#fade spirits

Cole for one is confirmed to be a virgin as of the events of Dragon Age: Inquisition (although, again, we see no evidence of any romance until two years later in Trespasser) by the desire demon (or self-proclaimed “choice spirit”) Imshael in the confrontation in Suledin’s Keep (Emprise du Lion) during the quest Call Me Imshael.  When offered a deal, if the Inquisitor asks for “virgins,” the following exchange occurs:

Inquisitor: I’d like to be showered with virgins.

Imshael: I should really stop offering virgins.  Everyone always chooses them, and I can never find any.

(If Cole is in the party):

Imshael: Oh wait, there’s one.  Eeh... you probably don’t want him.

On the other hand, Imshael the desire demon is suggesting that the Inquisitor wouldn’t be interested in Cole, but not that Cole wouldn’t potentially be interested in sleeping with the Inquisitor.  Interesting, isn’t it?

Desire Demons

It does appear to at least be possible to have sex with a Fade spirit.  In Dragon Age: Origins, a male mage Warden can enter the Fade and have sex with a Desire demon (a type of Fade spirit) in exchange for allowing the demon to continue possessing Connor Guerrin during The Arl of Redcliffe arc.  

Unfortunately, the outcome for poor Connor is less than ideal; according to the epilogue slides, making any deal with the demon whatsoever will result in Connor remaining possessed and then disappearing forever.  Some people might frown on selling a child’s soul in exchange for a chance to get laid, especially if you also murder his mom in a blood ritual in the process, but I believe this is a case in which the fandom needs to calm down and simply agree to disagree.

Desire demons are also shown enchanting people into acting out romantic or sexual fantasies without full possession. In the Broken Circle arc of DAO, the Warden encounters an unnamed Desire demon who has the Templar Drass under her spell in the Templar Quarters of Kinloch Hold. Apparently she has bewitched him with the fantasy/delusion that she is his wife and that they are going about normal and rather domestic activities, including tucking "the children" in bed. The codex entry Desire and Need reveals that Knight-Commander Greagoir had previously berated Drass for failing to live up to "the devotional requirements of training," presumably indicating that the latter might have been more interested in eventually settling down and starting a family than on being a religious fanatic on guard duty spiraling into dementia from being forced to huff magic rock dust. It's later made clear that Templars are in fact allowed to have sex and even marry, given that the Templar Wesley marries Aveline Vallen in Lothering (DA2) and that former Knight-Commander Cullen explicitly states in DAI that sex was permitted for Templars in Kinloch Hold and Kirkwall. However, the sort of domestic life that Drass dreamed of may not have been a viable option, since Templars are supposed to live in Circle towers and Chantries while the spouses and (non-mage) children of Templars do not appear to receive accommodations in either.

A similar instance of a Desire demon, this one named Allure, bewitching people into acting out fantasies occurs in the Repentance (Act 2) quest of DA2, although this time it involves explicitly sexual content. Here we see Lord Harimann, characterized by his childhood friend Sebastian as otherwise being a "prude," evidently preparing to engage in very kinky sex with an unnamed elven woman in lingerie. More specifically, they're standing half-nude around a bed, a whipping post, “manacles” to use for bondage, and an Iron Maiden, as the woman loudly urges him to apply "the feather" even “lower,” and Harimann chuckles, "Now, you be the naughty apprentice, and I’ll be the Templar torturer." His last shout is, “Today, I am more than a man! Come! Felicitate me!” Born-again "Choir Boy" and sole unfuckable/volcel romance option Sebastian Vael is naturally aghast, exclaiming, “I beg your pardon, Hawke. I did not mean to expose you to such things,” as if Hawke and Isabela don’t already do these things literally every single day after returning home from the Hanged Man.

The motive behind why Desire demons bewitch people in this manner short of full possession is laid out by the Desire demon in Broken Circle (DAO):

Desire Demon: I saw his loneliness and longing for a family that loved him. No one else would have known his heart. He did not know it himself.

Warden: You've made him into your slave.

Desire Demon: I fulfill his dreams... I grant him all his desires. Is he my slave, or am I his? We are partners. I give him what no one else can, and through him, I experience what it is to be mortal.

Warden: Well, he deserves to be free from you. To find his own happiness.

Sten: Freedom cannot be given. The templar must choose it for himself. If you help this man, what does he learn? Nothing.

Desire Demon: Our thoughts and spirits are melded. If one perishes, so does the other. Though much of my strength is spent maintaining this link, I am his wife, and his children; he will defend me to the death if need be. I want nothing from you. I have what I need. All I ask is that you leave us alone.

So, to sum up, we have in-game examples of Desire demons having sex with mages in the Fade, enchanting people into acting out sexual and romantic fantasies, and flirting with visitors to the Fade (seen with Isabela during Night Terrors in DA2; referenced by Dorian in DAI). Not to mention their stripper-esque getups and repeated breast-fondling. Desire demons are thus clearly canon sexual/romance options.

As far as sex with non-demonic Fade spirits goes, however, we’re in murkier territory.  

Wynne/Faith 

In DAO, one of our potential companions, Wynne, is of course possessed by a spirit of Faith.  Wynne makes multiple references to having slept around in the past (with both mages and Templars, ultimately being impregnated by one of the latter, heavily implied to be Greagoir) and even indicates that she has continued to be sexually active into middle age (“It would not be the first time I woke to a younger man in my bed”), but there’s no reference in the game to having enjoyed sex and/or romance post-possession — although to be fair, the possession is a rather recent occurrence, the party is in the midst of trying to stop the end of the world, and she is technically undead. (Full disclosure: I haven’t read all of Asunder yet, so let me know if you are aware of any information about Wynne’s sex life while possessed).  It may also be worth noting that despite being repeatedly compared to a “grandmother,” she’s actually only 49 years old as of DAO.

Zevran for one seems into it.  Not only does he flirt with her (though perhaps only in jest), but he seems to find the spirit possession a little too exciting for Wynne’s taste.

Zevran: ... but what does it feel like being possessed by a spirit?

Wynne: Why does this interest you so?

Zevran: I simply wish to get to know those that I travel with. Is that wrong of me?

Wynne: No, of course it isn't. Well... let me see. It is hard to describe. It is comforting... I... I feel safe, loved.

Zevran: Comforted, loved, yes...

Wynne: It is like being held close, cradled... the bond is so complete that I am unable to extricate myself, nor do I wish to. Wait... why do you have that look on your face?

Zevran: Mmm, I... I am simply imagining it. Continue, please.

Wynne: And there is a constant warmth, that spreads outwards from the very center of my being, infusing my body with--

Zevran: Ooh...

Wynne: Andraste's grace, what are you thinking about now? No, I don't want to know. I feel dirty. Do not speak to me.

Zevran also flirts with Wynne without reference to the possession, which reinforces the idea that he’s into it. (And remember, despite being repeatedly called an “old woman” and compared to a “grandmother,” Wynne is only 49 years old. Definitely within MILF territory).

