou @tvnile @eepywoman @dottoreos @unclearblur @neverano @misaki-kira8 @prorpy @hearts4mica @c4xcocoa @chiara-bell @oliviaewl @letsbedragonstogether @whoareyou3iamyu @cloudedthotz @h0neysiba @chessitune @thanablackwell @holderoflostmemories @allycat4458 @jjoppees @rtyuy1346 @yandereheros @ciatin @haruskrd @batgirliee @ilovecoffe0 @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @heartofblackgoldandpurple @sleepydang @1abi @gaozorous-rex-blog @cheshire-kitsune @flyingpansaurus @watermellonslol @ursa-tan @ppyn @ithoughtthinks @mydarlingelena @sei-x-shi @wannabemiricle @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @redkarmakai @ursa-tan @sharks-r-cool-l @wrenbirde @kobenio @mentallyilldarling @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @smiller975 @milothenightauthor @user848271672 @user848271672 @user848271672 @rorysgarden @leilei-lolo @the-u-brawl-truck @miss-manupilative @hello-kitty-number-1-fan @daughterof-neptune @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @definitely-not-sammie @irenehart02 @solarisstarrsolomonsbeloved @hromni @leeiasure @fto6 @haileybugulug @23s0fia @watercloud-lover @strawbrysapphic @iloveescara @ememgl @lapaufabi @nickey-diano @otakusimp1 @code-darling @3zae-zae3 @mblr9 @chaosandcandies @vampire-oc-lover @ghostdoodlen @rainyturtleyouth @maij121314 @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @batgirliee @pocketful-ofrainbows @wrenbirde @kobenio @laffytaffyspoon @ikeasharkplush @ppyn @daughterof-neptune @miuangel @vinuaei @cens0r3d @coconutx-o @sereinitysmind @yn-wayne @sleepydang @hime44444 @hopperwopper @hoaxno @lilqi @yuutp @chanelxohot @starlight100 @sirenetheblogger @shawtybae3 @iamrgo @k-tsuyuri @rationalelderberry @noisytheoristcat @byzantiumhollow @ivantheterr1ble @minyoonjistan @aesthetic-lyss @bluepartywobblernickel

@sereinitysmind @sukunassidechick @redkarmakai @cruelkitty00 @samiltonwk @zero-s-tea @theoraekenslover @levi-09

A/N: Give Reader a second to piece together that Tim dragged their ass on a date. As I said, they did not get the intelligence trait from Bruce. 🙂‍↔️

A/N: Let's see if I can knock out three more chapters before the curse hits again! Kidding, I'm trying to work on my other works too and get ready for Christmas. Smalltown!Reader has not been forgotten, it's just a lot. Like a lot a lot.

Other than the fact that you had nearly fallen off the board Tim somehow procured half a dozen times, Tim had caught you every single time. And, shown up those other guys with a few example tricks.

Which, not gonna lie, was kind of impressive. You only swooned a tinnie tiny bit. Not that you were going to tell him that.

By now it was past mid-day and more people were out. Less weed heads and more bros. And, maybe, just maybe, you were having fun.

Where you dressed for this shit? Hell no. But, you were genuinely having a good time. Practically laughing every time you landed in Tim's arms.

And, he kept grinning at you.

Just grinning. While you matched the pull of his lips with your own.

Of course, your excuse was that you'd never done this before. And, that Tim would just track you down and drag you back to get whatever he wanted out of you. You’re not so certain you’d be gnashing your teeth to get away anymore.

Maybe one bite on the arm. But, he’d like that, you remind yourself when he catches you, yet again.

“I think you’re ready to try your first Ollie or a wheeliee.” He comments, moving you both towards a more open space. A more novice friendly area with less people.

"Yeah, not sure if I'm going to be able to pull any of that off without busting my kneecaps." That definitely didn't sound pleasant. You don't care how much you felt like you were in an early 2000s music video doing this shit. Concrete hurt and bruises sucked.

"Try it. I swear I'll catch you." Maybe this was some weird trust exercise. Build up your trust and make himself look like a harmless gentleman. Nice try asshole, you had a rough idea of what was in his search history. He probably used it to write about him pressing you up against one of these defaced half-pipes and laying some pipe up in you.

Not falling for it.

But, also you couldn't just call him out. You had a plan and shit, and were forced to keep playing dumb. Unfortunately, for you, nearly everyone thought you were really really fucking dumb.

"Which one is easier?"

"An ollie involves jumping-"

"Fuck that." You quickly nix that idea. Nope. NOPE. "What's a wheelie? Sounds… not as cute, but more practical."

Tim has the nerve to chuckle at you. Stealing the board before deciding to demonstrate. Flawlessly. Because why the fuck wouldn't he.

And, it is after you watch him balance on the back two wheels of the board with ease that you decide…

"Fuck you."

"Please?" Why the fuck is he giving you puppy dog eyes? There was no need for such eyes when you were the hostage here.

Did… Did he mean that as please do the trick or did he mean that as in he wanted you to… No, get back in the box. Send those thoughts to the devil where they belong. No. No. NO NAUGHTINESS.

