I headcanon that Raphael is all about cheesy, romantic things (for better or worse). Being the visage of a perfect gentleman. Swooping in as the gallant, princely savior. Being chosen over other suitors.
He'd shower you in roses and gifts. He'd set up scenarios for himself to be the hero. He'd meticulously take note of little things he notices about you through direct interaction or spying to exploit later. Obsessively writing about you in his little diary from bed while giddily kicking his feet.
Those gifts might be finery (perhaps taken from some unfortunate soul), questionable poetry, and the heart of your enemy, but any way you cut it, everything is about showing off his prowess, his status, his ability to provide, and why he's better. He likes his complex games and the slow pursuit.
I think he'd be pretty devoted if only to maintain that image of being perfect. At least while his focus is on you. He might have some dumpster fires behind curtains, don't look there.
The mortal part of him may even crave true affection, devotion, and a coy, storybook courtship. Very much a "only soft for" vibe. That he can slowly corrupt. He'd love someone who could match a lot of his energy and ambition. Someone he can show off and have on his arm.
It could also explain why he (at least publicly) dresses more conservatively and akin to a human noble instead of like many other cambions and devils. While it probably helps disarm his targets to look more like a human noble when they first meet him, he could also enjoy the romantics it allows (he's into a lot of mortal things despite his denial of his own mortal blood). I have a related pet theory that his comfort with mortals/mortal things may come from being raised or forced to live in the Material Plane for at least a time. He really likes lullabies.
Would he be a good lover in bed? That is up to anyone's interpretation but I personally think it's likely that there isn't much love between him and Haarlep and not many probably match up to the standards of an experienced incubus (one of these days I'll go on my spiel about Haarlep). Haarlep's a cheeky devil themself. At the very least, Raphael probably thinks himself fantastic in bed and a perfectly giving lover (even if he's not).
He'd be the big, evil devil guarding the gilded cage he's put his beloved in from do-gooders and the covetous.
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Well, got told today that my team will now be required to work an additional hour per day for no apparent reason and it's not being equally applied to other other teams. I'm seeking compensation for the change at least (formally emailed HR) but not hopeful. I've increasingly felt like I'm in an abusive relationship with my employer but the job market's so shit that I haven't had any luck yet getting a better job. My partner was laid off (his ex-company is trying to replace their QC team with AI) and has now put in over 300 applications that have resulted in 2 interviews total. With overlap in our skill sets, I am not terribly confident in my own chances.
On top of all the stress over my health.
Sorry so many of my projects and conversations have fallen off, I've just had no mental bandwidth and decreasing time to put towards creative pursuits...
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I think especially younger fandom members and creators need to hear this because it's not advice that I see nearly as often anymore and part of that may be because my gen (Millennials) heard it a lot and often take it as Just Something You Know (though I think we also sometimes need the reminder). But we're older now and there are those younger than us that may not have the experience we do, especially if we just assume they know better (and younger and younger people are online now). It's part of Online Safety 101. I've linked to a couple resources near the bottom.
A troll is someone who shows up in a space and is purely there to upset someone and cause drama/chaos. All they're seeking is attention and the enjoyment they get from upsetting you. They do not care about facts, your feelings, or anything else you throw at them. They will argue in bad faith. They will commit the cardinal sin of Being Wrong on the Internet. They will accuse you of committing the cardinal sin of Being Wrong on the Internet. They will make fun of your favorite character, your art, your writing, you, your friends, your dog, any and everything. They will tell you that how you enjoy or interpret your favorite thing(s) is Wrong or Bad. They love to cause drama in and between groups. Peaceful coexistence is often what they want to disrupt.
Some spaces will unfortunately draw more trolls than others.
In this PSA, I'm not quite referring to the "trolling" term that is also used interchangeably to mean "joking" or "fooling around" with the intent to get a raise out of someone but not necessarily to upset them. Though that can easily lead to this.
Resist the Urge to Feed Them.