Zevran: But it is a marvelous bosom. I have seen women half your age who have not held up half so well. Perhaps it is a magical bosom?

Wynne: Stop... talking about my bosom.

…

Zevran: There have been many bosoms in my past, though only few as fine as yours.

Wynne: Enough. I am ending this conversation.

…

Wynne: Zevran, I am old enough to be your grandmother.

Zevran: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Wynne: And what would you do with me if you had me, hmm? This is a game you play, nothing more.

Zevran: Ha, you are a cynical woman, Wynne. Cynical and powerful. It drives me mad with desire.

Kristoff/Justice

In Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, one of our companions is a spirit of Justice involuntarily possessing the corpse of a human Grey Warden named Kristoff.  Justice soon reveals that he has partial access to Kristoff’s memories but not any of Kristoff’s emotions.

Shortly after defeating the Baroness, during the conversation potentially leading to recruiting him into the party:

Justice: It seems I cannot return to the Fade. I am trapped here in the body of this “Grey Warden”? There are memories within this poor man’s mind, they are… they are difficult to see. But... he was a Grey Warden? He was... slain by the darkspawn, the one called The First?

Warden: The darkspawn are who the Grey Wardens fight. 

Justice: And that was your pursuit when you were tricked into the Fade, yes, I understand now.

Justice: It seems I am at a loss. I know nothing of this world, and have only a few memories of this Grey Warden to draw from. I do not wish to die. What shall I do, mortal?

This is relevant to the later discussions regarding Kristoff’s wife Aura.  Justice indicates he doesn’t personally feel Kristoff’s love for Aura but instead longs for such an experience of his own.  Yet this longing in itself is enough to trigger discomfort and questions about his identity as a (non-demonic) Fade spirit.

During the discussion following the quest Justice for Kristoff, after meeting Aura in the Amaranthine Chantry:

Justice: I have been thinking of Aura, the mortal woman who was wife to Kristoff. I continue to envy their love. But envy is what a demon feels, a desire for something it cannot have.

Warden: You aren’t taking it from them. There’s a difference. 

Justice: I… I think I understand. You coexist with both great darkness and great beauty. It must be confusing. Yet now I find myself wishing to be more. It is enlightening. Thank you for bringing me to this world.

This may have been part of the explanation for Justice’s deep attachment to seeking, well, “Justice for Kristoff.”  His overriding goal is to kill the Mother to punish her for ordering the murder of Kristoff (not that this stops him from openly eyeing Anders the entire time), and his willingness to excuse actions by the Warden that he considers morally objectionable (e.g., agreeing to murder a cop for money, burning down Amaranthine, allying with their former kidnapper) is motivated by a belief that working with the Warden is necessary to achieve that objective.  If the Warden tells him that he isn’t Kristoff and should just “let it go,” Justice explicitly says, “I cannot” (with this dialogue option netting -3 in Disapproval).  It’s true that Justice takes a deep interest in Kristoff’s life in general (even collecting personal property to reminisce over), but he specifically cites Kristoff’s wife as a primary point of interest.  He explicitly says he wants to experience love and romance and sees Kristoff and Aura as an ideal example.  

(The Warden’s potential response of “You aren’t taking it from them” and “There’s a difference” also calls to mind Nathaniel’s ultimately successful argument in favor of possessing a living body: “Perhaps together, you can do what they cannot do alone. If you gave instead of taking, I would consider you no demon.”)

In general, Justice seems ignorant of and/or confused about sexuality and expresses annoyance at Oghren's dirty jokes and OG Anders’s habit of making a pass at every woman he meets.

When Oghren tries to probe Justice about reproductive functions and Kristoff’s memories of married life, Justice seems to not understand the sexual innuendo nor the significance of sexuality to marriage (or at least to most marriages that do not end in divorce).  

Oghren: Now that you have a physical body, what do you plan to do with it?

Justice: Serve justice, as I always have.

Oghren: I know what I'd do if I suddenly became a complete man.

Justice: You are alluding to something. I know not what.

Oghren: You can't be that stupid.

Justice: We have work to do.

Oghren: And... er... everything works? Everything's intact? All the plumbing?

Justice: You are alluding to something. I know not what.

Oghren: Oh, come on!

Oghren: You have memories, right? Kristoff's memories.

Justice: Yes.

Oghren: And Kristoff was married? You have memories of that, yes?

Justice: Yes.

Oghren: Aha! So you must know what I'm talking about!

Justice: Must I?

Oghren: Come on! Kristoff must have buttered the southern pony in his day.

Justice: I do not believe Kristoff has ever seen a southern pony, let alone buttered it. What does that even mean?

Oghren: (Sigh) Nothing. It means nothing.

Moreover, Justice denies experiencing any physical needs or desires while possessing Kristoff’s corpse and finds Oghren’s refusal to shut up about sex and excretion rather irritating.

Justice: You speak often of bodily functions.

Oghren: (Grunts) Not half as often as they happen.

Justice: But why this preoccupation? I have a mortal body, yet it provides me no such amusement.

Oghren: You have a dead mortal body. Try a living one sometime, and then we'll talk.

Justice: Possess a living host? I would never!

Oghren: Tough break. Enjoy the corpse love.

While he doesn’t report anything resembling sexual desire, Justice does seem to pine over lyrium, which emits a song that appears especially attractive to spirits.  So at this time he has retained his Spirit-related interests without fully acquiring human ones. His lack of awareness of sexuality leads to interesting implications for when he does possess a living body. As Oghren points out, Justice currently has “a dead mortal body,” and things could very well be different if and when he chooses to inhabit “a living one.”

But if we’re being honest, most of the people reading this are only really here for Anders, so let’s not beat around the bush.

Anders/Justice

Prior to his possession by Justice, Anders seems to have gotten around.  A lot, actually.  Despite the heavy restrictions on romantic and sexual relationships in the Circle, and despite being forcibly separated from his first long-term lover (whom he dreamt of saving for decades prior to the latter’s demise in the Tranquility quest), Anders was apparently an active participant in Kinloch Hold’s surreptitious hookup culture. In real-life contexts in which open romance is prohibited, after all, it’s a lot easier to get away with no-strings-attached casual sex than with maintaining long-term relationships, and this ultimately tends to undermine and destabilize such bonds. Consistent with this, if romanced in DA2, Anders will say, “When I was in the Circle, love was only a game. It gave the templars too much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose. No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love. This is the rule I will most cherish breaking.” Despite World of Thedas vol. 2 confirming that he and Karl Thekla “shared a deep love,” Anders remains reluctant to admit that he was ever in love (at least prior to the romance with Hawke) — although this probably stems more from the pain of losing him (twice, in fact).