Just do the trick...

"Fine… You're only allowed to laugh for thirty seconds when I fail though. Thirty seconds. Not twenty minutes." You relent, waiting for him to roll the board back to you.

Barely managing to catch it with your foot, you look down at it feeling that sinking feeling in your gut. You know, the one you get before you’re about to make a bad decision.

But, you being you say fuck it, let’s ball and hop on.

Glancing up at Tim for… emotional support? Approval? Cause his face is kinda nice in a dorky way? You’re not sure, you just attempt to copy the little wheelie he did with like it was as simple as breathing.

Only to fall backwards without a hint of dignity or grace.

Mmm Whatcha Say… As you go down stiff and numb with embarrassment. You can see the way Tim’s eyes widen for just a brief moment when he realizes he’s not gonna catch you in time.

The Gotham concrete greets your ass with a very abrupt Hello, how are you this evening? Do you have time to talk about our Lord and Savior— Only for you to nearly see the Lord and savior himself because, while helmets work, your vision goes a little bit dark when your head hits the ground. Leaving you to just lay there like a stunned gaping fish.

Faintly, you can hear a series of oooo’s and damn’s from around you, and see the faint outline someone hovering over you.

“I should've gotten that BBL Becky recommend at this past spring's summer gala. I did not have enough dump truck to cushion that fall.” Comes your pathetic wheezing attempt at humor. Why are you like this? Your ears might be ringing, but the fuck is wrong with you?

Oh, right, you’re Bruce Wayne’s kid. That’s a recipe for coming out the womb a little fucked up. His trauma must’ve imprinted on his sperm. I mean, look at how Damian turned out? That had to be some nature bullshit, not just the assassin nurturing.

"I'm really trying to be concerned, but your sense of humor is making it difficult." Tim looks to be in mild pain from holding back his laughter as he hovers above you. You don't even get a chance to protest before his hands are on you. Respectfully.

I know. Shocking. You lying prone and feeble didn't make him hard. Or, maybe it did. You weren't exactly thinking about checking.

"Remember, thirty seconds. That's all you get."

"Or?"

"I sign you up for the Church of Scientology.” You’re only partially joking. You’d just have a bunch of their fancy books sent to his office and let his employees judge this shit out of him. Nothing too bad.

Though hushing by the grimace in his face and amusement in his eyes when your vision fully comes back, you’d say your threat was at least effective.

“Can’t you do something different as a punishment?” He asks.

You have to fight the urge to make a dirty suggestion. Not because you’re having dirty thoughts. You swear.

But, because the reaction Tim would have would be absolutely priceless.

You don’t, though. It would come out of left field. You’d save it though. You’d drop some filthiness on him later and watch him squirm. Or, run away. One of those two things. Honestly it was a Two-Faced coin toss on how he’d react.

So pass on making that comment about how he could kiss your ass better. And you meant that verbatim.

“It’s not really much of a punishment if you’re giving me a suggestion.”

“It would be. All you’d be doing is telling the others I’d let this happen. You know they’d never let me live this down.” He suggests.

And, you narrow your eyes and lift your head up slightly. Helmet now crooked.

“You want me to tell the others that you let me fall as a punishment?” That sounded more embarrassing for you than anything.

Sure, it was a common enough occurrence for you to be a klutz. You were not blessed with the family grace nor the gift of training with a bunch of monks or assassins or your dad.

But, still that made no sense.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go the Scientology route. Your little suggestion sounds more like a punishment for me than you. I ain’t falling for that. You’re weird.”

“I won't deny that.” Tim continues to grin over your head. And, your starting to suspect he’s enjoying the sight of you on your back.

“Help me up. I’m ready for lunch and you’re paying.”

“You mean Bruce is paying.”

“No. You are paying. Put that CEO bonus paycheck to good use and tip like you mean it.” Your serious. Yes, everyone in the family donated heavily to charity, but the average joe-shmo in Gotham deserved a little help every now and then, too. And, as you take Tim's hand and let him pull you up, the gleam in your eyes shows that your are serious.

And, you may decide to let him lift your full body weight. Just to put those muscles to work outside of the kevlar.

“You’re lucky you're cute…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

You're lucky I love you…

Honestly, after managing to get back to the manor and icing your derriere - since you knew that son of a bitch was going to hurt in the morning, you didn't even pay attention to your bed time routine. You might have missed a step of two, but it's fine.

You could do it in the morning or use it as an excuse to go to your usual Spa. Get out the house and actually be able to think.

Way to many mixed feelings up in this bitch. And, no. You are not talking about the usual brooding and crime related drama.

Although Catwoman was back at stealing a little bit, from what you saw on the Gotham feeds. You'll have to be extra careful about running about the manor. Not because you didn't like her. Selina was great actually. She just always gave you a particular glance like on knew more than what was going on...

You stand there arms deep in your pj drawer blankly staring ahead as you finally conclude what that information means now that you have some extra context.