("Feed them" being "give them attention.")
Don't give them attention by responding to them or giving them any kind of space on your blog/page/whatever. That's what they want. That's what they live off of. They want the hate because it means they've gotten under your skin and in your head and that makes them happy. They may have an agenda, they may have no specific agenda.
This can be so hard because it's natural to feel the need to defend yourself, someone else, and/or the things you enjoy. It can feel good to correct or engage someone who comes at you swinging. But they often don't stop. They will keep leeching your time and energy, especially if you allow them to.
You lose nothing by not engaging them. They bring nothing of value.
Engaging them can bring drama and hurt in your spaces and this may not only affect you. This can tear apart fandom spaces, cause rifts in groups, and pit people against each other. And then you're all unhappy and you have these negative associations of interacting with something that previously brought you joy. It causes people to stop creating, to stop engaging with others in the fandom, and to even leave fandoms.
And that is the goal of many trolls.
If you feel the need to address something they've said publicly, do not link their post/message/blog/name/etc. You want to give them as little of the attention as possible - you're addressing the accusation/concern/subject/whatever specifically, not them. Don't even relate it back to them if you can prevent it.
Some very non-exhaustive examples of what can be trolling behaviors:
They leave nastygrams in your inbox/Ask box.
They leave negative comments or reblogs on your post.
They leave unsolicited "critique."
They'll tell you that how you interpret X is wrong.
"Your blorbo would never do that!"
"X should never be shipped with Y!"
Antis (the people or groups that don't agree with certain content and try to get others to stop making/sharing it [being anti-X doesn't make you a troll, but going into the space for X and telling those people that they're wrong for liking X is trolling/harassment])
Someone comes into your fandom niche and tells you all that You're Wrong
They may behave inappropriately or send inappropriate things
They don't always use provocative language - they may be very polite (all the easier to make you seem like the unreasonable one if they do get a rise out of you). Still trolling.
They'll do or say things to try to get support from others in order to turn it on you/someone or pit "sides" against each other
They may lie and/or try to spread rumors
"You/they made this with A.I!" is a common accusation towards artists/writers I'm seeing now that has absolutely been picked up by trolls and is unfortunately spreading (please always make sure that you are informed and don't jump on the hate wagon just because you see others doing so - do your own research and demand credible sources/proof [learn what "proof" is per context]). I've seen this kind of accusation disrupt artists' livelihoods just based on someone's say-so that others piled on with no credible claims.
It is okay to have differences.
People are allowed to be Wrong on the Internet, but that doesn't mean that they're owed a response or that you can't delete their comments. You can delete comments on your page just because you feel like it (though "I don't like it." or "This makes me feel uncomfortable." are perfectly fine, non-exhaustive reasons).
If you don't engage them, they will often simply go away. You're not fun if you don't give them attention. You're not going to change their behavior (please don't waste your time trying). Some may try harder to get you to notice or reply to them, but they generally won't stick around for long. They'll move on.
Curate your blog/social/fandom space.
(You'll be so much happier and healthier for it.)
Do not engage them.
Block them.
Report them.
Delete their DMs, comments, etc.
Use the moderation tools that you have.
You are under no obligation to accept every 'friend' request, or allow everyone to 'follow' you or engage with you on social media or let into your Discord server or into your little fandom or Tumblr friend group, etc etc. If someone is causing drama, kick them out! Don't feel the need to keep giving them chances to behave, either. Don't be afraid to put your foot down and be firm.
If they pop their head back up (maybe even under a new name), block them again, report them again, delete their messages again. Do not engage. Move on. Dealing with trolls is often like playing whack-a-mole. Send them to the void with the spambots.
You will be happier not engaging them.
Honestly, the above works in similar scenarios, too (not just random strangers)!
Uncle Joe keeps ranting on your page and upsetting you and/or your friends? Delete his comments. Block/unfriend him. Don't feel obligated to keep troublesome family members involved on your social media. Or even in your life.