During Awakening, Anders flirts with or otherwise expresses interest in virtually every woman he meets (sometimes rather inappropriately, as seen in his whistling at Velanna in the video above), including the Warden. He’s heavily implied to have been in a romantic/sexual relationship with his so-called “friend” in Amaranthine, Namaya (an city elven “mundane”/non-mage), given that she seems to resent him despite going out of her way to help him over a year after they last met and that she’ll grumble to a female Warden not to let him “sweet talk” her. In their Act 1 banter in DA2, Isabela and Anders will reveal that they had hooked up in The Pearl (Denerim’s brothel) during one of his escape attempts, apparently using magic for kink.

Anders: I keep thinking I know you from somewhere...

Isabela: You're Fereldan, right? Ever spend time at the Pearl?

Anders: That's it!

Anders: You used to really like that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? What was her name?

Isabela: The Lay Warden?

Anders: That's right! I think you were there the night I—

Isabela: Oh! Were you the runaway mage who could do that electricity thing? That was nice...

Considering that initially he indicates that she looks familiar but can’t pinpoint where and how they met, that they had even had sex, and so forth, it sounds like such sexual encounters (with mundane women during escapes, potentially using “that electricity thing”) would have to have been fairly frequent and perhaps occurring a long time ago. And despite the common claim that he was/appeared totally straight until the second game, his high-approval dialogue with a male Warden is highly suggestive (“the picture of virile heroism”) — and this isn’t even getting into the “gay earring” and other queer-coding (which seems to have been intentional on the part of his original writer). As I mentioned above, Justice seems rather put off by Anders’s sexual antics, at least at this point in time. On the other hand, there are a few hints that Anders retains an interest in kink even post-possession (e.g., his apparently surprised/curious reaction to Merrill's interest in "dirty spells"). Most notoriously, if romanced by the time of Mark of the Assassin, he reveals a fantasy that is straight-up Nightmare Fuel, incorporating his worst fears (i.e., forcible Tranquility) and sadomasochistic elements:

Anders: Here I always figured you'd be the one coming to spring me from someone's dungeon. I had it all planned. I'd be in the Gallows, templars all around, holding the brand for the Rite of Tranquility. Then you'd burst in and break my chains. And then it would be all about the best way to show my gratitude.

Hawke: Did it have anything to do with finding another use for those chains?

Tallis: Not to come between you two or anything, but you didn't actually rescue us. I did.

Anders: I could be grateful to you too.

And he's into the idea of a threesome with Tallis ten seconds after learning she approves of mages like him having their mouths sewn shut.

Overall, though, Justice-Anders in DA2 has a noticeably more negative attitude towards sex (or at least casual/promiscuous sex) than did OG Anders in Awakening, but the reason for this is unclear. This change could be due to the influence of Justice, an understandable reaction to the number of STI cases he has treated in his clinic since coming to Kirkwall (of the local brothel, he complains, "I treat a lot of these customers in my clinic"), a reflection of increased religiosity (given that Anders likewise seems to go from skeptical and irreverent in Awakening to devoutly Andrastian, albeit of a heretical variety, in DA2), a reflection of aging or increasing depression... or it could simply mean nothing at all and be entirely attributable to a change in writer (from David Gaider to Jennifer Hepler) between games. Who knows?

In any case, in DA2, Anders repeatedly insists from the very beginning that when Justice possessed him, they merged into a new entity with shared thoughts and feelings (as opposed to Anders simply acquiring a moralistic voice in his head).

For example, at the end of Anders’s recruitment quest (Tranquility, Act 1):

Hawke: So, you have this spirit of justice living in your head?

Anders: It's not like that. He's gone now. He's part of me. It's not like we can... have a conversation. I feel his thoughts as my own. Not even the greatest scholar could tell you where I end and he begins.

(I recommend checking out the possession metas by @carabas both for the Justice-Anders merger and the general DA lore on spirit possession, including a collection of relevant quotes).

This is reinforced by the Tranquility (Act 1) quest log reading: “Anders was revealed to be a spirit of Justice, [sic] and killed his friend Karl. He provided copies of the Grey Warden maps of the Deep Roads around Kirkwall and is available to join the expedition if desired.” That is, the Anders we meet in the second game is in fact a spirit of Justice, not merely a human man with an extra passenger. Justice has become Anders much as Compassion has become Cole, although the latter’s identification is considered rather unusual in that, in Solas’s words, “You have not even possessed a body” (Subjected to His Will, DAI).

Sort of, anyways.

During the romance scene in Hawke’s mansion, Anders notoriously says (in his very first lines), “Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you're a distraction. It is one of the few things on which he and I disagree.”

Why this (allegedly) rare conflict? It’s heavily implied that Anders is in love with Hawke from their first meeting regardless of what happens next (e.g., “For three years [since having first met], you've haunted my sleep. I wake aching for you”; the Rivalry points not simply for rejecting his advances but for not flirting with him immediately; the later jealousy banter if he hadn’t explicitly been rejected in Acts 1 or 2); and if Hawke is a Friend, Anders outright exclaims, “Even Justice bows to you for the faith you have shown us” (Justice, Act 3) — suggesting that Justice does in fact like and/or approve of a supportive (at least as much as the game allows one to be) pro-mage Hawke. The word “even,” however, implies that Justice was inclined towards being hostile or suspicious of Hawke, at least initially.

Perhaps the phrase “obsession with you” is key. If romanced, Anders says that over the years he has spent a lot of time thinking about Hawke (see the above quote as well as a similar one, “For three years, I have lain awake every night, aching for you. I'm still terrified I'll wake up”), and Hawke does appear to hold a troubling amount of influence over him (e.g., convincing him to help kill or turn in mages in stark opposition to his and Justice’s morals and political goals, to venture into the Deep Roads repeatedly despite his claustrophobia and insistence that he never wants to return, and so forth), although much the same could be said of the other companions, who rarely do any more than briefly complain before complying with whatever Hawke asks. Prior to possessing Anders, Justice’s familiarity with love, sex, and romance had been limited to some “difficult to see” and emotionally-detached mental images of Kristoff’s marriage — again, without the direct experience of Kristoff’s feelings connected to them — and the affection of long-married couples tends to lack the intensity, absorption, and instability often associated with eager young people embarking on new love affairs.

It may also be worth noting that these lines about Justice’s disapproval comes not during the initial love confession and kiss but just prior to having sex (at a prearranged time and place) and in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic incident involving Justice taking over by force and lashing out blindly. In mages, it also seems that high emotional excitement can lead to a minor “leakage” of magic or temporary loss of control (perhaps an example of the Power Incontinence trope?), which may be especially frightening to them after the loss of control during Dissent (Act 2), which immediately precedes the romance. After all, Dorian sometimes accidentally shoots fire when shooting his shot (according to Iron Bull, at any rate), and Dorian's probably the chillest dude in the entire series.

Furthermore, as a spirit terrified of the prospect of demonic corruption, he’s inclined to see both desire (e.g., telling Anders that demons “have been perverted by their desires”) and envy (e.g., “envy is what a demon feels, a desire for something it cannot have”) as inherently demonic and corrupting, and it would be surprising if such an attitude didn’t create tension around sex and romance.

