#fandom:pokemon

„I knew I’d find you here,” he stated, his voice a softer than you were used to, as though he feared he’d disturb something if he were to speak louder.  You took a few seconds before turning your head to the side, just enough so you could see him from the corner of your eyes. Instead of nodding, you slowly closed your eyes before opening them again just as slowly; a silent acknowledgement of his presence. His steps were easily audible on the stone floor of the dull gray rooftop terrace. Your gaze returned to its former position, locking somewhere in the far distance as you bent your knees, resting your arms on top. From up here, the people, the cars, the lights, everything down there might have looked even tinier than children’s toys, but you didn’t pay attention to any of the aforementioned. Instead, you were looking past all that into the night sky gradually becoming one with the darkness of the water as they were closing in on each other, forming a barely still visible horizon. Although you were looking, you weren’t truly seeing anything. The longer you forced your eyes to remain open, the blurrier your vision became, the bright lights of Castelia City swimming into and staining the darkness of the sky. You finally blinked when your eyes wouldn’t stay open any longer, moistening your cornea that had become dry and irritated. You barely noticed him sitting down next to you on the cold stone floor of the rooftop. It wasn’t until his hand found yours, his fingers entwining around yours and resting on your knee, that you paid him the slightest bit of attention. The warmth of his skin contrasted the coldness of your bare legs so severely, it felt almost uncomfortable at first. “You’ll always find me here.” You didn’t look at him, but you knew he was smiling. He had become used to the idea that trying to talk to you during these nights was a useless endeavor. “Why do you come out here during the nights?” He had to keep himself from biting his own tongue, scolding himself for his inability to think before speaking. He had wanted to gain your confidence ever since he had first noticed your unusual nocturnal behavior. Hoping that his nosiness hadn’t intimidated you, he waited for a reply. You surprised him by lightly squeezing his hand that was still holding yours. “I can’t sleep. Never.” You paused. “Ever since we came here, it feels like the nights are eating me up.” You hesitated once more before continuing, feeling somewhat glad that he didn’t interrupt you. “Being out here helps. It feels like… like…” You were searching an idiom fitting the sensation you were trying to put into words. Eventually you settled on one. “Like I cease to exist.” Your melancholy struck him to the core. Nonetheless, he tried his best to keep the smile on his face. His hand left yours and he put his arm around your shoulders instead, pulling your smaller form into his larger one. Both of his arms wrapped around you in a sideways embrace. He felt your breath against his neck and closed his eyes, his lungs filling with your scent. He had known from the very beginning that being with you was never going to be easy.

“I can’t give you an answer that I don’t know myself.” He paused, carefully picking out the words he wanted to say in his head. “All I can say is that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for not coming back.” You lifted your head off his chest, taking a step back. His grip on you loosened in the process, arms dropping to his sides. On his face, you could see a look of shame. It was that of a broken man. And suddenly, the tiny flame of anger that had just lit up inside your chest was extinguished. After all, you now knew that he was just as lost as you were. “I waited for you. I waited so long. For almost three years, Black.” Your sorrow made his heart ache. “Why are you here now?” It took you a moment to answer. A few drops of water hit your skin; it had begun drizzling. There were so many things you wanted to say, so many thoughts that made your head spin, and so little you could form into words. “I decided to become a trainer myself. In order to find you, that’s what I needed to do. And I finally did, after all this time, I finally found you.” “That’s… that’s not what I meant.” You tried to look into his eyes, but his gaze shifted away from yours, avoiding it. “Why did you do all that… for me? I hurt you. I deserted you. I don’t deserve you.” When he finally looked at you again, he saw a smile on your face. A small smile that held such sadness, he was paralyzed. Your eyes were glistening with tears, but you were smiling nonetheless. “Because nothing made sense like we made sense ever since.” Your hands found the back of his neck. He didn’t hesitate; instead, he leaned down, meeting you halfway in a passionate kiss that held all the unspoken emotion, all the things neither of you was able to say. A loud roll of thunder could be heard and not a second later, the both of you were caught in the rain. It had come so suddenly and heavily you were drenched to the bone in the matter of moments, but you couldn’t have cared less. All that mattered was this instant, the way his open mouth moved delicately against yours. The cold rain against your skin made his body that was pressed against yours seem even warmer in comparison. You fit against him so perfectly, he wondered how he could ever have wanted to give this up. However, this was not the time for thinking, but for acting impulsively. So he did. He pulled himself away from the kiss, leaving both of you breathing heavily, panting for air. Taking your face in his hands, he brushed away the soaked strands of hair that clung to your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re so beautiful.” His words came out rushed, almost as if what he was saying was something that he was late with and that needed to be said as quickly as possible. “You’re beautiful and I love you.” He kissed you again, harder than before.