If the above is someone that you can't simply block (there are valid reasons), sites like Facebook allow you to make lists that you can use to control who sees which of your posts.
You may have to remind your friends, followers, or others in the fandom to not feed the trolls.
You are the moderator of your own spaces. If this is a public space or a private group space that you don't control, politely inform a moderator or someone who has the authority to deal with the troll (sometimes all you can do is hit a report button and/or block them).
Learn the moderation and safety tools that you do have for the platform/app you're using:
How to unfollow/unfriend someone
How to report and block someone
How to turn off read receipts for things like chats and emails
How to turn off online status
How to contact site staff
How to turn off reblogs/comments/etc
How to turn off anonymous/guest messages or comments
How to delete comments
How to moderate comments, etc, on your works (ex: AO3 has an option for all story comments to be approved before they're posted on your work)
How to privatize your profile
How to back up and delete your content
How to filter content
Thoroughly read through all settings (I recommend doing this periodically as settings frequently get updated or change)
Learn where and who you can turn to for help
Read the platform's FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions), Rules, and Terms of Service (TOS)
Etc
And again, They will Argue in Bad Faith.
They may accuse you of not being fair, of not allowing them to participate, of leaving them out, of ignoring them, of not "liking" them, of being "mean" to them, of your silence "agreeing" with them or meaning they're "right." They may accuse you of being a bad person or condoning bad things IRL. They may accuse you of any number of wild things. They may say they're just "being the devil's advocate" or of defending their own fandom interests. They may call you names and insult you. They may say that they have private information about you that they'll leak/share or that they'll do X if you don't do Y - this is almost certainly a bluff, but this is part of why it's important to protect your private information and be careful about what you post online. They may say that something you've done is illegal and that they're going to report you to the police (again, very likely bluffing just to scare you). They may even say that they'll harm themselves. There's a lot of crossover between spammer/scammer and troll tactics (often they are one and the same).
That's what they do.
Don't take their words personally.
They just want to guilt you into allowing them to stay and continue causing drama.
It is okay to give people chances.
But you do not need to keep giving them chances.
In your spaces, you don't even need to give them a chance or an explanation.
I have become very liberal with how I deal with trolls. I block on sight in many cases. I don't give them ground to even start if it can be helped. But part of that is just due to experience - you gain the ability to recognise them pretty fast (a lot of it is simply pattern recognition), the difficult part is usually in how you choose to deal with them.
If someone is being particularly problematic, keep a paper trail (like screen shotting their messages with time stamps), but otherwise block+report is usually still the thing to do. If they are threatening harm to you, someone else, or themselves, report them (if you're a minor, tell a trusted adult). If you don't know what to do or you're scared, reach out to someone you trust for support. Trolling is a form of online bullying that can escalate to other forms of harrassment - a majority of the time, simply not engaging them helps prevent this, otherwise know that tools and resources are available for help. Just because it's "online" doesn't mean it isn't real or impactful or can't have "real life" consequences - there are agencies (like the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center) that you can file a report with or contact for help.
My dog had been pouting in the corner, occasionally looking back and whining at me because he, too, wants cookies. (Can't have - gave him his own treat, still wants mine)
Dog gets up, leaves room.
Three minutes later, he's alarm-barking at the door like someone's trying to break it down. I get up to go check it out.
I walk from my bedroom to the living room and as I get to the door, he flies back to my bedroom like he's on a mission.
He is. To steal cookies.
The lying liar made a scene at the door deliberately to trick me into getting up in the hopes that I would abandon my cookies.
Joke's on him, I took them with me.
He circled my bedroom trying to root them out like I hid them. And is now back to moping in the corner because his plan failed and he is cookieless.
Though taking food with me is only a habit I developed over several years because his older brother used to do the same exact thing when he was far more spry...
I have the kind of ADHD where forgetting my password and there being multiple steps to reset it and having to login again everywhere is enough to keep me from using a site/soc media for months.