There’s a repeated insistence that Justice isn’t participating in the romance/sex, although this could be a case of Perhaps the Lady Doth Protest Too Much.

In the Hawke mansion, initiating the romance (Act 2):

Hawke: (“He's still in there... right?”) So, he's kind of... an unwilling participant in our threesome?

Anders: Don’t call it that.

In the Hawke mansion, rejecting Anders prior to sex (Act 2):

Hawke: Maybe we should wait until the voices in your head are in agreement.

Anders: I understand.

Meeting Isabela at the Hanged Man after initiating the Anders romance (Act 2):

Isabela: You, Anders... and Justice. That must be exciting! As they say, two's company, but three is better.

Hawke: (“Not with Justice”) I don’t think whoever made that claim had a Fade spirit in mind.

Isabela: No? You don't like his spear of righteousness then?

(Alternate):

Hawke: (“I like Anders”) I enjoy being with Anders. And that's all I'm going to say about it.

Isabela: We know about Anders.

Isabela: What about Justice? Does he not get involved? Or perhaps he thinks you're too good of a person and isn't willing to smite you? That would be a shame, wouldn't it? Everyone deserves a good smiting, now and then. I could use one right this minute.

(On a side note, considering that Isabela and Anders have had sex in the past, if they hooked up again post-possession, she would have an excellent opportunity to compare and contrast. I’m just sayin.’ It’s also interesting that both Zevran and Isabela have expressed potential interest in sex/intimacy with someone possessed by a Fade spirit. If two experienced sexual connoisseurs like Zevran and Isabela both agree that some novel sex activity would be good fun, I believe we can be fairly confident that it is at the very least worth trying).

Yet not only does Anders elsewhere repeatedly insist that Justice is always present (e.g., "It's always me. Justice and I are one," "He's part of me," "We are the same," etc.) and that the two share thoughts and feelings, but he makes the following amusing comment if rejected in favor of Merrill during the romance scene in Hawke's mansion: “Be careful. As innocent as she seems, she is still a blood mage. She is just less honest about there being a third party in your bed.”

Remember, his recurrent accusations are not that Merrill is currently possessed by a demon but that she's liable to eventually become possessed and/or is (perhaps unwittingly) doing the demon's bidding, which is considerably less intimate than the supernatural entity in question living in one's body and directly controlling one's thoughts and actions. Merrill even uses the word "platonic" to draw a distinction between her "relationship" with Audacity and Anders's "relationship" with Justice (Act 2 banter, post-Dissent, if Ella dies):

Anders: It's not a good feeling, you know… Being an abomination. I just got a taste of your future.

Merrill: I'm not that foolish. Our relationship is, um, strictly platonic.

So (at least when feeling cranky), he admits that Justice is a "third party in [their] bed" — occupying some role in their romantic/sexual relationship — even if he rejects the term "threesome." Again, recall that he simply cringes and urges Hawke not to "call it that" rather than actually rejecting the label as inaccurate per se.

So is Justice actually an "unwilling participant" in their "threesome?"

Maybe, but I doubt it.

Perhaps at risk of stating the obvious, Justice plays an increasingly dominant role in the Anders-Justice merger, and by the endgame at least, it appears that Anders may not even be capable of defying Justice’s wishes for any sustained period of time — and the relationship with Hawke lasts at least three years. It’s clear that Justice and Anders are in conflict at least some of the time, and there are at least brief moments in which one can seize full control and do something the other does not want. In the discussion after Tranquility (Act 1), Anders claims that the two usually blend together but that when he/they become sufficiently emotionally distressed, Justice can take over and lash out as “Vengeance,” episodes during which Anders has no awareness and/or no memory. The amnesia appears to be one-sided, though Anders wonders aloud if Justice has a similar experience so far as feeling controlled goes. If killed in the Fade during Night Terrors (Act 2) — whether Hawke fights him due to a misunderstanding or because Hawke genuinely tries to get Feynriel possessed by a demon — Anders worries that he could be emotionally harming Justice by making choices that the latter doesn't agree with (or at least doesn't explicitly give his blessing to), given that they are sharing the same body (Anders in the Fade, Act 2):

Hawke: (“You two never talk anymore”) Do you need someone to mediate between the voices in your head?

Anders: Hmm. There's an idea.

Hawke: (“You need to control him”) It's sounding more and more like he's the one in charge.

Anders: I've stayed out of the Fade since we merged. I don't like being a passenger in my own skin. I suppose Justice feels like that every day. Shackled to my body and every decision I make. No wonder it's become a prison for him.

However, at least as time goes on, Hawke's potential complaint that it's "sounding more and more like [Justice is] the one in charge" even outside of the Fade seems more accurate. Perhaps most obviously, in the few instances where Anders and Justice can actually be seen vying for control in the moment (e.g., upon initially encountering Ser Alrik during Dissent in Act 2; when confronted by a Rival Hawke at the end of the Justice quest in Act 3; and during Act 3 banter with Varric, when Varric complains that Justice won't let "Anders come out and play"), Justice ends up winning. On a more subtle and tragic level, Anders goes from personal aspirations and longing for relationships in Awakening to denigrating all this as “selfish” by Act 1 of DA2, wondering out loud “how much is left” of him without Justice in Act 2, and finally insisting “there is nothing else inside me” by Act 3. If he’s in a Rivalry relationship with Hawke, by the end of his personal quest in Act 3, Anders complains of blackouts and memory loss (during periods in which Justice seizes control forcibly), despairs that “he’s too strong,” and finally says, “It's like the longer we go, the less of me there is.” It should be noted here however that the Friendship route and the Rivalry route represent two different character paths, so far as Anders’s relationship with Justice is concerned. While Anders and Justice are more in tune and tend to see themselves more as one being on the Friendship route (where Hawke is supportive), the Rivalry route entails Hawke instigating or exacerbating conflict between them by persuading Anders to defy Justice’s purpose (by siding against the mages), diversion from which has a corrupting influence on spirits. Regardless, with Justice increasingly in the driver's seat, by the endgame they have shifted to prioritizing the mage rebellion over a romantic relationship with Hawke. To quote the romance-specific dialogue from the aftermath of the Justice (Act 3) quest:

Anders: I love you. I wish that meant I would never hurt you. You are the most important thing in my life. But some things matter more than my life, more than either of us. I'm sorry.

(First Option):

Hawke: (“Love is important”) You're wrong. There is nothing more important than love!

Anders: I told you I would break your heart. Just know it breaks mine to do it.

(Alternate):

Hawke: (“You’re right”) This is war. We cannot be weakened by our feelings.

Anders: I knew you would understand.

(As an aside, it's a little mysterious why Anders doesn't simply reveal his plan to a Hawke who makes statements championing "war" and "overthrowing the Templars" and the like after happily supporting him with his "suspicious" requests, except on a meta-narrative level - that is, the authors wanted to preserve the surprise on the part of the player).

