#fakesports

                                   Future Hall of Fame linebacker Brian Urlacher thought it was in his best interest to retire two days ago, just two months after being released by the Bears. After 13 seasons in the NFL, the Bears were forced to release him. Sadly, he was unable to find his way to Soldier Field. When asked about his decision to retire, Urlacher simply said, “Where am I?”

            While Urlacher only has one documented concussion, he has admitted to sustaining several head injuries throughout the course of a game. Playing through these hits to his enormous head has finally caught up to him. He is lost, confused and wants to go home.

            “I don’t know what I’ll do with my free time. The sun is really bright and I get dizzy a lot. Can someone please tell me where I am?” said Urlacher with a grimace.

            It seems like the sun has set on Urlacher’s playing career. Maybe ESPN can set him up with a cot and move him around as needed. Urlacher ended his press conference by asking, “No. Seriously guys. What am I doing here?”

            This is not a real story and concussions are no laughing matter.