#fanaticism

José de Brito (1855–1946)

Martyr of the fanaticism

oil on canvas, c. 1895

You see it in Stilgar; at the start of Dune he's a compassionate and caring leader with a small sense of humor to him and a capacity for mercy. By the end Stilgar has lost all of that, he's just another rabid follower in a sea of millions. Paul even comments on it in the book, thinking to himself that Stilgar is lesser now because of his fanaticism. Not lesser compared to Paul mind you, Stilgar is lesser at the end of Dune than he was at the start. Stilgar may live and breathe, but the man he was is simply dead; smothered by a fanatical devotion to the Lisan Al-Gaib.

For not blindly supporting blatant Russian and Chinese imperialism and blindly defending the Soviet Union. Primarily.

Among other things.

Calling me all sorts of shit like a CIA puppet (I’d sooner die than work for them), a traitor (to what?!), betrayer of “the cause”, and so on.

What, do they want me to apologise and blindly submit to their bullshit for not being appropriately fanatical?

Away with that shite!

Art about hyperfixations.

I think this topic is familiar to many people, most have experienced hyperfixations.

Two years ago on Tumblr, I came across an artist’s account. I really loved their drawings, their style, their presentation, their ideas!! They drew the things I loved, the things I liked! I started diving deeper into their account and found their comic. That comic immediately set my heart on fire, I loved everything about it, just like their other art. The concept, the presentation, the visuals, the story. That comic captivated me. I started looking up to this artist, I want to be like them. To have the same perspectives, to draw the same kinds of ideas... I admire this person, and my fanaticism hasn’t faded. And it probably won’t, as long as this artist stays active online and keeps posting.

But what’s so bad about that? After all, it’s normal to find someone you idolize and look up to them. The thing is, like many people with hyperfixations, I tend to feel shame about my “obsession.” I often draw fan art of this person, I frequently comment on their posts and shower them with compliments, and I feel incredibly embarrassed about it, like I’m being clingy or invading their personal space, even though they’re just normal comments... This person doesn’t react to any of it, and they don’t have to!! But that feeling of silence... I feel so ashamed in front of them because of my fanaticism. I can’t just stop thinking about their comic or their work in general, and I can’t stop showering them with compliments because I want them to know just how damn amazing they are!! And that someone truly finds them interesting!! But it seems like they don’t need or want fanaticism, they run their accounts purely as a hobby, not chasing popularity.

I hope I don’t come across as TOO cringey in their eyes, I genuinely feel bad if I did anything wrong with my fanaticism...