It's worth noting that Anders expresses surprise if Hawke doesn't literally stab him in the back during The Last Straw (Act 3), and he handles both being killed and being dumped with remarkable equanimity here (despite getting offended if being killed in the Fade or dumped immediately after sex in Act 2), suggesting that he had already made peace with these possibilities. Unlike the other two infamous Endgame Plot Twist Apostates, however, Anders does not disappear or attempt to terminate the relationship in the end — if anything, he’s positively thrilled if Hawke remains at his side. To quote the romance dialogue from just before the final battle with Meredith:

Anders: I should have trusted you. Even with all we've shared, I never thought you'd spare my life. If we live through this... you know I'll be hunted. No one in Kirkwall will offer me mercy. But... if you would join me, I'd rather be on the run with you than safe with anyone else.

Hawke: Then we will be fugitives together.

Anders: We will fight for a world where our children can be born mages and free. Ten years, a hundred years from now, someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no templars to tear them apart. May the Maker bring us victory. Or everything else is meaningless.

So despite everything, Anders is still in love with Hawke and hopes to pursue the romance, albeit from now on as an Outlaw Couple spreading the revolution across Thedas (which Hawke reports they have been doing in their DAI cameo, if Anders was romanced and supported and the mages defended). And in the end, his vision of what justice and mage freedom mean isn't about punishing all evildoers, about mages being represented in government or governing themselves, about equal rights under the law, or anything else that abstract -- rather, it's about the freedom to love and form families.

Prior to their merge, Justice talked abstractly and militantly about "oppression" and the need to "strike a blow against your oppressors" and "free those who remain oppressed," while Anders declared that individual-level freedom really meant the option to retire to a private life (phrased jokingly as "a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools"). Yet under the Friendship path in the second game, when Anders declares they have finally fully fused together, the ultimate end goal is that future generations can enjoy such loving relationships. Constructions such as "our children" and later generations of "someone like me" and "someone like you" (emphasis mine) represent a fusion of the personal and the collective, a substitution of vicarious fulfillment for personal happiness. After all, he had sacrificed his individuality and personal aspirations years before he prepared for any physical martyrdom. Yet "our children" has a more literal meaning as well. Did Anders, or perhaps Hawke, finally rub off on Justice?

Flemeth/Mythal

The last major spirit-human pairing featured in the games is that between Flemeth, the "Witch of the Wilds," and Mythal, the elven goddess of justice and childbirth. Flemeth is revealed to be carrying a "piece" of Mythal's soul/spirit in DAI, and describes the possession as follows in The Final Piece:

Flemeth: Once I was but a woman, crying out in the lonely darkness for justice. And she came to me, a wisp of an ancient being, and she granted me all I wanted and more. I have carried Mythal through the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her.

Inquisitor: Then… you carry Mythal inside you?

Flemeth: She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest.

The divinity of the elven gods is disputed by members of the pantheon themselves, namely Fen'Harel ("The Dread Wolf") in Trespasser and Flemeth/Mythal here. The pre-Trespasser dialogue even suggests that "Mythal" may be a Fade spirit.

For example, the Warden and Morrigan can speculate about whether Flemeth is some kind of abomination in DAO.

In DA2, Anders/Justice (an "abomination" himself) is confused as to the nature of Flemeth when encountering her on Sundermount during Long Way Home (Act 1).

Anders: What are you? A spirit? An abomination? This is no magic I've ever seen!

Flemeth: And you would know of spirits and abominations.

Anders: I'm a mage. Of course I know of such things.

Flemeth: Of course!

Fenris is also rather confused by her, although he rejects the notion that she could be a spirit or possessed by a spirit.

Fenris: You are no simple witch.

Flemeth: Figured that out yourself, did you?

Fenris: I have seen powerful mages, spirits, and abominations. But you are none of those things. What are you?

Flemeth: Such a curious lad. The chains are broken, but are you truly free?

The Inquisitor can express suspicions that what Flemeth is calling Mythal may have been a demon, and although the wisdom of the Well of Sorrows refutes this explanation, Flemeth does validate their questioning of the claim to godhood:

Inquisitor: That could’ve been a demon, lying to you.

Flemeth: What do the voices tell you? / You hear the voices of the Well, girl. What do they say?

Inquisitor / Morrigan: They say you speak the truth.

Flemeth: But what was Mythal? A legend given name and called a god, or something more? Truth is not the end, but a beginning... As for me, I have had many names. But you… may call me Flemeth.

Morrigan is also rather suspicious, and Flemeth's response (as per usual) does nothing to clarify the situation:

Morrigan: And you follow her whims? Do you even know what she truly is?

Flemeth: You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end? It is because I taught you, girl, because things happened that were never meant to happen. She was betrayed as I was betrayed—as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged! Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.

This all sounds very dramatic and even epic until we take a moment to reflect on the much less flattering (and even rather crass) depiction of Flemeth in DAO as well as the broader context.

For one, given that the elves who worshipped Mythal had received no discernible help from her across centuries of enslavement, dispossession, and genocide, it's unclear why Mythal instead chose to bond with a human woman entangled in a soap opera narrative of marital infidelity and domestic violence. (The non-response to the persecution to the elves is hand-waved away with Flemeth's usual evasions and non-sequiturs). DAI confirms that this is indeed Flemeth's backstory and the context in which she became possessed by the entity later identified as Mythal:

Inquisitor: I know the name “Flemeth.” It belongs to an ancient Fereldan legend. It says, long ago, you left your husband for a lover. Your husband then tricked you, killed your lover, and imprisoned you. Then a spirit came to offer you vengeance. Mythal—that’s what you spoke of.

Flemeth: One day, someone will summarize the terrible events of your life so quickly. But, yes, I was that woman. That is how my tale began.

Inquisitor: Flemeth appears in other legends, helping heroes for reasons of her own.

Flemeth: I nudge history, when it’s required. Other times, a shove is needed.

For another, her own daughter characterizes her as emotionally and potentially physically abusive, does not hesitate to believe that she is ready to harm her children and grandchildren, and later cries in despair, "I am many things, but I will not be the mother you were to me."

Flemeth apparently taught Morrigan that love is a weakness. To quote some examples:

Morrigan telling the story of how her mother shattered a mirror to teach her a lesson: "Beauty and love are fleeting and have no meaning. Survival has meaning. Power has meaning. Without those lessons I would not be here today, as difficult as they might have been."

If asked if she loves Flemeth: "What an odd thing to say. Why must ‘love’ enter into the equation? Flemeth taught me everything I needed to learn. How to survive. The meaning of power. The truth of men. If other mothers do not teach these things, then I believe them the lesser."

If romanced: "I have allowed myself to become… too close. This is a weakness."

If romanced, Morrigan exhibits familiarity and even confidence with sex but struggles to understand and cope with love.