"She knew… Fuck. No wonder everyone thinks I'm an idiot…" You mutter to yourself as you grab the first article of clothing you find and slide it over your head. Some shirt.

That smells… odd.

"Did I wash this?" You further question yourself. Because why not have some more grand revelations today.

"Eh, it's fine." This wasn't one of them.

Sliding on a pair of lose shorts to complete your nightwear for the evening, you start to climb into bed. Making note to wear your fancy pajamas tomorrow. Sometimes old worn cotton just did the trick after a long day of dealing with family bullshit.

Still, you couldn't figure out why Tim had wanted you to tell the others about it. It didn't make much sense. What? Was he trying to make Jason and Dick jealous by attempting to bond with you as a sibling? Bullshit. You knew he wanted to-

The realization hits you like Truck-kun.

"That asshole took me on a date." You hiss under your duvet. Glaring up at your ceiling. "That sneaky son of- OH GOD! I really am that dumb…"

Taglist:

@ocean-mochi @cupid73 @vanessa-boo @ashtheweird @theall-seeingone @bbmgirll @nervousalpacalady @rovcarmen @rues-lovely-memoir @cgmajor @ruikeremi @themostdelusionalgirl @mazixxss @bellethesleepypotato @bad4amficideas @cruzerforce4256 @galaxypurplerose @wizzerreblogs @kkocho @d-aezy @frogwizard13 @badluckinfrench @farsketch @cruzerforce4256 @00hellohello00 @pigeonl0rd @hunter-hearz-all @eyeless-kun @ee-1ovelifedownthedrain @awawage @minimari415 @hon3ydewcaram3l @caught-the-feels @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @darktrashpoetry @wisefuncherryblossom @shqyou @tvnile @eepywoman @dottoreos @unclearblur @neverano @misaki-kira8 @prorpy @hearts4mica @c4xcocoa @chiara-bell @oliviaewl @letsbedragonstogether @whoareyou3iamyu @cloudedthotz @h0neysiba @chessitune @thanablackwell @holderoflostmemories @allycat4458 @jjoppees @rtyuy1346 @yandereheros @ciatin @haruskrd @batgirliee @ilovecoffe0 @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @heartofblackgoldandpurple @sleepydang @1abi @gaozorous-rex-blog @cheshire-kitsune @flyingpansaurus @watermellonslol @ursa-tan @ppyn @ithoughtthinks @mydarlingelena @sei-x-shi @wannabemiricle @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @redkarmakai @ursa-tan @sharks-r-cool-l @wrenbirde @kobenio @mentallyilldarling @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @smiller975

@milothenightauthor @user848271672 @user848271672 @user848271672 @rorysgarden @leilei-lolo @the-u-brawl-truck @miss-manupilative @hello-kitty-number-1-fan @daughterof-neptune @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @definitely-not-sammie @irenehart02 @solarisstarrsolomonsbeloved @hromni @leeiasure @fto6 @haileybugulug @23s0fia @watercloud-lover @strawbrysapphic @iloveescara @ememgl @lapaufabi @nickey-diano @otakusimp1 @code-darling @3zae-zae3 @mblr9 @chaosandcandies @vampire-oc-lover @ghostdoodlen @rainyturtleyouth @maij121314 @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @batgirliee @pocketful-ofrainbows @wrenbirde @kobenio @laffytaffyspoon @ikeasharkplush @ppyn @daughterof-neptune @miuangel @vinuaei @cens0r3d @coconutx-o @sereinitysmind @yn-wayne @sleepydang @hime44444 @hopperwopper @hoaxno @lilqi @yuutp @chanelxohot @starlight100 @sirenetheblogger @shawtybae3 @iamrgo @k-tsuyuri @rationalelderberry @noisytheoristcat @byzantiumhollow @ivantheterr1ble @minyoonjistan @aesthetic-lyss @bluepartywobblernickel

A/N: I was gonna post this last night, but I was tired and had to get the kids on the bus this morning. And, linking this to all the other parts takes so damn long! Sorry if the taglist is having issues, too! I'm practically a boomer and know hardly nothin' about tech!

What the fuck were you THINKING?

Kissing Jason? Sure, that was platonic as fuck! Could you be more fucking obvious that you were on to them?

God, each step up to your room feels like weighted failure. And, there's a lot of fucking stairs to your room.

"Oh, sure. Cave gets an elevator while my ass has to do cardio to get to bed…" You can't help grumbling under your breath. Or, with what little breath you have left. Doesn't distract you from your thoughts though.

Jason was sure to figure out that you knew about the fanfiction. And, then he'd tell the others. And, then your plans of revenge and torment would go up in smoke.

Poof.

Worse, you can't even tell your best friend about this bullshit because you didn't need to encourage her delusional ass. Plus, the whole secret identity bullshit on top of everything. Didn't wanna blow that like a dime store whore on top of this mess.

Sure, you could go hunt down Cass and see if she would help with damage control. But, one, you didn't feel like climbing the roof to find her. And, two, you didn't want to disappoint her by letting her know your plan went to shit this fast. Clearly you did not get the skillful planning gene. The most useful of all of Bruce's genes. Second maybe to his looks. But, thankful, you kinda got that.

