●○ On Cathedrals and Surface Tension ✦ What follows is a meditation on the architecture of vulnerability. It describes minds as spaces—some cavernous, some fortified—and the conditions that allow entry. Read this not as a key, but as a blueprint for contemplation.

✦ ᚺ ᚢ ᚲ ᚺ ✦

People like to say that “everyone is the same.” What a charming delusion.

Some minds fall deeper for one simple reason: they’re built for it.

The sensitive ones— the ones who grew up analyzing every flicker of emotion in a room— they already mastered the skill hypnotists rely on: sustained, instinctive attention.

Hypervigilance… what a lovely word for a mind that’s trained itself to slip into altered states as a survival mechanism.

Others? They’re imaginative to a fault. Give them a single metaphor and they build palaces with it. A phrase becomes a world. A breath becomes an invitation.

And then there are the trusting ones. Not naïve—just hungry. Hungry to be guided, to rest, to stop carrying the weight of their own thoughts for a moment.

Those are the ones who fall the deepest. The ones who offer their minds like a cathedral and dare you to walk inside.

Of course, none of this is magic. It’s structure. Vulnerability. Pattern recognition. A willingness to yield.

The rest? They hover at the surface, too busy defending their illusions of control to discover what losing it actually feels like.

I know I'm just a simple girl with too much time on my hands (I made sure to have too much time so I could dedicate myself to higher purposes (fanfictions)) 😂🙏

Raising Alec

Omg yay I get to talk more about this!! Okay so I explained the premise here but here's a few fun facts about this fic:

- Theo is deeply sleep deprived (even more so now that he gets woken up by Alec's screams in the middle of the night every day) so he takes dad naps all the time and yet denies ever taking them. Alec thinks it's funny and, so, when Liam can tell his dreams are starting to turn into nightmares (his heartbeat spiking and slight movements), he gently wakes him up in a way that doesn't alert Alec that anything was ever wrong.

- Theo reads children books in this fic coz Liam learned that all he read were theory books with the DD so he made it his mission to give the chimera children books recs all the time. They go to the library together :3

- Corey visits one day and realizes that Theo and Liam are very much Alec's Parents and he's like 😶👀 and he immediately texts Mason: what the fuck????!!! babe!!! i’m in a sitcom!!! a STRAIGHT sitcom!!! what happened to them??

Chimera!Liam/FirstBeta!Theo

Okay so I really like this fic! I just find it super cool to see all the ways that Liam and Theo differ in their switched roles :)) Also Theo and Liam actually know each other from before Liam left BH. They spent a night being interrogated by the police for a petty crime when they were 8-9 yo. So anyway, I'll just fire at you a couple of my facts about this fic!

-Theo is held back a year coz he spent too much time at the hospital before Scott finally gave him the bite so he's in the same year as Mason, Liam, Hayden,... And he's basically bff with Hayden.

-Theo is *simping*!! Hard!! Andddd he's completely love-struck so he's like "No, Stiles, this guy who I'd find super sus any other day is sooooooo good and sooooo nice! How dare you say anything bad about my husband? I mean, Liam."

-Theo is a nerd and an insect nerd at that!! He loves bugs and learns all the different latin names for each species. Liam thinks it's cute. 🥰

-Liam doesn't have much of a plan (nothing like Theo seemed to have in canon), he just tries to get the pack's trust in case he needs to make them look away some point later. He's also not a soldier or spy for the DD but more of a cleaning person. He does all the small things they can't be bothered to do like clean the blood, retranscript some notes in the test subjects' files or run some small errands. That's how he made sure they'd want to keep him around.

-Liam knows that Mason would be the perfect test subject to be a chimera so he burns his hospital file before the DD can see it. He's also very excited to see his best friend again even if it means he needs to hide everything that he's become.

-Theo holds resentment towards Scott (even if he's one of his closest friends) because he let him rot in his hospital bed for almost a year before he finally decided that maybe seeing his friends die wasn't a good idea. In many ways, Theo owes Allison a debt of gratitude because her death made Scott come to his senses and bite Theo before it was too late. He just thinks that maybe, if Scott had bit him earlier, then he could've been there to protect Allison instead of lying in a bed, struggling to catch his breath.

False confidence

Theo is now 15, he's a complete soldier, merciless and obedient. He's not just some toy the dread doctors use, he's part of the team… or so he thought. But all his confidence shatters when they bring a new specimen to experiment on. (👀👀 Moi? Writing a half!werewolf half!werebear Liam chimera??? Maybe so😏)

“They won't keep you here long. They just want to know if you'd be a good fit for their research.”

Experiment might be too scary a word. 

“What?” His voice cracks. “What research?”

Theo pauses to think but there’s really no way to nicely spin this. “They need a certain body to complete it. It probably won't be you.” 

Liam frowns at the insane talk. Still, he is who he is and he can’t help but feel insulted by Theo’s obvious disregard. There’s an air of superiority in Theo's voice and body that ticks Liam the wrong way. He looks back at him with an angry tear-filled stare and a scoff.

“Well, I bet it wasn't you either.”

+++(if we're talking of Noah Kahan's song... Then yes, the song inspired the title!! Plus it could very much be applicable to this freaking angsty fic 😂. Theo thinks he's a stone cold killer but like... the first chapter is titled "Welcome to Stockholm. Population: 1")

i’m still not doing so hot so i’m taking a small break from writing out new chapters to edit the fics i have up already starting with redecorate

they’re all edited already but i keep noticing small typos or inconsistencies and if i’m going to put something out in the world, especially if people enjoy it? we can’t have that

i can’t say they’ll ever be perfect as nobody is especially when it comes to writing but the least i can do is make sure that my works are readable

i’m halfway through editing chapter three of redecorate at the moment and i’ll be moving onto innerworks after as they’re my two main fics at the moment

i do have so much love for false confidence and summertime already but i started redecorate and innerworks first and they have the most chapters at the moment so it’s only fair to put those first for the people waiting on them

i will continue the schedule of each fic when i’ve finished editing them. hopefully bi monthly updates to redecorate instead of monthly? we’ll see

innerworks will continue to have a new chapter posted every saturday, redecorate will continue monthly (or begin a bi monthly schedule), false confidence and summertime will stay unscheduled and updated whenever the fuck until i finish either of the first two

i’m probably overthinking all of this but i like to provide good content :,)

i also wanted to say a huge thank you for all the support!! the comments literally make my week :( you guys are so unimaginably sweet

that’s me for now, i’ll still keep you updated and i’d like to reiterate that there is no chance in fuck of any of my works being abandoned. they’re all meant to be very long fics, i’m just autistic and like to burn myself out when i get too excited to write

if anyone has any ideas that they’d like to see in the fics that i’m writing (or even future ones) pleaseeeeee let me know. if you notice anything that doesn’t quite add up and annoys you, inconsistencies that piss you off, or even if you have any questions, i’d love to hear them too

i will let you know when chapters will start to be posted again, and a small break should buy me some time to write some more too

“look at me all fucked up over someone I’ll never see.”

and think about what you've got, compare it to what I've got and ask yourself:

What do you think my girl wants?