Perhaps this ought not be surprising, considering the lessons Morrigan learned from Flemeth, who provided a less than stellar role-model when it comes to relationships with men.

Leliana: They say your mother is Flemeth, a witch of the Korcari Wilds.

Morrigan: They also say that washing your feet in winter makes you catch cold in the head, but we all know that is not true. But sometimes they are right and they are right in this.

Leliana: You know the stories about--

Morrigan: Of course. You think my mother would let me go without telling me all the stories of her youth?

Leliana: My mother told me stories too. She was the one who kindled my love of the old tales and legends.

Morrigan: Hmph. My mother's stories curdled my blood and haunted my dreams. No little girl wants to hear about the Wilder men her mother took to her bed, using them till they were spent, then killing them. No little girl wants to be told that this is also expected of her, once she comes of age.

Leliana: I… uh… I see.

Morrigan: No, you don't. You really don't.

That's right: Flemeth enjoyed bragging to her young daughter of luring "Wilder men" into sex and murdering them as soon as they're worn out... and told Morrigan that sleeping with strange men before murdering them was also "expected of her, once she comes of age." You know, totally normal parent-child dynamics? It also may be noteworthy when considering the reason Flemeth sent Morrigan with Alistair and the Warden to begin with. Namely, Flemeth wanted Morrigan to seduce Alistair and/or a male Warden in order to give birth to a baby with the soul of the Old God Urthemiel, for reasons that she never explains. The Final Piece suggests that Flemeth wanted to extract the now-purified Old God soul from the child, but no explanation is provided, and Morrigan herself is rather mystified by her motives and intentions.

Flemeth's tales of banging random guys in the wilderness before disposing of the bodies is also consistent with Chasind legends of Flemeth's many daughters despite the absence of any known/named men in her life (after the original drama of her abusive husband murdering her lover), although Morrigan considers the possibility of Flemeth simply abducting babies to obtain new "daughters" at least as plausible. Morrigan reports that she cannot recall Flemeth ever having been young, but given her shapeshifting abilities, it's likely that Flemeth can look any way she chooses.

How else can we explain her GILF-tastic transformation from DAO to DA2?

In addition, a major subplot in DAO (Morrigan's companion quest Flemeth's Real Grimoire) revolves around discovering Flemeth's grimoire, which reveals that Flemeth has been raising daughters in order to possess their bodies once grown, thereby evading death. When confronted by the Warden, Flemeth does not deny it, offering her usual evasions. After the Warden either "kills" Flemeth or agrees to lie to Morrigan that Flemeth is dead, they discover among her belongings the Robes of Possession, the description for which reads: "The original intent of these robes is clear: a 'welcome home' present from Flemeth designed to sap Morrigan's will and ease the ancient sorceress's possession of her daughter." Neither does Flemeth give an explicit denial in DAI, although she later tells Morrigan, "A soul is not forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan. You were never in danger from me." What this means is unclear; Morrigan is also mystified, wondering if that means that Flemeth expected her to eventually consent to possession despite everything.

Evangeline/Faith

Towards the end of Dragon Age Asunder (set about halfway between the events of DA2 and DAI), the Spirit of Faith departs Wynne to possess the Templar Evangeline, who ultimately sides with the mages against the Templar Order and enters a romantic relationship with the mage protagonist Rhys. The possession saves Evangeline's life only at the cost of Wynne's, given that spirit possession is the only factor keeping the latter alive after her near-death experience in DAO. In DAI, dialogue with Cole and subsequent War Table missions (Locate Rhys and Evangeline and Deploy Rhys and Evangeline) confirm that Rhys and Evangeline are alive, well, and together (and still presumably in a romantic relationship). Given that Faith had previously spent the past several years in the head of Rhys's mom prior to any potential "threesome" with Rhys (you know, as one half of Rhys's girlfriend?), it's fortunate that Fade spirits apparently have no concept of awkwardness.

Mihris/Imshael

A potentially interesting but book-exclusive case occurs in Mihris, the First of Clan Virnehn (and thus a skilled mage), when she allows the Desire demon (or self-proclaimed "Choice Spirit") Imshael to possess her in The Masked Empire.

Notably, our examples of consensual spirit possession (Wynne/Faith, Evangeline/Faith, Kristoff/Justice, Anders/Justice, Flemeth/Mythal) involve apparent/implied gender matching between spirit and host. However, this is not consistently the case with demonic possession in any part of the series. For example, Marethari is possessed by Audacity ("him"/"his"), for example, while Connor is possessed by the unnamed Desire demon ("she"/"her," "the scary lady").

With the highly salient exception of Desire demons, most of the demons of Dragon Age are coded as male/masculine, being voiced by men and often referred to with "he/him" pronouns when not being denied personhood altogether and called "it/its." In DA2, for example, the pride demon Audacity targets Merrill and Keeper Marethari as potential victims to possess (Merrill reveals that Audacity had been calling out to both of them in their dreams since arriving at Sundermount) and eventually possesses Marethari, despite being referred to with "he/him" pronouns (e.g., "It would have taken powerful magic to break him free of this prison," "You would have been his first victim"). If I recall correctly, the only clear inconsistency in gendering occurs in Night Terrors (Act 2), in which the Pride demon Wryme is gendered male during the quest but subsequently referred to as “she” by Fenris in the follow-up Fenris Night Terrors — although fans usually interpret this as “suggesting Bioware may have originally planned for him to fall prey to the [female/feminine] desire demon instead” (in the words of the quest wiki page).

Again, Imshael chooses as his host a young Dalish woman, despite being presented as male/masculine and referred to with "he/him." This is highlighted in the following passage in Chapter 17:

Celene looked at Mihris in disgust. “Possessed by a demon?" “Spirit,” Mihris corrected, and then caught herself and chuckled. When she spoke again, her voice had deepened to that of the man who’d stood in the circle. “Ah, pity. You’re a bit more cunning than you look. Yes, Empress, I offered young Mihris here a little additional power in exchange for getting to come along.” The thing inside Mihris smiled. “None of which explains why I shouldn’t just kill bold Ser Michel now to fulfill my end of the bargain.” “You will free the elves when you are ready, when it is safe. You offer me a stately dinner,” he said, waving Mihris’s staff idly, “when what I want is the ravening, bare-fisted gluttony of a starving man”

Like with other cases of possession, the spirit/demon seizing control appears to cause vocal changes (usually a deepening of the voice), but here the text specifically states that Imshael's surfacing caused Mihris's voice to "deepen to that of the man," specifically transforming into Imshael's normal (masculine) speaking voice.