GOD! What if Jason tells Bruce and kills the vibe? What if Bruce confronted you tomorrow? What if-

What if you just made it awkward as hell?

What if you just owned up to your shame? Fuck it all. Go scored earth up in this bitch. Be the elephant in the room you were meant to be.

The idea sinks into your diabolical little noggin as you rush the last couple steps. Moving to your closet to find the one gift you buried in there from your darling best friend. One special bit of fabric that you knew was going to make everyone at the breakfast table gasp or facepalm or look away with embarrassment. Either one of those reactions would be fine.

Pulling it out of the dusty old gift bag, you shook it off and did a quick sniff test. Your nose touching the soft fabric. It actually had a nice texture. Making you pause.

Well, at least this wouldn't be too painful to wear.

Giving yourself the full treatment in the shower with all your products and spa thingies, you prepare for tomorrow by sliding into the garment bestowed upon you by bestie boo.

After all, they were very nice pajamas.

Jason was in mental paradise as he drove back to where your Porsche had been left on the side of the road. Enjoying the night air and messing the feeling of you clinging to him. He can still feel the whisper of your arms wrapped around his torso. An addictive feeling that makes his fingers itch.

And, that darling kiss? God, how adorable could you be? It was just like you to miss and accidentally press your lips to where his would be.

It was almost too much.

The touch and the near taste. He'd have to get the itch out of his system when he got back to his place. Might have to muffle himself in the shower before sitting down to write. Or, maybe it was time to finally let the beast out of it's change.

God, he was going to hell for the thoughts he was having. But, it wasn't like the devil could keep him from you.

And, speaking of the devil, he thought as he saw another bike pulled up behind your temporarily decommissioned vehicle.

"Aren't you supposed to be on patrol, Dickie Bird?" Jason pulled up beside him with a smug look on his face.

"I finished. Guess it's a good thing I did since I managed to replace the tire in about twenty minutes." The older man replies pointedly while leaning against the car. Kicking the spare that was in perfect condition with his foot like he wasn't still wearing his gear and on the outskirts of Gotham.

He knew what was up. Jason personally saw that your car was always in top shape.

"Princess was getting a bit antsy sitting out here all alone. I just took them back to get them out of the cold." Jason wasn't even ashamed to be lying straight to Dick's face. And, it was simple and plan on the other man's that he knew it was all a bunch of malarkey.

"Don’t be a sore loser. Pouting looks pathetic on you." That causes Dick to scoff. His pouting was legendary for getting his way.

"I’m not being a sore loser because you haven’t won anything." His arms uncross from in front of his chest and his casual lean against the car straightens. There's a clear tensing in his shoulders at Jason's next words.

"Yet."

"Oh, come off it." Dick could not roll his eyes any harder from under his mask.

"You seriously think you’re going to pull through with this? You think Bruce would approve?" Jason knows he's being a complete hypocrite, but they all were when it came to you.

"Do you think I care what Bruce thinks?" And, there's no lie in that statement. For all Jason likes to rebel, Dick was the blueprint. Though, in Jason's own humble opinion, he did it better. And, with proper Gotham flare.

"Guess not…" He mutters as silence comes over them like a muzzle. The only sound in the night air are the crickets.

Until Dick breaks it while hitting the auto-drive on his bike and watching it drive itself back the the cave.

"Did you beta read Tim’s newest work?" He asks while Jason tosses him the keys to your car.

"Yeah, I think I might ask him to read over my next chapter." And, there's definitely an edge in his voice as he replies. One that's less angry thoughts and more along the lines of creative thoughts,

"Finally going to add the choking bit?" Dick can't help smirking as he slide into the Porsche. "Finally coming to the dark side?"

"Maybe. I’ll read over yours later if you want." Jason gives him a nod before reeving his bike.

"Thanks." Is the final amiable word between them as one of them heads back to the Manor and the other heads back into Gotham. Both their thoughts filled with delightful and delicious ideas.

Back in the cave Tim re-watched the footage of you kissing Jason's helmet with an look of disdain as he sips on your tea and types away on another case.

"Lucky son of a bitch… Better write a damn good chapter after this…"

"What are muttering about this time?" A gruff voice calls out behind. Coming closer even with the silent footsteps. Nonchalantly, Tim clicks a few more keys, blending it in with his current typing, and the footage is erased just so that is deletes the infamous kiss seemlessly.

"Just a damn case I'm working on, B." He replies with practiced ease as he looks over at Bruce. The cowl down for the night.

"Did Jason get them home safe?"

"Yeah. Flicked off the camera and everything." He continues to type while clicking his tongue.

"I shouldn't have expected anything less." Comes Bruce's barely there sigh as he turns in for the night. "Don't stay up to late working on cases." He calls out as he heads up the elevator. His tone with that usual sternness he had when it came to Tim overworking himself.

"I won't. I'm just going to finish the one while I listen to an audio book." Tim answers back, already putting on his wireless earbuds and double checking the Bluetooth connection.