You woke up to an indistinct mélange of voices reaching your ears. As the moments passed, it slowly became clearer. Your eyes opened and you blinked a few times, your vision falling into place and the realization that you were back in the Ranger Station in Camp Shiver dawning on you. Through the open door of the small room you had been staying in for the past weeks you could hear people talking. You recognized that of Pamur. Pamur – he was the one coefficient about this whole situation that had been keeping you sane so far. If it weren’t for him, you might have long since committed suicide by drowning yourself in the Ice Lake. And unless you were mistaken, there was only one other person he was talking to. No sooner had you finished that thought, said other person entered your chamber. Once you saw the copper-haired adolescent, memories flooded your brain. You remembered the events that had occurred in the Hia Valley and also, more importantly, you realized something you hadn’t that night. Your senses hadn’t been fooling you; you did know the guy. The both of you had been classmates back at the Ranger School. “Hey, Keith.” Your voice sounded hoarse and you felt just how dry your throat was. He threw you a surprised look, stepping next to your bed. “How come you know my name?” Surprise still evident in his tone, he leaned down towards you a little and you noticed the cup he was holding, his pose indicating that you were to take it. You sat up, stuffing your pillow behind your back to make yourself more comfortable, and did so. Keith sat down on the edge of your bed and turned a little to be able to look at you. Taking a small sip of the hot chocolate he had offered you, you relished the taste for a moment before finally answering. “Don’t you recall? We went to school together.” Judging from the look on his face, no, he didn’t recall. “Really..?” He seemed to think for a few moments. “I don’t remember you though. Sorry, [Name].” You concluded that Pamur had given him your name. “That’s ‘cause you never pay attention to anything.” He was going to object, but you didn’t let him. “Either way, we never talked to each other anyways.” A short silence arose. A minute or two later, he continued without changing the topic. “But if you and I were in the same class, how come Pamur said you only just became a ranger?” Although you didn’t feel comfortable answering his question, you eventually did. “They didn’t let me graduate the first time ‘round.” All of a sudden, the atmosphere of the conversation had changed from comfortable to awkward. He didn’t say anything for a while and you were surprised he didn’t ask about the reasons for your failure. Back in the school days, you had always perceived him as somebody loud and somewhat obnoxious. Nonetheless, he had always been someone you envied for his success. Even aafter he had graduated, you hadn't had much of a choice but to follow his rise to glory; he had been dominating the headlines of every newspaper recently. “So…” He paused. “You don’t need to worry about that Glaceon any longer. I found it and the lady’s happy again.” His attempt at changing the subject failed horribly. Instead of distracting you from your negative thoughts, he only encouraged them. Not only had you failed your mission, but he had once again proven to you just how much better of a ranger he was than you would ever be. You struggled so hard and still failed while he didn’t even have to really try in order to reach his goals. “How do you do it?” you asked. “Do what?” You hesitated before answering. “How are you so good at everything? You’ve barely been a pokémon ranger for a year, and you’re already a top ranger. But not just that. You come ‘round here by coincidence and not only do you complete the mission I wasn’t able to finish with ease, but you also rescue me at the same time, like it’s not a big deal. None at all.” A shiver ran down your spine when you realized that what you had just said was actually true. For a reason you weren’t able to define, it had always been like that, your whole life. No matter how hard you tried, you lagged behind. When he tried to look into your eyes, you averted your gaze. You were feeling incredibly self-conscious all of a sudden. “Hey,” he said softly. When you still didn’t show any reaction, his hand found the side of your face, his bare fingertips warm against your cold skin. He leaned towards you slightly, breathing in the scent of cocoa coming from the cup you were still holding. Your eyes finally met his. “Don’t put yourself down so much.” And his lips met yours. You’re always ahead of the rest When I’m always on time. You got A’s on your algebra tests. I failed and they kept me behind. I just gotta get off my chest That I think you’re divine. You’re always ahead of the rest While I drag behind.