Not only is he regarded as a distinct and alien entity by both the text (written from a third-person POV) and the other characters, but unlike Justice with Anders or (to a lesser extent) the unnamed desire demon with Connor, Imshael doesn't appear to ever actually identify as Mihris or speak from her perspective (beyond perhaps hiding his presence, if previous dialogue from a possessed Mihris is interpreted as originating from Imshael). Likewise, in a passage written from Imshael's perspective (World of Thedas vol. 2), Imshael speaks of Mihris rather distantly and from the third-person, presenting her as an autonomous being with whom he made a fair contract and later had his disagreements. Quote: "She seemed quite invested in avenging her clan and killing Ser Michel, even to the point of allowing me to possess her to give her the power to do so. Sadly, it ended up being a waste of time. When her chance came, Mihris flinched from the consequences, and with no interesting choice to keep me bound, I was forced to go my own way" (p. 279). Interestingly, despite the earlier scene in which he directly assumes motor control for a brief moment, his characterization of their merger gives Mihris the overall agency and power in the relationship. After all, she had to "allow" him to "give her the power" she needed to accomplish her goals, and when she rejected "her chance" to do so, he was "forced" to leave.

When returning in DAI, Imshael appears as clearly male/masculine, being voiced by a man and wearing Anders's signature bird suit (perhaps to remind the audience that Anders is the Real Bad Guy who you were supposed to kill). Funnily enough, among his three offers ("choices") presented to the Inquisitor in exchange for avoiding a fight, one is for "Virgins" — a longing for instant gratification with virgin sexual partners being a very stereotypically masculine desire — which could be read as implying either that Imshael himself has stereotypically masculine interests (i.e., in easy sex with young/naive partners) or modes of thinking (assuming that others would share such interests) and/or that he typically makes these offers to men. If the Inquisitor does ask for "Virgins," his subsequent reply ("I should really stop offering virgins.  Everyone always chooses them") indicates that he has made the offer of virgins quite often, suggesting he's just tossing out what he thinks the random person on the street might be interested in.

I for one strongly recommend making some kind of deal with Imshael during the Call Me Imshael (DAI) quest. First, you get some nice loot more or less for free: a Superb Corrupting Rune (if "Virgins" is chosen, in compensation for the lack of virgins); a collection of gems worth 1,532 in gold (if "Riches" is chosen); or the same great items that you would otherwise have to fight him to obtain, namely the shield March of the Everlasting, an Amulet of Renewal, and 3 Spirit Essences (if "Power" is chosen). But most importantly, if spared Imshael will kill Michel de Chevin for you, which is objectively the most wonderful and morally correct outcome. Besides, the only conceivable benefit to letting Michel de Chevin live is getting a crappy low-level Enchanter Staff Schematic (only 55-62-71-73 in terms of DPS) which almost certainly do not need at the completion of the War Table Operation called Assigning Michel de Chevin. There is literally no other way to kill Michael de Chevin other than to make a deal with Imshael — to repeat, you must let Imshael go in order to ensure Michel de Chevin's death — and allowing a literal demon to unwittingly do your dirty work for you is an excellent way to maintain your reputation as the leader of a shady military-religious organization. Moreover, Imshael's escape and subsequent rampage is also mostly Michel de Chevin's fault, so you can blame any hypothetical future destruction on the part of the re-released Imshael on the now-dead Michel de Chevin.

Anyways, returning to gender in Fade Spirits... While spirits and demons are strongly gender-coded (e.g., Valor, Justice, Compassion, Rage, Pride, Sloth, etc. as male/masculine; Faith, Wisdom, Desire as female/feminine), it's unclear to what extent they may be reflecting back the mages and dreamers who encounter them versus actually having stable gender identities.

To take perhaps the most prominent example, prior to merging with Anders, Justice may have had a more fluid sense of gender (or perhaps simply failed to recognize the significance mortals generally accord to an alignment between gender identity and sexual anatomy), given the following banter with Velanna in Awakening:

Velanna: It seems you actually like this world.

Justice: I do. I have had experiences I cannot even begin to explain.

Velanna: A pity that you'll soon fall apart.

Justice: I could find and inhabit another corpse. A female body might offer a different perspective, wouldn't you think?

Velanna: If I die in your presence, you stay away from my body, you hear me?

Justice: Your objection is noted.

So Justice would like to acquire a woman's "perspective" and "experiences" to augment the ones he has come to enjoy about the mortal realm, despite his initial protestations. Here he admits that he does in fact "like this world" and would even be willing to procure another rotting corpse to remain in it. It seems like he may even have been eyeing Velanna as a potential host (about the same time as he was badgering Anders); it's shortly after this hard rejection ("you stay away from my body") that he returns to berating her about killing humans in the Wending Wood, as if siccing possessed trees on colonizers is in any way wrong.

Dragon Age Origins also provides the only clear instance of a bigender or gender fluid character in Witherfang/the Lady of the Forest. As Zathrian later explains, they are in fact the same entity (as opposed to host and spirit?), with Witherfang and the Lady representing two different facets of one spirit's nature. While the Lady is obviously gendered female/feminine by name, pronouns (always being referred to with "she/her"), and physical appearance, Witherfang is specifically stated to be a male wolf (and referred to with "he/him"). They are also given stereotypically feminine and masculine attributes, respectively - the Lady standing for peace and cooperation, Witherfang for violence and blind vengeance, in parallel with the differences between Keeper Lanaya (pacific, multicultural, feminine) and Keeper Zathrian (vengeful, warlike, sort of masculine). Unfortunately for our purposes, though, Witherfang/the Lady are not reported to have engaged in any sexual or romantic relations at any point in their existence in the mortal plane, and the werewolves serving the Lady appear to consider her as a leader or mother figure rather than a potential mate.

Returning to Mihris/Imshael, the pair parts rather soon after initiating their working relationship, so the long-term implications of possession are unclear in her case. Given that across the first two games, characters are depicted banging female/feminine Desire demons and/or banging others with their presence or instigation, it seems deeply unfair that there are no opportunities to peg Imshael despite his evident willingness to trade the sexual favors of others for his life.

Other Spirit Possession Cases: More Information Needed

There are of course a few other cases of (potential) spirit possession, although with these we lack adequate information on the topic at hand:

Sigrid/[Unnamed Spirit]: In the Jaws of Hakkon DLC, we encounter a young Avvar woman named Sigrid, who exiles herself from Stonebear Hold out of a refusal to part with her "teacher" — in this context, a Fade spirit. Traditionally, Avvar mages invite benevolent spirits to possess them as part of their education and training (and potentially continue to cohabit with them indefinitely if they fear they are too weak to withstand demonic assaults), later releasing these "teachers" in a special ritual when no longer needed. The education and training of mages appears to occur across a similar developmental period across Thedas, beginning as soon as magic manifests (according to written lore, usually around puberty, although we see a number of very young children manifesting magic) and typically ending around late adolescence or early adulthood (apparently the 17-20 year age range). In the Circles, if Anders and Kinloch Hold are any indication, it appears that many apprentices (most of them teenagers) are sexually active despite the restrictions imposed by Templars. It's unclear whether and how much sexual activity on the part of Avvar mages-in-training occurs or is culturally permitted, but the cases of Anders/Justice and Flemeth/Mythal strongly suggest that spirit possession in and of itself is not a barrier to sexual activity, so it stands to reason that at least some possessed Avvar mages are putting themselves out there. Sigrid has apparently chosen to remain bonded with her spirit over the long-term as an adult. How might this affect her relationships? Unfortunately, we do not know.