Bruce doesn't even bat an eye at that idea since it had been Tim's latest hobby starting last year. It seemed healthy enough. Instead he just gives him a nod as the elevator closes.

Tim on the other hand smirks to himself as he presses play on his phone. It had taken some serious coding an audio splicing to get the AI voice generator to replicate your voice just right. But, it was so worth it just to hear you whisper some of his naughtiest fantasies back to him while he worked.

Time for a long night of solving crime.

Taglist:

@ocean-mochi @cupid73 @vanessa-boo @ashtheweird @theall-seeingone @bbmgirll @nervousalpacalady @rovcarmen @rues-lovely-memoir @cgmajor @ruikeremi @themostdelusionalgirl @mazixxss @bellethesleepypotato @bad4amficideas @cruzerforce4256 @galaxypurplerose @wizzerreblogs @kkocho @d-aezy @frogwizard13 @badluckinfrench @farsketch @cruzerforce4256 @00hellohello00 @pigeonl0rd @hunter-hears-all @eyeless-kun @ee-1ovelifedownthedrain @awawage @minimari415 @hon3ydewcaram3l @caught-the-feels @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @darktrashpoetry @wisefuncherryblossom @shqyou @tvnile @eepywoman @dottoreos @unclearblur @neverano @misaki-kira8 @prorpy @hearts4mica @c4xcocoa @chiara-bell @oliviaewl @letsbedragonstogether @whoareyou3iamyu @cloudedthotz @h0neysiba @chessitune @thanablackwell @holderoflostmemories @allycat4458 @jjoppees @rtyuy1346 @yandereheros @ciatin @haruskrd @batgirliee @ilovecoffe0 @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @heartofblackgoldandpurple @sleepydang @1abi @gaozorous-rex-blog @cheshire-kitsune @flyingpansaurus @watermellonslol @ursa-tan @ppyn @ithoughtthinks @mydarlingelena @sei-x-shi @wannabemiricle @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @redkarmakai @ursa-tan @sharks-r-cool-l @wrenbirde @kobenio @mentallyilldarling @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @smiller975 @milothenightauthor @user848271672 @user848271672 @user848271672 @rorysgarden @leilei-lolo @the-u-brawl-truck @miss-manupilative @hello-kitty-number-1-fan @daughterof-neptune @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @definitely-not-sammie @irenehart02 @solarisstarrsolomonsbeloved @hromni @leeiasure @fto6 @haileybugulug @23s0fia @watercloud-lover @strawbrysapphic @iloveescara @ememgl @lapaufabi @nickey-diano @otakusimp1 @code-darling @3zae-zae3 @mblr9 @chaosandcandies @vampire-oc-lover @ghostdoodlen @rainyturtleyouth @maij121314 @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @batgirliee @pocketful-ofrainbows @wrenbirde @kobenio @laffytaffyspoon @ikeasharkplush @ppyn @daughterof-neptune @miuangel @vinuaei

A/N: I don't know which of y'all called me 'mom', but apparently that made me gain the will to fight of my writers block and get this out. Excellent move. I've been buying comic books and building a batcave to try to fight it.

A/N: Everyone is giving me ideas, and I want to implement them all. Somehow. Also, don't worry. Reader's just being dramatic. The game is still on. We're just a silly goose.

A/N: If y'all have any recommendations on who I can commission art for, let me know. I'm really considering it. I love art for fanfics so much. And, I really want some for myself.

You probably shouldn’t be double fisting your bestie’s door and screaming her name at 7 o’clock in the morning. Which is exactly why you wait until 7:15 am to do it.

But, this is an emergency and you were not ready to go back to the manor. You had to compartmentalize all this stuff before moving forward with your plan. And, there was no way in hell you’d be able to do that in the Manor without blowing this whole operation up in your face.

Honestly, you’re almost impressed with yourself for not having done that just yet. Usually your plans would go topsy turvy by now.

Cases in point, your multiple attempts at gaining Bruce’s paternal affections and the rest of your family’s attention since moving in with them a few years back. It was a laundry list of failure and humiliation.

Or, was it?

Oh, well.

Back to banging.

“OPEN THE DOOOOOOOR!”

“What the hell are you doing?! It’s my sleep in weekend! I just wanna chill today, you psycho.” Your bitch of a best friend answers in her one of the t-shirts you bought her while hunched over like the tired little rumpled and lovable urchin she is.

“I have tea. And, it’s hot, spicy, and maybe gonna make you strangle me.” You quickly say before rushing into her apartment. Locking her three locks and deadbolt on the door as if you’re hiding from the devil himself.

“I already want to strangle you.” She grumbles, her hands rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she takes the caffeine drink you stopped and got her on your way.

You weren’t just going to wake someone up without caffeine or an apology. There was no time for apology though.

“No, you probably will strangle me for this.” You nearly grimace as she gives you a raised brow and cracks the can open.

Letting her shotgun it with an awkward silence, you wait.

And, wait. Gotta let it kick in and make sure you have an escape route. The window looks nice.

“Okay, so I’ve been sitting on a juicy bit of information and last night it went from a six to off the scale of shit that’s gone wrong with my life.”

“What happened last night?” She asks with weariness. Prepared for your usual bullshit as she drowns the rest of the drink.

”I was close enough to stick my tongue out and probably taste Nightwing’s dick.”

The drink you bought ended up on your face before you could even shut your mouth. Not how you wanted your morning caffeine rush, but it was somewhat refreshing. Not really.

“What?! D-did you actually lick it?” She sounds like her OTP just got declared cannon and was given a second season of hot sex, tons of fluff, and no miscommunication tropes.

“No. I just said I was close enough to lick it.” You might as well have just chucked her out the window with how depressed she suddenly looked. Your eye twitching has nothing to due with your ire. That was just a weird family trait.

“Please, don’t tell me you’ve been manifesting about me giving Nightwing head.”

“I won’t tell you then. Explain. Now. I NEED details.” She practically shook you like a bobblehead on a trucker’s dashboard. Boing.

“Okay. Okay. So, I was at my usual spa...” You start to say while waiting for your brain to stop bouncing in your skull.

“And?!”

“And, he was in the hot tub. Already in it. And— And, he apparently goes commando under his suit.” You definitely suck at story telling, but she was acting like the words coming from your mouth were gospel. "Do you wanna take notes?"

"Fuck yes." The sigh that escapes your lips was inevitable as you watch your best friend in this Godforsaken city pull out her phone to type some notes.

Only to watch her freeze and her face to go from being worshipful to looking like a miracle was just preformed in front of her. Which instantly made you feel very afraid. What could distract her from asking you multiple repetitive questions about Nightwing's dick?

"It updated..." Oh, no. OH. NO.

"What updated? What could've possibly updated right at this very moment?" It was a fic. It had to be a fic. But, what fic? The top fic in your personal fandom was...

"The Red Hood fic just updated. And, the author added more tags." Time seems to stand still. For your friend is was a moment of bliss. For you, not so much when you looked over her shoulder at the email notification on her phone and blanched.

"IT'S 7:30 IN THE MORNING? WHO THE FUCK PUBLISHES SMUT AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING?" Fucking Jason Peter Todd, that's who. You're definetly feeling a bit faint. All of them. All of them were hedonistic perverts. Every. Single. ONE.

"I'm not emotionally ready for this..." This bitch.

"The fuck you mean you're not emotionally ready for this?! HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!"

“Oh, right… Hey, maybe you can—“

“If ask me to read this shit out loud for you, I swear to Jesus, I’m gonna cunt punch you.”

How are you going to do this? Like, how in the actually fuck are you going to do this?

Jason writing smut was not on your bingo card ever, but here we are. And, the issue was not NOT reading it. You were already going to hell, might as well high five the Devil on the way there.

No, no, NO.

This issue was where were you going to read it? In your room, where people might hear you banging your head on the floor? Bad idea, but might be your only choice.

Bestie’s apartment was out because you knew she got giggly when she read her cliterature. And, that was not good for your mental health. Or, what was left of it.

In the car in a parking garage? No, there were cameras and the Stellaluna squad would get suspicious. Fuck.

Secret spot in the garden ? Once again, no. Because of Damian’s fucking turkeys. Fucking Jerry and Susan. You should get a pet too and make them deal with it.

Already did a spa day so you couldn’t pull another one. Jesus, you still were reeling from the near dick experience.

Ah, shit. Everyone else was gonna know about that… Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. Steph was gonna be a menace and you’d have to play it cool stupid so the boys did suspect your knowledge of this situation.

Fuck, there was no privacy in Gotham. Orwell had nothing on this shit . This is not the Big Brother you’d read about in high school. It was worse. And, you were officially paranoid.

Such thoughts had to come to an abrupt halt as you finish your drive back to the manor. Praying to anyone that no one who breathed was home. Maybe Bruce. Though you would not be looking the Big Bat Motherfucker in his eyes.

Not out of shame. But, because it would be awkward as hell.

Plus, you know, daddy issues. Enough said.

At this rate you might as well go find a secret hidey hole somewhere in the manor and hide under a blanket to read.

Jesus Christ you really were hiding under a blanket to read this. You had the bright idea of hiding up the movie room, picking a random horror movie, and just pretending to scroll on your phone while watching. Using the jump scares as a way to scroll, read, and hide your screaming.

Because you were fucking scream.

“Letting my lips touch any part of your skin would make my chest burst open.” Oh, that was definitely making you scream.

The way it describes him pushing you back only to kiss the arch of your foot while his hands trail up your ankle and calves made your hands shake while holding your phone. Breathing growing a little more difficult by the second.

And, then you lost your shit when Red Hood flipped your literary counterpart over and pressed kisses up your spine to your ear. One hand around your throat, in a gentle way - fuck, that was getting added to your kink list - and the other hand—

“Oh, damn. That's hot.”

AND, IT DIDN'T STOP!