Aldenon/Wisdom: Admittedly, this potential case of spirit possession is rather speculative. Aldenon was a royal advisor and an apostate rebel mage reputed to have a booming voice, extraordinarily powerful magic, an unyielding commitment to his ideals (perhaps at the expense of practicality), and claimed he could see the future using Wisdom's Eye. He apparently had a close and special relationship with King Calenhad.

Ameridan/Unnamed "spirit companion": Also admittedly speculative. Ameridan was the First Inquisitor, as well as an elven mage, and the plot of Jaws of Hakkon revolves heavily around uncovering the truth about him. Interestingly, one of his memories reveals: "My spirit companion believes we can seal the dragon away, even if we cannot kill it. It is less clear whether I can do so without sealing myself in as well... but I have little choice." As @mikkeneko points out in her excellent meta, this “spirit companion" may very well be an internal spirit (meaning possession), given the pronoun usage, the failure of his experienced Templar friend Haron to recognize the presence of any spirit, this being the only reference to a spirit despite it being a trusted "companion", and other factors. Ameridan was in a long-term romantic relationship with an elven Dreamer mage named Telana, a fact which the Chantry attempted to suppress; as Professor Bram Kenric puts it in the codex for Inquisitor Ameridan, "Ameridan was forced to retire due to the still-young Chantry's restrictions requiring celibacy, as he was involved in a relationship with a mysterious 'lady-mage' that the Chantry erased from history." Ameridan addresses her (and their romance) directly in one of his memories: "Telana, my love. I should not have asked you to come with me, though I know you would not have stayed behind. You are a Dreamer, and this dragon the Avvar have tamed carries a demon inside it. I can see how its presence hurts you. You should be at Halamshiral, reminding our people of our alliance with Drakon. Not here, risking death again with me. Still, in the old tongue, your name, Telanadas, means 'nothing is inevitable.' I will remember your name and hope." Solas, Dorian, Cassandra, and Vivienne all reply remarking about how Dreamers are "sensitive to demons" and how the demon must have caused her immense "pain." Dreamers, however, do not appear to have any aversion to non-demonic Fade spirits; Feynriel has no reaction to Justice despite being horrified at demons to the extent of considering Tranquility (which he had previously considered worse than death), and the most prominent Dreamer character, Solas, loves engaging with spirits, calls spirits his close friends, and spends his time seeking them out and trying to understand them. If Ameridan was bonded with a spirit, it may even be the case that it attracted Telana the Dreamer and ultimately drew them closer. Perhaps they initially found each other through the Fade. Unfortunately, we do not have much detail about the relationship, other than that their love was so powerful that Telana sought him out despite the demon and ultimately perished attempting to reach him.

Grandin/Rage: Although Rage is technically a demon, unlike most cases of demonic possession, their relationship seems to be consensual and even symbiotic, as the demon apparently saved Grandin's life from the Jaws of Hakkon and gave him the strength to seek revenge for the deaths of his friends (against the same enemies as the Inquisitor and co. are fighting). When discovered, Grandin/Rage swears to continue to fight in the service of the Inquisition, and unlike other cases of demonic possession, the protagonist has the option of allowing him to go free. They appear to be in agreement, refuse to be parted, and speak in first person plural pronouns. Once his close friend Scout Harding learns of his new condition, though, she essentially considers him gone and his life already over, so even if the demon doesn't go feral and start attacking the incorrect targets it seems unlikely that he will be able to reintegrate into society and enjoy normal relationships while still possessed.

Putting the Pieces Together: What would Fen’Harel do?

In evaluating the possibility of Fade spirit sex, our most important source may be the funky hobo elf that started it all. In Trespasser, of course, Solas reveals that he is actually Fen’Harel (“The Dread Wolf,” the elven trickster god), responsible for the separation of worlds that created the Fade and the Veil standing between it and the mortal world. Over the centuries, his only close relationships (before meeting Lavellan) appear to have been with Fade spirits rather than mortals. So he should know more than anyone about sexuality in the Fade — and he does!

At one point in banter, Blackwall (with Sera's encouragement) even asks Solas point-blank about the possibility of spirit sex:

Blackwall: Sera and I were just talking about you. We need you to settle a question for us.

Solas: (Sighs.) Sera's involved? So this question will be offensive.

Blackwall: Yes, probably. Sorry.

Blackwall: You make friends with spirits in the Fade. So... um, are there any that are more than just friends? If you know what I mean.

Solas: Oh, for... really?!

Blackwall: Look, it's a natural thing to be curious about!

Solas: For a twelve-year-old!

Blackwall: It's a simple yes or no question!

Solas: Nothing about the Fade or spirits is simple, especially not that.

Blackwall: Aha! So you do have experience in these matters!

Solas: I did not say that.

Blackwall: Don't panic. It'll be our little secret.

Solas: Ass.

Blackwall: Now who's twelve?

(Side Note: This officially makes at least 4 major characters who have expressed an interest in sex and/or romance involving spirits - Zevran, Isabela, Sera, Blackwall. Up to 6 total if we count Maryden and Hawke, whose interest/involvement may be conditional on player choices. This should count as explicit validation on the part of Bioware).

In case Blackwell calling him out didn't make it sufficiently clear, Solas just admitted that Fade spirit sex is "especially not" "simple." As in Fade spirit sex is not just real and complicated but relatively more complicated than most things in the Fade. As in much further elaboration is desperately needed.

Furthermore, it may be especially noteworthy in this context that when Solas initiates (let me repeat, initiates) romantic/sexual contact with the Inquisitor, it's in the Fade. He's excited and confident enough not simply to accept another's affection but to actually take the lead, reaching out to grasp Lavellan's hand and pulling her into a kiss in the Fade, even while he becomes embarrassed and seeks to withdraw when once again in the physical world. Yes yes, it could reflect his general preference for and comfort with being in the Fade over the physical world or a nervousness about the reactions of others (given that going incorporeal ensures perfect privacy), but I would much prefer to immediately jump to the conclusion that it means that Solas has a lot of experience getting laid in the Fade and briefly panicked about how much she would read into it and whether she might harbor any prejudice against intercorporeal (???) relationships given traditional Dalish suspicion of contact with spirits.

Conclusion

If you've finally read to the end of this obscenely long post about Fade spirit sexuality, then I don't even know what to say. Uh, thanks for indulging in my unhinged ghost sex fantasies dumped on my blog under the flimsy excuse of writing another Dragon Age meta? To be fair, though, you probably wasted far much less of your life reading this than I spent writing this. As always, linking to porn of any of the spirit/spirit-possessed characters above (er, the adult ones) is strongly encouraged and may increase the likelihood of you becoming my favorite mutual.