So many different ways he wrote about stretching you, touching you, loving you. Working you into a frenzy. And, then letting his fingers trail across your ribs and hook on your jaw to taste your tongue even though the fun part was over? THE WAY HE WROTE ABOUT SAVORING EVERY PART OF YOU AND EACH WORD OF PRAISE HE HAD TO SAY WHILE HOLDING YOU LIKE YOUR WERE HIS BREATH?!

Oh, yeah you creamed— I mean screamed! You were screaming. In an appropriate way.

Maybe.

Fuck.

Movie over. Life changed. And, tingling in your gut had you rubbing your hands over your face as you sat there and contemplated what your life was becoming.

“I need to up my game.”

And, you knew who you needed to see about that.

To the Batcave.

🌥️Ko-Fi Link

A/N: Look, I tried with the implications. But, I kinda realized, I wanna save the actual juicy stuff for Reader's reality. 😉 I have no clue who they're ending up with though, don't come at me.

After scurrying back up to your room to avoid any further incidents, mostly because you only had enough embarrassment you could handle before you lost all your nerve and turned into a hermit or a recluse. You know, like Bruce.

And, that was horrifying.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much left you could do for that day. Shameful as it was. Expensive hobbies were only so much fun if you were good at them and you had already run your recent errands.

Better go harass bestie and throw twenty’s at the tip jar every hour to make up for it. She’ll be happy to know her gift finally got some good use.

Damian knew you left a while ago. After checking your location on the family app, he had figured you'd be at your friend's place of employment. Which he didn't understand. Both the friend and the location.

But, you needed a sense of normalcy so he supposed it would be fine to indulge you. Though he wishes your friend had some more decorum. She always made your impulses worse and they were already fairly severe.

Regardless, he had his task for the day mentally decided as he had passed Alfred making his was to the gardens for some fresh air. Moving up the steps of the manor and to the top floor, he bypassed his room and walked to yours.

Bugging your room was something he would not tolerate. So he had taken it upon himself to comb your quarters occasionly to make sure the other's did no such thing.

Opening the door to your room, he was mildly surprised to be greeted with the sight of Tim. There were certainly no rules about anyone entering your room while you were gone. But, it was the glint off his eyes that made Damian tilt his head as his only form of curiosity.

"Seriously, Drake? You've lowered yourself to the level of snooping?" He knew Tim followed the no bugging rule. He had other methods of observation that involved the security cameras on the balcony connect to your room. Which the others also used as well.

"I'm not snooping. I'm gifting. There's a distinctive difference." Tim mutters as he goes back to rearranging things in your walk in closet.

"I fail to see it." Damain replies as he moves into the room. His eyes sharpening as he observe.

"Of course you do. Just like you failed to see them in the Nightwing pajamas this morning." Tim holds up the offending clothing like it had scorned him before tossing it on the floor.

"I wasn't aware they owned such garments." Damian nearly clicked his tongue. That explained Dick's chipper mood this morning.

"Neither was I. But, not anymore." Tim smugly says with clear intent to throw the Nightwing nightwear into the Bat Incinerator.

"Surely, your not replacing it with your own nightwear." He had to fight the urge to narrow his eyes at Tim again. Suspicion aroused once more.

"No." A blatant lie even as he held up a shopping bag of custom Red Robin merch to show case what he was supposedly doing.

He definitely didn't shove all your current pajamas in the laundry shoot and replace them with his own shirts that he had worn recently. Don't worry, they weren't dirty.

It's just the thought of you sleeping in the fabric that had been pressed against his own skin made him shiver. And, the thought of his cologne wrapping around you and invading your senses made him ache in multiple places.

"Just making sure they have better options that just Nightwing in they're wardrobe. Don't worry. I made sure there was some Robin items in here as well." Tim knew that would butter him up.

For all Damian liked to act like Bruce, he knew the thought of you showing silent support for what they did for this city would soften him up enough for him to miss the shirts he had left for you.

"Proceed then." Came his final reply as he began his inspection. Possibly missing the shirts that now replaced your nightwear.

You’d previously sat in at your best friend’s workplace four hours on end like this before. It was a nice little escape from the manor and the usual elitist haunts you would usually find yourself. Sorta your own private little place on the middle class side of town where the most fearful thing was a Karen.

And, Gotham Karen’s were a different fucking breed. Even Joker hesitated to touch those PTA meetings.

So, it was somewhat peaceful now that they were all done with their morning kid drop off and you were left at your reserved table in the coffee shop with delicate peace. Not that it was anything special or actually reserved. Just less sticky than most things there and you had some nice sunlight on you.

Currently, you were using your best friend's phone to snoop on your fandom since Tim might be tracking your data now.

God, that sounded so egotistical despite how true it was.

And, there was a lot in this fandom. Like, way more than you anticipated. Including a whole ass discord server. Which your best fiend was surprisingly not a moderator for. Apparently, she wasn't even the most dedicated fan you had. There were others out there in Gotham. Like Harley.

Don't think about it. You'll get an aneurysm.

"Am I a cult leader or the cult object?" You mumble to yourself as you go through some of these other fics. You were saving the ones Dick wrote for bed time.

Why? Because you knew you'd be screaming into the void after and you wanted to stop by the nearest church on the way back to pick up some holy water. You'd be either throwing it on your eyes or drinking it after to cleanse your soul of inappropriate feelings.

Some of the fics you found were absolutely batshit insane. Pun fully intended.

Like high school AU. You shudder at the thought of having to take one of the boys to prom. Bruce didn't let you go back then so this was probably the closest you'd ever get to going. So fucking sad.

ABO fics where you always ended up a breed-able Omega.

"Why does everyone want me to be bred so badly?" Probably because that was one of the more expensive kinks to have in this economy and the guys would make pretty good baby daddies.

Pause.

Nope, we are not going back and reevaluating that last thought. We gonna forget that thought. What thought? There are no thoughts. YOU ARE A THOT.

Anyway, what were you reading again? Oh, yeah, all the different fics about your special little self.

What else was there?

Oh, Lord. There were neglect fics…

And, some got crazy characterizations in them.

"They made Cass the attention loving mean girl? Cass?!" Yet, Orphan was still the super mysterious baddass. "Really does feel like two different people when they write like this…"

And, sometimes these fics would spiral into bootleg Count of Monty Cristo levels of revenge with petty high school drama galore.

"Why does everyone think I need to leave Gotham to get hot? How do I get hot at these other places? Am I not hot now? Why am I not hot? What’s wrong with m to these people?" Better move on before you actually get offended.

Holy shit! There was a fanfic of Bruce selling you to the Bat Family for some reason. Since when did people think Batman just bought kids-

No. Wait, that could make sense. He always popped up with kids in costumes. And, while you had the gift of hind sight. These people didn't. At least you end up with your own vigilante persona here.

Still, the entire thing made you cackle to yourself as you hear the door to the coffee shop open for the twentieth time. Thankfully you glance up in time to see Tim Drake walking to the counter, acting all normal.

This motherfucking stalker...

Taglist:

@ocean-mochi @cupid73 @vanessa-boo @ashtheweird @theall-seeingone @bbmgirll @nervousalpacalady @rovcarmen @rues-lovely-memoir @cgmajor @ruikeremi @themostdelusionalgirl @mazixxss @bellethesleepypotato @bad4amficideas @cruzerforce4256 @galaxypurplerose @wizzerreblogs @kkocho @d-aezy @frogwizard13 @badluckinfrench @farsketch @cruzerforce4256 @00hellohello00 @pigeonl0rd @hunter-hearz-all-all @eyeless-kun @ee-1ovelifedownthedrain @awawage @minimari415 @hon3ydewcaram3l @caught-the-feels @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @darktrashpoetry @wisefuncherryblossom @shqyou @tvnile @eepywoman @dottoreos @unclearblur @neverano @misaki-kira8 @prorpy @hearts4mica @c4xcocoa @chiara-bell @oliviaewl @letsbedragonstogether @whoareyou3iamyu @cloudedthotz @h0neysiba @chessitune @thanablackwell @holderoflostmemories @allycat4458 @jjoppees @rtyuy1346 @yandereheros @ciatin @haruskrd @batgirliee @ilovecoffe0 @calicocat-ina-tuxedo @heartofblackgoldandpurple @sleepydang @1abi @gaozorous-rex-blog @cheshire-kitsune @flyingpansaurus @watermellonslol @ursa-tan @ppyn @ithoughtthinks @mydarlingelena @sei-x-shi @wannabemiricle @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @redkarmakai @ursa-tan @sharks-r-cool-l @wrenbirde @kobenio @mentallyilldarling @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @smiller975 @milothenightauthor @user848271672 @user848271672 @user848271672 @rorysgarden @leilei-lolo @the-u-brawl-truck @miss-manupilative @hello-kitty-number-1-fan @daughterof-neptune @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @definitely-not-sammie @irenehart02 @solarisstarrsolomonsbeloved @hromni @leeiasure @fto6 @haileybugulug @23s0fia @watercloud-lover @strawbrysapphic @iloveescara @ememgl @lapaufabi @nickey-diano @otakusimp1 @code-darling @3zae-zae3 @mblr9 @chaosandcandies @vampire-oc-lover @ghostdoodlen @rainyturtleyouth @maij121314 @maaaahhhiii @jazzyier @batgirliee @pocketful-ofrainbows @wrenbirde @kobenio @laffytaffyspoon @ikeasharkplush @ppyn @daughterof-neptune @miuangel @vinuaei @cens0r3d @coconutx-o @sereinitysmind @yn-wayne @sleepydang @hime44444 @hopperwopper @hoaxno @lilqi @yuutp @chanelxohot @starlight100 @sirenetheblogger @shawtybae3 @iamrgo

A/N: I'm totally making fun of my own writing in this chapter. Not anyone else's!

A/N: I like keeping the chapters for this series at about 1k because it makes it quick to get them out. I'll write about maybe 150-300 words of the next chapter right after I finish one. Which makes it easier to met that goal the next chapter if I don't get writers block.